Cultureshark

Goodbye for a while

2011-09-11T15:00:00.002-04:00

I'll spare you the long-winded explanation here and give you the short-winded one: I'm going on an indefinite sabbatical from posting. I thank everyone who has followed me and checked in from time to time, and I hope to deserve your eyeballs again at some point, but right now a combination of things is preventing me from devoting the time I want to spend on the site. Ie have been able to keep up with some shorter posts lately, but tons of ideas for longer-form pieces just aren't being converted to actual content, and that's kind of bumming me out.

When I get back into it, I want to be able to not just write, but to promote the site as well to maybe get a little more return. Even the small effort I put forth for this blog takes a toll, and as someone who does a lot of typing in his day job, even preparing sarcastic posts can cause some repetitive stress. Plus I want to spend more free time with the family, including my wonderful young'uns, and, to be honest, I want to spend more time just watching, reading, and listening stuff I've accumulated rather than writing about it.

So I'm tired but otherwise feeling great, and I have a lot of stuff to say, but I just don't think I have the time to say it in this format right now. I'm gonna try to amp it up on Twitter, so if you do find my musings interesting, you can follow me over there: @Cultureshark

Thanks again, folks. I'm frustrated to put the blog on the shelf for a while, but if I can't muster the resources to write about "Battle of the Network Stars," it's time for a break!

This underwhelming week in Instant Watching

2011-08-31T16:25:00.004-04:00

September 1 is the day the new Netflix pricing structure goes into effect, and with many customers making hard decisions about which plan they want, and Netflix presumably trying to push many into abandoning disc rentals altogether, you would think that right about now the company would really be beefing up its streaming library.

You would think.

The first of the month is usually a time when a flood of new titles becomes available, and since that is tomorrow, maybe it's a wee bit unfair for me to write this today. I see a few interesting things that will make customers happy coming tomorrow, such as a good chunk of the James Bond series. But this past week has been dead.

In fact, according to instantwatcher.com, as I write this, only 30 new streaming titles appeared on Netflix in the last 7 days, and none today. That's not a whole lot. Now, if there were high-profile, prestigious movies and TV series in that list, I wouldn't be as concerned about the quantity. But Netflix hasn't been bringing the quality this week, either, which seems odd given the pivotal nature of this time frame, a period in which many customers may consider dropping the service rather then deal with altered rental options and/or rate increases.

Some of the notable titles added lately:

Young Einstein: If you've been sitting there telling everyone, "I'd sign up for the streaming except for the appalling lack of Yahoo Serious titles available," well, you just got SERVED, mate.

Big Trouble in Little China: A friend of mine in high school loved quoting this movie and seemed to get a big kick out of the Kurt Russell character. It's not so much a big deal for me, but maybe if my friend has Netflix and hasn't had TNT, AMC, or the other channels that played the hell out of this over the past 20 years, he'll be pumped.

Wrecked: A direct-to-video Adrian Brody vehicle.

Knockout: The latest Stone Cold Steve Austin movie. I love Stone Cold Steve Austin, but...

The Expendables: OK, Austin's in this one, too, and this is not only an enjoyable action flick but a prime example of the kind of thing many Netflix users expect: a high-profile recent theatrical release. 3 months after it debuts on Epix, which of course already waited several months after its debut on home video, Instant Watching gets it. So it's a ways after that theatrical release. Still, this is a solid addition. The only problem is it's pretty much the only one this past week.

Zero Effect: Quirky Bill Pullman movie that has been all over pay cable over the years--not a marquee title but a nice addition in a big cluster of other additions. As one of the more notable movies over a 7-day-or-so period, it doesn't seem that impressive.

Lip Service: Kari Wuhrer movie. I can remember when Kari Wuhrer was almost as big a deal in the direct-to-video universe as Adrian Brody.

Let's hope there are a LOT of cool adds tomorrow.

What I've been watching this summer (Part 2)

2011-08-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Breaking Bad: I don't have a lot to say about this, but if you're watching, you know how good it was, is, and likely will be. This season got off to a harrowing start, and I continue to be satisfied with what is arguably the best drama on TV right now.

Jon Benjamin Has a Van: Comedian and voice actor extraordinaire H. Jon Benjamin is the star and driving force behind this odd hybrid of faux-reality show/sitcom/sketch comedy. Episodes often take a tremenndous amount of airtime by 2011 standards to get to the payoff, but it's usually worth it. The short comedy bits sprinkled throughout are often hilarious. This is not for everyone's tastes, but it's a sharp, funny program that feels fresh and different from everything else. So of course it probably won't be picked up for a second season.

Falling Skies: Mrs. Shark and I watched this season together after falling behind and getting into it late. It was solid, I thought, though I can't accept Noah Wylie as a gritty resistance leader against alien invaders. To me, of course, he'll always be The Librarian. The show is a little cheesy sometimes, and the dialogue was a little too on the nose early on in straining to establish the characters, but it settled in pretty well. The special effects are surprisingly effective. I'll be back for the second season.

This Week in DVD

2011-08-27T12:01:00.001-04:00

The Beaver: I still don't know what the acceptable level of engagament with a Mel Gibson film is. Paying to see it in a theater: Too soon? Buying the DVD: Too soon? What about a rental? I mean, Redbox is only a buck. When it comes to Netflix streaming and/or Starz, is it OK to watch it then? This is all too confusing. Somebody go ask Zach Galifanakis to clear it up for us.

Win Win: This may well be a fine film as is, but when I saw the name "Paul Giamatti" and the word "wrestling," I didn't envision him as a high school grappling coach, but as a professional wrestling manager in a 1970s period piece. P.G. in a Captain Lou Albano bipopic, anyone? After pondering how much that would rule, it's kind of a letdown to read up on what "Win Win" is actually about.

The Greatest Movie Ever Sold: Morgan Spurlock's self-conscious look at the pervasive influence of marketing in our society. The way I understand it, Spurlock ate nothing but advertising for 30 days, and we see the result at the end of the movie.

Blitz: Cop actioner with Jason Statham, Paddy Considine, and Garcetti from "The Wire" went straight to video, but it can't be that bad, can it? It's already on Instant Watching, too. Hmm, maybe it IS that bad.

Sympathy for Delicious: I really didn't remember this at all, and then when I saw the names in the cast--Mark Ruffalo, Laura Linney, Orlando Bloom, Juliette Lewis (not that I'm a huge fan of all of them, but still), I wondered how I could have forgotten it. Then I noticed it was directed by Ruffalo! Come on, I figured, this deserves at least a glance, right? Then I went back to thinking about Paul Giamatti playing Captain Lou Albano. I just can't get that brilliant idea out of my head!

Gossip Girl Season 4: Hey, think this is it for Blake Lively since she's a big movie star after the Green Lantern flick was such a big hit and--whoops. Well, she might still have to leave the show to crank out those "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" movies.

The Event Complete Series: Did they ever reveal what The Event was? It would be pretty funny if they didn't bother but nobody cared enough to complain.

Off the Map Complete Series: Made by the people that brought you "Grey's Anatomy," and I got enough secondhand viewing of this courtesy my wife that I can confirm that it's pretty much what you'd expect it to be.

Rowan Atkinson Presents Canned Laughter: Sometimes I just put things down here to remind myself to look into them and figure out what the deuce they are. Hey, a 1979 Rowan Atkinson sitcom? Sure! Sounds good to me.

WWE OMG Moments: Wonder if they'll include the time when, as a kid, I mocked Hulk Hogan out loud and the guy sitting in front of me turned around, looked at my dad as if he would have gone after me if he hadn't been there, and argued that Hogan was in the right. Or the time when I had great seats and saw Torrie Wilson walk right by and drooled for about 10 minutes afterward. Or the time--you know, they really should have consulted me, because I doubt any of these are gonna be on the video.

Vault of Coolness: You call that a "Wrestling Album"?

2011-08-26T11:59:00.000-04:00

I'm STILL disappointed to see this ad and realize it's promoting a book of photographs and not a record album:

Of course we know that Greg Valentine went on to become one half of the music/wrestling combo Rhythm and Blues with the Honky Tonk Man, but what I wouldn't give to own a vintage recording of The Hammer's rendition of "Something." And who wouldn't enjoy Wildfire Tommy Rich's southern-fried take on Michael Murphey's "Wildfire?"

On the radio: Sweet Seduction is worthy of trivial factoid generation

2011-08-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

When the family sits down for a meal, we'll often put on one of the Music Choice digital channels to get some tunes for our listening pleasure. The other day, I was feeding my little one while the eighties music station played in the background.

Quick confession: Much as I love my son, I don't always stare at his baby-food-plastered mug the entire time I'm shoveling it towards him. I like glancing over at the tube and seeing the little factoids Music Choice runs on the screen as sort of a screen saver while the song plays.

I didn't remember the 1989 song "Hooked on You" by Sweet Sensation, nor do I remember much about Sweet Sensation except that there were about 10 similarly named bands around that time they everyone mixed up, so I wanted to learn something by watching the Music Choice parade of trivia.

When the song began, a note at the top said the band formed in the Bronx. A not-so-clear picture of an undetermined female--perhaps a member of the group--dominated the screen.

Then there was a note about the advent of recorded music in general.

Then I saw something about how the Top 40 was created.

Then it was a tidbit about the cassette tape.

As the song went on, so did the factoids, but they were all generic ones, with nothing specific to Sweet Sensation. Maybe I missed something while ducking pear/pineapple spittle from my son, but there was a clear lack of info about the act. Is this band that obscure, that faceless, that it merits such an approach? No trivia at ALL for these gals?

I engaged my research assistant, The Internet, to dig up some information on my own so that I could make this post and drop some knowledge on all the Music Choice watchers who are scratching their heads wondering what the deal is with the artists behind such hits as...uh, "Hooked on You." Given the band name, the song title, and the album title, "Take It While It's Hot," I know what you're thinking: pretentious art rock.

Well, according to Wikipedia, they were a Puerto Rican freestyle/dance music trio, they experienced several membership changes, and their career lasted from about 1986 to 1991. That album spawned 5 singles. "Hooked On You" peaked at 23 on the Billboard Hot Singles chart.

See, that wasn't so hard, Music Choice. There are tidbits for this group! There are tidbits for everyone! Just do a little work next time.

Talk about a crisis

2011-08-24T21:46:00.002-04:00

The worst thing about yesterday's earthquake was it implanted the song "Walk on Water" by Eddie Money in my head. See, when it happened, I thought of Money's "Shakin'," but since I don't know many of the words to that beyond the chorus, I somehow transitioned to "Walk on Water," and now I can't get it out. Yes, even the "na na na na na, na na na na na" part.

See, this is apparently how I react in times of crisis--by associating the event with some inane pop culture reference. If an asteroid bears down on the planet in the near future, I'll probably hum that song from the Pac-Man Fever album or else just repeat that exchange from "National Lampoon's Vacation":

Got Asteroids?
No, but my dad does. He can't even sit on the toilet some days.

(NOTE: The preceding post is not intended to make light of the recent East Coast quake, nor of anyone who suffered in a real, non-musical way from that event, other earthquakes, or other natural disasters, for that matter. It is, though, intended to kind of bust Eddie Money's balls a little bit.)

What I've been watching this summer (Part 1)

2011-08-22T08:00:00.001-04:00

It took me weeks to notice, but the only stuff I've been watching regularly this summer has been on cable. I am not watching one single broadcast network, except for sports, for more than 5 minutes at a time. But let's look at what I have been following on cable:

Louie: Let's start with the best: "Louie" is the best thing on TV right now (except maybe "Comedy Shop" rerurns on RTV). It's funny, sad, serious, thoughtful, and it surprises week to week while entertaining. You can't ask for much more than the ambition Louis C.K. demonstrates with this show, especially when it's so well executed. I mean, I knew the guy was funny, but as far as his ability to so often make me FEEL something while watching his TV show...who knew? This is so good, I'm tempted to revisit "Pootie Tang."

Wilfred: This FX comedy might suffer if you compare it to the show it precedes on Thursday nights, but it is pretty good in its own right. Elijah Wood interacts with his neighbor's dog, played by a guy in a dog suit, and of course Wood's character, Ryan, is the only one who can do this. The premise is funky, but the show itself if is really, really twisted, with Wilfred and Ryan engaging in scenarios involving drugs, humping stuffed animals, and sundry dirty deeds. Something about it just works. Since the show dropped, or at least downplayed, the unrequited love angle between Ryan and Wilfred's owner Jenna, an angle that was dragging things, it has become funnier and more poignant. Yeah, there's the humping, but there's also thoughtful explorations of human existence. But, yeah, there's humping.

Rescue Me: I quit on the show last season, fed up by the ludicrous and repetitive yet inconsistent writing. It seemed the show had pretty much said all it had to say. Then I experienced some hunger pangs, so I watched the season finale before jumping on for this final set of episodes now airing.

Only I got tired of the show and jumped back off. It wasn't that "Rescue Me" got off to a particularly bad start; though it seemed each episode had one scene that was over the top, it was more like it had settled into a kind of drab mediocrity. But it was bringing back Maura Tierney's annoying character that pushed me away a bit. "Where is this going?" I thought. Then I saw a preview that indicated where it was going, and even if it was misleading, it was enough of a prod to get me the rest of the way off the train. It's a shame, too, because in its prime, "Rescue Me" was one of my favorite things on television.

From the really bad ideas department

2011-08-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

I was catching up on my TV news last week when I read this comment about the forthcoming "Charlie's Angels" remake:

"If Jack Bauer and Carrie Bradshaw had a love child, it would be Charlie's Angels," executive producer Alfred Gough told deadline.com in reference to the new series.

The article tells us that we can expect a more "grounded" and "real" version of "Angels" this fall on NBC. Uh...who wants to see a more grounded and real "Charlie's Angels?" The only reason anyone remembers the original is because it didn't take itself seriously. Now NBC comes along to give us yet another sober take on an iconic but hardly classic series, and I'll bet this one meets the same fate as "Knight Rider" and "Bionic Woman."

Oh, and if Jack Bauer and Carrie Bradshaw had a love child, for one thing, the Chinese must have engineered it as a way to finally get their revenge on Jack; furthermore, that child would be whisked to a secluded orphanage and raised away from civilization, never to see the light of day in mainstream society.

This Week in DVD

2011-08-20T15:28:00.002-04:00

The Conspirator: I don't mean to say Robert Redford is becoming an even more political filmmaker, but I hear in this take on the Lincoln assassination, the conspirators include the Tea Party, Rush Limbaugh, and the CIA (and oddly enough, Bobby Kennedy).

Jane Eyre: This version of the Bronte novel offers...zombies? Vampires? Cowboys and aliens? Wait, you mean to tell me it's just people in funny accents and pretty dresses talking?

Priest: Remember some years back when it seemed like Paul Bettany was in like every other movie you went to go see? His new career strategy: Be in every other movie you DON'T go to see.

Something Borrowed: I was all set to complain about how this generic-sounding romantic comedy epitomizes the lack of fresh approaches to chick flicks today, but what's the alternative? Another "Jane Eyre?"

Hoodwinked Too: Hood vs. Evil: An sequel nobody wanted, following an animated film nobody liked. And by "nobody,: I mean me and most of the reviews I saw. You'd think Hollywood would save itself a lot of time and money by focusing its market research on me and the reviews I see.

John Carpenter's The Ward: Glad they clarified that. For a minute, I thought this "Wes Craven's The Ward."

The Killing: Criterion ups the ante on this cool Stanley Kubrick noir by throwing in the inferior-but-hey-it's-still-a-whole-nother-movie-you-ingrate "Killer's Kiss." It doesn't seem as loaded with extras, otherwise, as you might wish from a Criterion, but at 22 bucks from Amazon...not a bad buy, I'd say.

Night Raid 1931 The Complete Collection: Anyone else see this title and become disappointed after discovering it's not some cool pre-code adventure epic, but an anime series?

Spin City Season 5: Charlie Sheen. It's been a hectic week for me, and that's all I got.

Vault of Coolness: Cowboy Freddy Mac

2011-08-15T08:00:00.001-04:00

How's this for a cool picture of our boy Freddie Mac? I like how he has some tough guy Western duds and is pointing a gun at someone off camera (somehow I doubt it's Edward G. Robinson), yet he signs the pic, "Cordially."

I assume this is a publicity shot (no pun intended, but I'll take credit if you like it) for one of the many oaters in which Fred starred, and though the pic has a little bit of whimsy to it, I assume it's an "adult" western.

I mean adult as opposed to juvenile, of course, but isn't it funny to think of Fred as Steve Douglas, trying to explain to Chip and Ernie the difference between, say, "Rawhide" and "The Cisco Kid"?

"Gee, Dad, I thought an adult show was like that stag thing that Robbie tried to sneak into last month."
"Well, er, Chip, er, yes, but, uh, er, that was, er, a different kind of adult show."
"I don't understand."
"Uh, Ernie, let me try to, er, explain. You see, uh, an adult western is, uh--"

At this point, Uncle Charley, who by virtue of his Merchant Marines service saw things that would make Steve's eyeballs curl, might try to jump in, much to Steve's chagrin.

"Uh, that'll be enough, Uncle Charley."
"What? I was just thinking about a film loop I saw on Pago Pago--"
"Uh, that'll be enough, Uncle Charley."

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, cool picture, huh?

Cultureshark Remembers...My TV set

2011-08-14T11:00:00.000-04:00

R.I.P., good ol' 27" Panasonic. You brought me a quality picture and consistent, service-free operation for nearly 20 years. Oh, how happy I'll be in 20 years if anything I buy today is still running then...

...including the HD flat screen I got to replace the Panasonic. Unfortunately, for the time being, I am still mired in the world of Glorious Low-Def Television, due to a variety of factors I won't get into now (and, yes, me being cheap is one, though not the primary, factor). So I run the standard signal into the HD set, and the result is somewhat less than spectacular, but fine for Cultureshark Tower's secondary TV. Hey, as long as my daughter can enjoy Nick Jr. on it while the grownups are making dinner, it's all good.

Back to the soon-to-be departed Panasonic, though: It was a great buddy, accompanying me in college, experiencing the heady days of the DVD era, and coming along for the wonderful ride of home ownership. It will be missed.

And now how the hell do I get rid of it?

Seriously, nobody wants these old tube TVs anymore, even if they don't have intermittent picture problems. If it ain't digital, it ain't donate-able. I can't just set a TV set by the curb for the refuse collectors to pick up. Well, I probably could--those dudes take anything--but I'm not supposed to, so I have to wait for one of those electronic recycling days at the local dump (there's a great phrase to work into a blog post).

I guess for now I'll have plenty of opportunity to reflect on my longtime pal...because it'll be sitting right in my living room, practically in front of the door, until I can ditch it.

My wife reads "People" so you don't have to

2011-08-13T13:59:00.004-04:00

Well, just as I feared, the July 25 issue does not stack up to the loaded July 18 edition of "People" magazine. However, there was one useful piece of info I gleaned when I accidentally read it.

The "One Last Thing" feature on the mag's back page, which is part of the "Chatter" department, or maybe it's the other way around, features short takes on various issues from a different BIG STAR. The July 25 issue spotlights Chris "Captain America/Human Torch/Other characters in non-comic-book movies" Evans.

One of the things "People" asks Evans is the last greeting card he sent. This is vital info, of course, which makes Evans' response disappointing: "I'm a guy. I don't do that stuff."

Actually, forget disappointing; this statement is puzzling. He implies that REAL men don't "do" greeting cards. I assume by "guy," Evans means "single guy without attachments or any close relationship with family members whatsoever," because I don't quite buy his premise.

I mean, I've never claimed to be Ed Asner or anything, but I like to think I'm macho enough. Yet I often send and give greeting cards. If guys are excused from doing this, or worse, if they should NOT do this, I wish to hell my wife, kids, parents, siblings, and other relatives would get the memo because at 2, 3, 4 bucks a pop, the tally adds up, and I could use the extra cash. I mean, with all that coin I save from skipping out on greeting cards, I could go buy some macho products like Axe body spray or maybe a new chest medallion.

I don't think this is gonna fly with my loved ones, but I don't doubt Chris Evans. After all, he's Captain By God America, and he must know what it is to be a guy. Check that: an AMERICAN guy. Maybe those Frenchmen send greeting cards to their mothers every now and then, but not us good ol' red-blooded American males.

This Week in DVD

2011-08-10T21:19:00.002-04:00

Mars Needs Moms: You know it's not a huge video week when one of the biggest new releases is one of the biggest bombs of recent memory. Those of you who hate the Robert Zemeckis "dead eyes" animation style--you win! Those of you who want to see more children's movies where aliens apparently abduct our mothers for God Knows What--you lose.

Super: Rainn Wilson plays a dude who becomes a real-life superhero. I don't mean he gets bitten by a radioactive lantern injected with serum; I mean he just puts on a costume and calls himself a superhero. "Anybody cian do that," you say. Oh, yeah? I'd like to see YOU try. Actually, no, I wouldn't. Isn't this like the tenth movie, documentary and fiction combined, about average dudes becoming superheros in the last few years? Time to move back to, oh, I don't know, body-switching pictures.

Your Highness: Goofy fantasy-movie spoof also known as "Natalie Portman was in WHAT right after 'Black Swan'?

Paul: Another Simon Pegg/Nick Frost comedy. They encounter an alien (presumably one not looking for moms), hilarity ensues, and the reviews weren't all that solid, but I don't care. If it's a Pegg/Frost movie, I'll go see it. Uh, well, if I don't see it, I'll rent it. Uh, if I don't rent it, I'll see it on pay cable. If I--oh, hell, I'm gonna try to see this eventually, OK?

Fox and the Hound: This ain't exactly in the pantheon of all-time Disney greats, but my grandfather took me to see it when I was a wee lad, and it was good enough for me then, by cracky.

Challenge of the Gobots: I remember thinking Gobots were a fraction as cool as Transformers...until I saw they had a TV show called "CHALLENGE of the Gobots." Adding that one word made them almost awesome.

Webster Season 3: All I'm saying is, I would have liked this show a lot more were it called "Challenge of Webster."

James Ellroy's L.A. City of Demons: How the heck did I totally miss this true crime show on Investigation Discovery when it aired at the beginning of the year? Oh, yeah, it was on Investigation Discovery. Still, shame on me.

TV Cops and Private Eyes: Intriguing mish-mosh of old-school crime show episodes from Timeless. At only 10 bucks, it looks worth a shot even if it combines some of the same old same old ("Dragnet," I'm assuming the same PD episodes) with some interesting rarities ("Boston Blackie," anyone?) As usual, getting details about this is impossible until some kind soul posts a review somewhere, but we should keep our private eyes on this one.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High: I'm breaking from my usual custom of ignoring Blu-Ray releases that are already on standard DVD so that we can all pause and think about Phoebe Cates in high-def. Sigh.

Four Daughters Collection: $50 retail from Warner Archives. Just think, in the Good Ol' Days, this would have been much cheaper, loaded with extras, and widely available in stores. Sigh. See, also George Sanders Saint Collection.

Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff: Sounds like a cool doc about the legendary cinematographer. You know what else is cool? This and many other documentaries are showing up on Netflix Instant Watching the same day as the disc release. That's one area Netflix is covering pretty well.

Tactical Force: Yeah, it may be crap, but it stars Stone Cold Austin. So there.

I got a blunder for you

2011-08-10T10:57:00.002-04:00

TV Guide Network is running a special called "TV's Biggest Blunders" Part 2--yes, Part 2--this week.

Hey, I have an idea for an entry: How about dropping the television listings from TV Guide Network and turning it into a poor man's E! Network?

That one didn't make Part 1, but maybe we'll see it this time.

The Wonderful World of TCM: Tarzan and what comes next

2011-08-09T15:30:00.004-04:00

I appreciate the weekly Tarzan screening brought to us by The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind, though I checked out after the Johnny Weissmullers ended a few weeks ago. Truth be told, I sort of "checked out" even earlier, as at a certain point I realized that while I could see the appeal of the series, they weren't always holding my attention, and I began to use them more as background than as dedicated appointment DVR viewing.

Two installments that stood out in the Weissmuller run were "Tarzan's New York Adventure" because it seemed to always be on when I was a kid (maybe it just stood out because Tarzan wore a suit in it) and "Tarzan Triumphs" because--this may be sacrilege--Frances Gifford surprised be my making forget it was the first in the series without Maureen O'Sullivan. Yowza yowza!

I've been thinking about what TCM will run on Saturdays once it exhausts the King of the Jungle's portfolio. It seems a shame to let the Saturday morning/afternoon series concept expire after this and the long (and very much welcome) Bowery Boys stint. I see that Philo Vance is on tap for September, with the Hildegarde Withers mysteries slated for October as the Tarzans continue. These and many of the best-known and best-loved film series have already run on the channel in recent years. So forgive me if my personal preferences run to material that's buried a little deeper in the vaults.

So, Boston Blackie, Crime Doctor, Mexican Spitfire, Andy Hardy, Dr. Kildare, The Saint, I love you all, but you have made numerous appearances already, often in convenient marathons.
Maisie and The Falcon also make frequent appearances on the channel (though I admit I do need to watch those Maisies someday).

The Lone Wolfs, the Whistlers, the Perry Masons, the Nancy Drews, the I Love a Mysteries, and the Sherlock Holmeses are either on video or already make regular appearances on TCM.

I like Columbia's Blondie series based on the enduring comic strip, but I...have access to those already, not that I wouldn't appreciate seeing pristine prints.

Abbott and Costello are great, but I have the DVDs, and those movies haven't been wallflowers, either. In fact, This TV is running many of them lately. Speaking of This, the channel is also showing Francis the Talking Mule films, and they also have slipped in a few Ma and Pa
Kettles to complement those other Universal franchises.

This also runs the occasional Charlie Chan film, as does TCM, and most of the Chans are on video. Same with the cool Mr. Moto series. I'd like to see the rest of the Michael Shaynes, actually. That would be a good candidate, but a handful of those are on DVD.

After thinking this through, I have a winner. The one series I would like to see make its way to TCM on Saturdays after the guy in the loincloth moves on is...

The Aldrich Family.

I've never seen any of these 11 Paramount Studios pictures, and I don't recall The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind airing them since I've had it. It was a popular franchise back in the 1940s and 1950s, originating as a radio program and eventually moving into television. But I'd be happy just to see the movies.

Maybe there are rights issues or materials issues that prevent them from being shown, but as far as I know the Aldrich Family movies have been M.I.A. for years. I think I'd enjoy 'em. Make it happen, TCM.

Cultureshark Cares: A Public Service Announcement

2011-08-05T17:00:00.000-04:00

Months ago, when The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind released its Summer Under the Stars Schedule, I rejoiced at the sight of August 5, John Garfield Day, because Turner Classic Movies had finally scheduled "The Breaking Point." This long-awaited--by me, for sure, but
I know others have been on the hunt for it as well--film is on tonight at 10:00 P.M. I'll be clearing my DVR and hoping there's not some kind of freak storm or something.

This 1950 adaptation of "To Have and Have Not" has a distinctive pedigree even beyond its critical acclaim. It stars Garfield, is directed by Michael Curtiz, and as the second adaptation of Hemingway's novel, makes an interesting comparison piece to the Humphrey Bogart/Bacall/Hawks classic "To Have and Have Not." Or so I hear--I've never seen it.

I've wanted to see it for years, and though I figured all those factors I mentioned above, PLUS the fact it's a Warner Brothers picture, made it a likely candidate for a screening on TCM. Well, I figured wrong, and I haven't seen "Breaking Point" listed in the 10 years or so I've had the channel. I've only read about legendary screenings of the film in the wee hours on outlets like
Cinemax, screenings likely made long before I was hip enough to know just how much I should have wanted to see it.

Over the years, I've avoided reading up too much on this one, saving myself for, you know, actually watching it. I just know it's good and that it's "darker." Well, just taking Walter Brennan out of the thing probably makes it at least 50% darker, so I don't know how much that tells
me. Maybe--not a deliberate SPOILER--everyone dies in an A-bomb blast at the end, followed immediately by a Billie Holiday song playing over the credits.

I never saw a definitive reason as to what kept the movie off TCM but let "To Have and Have Not" be a mainstay. Even "The Gun Runners," the later Don Siegel version of the same source material, has made an appearance or two, I'm pretty sure. It matters not now. Catch this rare one tonight!

Since I am feeling particularly caring today, I will alert readers in the Greater Metropolitan D.C. area that Penn State football preview magazines are appearing at Wegman's. I've already snapped up 3 of them. It's nice to see that the top program in the game is well represented throughout the Mid-Atlantic region, and at the best supermarket in the area, no less. Pick up your copies and get pumped up for some college football.

This Week in DVD

2011-08-04T13:00:00.001-04:00

Soul Surfer: If I'm not mistaken, this inspirational saga of courage, determination, and overcoming adversity was originally known as its alternate title, "Whoa, It's That Chick Who
Totally Lost Her Arm, Dude."

Rio: I had Peter Allen's song "I Go to Rio" in my head for about 4 consecutive months until this movie came out. Then I got it out of my head again. Now the DVD comes out. Grr....

Last Night: Wait, this came out in May? Pretty sad when the listed box office return is .1 million. No, not a million bucks, but .1 million. Limited theatrical release, shall we say.

But this movie stars Keira Knightley, Eva Mendes, Sam Worthington, even Griffin Dunne...and some dude named Guillaume Canet who gets his smiling mug above the title. I bet when this one showed up DOA, everyone blamed him. "It was a good cast except for 'and Guillaume Canet.'
HE'S why this flopped."

The Perfect Game: Synopsis says "Ragtag Mexican baseball team dreams of World Series." I don't think a movie has been made about a sports team that WASN'T "ragtag" since "Pride of the Yankees."

Quarantine 2: Terminal: Because there were so many unresolved questions from the first one. (That's an ancient joke about sequels, I know, but it never gets "old" old.)

Cougar Hunting: This movie sounds terrible, but it stars Vanessa Angel and Lara Flynn Boyle, presumably as cougars. Speaking of old...I feel old.

Everwood Season 4 and Complete Seasons 1-4: If they ever make one of those XXX parodies of this show, it should be called "This Ain't Everwood...But Then Again, It Is!"

Minnesota Twins 1991 World Series: This actually streets this week, not last week as I believed, and note that I do the honorable thing and admit my mistake rather than
cut and paste that entry. [CUE INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Gamera Collection: 4 movies long thought unclearable for video arrive in a nifty box set. This title reflects the new reality of Netflix. Instead of complaining about why the company isn't stocking these discs, I'm just hoping they show up on Instant Watching before they get yanked from circulation.

Antenna TV's new schedule

2011-08-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

Sitcoms Online posted Antenna TV's fall schedule last week, and it's somewhat disappointing news for classic TV fans. "Farmer's Daughter" is still a no-go, and while I shouldn't be surprised after the revelations that Sony's masters were supposedly in subpar shape and couldn't be
converted to airable versions for whatever reason, I had held out some hope that maybe we'd get a surprise on that front.

Another one of the programs announced before Antenna's launch, the 1950s anthology "Ford Theatre" is also absent from this new schedule. What is more worrying to me is
that Sitcoms Online, which updated us eariler in the year on the progress of the missing Sony shows, doesn't even mention this one in its report. It's getting easier to assume this will meet the same fate as "Farmer's Daughter."

Now, Pavan Badal of the site says there may be more news about Antenna in the next few weeks, and maybe it's good, but as much as I love "Burns and Allen" and as much as I
loved "Hazel" (still do, but it's been through its episodes twice already), the two rare shows I was most eagerly anticipating remain absent.

On the bright side, many classic TV lovers will be happy that the sitcom schedule is expanding and the movie load is decreasing a bit. Plus it's nice that through some maneuvering here and there, Antenna is able to add new series without getting rid of existing ones.

Yet I still want to see more rarities. And can someone do something about the weekend schedules? I have no problem with "Benny Hill" and the Three Stooges, but they take up
a LOT of programming slots on Friday and Saturday nights.

3 things I had forgotten about "Thriller"

2011-08-02T08:00:00.001-04:00

Watching a bit of puffery about Michael Jackson recently made me think about "Thriller," not an album I listen to all the way through today but one I sure as hell loved in the eighties. Hey, everybody loved it back in the eighties. In 2011, a few details about the classic stand
out, things which may not be well known today:

1) The album came out in 1982. That's right, 1982. Seeing this fact somehow surprises me every time because I can remember the LP being very much a big deal in my circles well into 1984. There are a few albums today that sustain interest and stay relevant for several years, but not to the extent of a "Thriller."

2) It only has 9 songs. That seems a bit thin, doesn't it? Especially when one of them is "The Lady in My Life," which I inexplicably told a grade-school buddy of mine I liked when he incredulously demanded clarification after I said I liked the whole album.

"Even the last one? That slow song at the end?"
[Me nodding my head]

Sure, the album has massive hits like "Beat It" and "Billie Jean," but it also counts among its 9 tracks that weak closer and another Rod Temperton-penned song (to be fair, the guy is the credited writer of the title track, too), "Baby Be Mine," that didn't tear up the world.

That's over 20% of the album as filler, and it leaves you with 7 notable cuts. Doesn't it seem odd today that such a memorable, long-lived album had "only" 9 songs total and 7 that people remember? I'm not denigrating "Thriller," mind you, but pointing out that my perception would be that such a huge album of that era had at least a dozen or so standout tunes out of, say, 15 songs in all.

3) The lead single was...: I totally forgot this one. You know what the first released single off "Thriller" was? It wasn't the title cut. "Billie Jean"? Nope. Nor was it "Beat It." I would have guessed "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'." I would have been wrong.

It was in fact the Jacko/McCartney duet "The Girl Is Mine," which "only" hit number two on the pop charts and doesn't hold up well today as much more than a novelty, partly because a concept that was tongue in cheek even then--Michael and Macca fighting over a woman--is downright surreal today.

Yet I do remember the ditty being much more significant at the time, though it was more a mainstay of lite-FM and MOR radio than it was a pioneering big-tent single like "Billie Jean." Compared to that hit and the energetic, vital "Beat It," "The Girl Is Mine" seems quaint today,
and it boggles the modern mind that it and not one of the other classics on the album became "Thriller's" debut single.

Perhaps the starpower of Paul McCartney made this song an irresistible lure for radio, perhaps Jacko himself really loved it--I don't know the reason for the strategy, but it does make one wonder how a song best known for Macca announcing he's a lover, not a fighter, became the
premiere single off the biggest pop album of all time.

My wife reads "People" so you don't have to

2011-08-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Folks, I have accidentally read some issues of "People" magazine my wife left laying around before, but the July 18 issue was a real doozy. Let's hit some of the highlights in order:

On page 22, we get the requisite Jen/Justin update. Yes, Aniston and Theroux are "going strong!" This only pages after a pic of Aniston at an event accompanied by the caption, "You call THIS horrible?" Oh, and the "freshly shaven" Theroux, according to a source, "seemed to fit in perfectly with Aniston's close-knit crew" during a night on the town. Do I hear wedding bells?

Page 47 brings an odd blurb about the new La Toya Jackson tome, "Starting Over." The mag writes, "Michael's big sister shares memories and unconvincing theories about his death. Includes fun family photos." Huh? Talk about a tone shift. This is all there is about the book. So is that a thumb up or down? And we know the bit about the fun family photos is not an ironic juxtaposition but just "People's" own awkward juxtaposition because of the lack of an ! at the end.

On page 51, the books section continues with a piece on Keanu Reeves' new poetry book. No comment necessary.

On page 78 is a profile of two supporting characters from "Real Housewives of New Jersey"--two supporting characters. You know, I mention this in case you think the magazine has been too literary to this point.

Investigation Discovery takes out a full-page ad to promote a show titled "Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?" Go get 'em, Investigation Discovery!

Christina Hendricks is the subject of the Beauty Watch profile near the end. The best thing about this feature, of course, is that not only do we get her beauty tips and favorite things, but we get brand names and info about where to buy them! What a public service.

On the back cover is a "Project Runway" ad featuring a naked Heidi Klum. OK, this page is actually pretty good.

I can't wait to see if the July 25 issue is loaded with as much useful info as this one!

Brooks on Books: Crime Fiction

2011-07-31T15:19:00.001-04:00

Been reading some good crime novels recently. Like to hear about it? OK, here it go:

Friends of Eddie Coyle: Normally I find the book superior to the film, but in this case, and I may be biased from having seen it first, the 1973 movie may well provide a richer experience.

One of the best things about the quintessentially seventies movie "Coyle," directed by Peter Yates and starring an excellent Robert Mitchum, is its atmosphere. The bleak, cold, working-class Boston of the book is made all the more vivid by seeing it on screen. Plus the screenplay adapts the novel so well, there isn't a lot left to discover when you go back and read George Higgins' novel. And, hey...Mitchum.

Don't get me wrong about the novel. The dialogue is great, and the story is compelling, but this is one of those times (like pretty much every time) I wish I had read the book first, then seen the film, and I may have had more enjoyment from both.

The Seventh by Richard Stark: This is actually the sixth of Stark's series of "Parker" novels. Ha! Oh, Stark/Westlake, you cheeky monkey!

It's another stellar read, with the title referring to a share of a group heist in which Parker participates. The book shows the aftermath, and Stark includes some nice twists and aspects of Parker's world that haven't been seen yet in the series.

The only thing that irritates me is that something like the next 6 or 7 volumes are not available from my liberry. What am I supposed to do, go BUY the books? I mean, they're great and all, but they're all really fast reads for the price that the new trades fetch.

Cotton Comes to Harlem by Chester Himes: OK, I need to read some more Himes because this is a great one. There are more in the Grave Digger and Coffin Ed series about two Harlem police detectives--including multiple installments prior to this one--and I look forward to getting back into the universe.

Himes succeeds in creating the mid-20th century Harlem and putting you right in there, as well as instilling race into the crime fiction genre without forcing it or sacrificing the narrative. Yeah, there's a lot in here about whites and blacks and how their worlds interact, but there's also an exciting crime story with gripping action and fascinating characters.

One thing that stands out is the frequent--nay, the constant use of the word "mother-raping." I assume that in 1965, even an adult-targeted novel couldn't use the genuine Big Kahuna of swear words every other paragraph, but, boy, is this distracting.

I mean, yeah, it gets the job done, but it looks so odd that it's hard to focus on the content. Part of it is the hyphen, which just sticks out on the page like it's taunting you because you the reader and the author aren't collectively mature enough to handle the REAL word.

Was the "MF" word hyphenated back then? No self-respecting Richard Pryor wannabe would write it that way now, right? That thing is one word solid or no word at all. But 1965 was a different, more innocent time.

Don't let that one euphemism make you think the grittiness of the book is compromised, though. Well, I mean, it is, but not in a way that diminishes its quality...too mother-rapin' much, anyway.

Norm Crosby, I'm disappointed in you

2011-07-30T16:00:00.000-04:00

Warning: This post will reveal the identity of the surprise guest on Sunday night's second episode of "The Comedy Shop" on RTV. I take it as a given that all of you are watching, of course, but I don't take it as a given that you have all seen it. Many viewers no doubt like to savor their "Comedy Shop" episodes, perhaps saving them for the end of the week.

'The Comedy Shop" is maybe the cheesiest oddball addition to the new-look RTV. It's an odd blend of standup, kitsch, and pop culture time capsule, and I'm hooked.

You get a beautiful Super Seventies set and theme song, and one of comedian Norm Crosby's "best friends" opens the show. Then Norm does a few jokes, and the rest of the half hour is comedians coming out and doing something like 3-minute sets. Reaction shots show the crowd in stitches even when (maybe especially when) whatever is on stage isn't all that uproarious.

This tells you all you need to know about the series: RTV has aired a total of maybe 8 episodes. The Unknown Comic has already been in two of them.

My favorite part of the show comes near the end when it's time to introduce the special surprise guest. "The Comedy Shop" even steals the "enter through a door" part of this gimmick from "The Dean Martin Show" despite not having a semblance of any set other than the comedy stage, so you get a phony door just so the Big Stars can make their grand entrance and introduce the final comedian.

Now, say what you will about Norm Crosby and his malapropism, but the guy sells the hell out of every aspect of the show. Every cut to him in the wings shows him laughing enthusiastically or giving a thumbs up to whoever is out there. But he really shines when the surprise guest arrives. Then Norm is a reliable hysterical presence on camera, "breaking up" at the banter from the mystery big shot.

The best moment of Crosby's exuberance is that moment when he opens the door and shouts out the name of the celebrity. "Jim Nabors!" "Hey, Ed McMahon!" Each guest gets a wild reaction. When Joey Bishop walked through the door, Norm acted like John F Kennedy had come back from the dead and joined him on the stage.

This is why Norm let me down last week, though: An icon of that era strode through the doorway, a man who deserved a colossal Crosby reaction, a sure Cultureshark Hall of Famer when I establish it (I'm eying a prime piece of real estate for it, but, you know, this damned economy), and Norm was uncharacteristically low-key.

How could Norm Crosby not sell the spectacular entrance of another Norm, for crying out loud? That's right, the man who got the unwarranted tepid response was the great Norman Fell.

I'll be watching tomorrow night, Norm Crosby of 40 years ago--I'll always be watching "The Comedy Shop"--and if a celebrity of similar stature arrives on the stage, I'll be looking for your standard over-the-top reaction. It's too late for Norman Fell, but it's not too late for another legend to get the kind of acclaim he deserves.

This Month in DVD

2011-07-29T08:00:00.001-04:00

Rango: Damned if I don't still keep thinking it's the Geico Gecko. I'll bet they get that a lot. It's worse than the whole Dylan McDermott/Dermot Mulroney thing. Because they're slimy. The lizards, that is.

The Lincoln Lawyer: I'm hearing a lot of good things about this legal thriller. Maybe I'll give it a shot. And before you say it, let me address the obvious question about the title: It comes from the fact that he works out of his Lincoln CAR. It has absolutely nothing to do with Pittsburgh Pirates pitching prospect Brad Lincoln.

Arthur: Those of you who are kind of hiding out a bit till this whole Russell Brand thing blows over...it's almost safe to come back.

Insidious: Young parents fear for the family's well-being upon discovering their child is encountering dark spirits. I had the same feeling when I changed a certain diaper the other day. There had to be something otherworldly going on down there.

Limitless: Can you imagine the possibilities if you had a drug that unlocked the full potential of your brain, kind of of like what Bradley Cooper gets here? Wow. I know for one thing, I'd really plow through those "Route 66" DVDs I've been meaning to watch. I mean THE WHOLE SERIES.

Take Me Home Tonight: Hey, remember the 1980s? What's that? You never had a chance to forget them? Well, maybe you won't be excited by this Topher Grace (Hey, remember Topher Grace?) comedy. Sadly, I don't think it did well enough to warrant the inevitably titled sequel, "I Wanna Go Back."

Source Code: I don't know if I've ever heard a less exciting title for a thriller. I can think of only one phrase less captivating: "Jake Gyllenhaal in Source Code"

Honeymooners Best ofs: MPI issues a few highlight discs from the various incarnations of Lost Episodes. OK, you're milking it, fine, fine. Now that the greatest hits are out of the way, can we go back and do a definitive Lost Episodes collection?
UPDATE: Good buddy and Friend of the Site Ivan from TDOY tipped me off that a Complete Restored Series is on the way, and while it looks expensive as hell, the packaging indicates there could be significant as-yet-unreleased material on the set. I know what I'm putting atop my Xmas list.

(Yeah, I know I could have edited the post instead of putting in the cheesy UPDATE, but, come on, you got to love the drama of the cheesy UPDATE.)

(By the way, you got to love MPI for giving people that bought the best of disc mere days to enjoy it before unleashing the massive double dip.)

Dynasty Season 5: I don't know not the season when Linda Evans and Joan Collins fought in the pond. And that's about all I can contribute to this item.

Mannix Season 5: Mannix rules! After rediscovering it on DVD, I'm convinced this was one of the great crime shows of the era. Now put it on Netflix, CBS, so I don't have to actually buy it.

ER Season 15: 15 Seasons! And at least, like, 5 or 6 of them were really good. OK, each time an "ER" set comes out, I have to marvel at the show's longevity. Back to our list.

Dennis the Menace Season 2: I'm almost more surprised to see a second season of "Dennis"--after all, Warner Brothers seems kind of "pot committed" to cranking out the "ER" discs--but I'm glad Shout is sticking with "Dennis," with the third season already in the works.

Skiddoo: I remember reading Mark Evanier's hilarious posts on this legendary Otto Preminger flop and being deperate to see it, even with Evanier's warnings. I mean, any movie with Groucho and Gleason has to be worth seeing, right? Then I saw the movie on TCM, and I thought, wow, it was much better reading about it in Mark Evanier's hilarious posts. But "Skiddoo" is a film that should be on DVD if only...if only...well, it just should be on DVD, that's all.

Hobo with a Shotgun: How did this Rutger Hauer flick not become a "Snakes on a Plane"-type cult favorite? I'd argue this title is at least as good as, maybe even better a title, and isn't that really what it's all about--cool-sounding titles?

2011 NBA Champions Dallas Mavericks: For knocking off the Lakers AND the Heat in the same postseason, this team really ought to be hailed as national heroes.

Boston Bruins: 2011 Stanley Cup Champions: Uh, yeah, hockey had a playoffs, too.

Minnesota Twins 1991 World Series: The thing that comes to mind when I see this DVD collection is JACK MORRIS, and I think it in my best Jack Buck voice. Try it at home: JACK MORRIS.

(I also think about how the Pirates had a great team in '91 that could well have been in that Series, but they lost in heartbreaking fashion in the NLCS to the Braves, a defeat that's totally overshadowed by the even MORE heartbreaking NLCS loss to the Braves the next year. But why bring everyone down?)

Making of the President: the 1960s: I was thinking of getting this until I read a review in which some jerk gave away the ending to all 3 elections.

TNT, you know drama, but not the way to my heart

2011-07-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

In the words of Ralph Kramden, "Don't steam me, Alice, because I'm already steamed." It's a week or so after the announcement, and I'm still peeved that TNT We Know Drama
canceled "Men of a Certain Age." What, just because people weren't watching it? Well, they SHOULD have been. That ought to count for something. Especially when it's not my money putting it on the air.

I'm just getting worn down in general by so many of my favorite shows getting canned way before their time. I'm still miffed about "Terriers" not catching on. And "Sports Show with Norm MacDonald" is a fresh loss that's still stinging. Let's face it, it's not just about the networks, but it's about the American public, too, which is supporting too much crap while ingoring some of
the good stuff. I could mention those lousier shows by name here, but I won't because I don't want to offend anyone, and besides, I'm going to name them in a paragraph or two, anyway.

But since I'm not gonna go around and harangue the American public, at least not until gas prices come down a lot more, I find it easier to blame the networks that wrong me. I'm starting with you, TNT We Know Drama.

From this day forward, I refuse to watch any of the following shows that air on TNT We Know Drama:

The Closer, Hawthorne, Rizzoli and Isles, Franklin and
Bash, Memphis Beat, Southland, and reruns of Angel.

Don't let the fact that I don't currently watch any of these programs diminish the impact of the boycott.

(I'm gonna keep watching Falling Skies" because it was on my DVR before "Men of a Certain Age" got the axe. Besides, Mrs. Shark likes it, and it's something we can watch together. But I'm still steamed.)

Lost Treasures of Yore #2: The lost art of an announcer reading the credits

2011-07-25T08:00:00.001-04:00

What I'd really like to see is something that used to occur over the end credits of many programs. I know, I know, we hardly SEE end credits anymore, so this is a long shot, but the thing of which I think is so quaint, it would never be implemented today, anyway, so why let anything stop me?

I love watching an old TV show's credits roll when all of a sudden an announcer tells you, "So and so was played by so and so," and then rattles off a few more names. It cracks me up because for one, would it have killed them to put an extra card or two on screen with those names? Also, it just sounds totally old-fashioned for some reason, especially when the verbiage is like that on "Sgt. Bilko": "The part of the doctor was played by so and so, and the part of the general was played by so and so." (Incidentally, we could also use a good character actor like so and so these days).

It conjures up an image of a middle-aged couple sitting in front of the Philco watching their stories, and Mother looks up from her knitting at the end of the show and asks, "I wonder who played the part of the doctor?" And Pa says, "Shh, mother! Maybe he'll tell us in a minute if you can shut your goldurned trap!"

On "Burns and Allen," they do this with simpler language: "Appearing on tonight's show were so and so as so and so..." It sounds less archaic than inserting the phrase "the part," but it still sounds old-school, and old-school in an especially pleasing manner.

Maybe they didn't have the money to spring for the extra credits in those days, or maybe they did everything so quickly and cast things at the last minute so often that they didn't have time. Whatever the reason, I think the announcer reading off the guest stars at the end of the program is a cool relic of old television and one that I'd like to hear again.

In fact, I'd like to hear it in real life. For instance, it would be useful if, when you exited a party at the end of an evening, an unseen announcer declared, "The man with the contacts in marketing was Mitchell Davis. The woman in the green dress was Monica Edleman."

Brooks on Books: Baseball doubleheader again

2011-07-24T08:00:00.001-04:00

I enjoyed two recent baseball books featuring excellent concepts: "The Baseball Codes" by Jason Turbow with Michael Duca is an excellent look at the myriad unwritten rules in the sport, and I recommend it with reservation. Kostya Kennedy's "56: Joe DiMaggio and the Last Magic Number in Sports" is a gripping biography of both Joe D. himself and the Yankee Clipper's legendary 56-game hitting streak in 1941, but I have some concerns with it.

"Codes" covers stuff like when it is considered "appropriate" to charge the mound, when it is acceptable for other players to join in the fracas, and many other points of etiquette and custom not dealing with fighting as well. There is a lot of material about cheating in all its forms and even significant discussion about when it's "OK" to essentially stop trying too hard, or in other words, how small a lead can be before you have to stop doing things like stealing bases.

Turbow and Duca don't pass judgment but pass along what their research tells them. They use numerous examples to illustrate these codes of conduct and supplement them with extensive interviews and lots of quotes, many on the record. Looking at the big picture, two things out: Players themselves, even teammates, often can't even come to a consensus on what the unwritten rules really are; and partly because of that first factor, baseball players frequently come off as petty when they criticize others for perceived slights or offenses against the game.

It's an excellent book with a great flow, one that offers solid structure and clarity while letting the players' voices stand out. This is an excellent read, and maybe it's because I expected little, but it's one of the most entertaining sports volumes I've read lately.

I'm not sure that all the anecdotes in "Codes" are authentic, but at least they come from research and/or interviews, and the authors provide extensive notes on their work and quote people within the text. Kennedy takes a more troubling approach in "56."

On one hand, his ambition is admirable, as he paints vivid portraits of New York in 1941, with rich details and numerous quotes of both everyday citizens and the athletes and prominent figures in the narrative. But when I dug into it, I wondered how he was getting such detail. Clearly he interviewed people like Mario Cuomo and Gay Talese for their reminisces about what DiMaggio and the Streak meant to them and their contemporaries. But Joe D. and teammate and close friend Lefty Gomez (a key figure in the story) are dead, and one wonders where Kennedy gets all their direct quotes and thoughts. Is he drawing from others' reportage, using secondary sources, or recreating conversations based on what he thinks happened? I don't know, because Kennedy doesn't tell us. I kept expecting him to address this at some point, preferably up front but at least in a section in the back, but unless I missed it, there is no explanation in the book. Dayn Perry's Reggie Jackson bio at least featured a message from the author relating his thought process as to why and how he included dialogue he imagined.

So I had doubts in the back of my mind while reading "56." Another area Kennedy's ambition may overwhelm his book is the writing style, which seems to be aiming for something more literary than your standard sports history, but sometimes results in some awkward prose. I should know. The reader who borrowed the book from the library before me included some "helpful" underlinings and notes in the margins to highlight some of it.

OK, so I have issues with the book. But "56" remains a compelling read. The concept is a great one: Take us through that 1941 season, particularly the streak, and along the way tell the often-intimate story of the great ballplayer, mixing in details about life as a baseball fan in the era through the stories of various fans. There are glimpses of the media coverage and the effect of the streak on the rest of the Yanks and the rest of the major leagues. Kennedy also writes about other notable streaks, particularly Pete Rose's 44-gamer in 1978. There is a less-effective section on statistical analysis as it pertains to hitting streaks, but the author wisely sticks it at the end.

If you can put aside quibbles with some passages and the larger concern of sourcing--and I could enough to get into it--"56" is an exciting story. Kennedy judiciously chooses which games and moments to highlight and which one to cover more briefly, but overall he provides a detailed account of the 56 games.

There are interesting moments as the streak builds and DiMaggio approaches previous records. Pressure mounts not just on Joltin' Joe but on his teammates, who face issues like whether to play for the win in a tight game or play to prolong the game or inning so Joe can get another at-bat and chance to extend the streak. There is also pressure on the official scorers and even opposing pitchers and managers--Is it OK to take the bat out of his hands if he's 0 for 3 and walk him (this is the kind of thing covered in "The Baseball Codes")? Is it more honorable to go after him and pitch to him, even if it contradicts accepted strategy?

Kennedy describes these pressures well and creates a narrative that remains suspenseful even though you know from the title of the book, at the very least, what happens. I wish he were a little more upfront about his approach--or better yet, didn't use that approach because the story didn't require it--and maybe a bit more restrained with his writing, but I do like "56."

Amy Winehouse

2011-07-23T15:07:00.003-04:00

Amy Winehouse is dead at 27, and the fact that no one is surprised maybe ought to be a message to all of us--not just the obvious "drugs are terrible" message, but perhaps something about the way we deal with celebrity.

I think that not everyone, maybe not a majority, maybe not even anywhere close to a majority, but a certain number of music fans, writers, and industry types enabled her to some extent. Did we take her problems seriously enough? The woman was an obvious train wreck, but did we do enough to help her instead of making winking comments about "going to Rehab" or laughing outright at her? Was continuing to pay for her music or especially paying to see her at a live performance sending a tacit message that her lifestyle was "OK"?

Was it anybody's business? Was it her job to make music and our job to listen to it no matter in what condition she was? Are we gonna take Lindsay Lohan's problems more seriously now?

I don't know. I'm just asking questions, and I don't pretend that it's helpful, either. But I can't help but feel that something could have been done differently when a woman everyone knew was on the road to an early death actually wound up fulfilling that horrible destiny when she was in the public eye the entire time.

This week in Netflix Instant Watching

2011-07-23T08:00:00.001-04:00

I'll spare you an extended rant about the announced price increase Netflix is inflicting on us in September. The hike is galling considering the company raised prices at the end of last year, but what really irritates me is the elimination of my current membership option and, worse, the gradual phasing out of DVD and especially lack of new catalog releases. I'm watching as many discs as I can the rest of the summer, as come September, I'll likely be going to streaming only, just as Netflix wants me to, and hoping that the content on that side of it continues to expand.

I understand that Netflix is increasing rates at least partly due to rising costs of programming, both current and anticipated, but I don't like the feeling that I am subsidizing the price of a whole lot of programming I don't care about. You know what that reminds me of? Cable.

Anyway, there were a few notable additions to the Instant Watching selection this week, titles I want to highlight because of what larger things they may tell us.

A pair of interesting selections from Shout Factory arrived a few days ago. The great 1990s UPN (and later Adult Swim staple) cartoon series "Home Movies" is now available for streaming. I am not going to make a huge deal out of this now because I have a vague recollection of the show being available before, perhaps when I wasn't yet paying attention to streaming video. But it's a great show and a nice thing to have around as an option.

Far more interesting at this time is the addition of "Dennis the Menace" season 1, the DVD set of which also came out from Shout Factory, and not too long ago, I'll add. It's always nice to see classic TV on DVD product make its way to Netflix streaming, and the presence of this particular licensed property, assuming it's Shout responsible, may bode well.

We know from a recent news amount that Leave It to Beaver, another high-profile classic TV Shout DVD release, is on its way to Instant Watching, but that's from a deal with Universal. Does the presence of "Dennis the Menace," along with series like "Home Movies" and "Larry Sanders," prefigure more old TV shows?

I'd particularly like to see some of those series that Shout has booted to its direct (i.e. more expensive) Shout Select program. Could we see "Room 222" or "Paper Chase"? Does Shout even have the rights to license them to Netflix? Or how about the as-yet-unreleased seasons of those classic TV series? It's not like Fox is doing anything with them.

Come to think of it, Netflix also has some kind of library deal with Fox, but so far it's yielded mostly recent shows, with "X-Files" one that's on the way. When you really get into this stuff, it's hard to keep it all straight.

Another recent addition to Netflix streaming is a cut-down version of WWE's 3-disc "Best of Monday Nitro." It's a bummer the whole thing isn't up there, but WWE has been providing the documentary portions of its video releases, not the whole match content, so it's not surprising that the Netflix version is shorter. But I find this notable because the DVD just came out. It's cool that the WWE product is hitting Netflix fairly quickly...but of course, it's not so cool that it's abridged, and it's really not cool that Netflix is not bothering to stock the actual discs of these releases.

With the DVD acquisitions so far down, it's really important that Netflix put its money where its mouth is, or more accurately put its money where OUR money is, and continue to add exciting and useful new streaming content. I realize the WWE videos may appeal to a limited audience, but that's like icing on the cake to me. What I really want to see is the expansion of the classic TV selection, and hopefully the first season of "Dennis the Menace" is not an exception but an example of many more to come via Shout Factory or other outlets.

Vault of Coolness: I'll trade you two Poison cards for one of these

2011-07-22T09:00:00.000-04:00

I don't remember much about this old Pro Set series of music cards, but I know I need to find more of my old ones after digging up this one:

And here's a look at the back:

I don't know what it says about me that while I don't even like Ratt, I was as excited to find this card in a box of old cards as I was to rediscover my George Brett and Robin Yount rookie cards.

True Confessions: I went the whole movie mixing them up...

2011-07-20T10:09:00.002-04:00

I was watching the 1999 thriller "Best Laid Plans," an early Reese Witherspoon joint, the other day and thinking, "Wow, that Craig Sheffer sure does play a smarmy SOB to perfection." I couldn't get over how the guy so convincingly played an a-hole all the time. "When it needs to cast someone as a smug jerk, Hollywood makes sure it has Craig Sheffer's agent in the Rolodex," I said.

Only one problem with my musings: It wasn't Craig Sheffer.

The whole movie, I was thinking the prick I was watching on screen was played by Craig Sheffer, when in fact it was Josh Brolin. I didn't realize this until the credits rolled.

OK, so it wasn't Craig Sheffer...that time. At least that's what the credits told me. Can we be sure it WAS Josh Brolin in that movie? Hey, Hollywood is full of trickery and hocus pocus and CGI. Despite pretty solid evidence--you know, the credits--I'm still not 100% convinced it was Josh Brolin I saw in "Best Laid Plans."

But if that was him, damn, Josh Brolin does a good Craig Sheffer.

The Wonderful World of TCM: Drive-in double feature with Bobby Osbo

2011-07-18T20:00:00.001-04:00

Perhaps the greatest pleasure to be had from June's drive-in film festival on The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind was witnessing the esteemed (soon to be going on a brief sabbatical; boy, will we miss him) host Bobby Osbo discuss these B-movies.

Before the screening of 1957's "The Giant Claw" Osborne couldn't conceal his "Yep, this movie's crap," grin during his remarks, and really why should he? He pretty much said that the movie was best known for its goofy monster and that sometimes people might wonder about the appeal of this kind of flick...or something like that. Really, I wouldn't have taken offense had he just called it a piece of garbage. I watched the thing, and while it had its moments, those moments consisted of me laughing at the monster like everyone else.

A much better effort was "The Tarantula" (1955), which, though it had a pretty slow build (as many of those old monster movies seem to, come to think) featured some decent acting and story. However, I thought the picture was a tad on the dark side. I don't mean the movie was dark like, say, "Seven," but rather the print looked a bit darker than maybe it should have. It resembled what you'd get back in the day when you tried to dub a VHS that was Macrovision-protected, not that I ever did so.

My mind ran wild with the scenario of Turner Classic actually dubbing a DVD and somehow putting the result on the air; better still, Bobby Osbo explaining it to the viewers:

"Unfortunately, Universal wouldn't play ball with us and provide decent source material for a fair license fee, so we took matters into our own hands and burned a copy of their recent commercial DVD. The result is what you're about to see. If anyone at Universal has a problem with this, they're encouraged to e-mail our complaints department at BenMank@tcm.com. Here, then, from 1955, directed by Jack Arnold..."

If only! I DID think the movie looked a little murky, though...

Brooks on Books: "All My Best Friends" (1989) by George Burns

2011-07-17T21:00:00.000-04:00

I'm on a George Burns kick these days, what with Antenna TV running two episodes of "Burns and Allen" each day. I've also been checking out the guy on various DVDs, and I even read this book a few weeks ago. It's not a straight memoir, and nor doesn't he talk a lot about his long personal and professional relationship with Gracie Allen (he covered that in another book), but rather a sort of personal journey through the entertainment business. Burns' informal history of showbiz centers on his own experiences and those of his friends, plus the many stories he heard, collected, or just made up over the years. It's a funny, often insightful book.

I have to mention the "collaborator" of this volume, though, co-author David Fisher. Burns himself jokes about how impressive his own literary output is considering his lack of education, but he doesn't really mention Fisher till the acknowledgements. The book is written as a long, informal chat from Burns to the reader, complete with references to what the reader must be thinking or mock reactions to laughs or lack thereof. But Fisher must have had a strong part in the book. After all, as I read "All My Best Friends" and took in the frequent self-referential jokes, the running gags, and the casual style, I thought of Ed McMahon's "When Television Was Young," another entertaining informal showbiz history, one I wrote about, a book co-written by...David Fisher!

Yeah, there's a lot of shtick in "All My Best Friends," but it's good stuff. You read about vaudeville, radio, television, and a little about movies, plus the lifestyles of comedians of the era. For example, Burns devotes sections to money, death, love, and other topics, and he weaves those into an account of his own career and the various media in which he starred.

Though it's a memoir, the title is apt because Burns spends most pages talking about his friends and maybe a few enemies. Reading this book in 2011 gives you more exposure to Al Jolson, Eddie Cantor, and Georgie Jessel than you'd expect to get...well, just about anywhere in 2011. Even in 1989, that must have seemed quaint, but I welcomed the opportunity to read about those lesser-known giants of bygone days.

Of course Burns' dear friend Jack Benny comes up early and often, and the affection is evident. Other luminaries who are talked about frequently include Groucho Marx, Jimmy Durante, Ed Wynn, and even the likes of Fannie Brice and Sophie Tucker. The book is driven by the many anecdotes, and if Burns slyly admits that many of them may not be true, he still creates a vivid picture of show business and its top personalities.

The book isn't a gossipfest, but Burns is pretty candid. One guy he clearly dislikes is Frank Fay, an unpleasant man who, Burns reminds us, smacked around Barbara Stanwyck among other disreputable deeds. He has fond memories of Groucho, but he describes the difficulty of dealing with his prickly personality (and he also has a great running joke about a line Groucho used on him over and over, almost to the point of driving Burns crazy). Other themes like Jolson's ego and Jessel's womanizing are general enough to come off as relatively harmless, especially so many years after the fact.

I loved "All My Best Friends," but some readers might be annoyed by the constant jokes and the gimmicks like pretending within the text to do impersonations. If a reader is annoyed by classic showbiz shtick, then that reader shouldn't read a showbiz book by George Burns! I think Burns fans and lovers of the industry will get a big kick out of this one, and the personal detail and anecdotes ensure that even the most hardcore pop culture historian should learn a few things.

Pro wrestling: The intersection of absurdity and tragedy

2011-07-16T15:58:00.002-04:00

The world of professional wrestling is often as sleazy and ridiculous as just about any realm of entertainment around, but this story, which I saw at the excellent Cageside Seats, is remarkable. The author of the post is wise enough to pretty much let the story speak for itself, and I will do the same by linking to this Tampabay.com article about a debacle of a recent "tribute show" for "Macho Man" Randy Savage. The account of the memorial offers a combination of "sad" and "funny" in a combination more potent than anything since they heyday of "Punky Brewster."

Allow me to just highlight my "favorite" part of the story, a report on the bungling of the customary 10-bell salute given at ringside for dead wrestlers:

There was no sound system, no bell to ring. In honor of the Macho Man, Puglia held marginally observed moments of silence, repeating "ding" into the microphone.

I'm ashamed for laughing at this--well, not for laughing at this, but for laughing so much at this--but I'm unable to shake the vivid image of a grown man attempting to simulate a timekeeper's bell into a house microphone, and not doing it Michael Winslow style, mind you, but just hoping the onomatopoeia itself will suffice to form a "solemn tribute" to the deceased.

Is there video of this? Only the affection the crowd must have had for the late Macho Man could have prevented the building from erupting into convulsive collective laughter. And while convulsive collective laughter might have its place at a memorial show in certain circumstances, I don't think it's the intended result in this one.

It's easy to sit back and chuckle at the pathetic nature of the event, but the whole thing becomes more sinister when you read that the organizer misused the names of several charities in promoting the event. This raises the incident from a laughable example of small-time pro wrestling incompetence to the reprehensible.

But I still laugh at the thought of that guy saying "Ding" over and over again.

Vault of Coolness: Aging knuckleballer Phil Neikro

2011-07-14T15:20:00.000-04:00

I get a kick out of this 1973 Phil Neikro Topps baseball card because he looks old here, even though he's likely only 33 at the time of the photo shoot. Was he ever NOT an "aging knuckleballer"?

He looks older than he does on his 1974 and 1975 cards--I know because I just found those in the same place I found this one; why the heck did I stash away so many Phil Niekro cards?--and in fact he looks kind of grumpy, too.

Come to think of it, while I don't wish to cast aspersions on the Hall of Famer, he looks kind of, dare I say, hung over? Maybe that's why he looks old and a little perturbed. If that's the case...cool!

My wife reads "People" so you don't have to: What's really important

2011-07-12T12:07:00.000-04:00

The July 11 issue of "People" Magazine is a solid return to form for the publication because it gets back to its business of delivering information about what really, really MATTERS to its readers. "People" readers, which is really all of us by proxy, it's just that some of us have wives who read it do we don't have to, don't care about high-profile trials or the royals. Well, they care about these things, but it's not the true priority at the top of the list. They don't even care most about Brad and Angelina, except as how it relates to the one thing that really matters to everyone.

Yes, if you read "People" and even the other celebrity rags out there, you KNOW what the most important thing in life is, the single topic most vital to the collective readership, and that is the constant effort to answer the following question:
Is Jennifer Aniston happy?

And of course, those of us who follow these periodicals know that the only way we can even entertain the possibility that Jen is happy is if she is in a satisfying relationship with a hot guy.

Well, the July 11 issue tells us that Jen is crazy for her latest man, Justin Theroux, and the two of them are doing just fine together. In fact, a photo that takes up nearly two whole pages, 55 and 56, shows the delighted couple enjoying life together.

Maybe this'll be the one, we think. Maybe it'll stick. Maybe Jen has finally found a man and can therefore--finally--be happy.

But if Justin isn't the one, we can rest assured "People" will update us on the newest round in poor Jennifer Aniston's never-ending quest to find fulfillment in the form of an attractive male celebrity companion.

Norm McDonald rules the world

2011-07-11T08:00:00.002-04:00

I don't care how low-rated it was or how many people just don't "get" Norm MacDonald, but Comedy Central's recent cancellation of "Sports Show with Norm MacDonald" is a horrible move. I have definitive empirical evidence to support my assertion, too: I love the show.

Hey, as far as I'm concerned, that's enough reason to keep it around. I suppose I can kind of understand why Comedy Central would feel otherwise. I guess I can even comprehend why others don't find the show as funny as I do. It's very minimalist, stripped-down comedy a la Norm's "Weekend Update" segments, with everything done pretty much how you would expect Norm MacDonald to do it. The sports angle was just a nice novelty; "Politics Show" would surely have been funny, but it was cool seeing the Norm style used in an area where we more often get people who think they are funny but shouldn't try to do comedy as opposed to people who are actually funny doing legitimate comedy.

I've had a little mini-self-MacDonald renaissance this year, with "Sports Show" (I'm gonna continue to talk about in present tense because it makes me feel better) ruling the cable world, the recent standup special that also aired on Comedy Central scoring big time (how comforting that someone in the crowd can yell out "O.J.!" and Norm just happens to have some new O.J. material), and my finally seeing "Dirty Work," his underappreciated 1998 flick.

I caught it on pay cable, which is a great place to experience it. Sit back, keep expectations low, and just hope for enough entertainment to add a notch to the "Yeah, it's worth it" column of your "Should I keep these premium channels?" chart.

It's easy to dismiss "Dirty Work." It bombed in its original run, it's barely--barely--an hour and 20 minutes long, and it's directed by Bob Saget. But the premise is a good one--loser discovers he's good at getting revenge on people and starts a business to do the same for others--and the bottom line is it's FUNNY.

I could quote lines or cite specific situations, but it's just a solid comedy, and the half-assed nature of the film actually works for it. The main thing you need to know is that throughout the film, Norm MacDonald sort of tries to act, but he also READS ALL HIS LINES LIKE NORM MacDONALD. And that's funny.

So, yeah, I'm disappointed that "Sports Show" may be no more (keep hope alive--couldn't Versus give it a shot?) but maybe I'll scan the listings for "Dirty Work" again. It's not a classic, but it's the kind of thing I could watch more than once. Norm MacDonald still rules the world.

Missing in Action: The Carol Burnett Show

2011-07-10T14:50:00.003-04:00

I was listening to an NPR interview with Carol Burnett the other day, and she was promoting some book that may or may not be a new one--for all I know, this segment was an "encore presentation" of a 2005 chat--and it made me wonder: Whither "The Carol Burnett Show?"

Is there a more fondly remembered but less seen TV classic around today? Let me mention here that I am not a big fan of the series, but I remember watching it regularly as a kid, when it was on New York TV stations all the time (NOTE: "all the time" may well be an exaggeration based on my distorted kid sense of time), and I enjoyed it here and there. More importantly, I appreciate its place in TV history and respect the love many have for it.

Licensing and legal difficulties reportedly make a comprehensive DVD release of the series impossible, though some compilations and limited direct market video collections have made it through over the years. So if it can't be on DVD, why can't it be on TV?

It just seems odd to me that as visible as Carol Burnett remains to this day, and as many "classic TV" networks are out there now with the launch of Antenna TV and Me-TV supplementing RTV and (let's all hold out noses) TV Land, this show is MIA.

I believe Me-TV in its Chicago incarnation aired the series a while back, but I think the last time the Burnett show was on nationally was a TV Land stint 10 years ago. Did Burnett (and the other owners of the series) yank the show from syndication to boost sales of direct market DVDs? I don't know, but now that the DVD market is fading, perhaps it's time to get the series back out there.

On the Road: I sample Me-TV

2011-07-09T20:00:00.001-04:00

While on the road last weekend, I sampled the local Me-TV station. I had some strong opinions even before ever watching any Me. I love the concept--classic TV around the clock--but I wish the selection were more varied, and I dislike the editing of episodes that is reportedly becoming more widespread throughout the schedule.

Me-TV draws heavily from the CBS-Paramount and the MTM libraries with some other miscellaneous shows sprinkled in. This gives it a star-heavy, iconic lineup of classic favorites. Unfortunately, many of these evergreens are readily available on DVD and/or longtime fixtures of both cable and broadcast syndication. So the good news is, you get a lot of beloved oldies, but the bad news is if you're old enough, you've seen most of them many times over...or at least had the opportunity.

Yet while I would love to see a lineup more loaded with obscurities, I recognize there is a loyal audience for stuff like "I Love Lucy," not everyone has cable, not everyone buys DVDs, et cetera. But, jeez, do we need any outlet to run MASH multiple times a week nowadays? That said, I own all the "Honeymooners" episodes on DVD and don't need to watch possible cut versions with commercials, but it's nice to know it's on there.

I think the best thing about Me-TV is it provides the kind of comfortable presence TV Land used to give its viewers. You can turn it on anytime without risk of encountering George Segal making sex jokes in some horrible modern-day sitcom. I was hanging out with family quite a bit over the holiday weekend, and it was nice to have a channel we could just leave on as background or put it to if we wanted to wind down in between activities or whatever.

Another aspect of Me-TV that reminds me of the old TV Land is its extensive use of in-house promos, many of them with a light touch. I didn't see anything as funny as the old "Cannon" or "Mannix" spots TV Land used to run, but maybe they'll come later. Me-TV does do a good job of putting itself over as a brand and establishing a sense of virtual community with viewers who are looking for a place to watch the old-school shows they love. Me-TV acts like it cars. Whether it really does or not is up in the air; after all, the hacking of programs is a real concern, and if/when the network takes on more ad dollars, we'll likely see a lot less of those promos.

I didn't see a lot of the channel, but I enjoyed an episode of "The Odd Couple" and a little bit of "My Three Sons" and "Family Affair." I didn't even see any of "Honeymooners" or "Bilko," two of my all-time favorites which lurk on the network schedule, but I still found enough to enjoy. These older shows have a place on TV, and it's good to see they're still around. They're not around in my area, but they're around somewhere.

I like that Me-TV organizes the occasional theme or tribute marathon, and I like that there is an assortment of both sitcoms and dramas. Two similar services don't offer this type of lineup right now. When Antenna isn't running movies, it has a heavy focus on sitcoms, and since its recent revamp, RTV is even more drama-oriented than before. I like a classic TV channel to give me some variety, and while game shows, variety shows, and talk shows would be nice, at least Me provides both sitcoms and dramas.

Do I wish Me-TV would dig deeper into the Paramount vaults for shows like "Our Miss Brooks," "The Defenders," or "Ben Casey?" Well, yes and no. Yes because it would be great to see those shows, even in edited form, no because...I don't get this channel. I'd rather see Netflix dig into those vaults and start streaming stuff that isn't on DVD already. But don't get me wrong, Me-TV is pretty good for what it is, and if I had it at Cultureshark Towers, I'd probably park myself in front of the tube and watch it way more often than I should. I just hope it doesn't just coast on its "We're not TV Land" advantage and slowly become...well, TV Land, the home of butchered, overplayed classics, incomprehensible scheduling, and off-putting new programs to offend the tastes and sensibilities of the whole family.

On the Road: Half-Assed Gourmet is grateful for Chik-Fil-A

2011-07-09T14:42:00.005-04:00

I know some people have problems with Chik-Fil-A and its politics and its Christian orientation, but how can you not love its food? Not only that, whatever the corporate ethos is over there, it produces, almost without fail in my experience, well-run, efficient restaurants.

I was on the road last weekend, and, boy, did I appreciate the opportunity to stop at a Chik-Fil-A. See, I believe that this is a franchise that offers consistent quality and a near guarantee for a satisfying fast food experience, unlike a certain other famous franchise which is supposed to offer that consistency (isn't that the point of fast food) but has become more and more spotty in recent years and subject to the individual location. I'd name that other franchise, one which has given me some less than golden experiences lately, but I don't want to get too arch in this post.

The problem is, that other place is everywhere. Chik-Fil-A is not only not everywhere, but it isn't even open Sundays. I remain amazed that in 2011 a major fast food chain leaves as much money on the table as it does by maintaining its "family values" stances and not operating on the seventh day. Good for them. Bad for us if we happen to be traveling on a Sunday.

Here's what this recent visit to a Chik-Fil-A on the road provided that I have not always received when traveling with my family in recent years:

*Decent food, and the actual food that we ordered.
*A clean men's room with a spacious area to change a little one, including a changing table that doesn't threaten to crash to the ground if you open it from the wall and add to it the weight of a baby.
*A clean play area for my older child.
*Friendly and efficient service.

I mean, someone even offered to get us refills while we were sitting at our table, and though we didn't need a second helping of beverage, we took advantage of the offer to get a cup of water we could use to prepare a bottle. Let me tell you, when you are traveling with small children and the various bags and accessories needed to do so, any kind of tableside service that allows you to not get up one time is wonderful.

Needless to say, I walked out of that restaurant happy. The difference between the typical Chik-Fil-A and the typical, well, anything else, is vast enough that I'm tempted to rearrange my future travel schedules to ensure that if we stop for fast food, we have the option to go where we know we're gonna have a stress-free (well, as much as it can be--remember the "traveling with two small children" part) visit.

Vault of Coolness: Magnum P.I.

2011-07-06T22:00:00.003-04:00

I'm a bit drained from solving the problems of RTV yesterday, so this post is light on words and heavy on visual coolness.

Seeing as how I never watched much "Magnum" as a child, the fact that I own a handful of trading cards from the show is yet another piece of evidence that I would collect just about anything, especially if it were a small piece of cardboard.

Get a load of this dull, unflattering photograph on this one. You mean to tell me someone thought this was one of the best 22 cards possible for the set?

Here's the back of the card. Surely the scintillating text will justify the existence of this card #13 of 22, right?

You know, the artwork on the back is much cooler than the photography on the front. They should have based the whole set on those illustrations.

So RTV has made a few boo-boos--What SHOULD it do?

2011-07-05T19:57:00.002-04:00

So what can RTV do? If I'm so smart and so eager to criticize the new direction, am I also willing to provide some solutions?

Not unless I get paid, straight-up P-A-I-D, baby. I ain't about to reveal my genius ideas for free.
No, who am I kidding? I wouldn't be blogging if I lacked a strong interest in forcing my opinions on others, and this situation is no exception. Here is what I think RTV should do.

1) Take out the trash.
Much of RTV's new lineup, as I wrote last week, is pretty good, but it's difficult for many viewers to appreciate the goodies because of the filler and modern junk that mars the schedule. Just eliminate programs like "Celebrity Kitchen" and "Cold Case Files," shows that are incompatible with the classic TV mission statement, and everyone will be more eager to embrace the new shows and put the pain of losing those Universal mainstays behind them. On a similar note...

2) Don't weaken the mothership to try to improve the "Luken Empire."
RTV's owner Luken Communications also runs something called My Family TV and Tuff TV, it is promising a kids channel called PB&J at some point, and is reportedly screwing around with the idea of an RTV2, which is laughable considering how much it has to stretch to fill an RTV1.

An RTV rep even admitted on Facebook--and I admire the candor--that the company is attempting to take advantage of economies of scale, in a sense, by repurposing shows on RTV. Hence the appearance of the likes of "Cold Squad" or, worse, generic syndicated magazine/lifestyle shows on the weekends on a channel that brags, "We know Retro."

I understand the concept and appreciate the desire to stretch a buck, but RTV is losing affiliates, and watering it down by shoehorning other Luken acquisitions into its universe debilitates the brand and makes it a less appealing product. I wish Luken would protect RTV, so to speak, and make it immune from the repurposing that plagues other entertainment corporations.

3) Think variety in genres of programming and expand the notion of what's RTV programming--as long as it's retro.
I added that caveat so as not to contradict what I wrote in item #2 there. As long as programming is retro, I'm willing to expand the definition of "classic." I would love a 1980 or so cutoff, but I'll accept some eighties stuff. The 1990s and beyond is too recent, though.
I'm thinking about talk shows, game shows, sports shows, anything beyond the standard selection of sitcoms and dramas. GSN had a lot of the game shows locked up, but as it abandons older material, perhaps some of that vault programming can be acquired more cheaply. It doesn't even have to be something like "What's My Line?" or "I've Got a Secret." How about the old 1970s/1980s game show reruns USA and CBN used to fill their daytimes with back in the day, stuff like "Joker's Wild" or "Name That Tune"?

"Celebrity Bowling" was announced as an RTV acquisition but isn't there yet. Maybe it's being held back for later, but it would be a great replacement for "Celebrity Kitchen" weekday mornings. It's fun, most assuredly retro, and has a deep catalog of episodes. Plus, its recent ESPN run notwithstanding, it is different than anything that's on anywhere else now, including those rival classic TV channels, and it's different than anything that has been on anywhere else.
If RTV is going to stick to those comfortable sitcoms and dramas, it should dig deeper for the really rare shows. "Movin' On" looks like a pretty odd duck in 2011, but I believe it's seldom been aired since its original run, and it is a nice treat that gives RTV some cred and some quirky charm. More of this and less overplayed evergreens would be welcome.

4) Don't get too attached to those library deals; furthermore, seek out the other libraries.
I confess I don't know a whole lot about how these "library deals" work, but it sure looks like attaching your channel to one studio's library exclusively, while providing a nice initial influx of programming, is a strategy that lends itself to stagnation if you don't cycle programs in and out (as RTV did not/could not do), and major shocks to the system when the deals run out (as RTV experienced when it lost the Paramount shows several years ago and last week when it lost the Universal shows; of course, when it lost the RTV shows, it at least could tout many familiar Uni programs to its viewers).

Antenna and ME-TV rely heavily if not exclusively on the Sony and CBS-Paramount libraries respectively, but apparently Sony shows are still in play, and maybe some Paramount obscurities are available, too. I've read people clamor for RTV to make a deal with Warners, but personally I think that is an overrated library unless someone really mines it for the rarer programs. Most of the notable stuff in the Warners catalog isn't that good or has been played heavily, and a lot of the rarer, higher-quality stuff was on American Life or Encore Westerns in recent years. Granted, those are two small cable outfits, but I'm just saying I wouldn't be eager to see RTV grab, say, "Hawaiian Eye" or "Cheyenne."

I don't know what the deal is with Fox. The Fox-owned properties are all over the place, with programs like "Big Valley" appearing on multiple outlets as varied as ME-TV and Family Net. Hey, RTV, how about picking up some of the programs Shout licensed for DVD then dropped, programs like "Peyton Place" and "Room 222"? Or how about "Julia," "Nanny and the Professor," and "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir"? Now that I think about it, there are a lot of Fox shows potentially in play that would make great additions to the RTV schedule.

I'd like to see RTV continue to probe for holdings of some of the relatively smaller guys, too. For example, if SFM still holds syndication rights to it, I think "Make Room for Daddy" would make a wonderful enhancement to the RTV roster of sitcoms, and even if they don't unleash the Jean Hagen years, there are tons of episodes to make a weekday run viable. Note I'm not promising it would draw ratings--I think the DVDs flopped and I believe the show wasn't a great hit in reruns, though I remember seeing it on NY TV stations in the eighties--but I'm saying it's a funny show that would add some retro and classic to an RTV which could really use them right now.

5) If you want to go cheap, go really cheap.
OK, someone might say, if we're supposed to get rid of all these filler shows, how are we gonna, you know, fill the schedule without resorting to infomercials?

Well, for the love of Billy Mays, don't go to infomercials. If you need cheap programming, grab some of that public domain stuff that's floating around in the ether. When I first got Family Net, there was a narrow window of programming consisting of terrible-looking prints of shows either in or assumed to be in public domain. I'm talking "I Married Joan," "My Little Margie," "Meet Corliss Archer," and a few others. I don't know how many episodes are available, but I'd sure rather see something like that on RTV than "The Great Outdoorsman" on a weekend afternoon.

Starsky & Hutch

2011-07-02T12:00:00.001-04:00

I hadn't seen "Starsky and Hutch" in a long time until RTV added it to its weekday primetime lineup this week; it only took about 5 minutes of one episode to remember that when pop culture in its various media makes fun of 1970s cop shows, it is making fun of this 1970s cop show.

I don't mean "programs such as this 1970s cop show." I mean this particular show, Starsky and Hutch.

I exaggerate a bit, perhaps, but look at all the elements the series contains, elements discernible from watching even just the opening sequence and theme song:

*Car chases
*Funky music
*Two buddy cops who just won't play by the rules
*A jive-talking informant
*A black authority figure who lives in perpetual frustration at the guys' antics but has to admit they're that damn good.
*Ample opportunities for the stars to show how cool they are (in this one, they go to an outdoor court and hustle a pair of guys at basketball to get info).

I don't mean to sound sarcastic. I enjoyed that episode even if the Is it possible that "Starsky and Hutch" is the quintessential 1970s cop show? Maybe some might wish it were something like "Police Story," a critically acclaimed anthology drama that--hey, what do you know--now follows "Starsky" weeknights on RTV. But I think when most people think "police program from the seventies," they're not thinking of a sober, thoughtful treatise on the various professional, social, and personal issues encountered by working policemen of the times. No, they're thinking good times, over-the-top action, and fun. They're thinking "Starsky and Hutch."

This week in Netflix Instant Watching

2011-07-01T16:46:00.001-04:00

Before the customary beginning-of-the-month flood of titles hits Netflix Instant Watching today, I want to highlight a few titles that appeared on IW this past week or so. The streaming additions front has slowed lately, but all heck will break loose when "Star Trek" comes to Instant Watching (it may already be there as you reads this). But some of the notable ones made available recently include...

*Iron Man 2: When people complain about Netflix not having any good movies to watch, they're usually complaining about a lack of recent blockbusters. Well, it's been out for a while and on pay cable for a few months, but if you don't have EPIX or you missed this last year, this is a pretty cool add. I have yet to see it myself, so while I am not subscribing to Netflix for big hit movies, I'm excited to be able to catch it this way.

*Louie Season 1: Here's a great TV series add for streaming. Those of you who "cut the cord" and ditched cable for this service, well, here you go: A complete season of a great modern television program, out in essence the same time as the DVDs. I already saw all these when they aired, so it's not a huge deal for me, but it is cool that it's there. I find that I feel conflicted about things like this, though. Since I still do pay a lot for cable, I kind of wonder if it's really in my best interests as a Netflix subscriber that the company is paying money for material I already have access to. Then again, I missed "Mad Men" and am looking forward to catching up from season 2 on when it starts streaming later this month. So I guess the ideas is not to get too hung up on specific titles but be glad that this kind of content is available.

*Life of Reilly: I've wanted to see this filmed version of the late Charles Nelson Reilly's acclaimed one-man show for some time now, and when it appeared on YouTube recently in official, legit form, I had an inkling it would wind up here.

*Cinema Paradiso and Switchblade Sisters: I include these to highlight Netflix's recent Miramax deal. It includes a lot of familiar titles we've all seen already, maybe some multiple times, but there is a nice diversity to the influx of movies included in this package. What illustrates that better than this week's addition of a prestigious foreign film and a drive-in cult classic?

The New Look RTV: Part 2

2011-06-29T22:38:00.007-04:00

After thinking about it a bit, I find that as a fan, the new RTV schedule isn't THAT bad. I still think it makes the network look more small-time than before, but as a lover of old-school TV, there is a lot to appreciate. Let's go through the weekday schedule, noting that RTV has switched from its customizable-schedule model to a mostly uniform national lineup, with various exemptions in areas here and there but with most stations now showing the same stuff at the same times:

9:00 AM: Daytime: I'm still not sure what the deal is with RTV showing this magazine-style morning show, but it's been on a long time now, and I don't worry about it anymore. It would be nice to have something decent on in the morning, but it's probably this or infomercials.

10:00 AM: Celebrity Kitchen: One of the awful, ill-fitting new shows. It is more suited to RFD-TV, from whence it comes. Stuff like this is why people get upset with the new schedule.

11:00 AM: The Rifleman (2 episodes): I personally saw a ton of these a few years ago on Encore Westerns, and AMC of all places is now showing it, so it's not a rarity anymore. But not everyone gets cable, and besides, this is a great show, albeit one that has been on RTV for a while now. No problems here, though I personally prefer a rarer oater or at least one additional western instead of two Riflemans in a row.

12:00 PM: Adventures of Robin Hood: The kind of old show that bigger classic TV outlets like TV Land (I know, I know) would shy away from. It deserves a place here.

12:30 PM: Peter Gunn: Solid show that deserves a spot, but it's been run an awful lot on RTV already. No problems with it, but would like to have seen something like Danger Man here instead. Also, it might work better in the late night spot it occupied before this big schedule makeover.

1:00 PM: The Bill Cosby Show: Great show that deserves national exposure, but it has been through several cycles already on RTV in the weekend lineup. And why was it in the weekend lineup? because it doesn't have nearly enough episodes to be stripped on weekdays! Good show in the wrong spot.

1:30 PM: Zorro: Not the old Zorro we'd all like to see, but the 1990s Family Channel version, which is way too recent. Cisco Kid is now relegated to weekends, but it would be a better choice. It's not one of the greatest series of all time, but I'd rather have an oldie like that in this slot.

2:00 PM: Movin' On: I had never seen this 1970s Claude Akins trucker show until RTV added it this week. It's an interesting rarity, and I applaud the network for giving it a whirl. But at 40-some hourlong episodes, it is more suited for weekend duty than for Monday through Friday.

Look, obscurities like this are exactly what I like to see on professed classic TV outlets to supplement the evergreens. However, RTV's reliance on short-lived series like this and Cosby to fill its weekday schedule indicates RTV is struggling to replace all that Universal Studios content.

3:00 PM: Naked City: Now we're talking! The episode I saw Tuesday looked--pardon my jargon--shimmery and kind of weird, but this is one of the all-time greats. This is a real treat and a solid mark on the "Good" side of the board when we consider this RTV makeover.

4:00 PM: Route 66: Another great add for RTV, but it's airing in glorious Stretch-o-vision for some reason, and I wonder if something funny is going on with the source material. But this is a top-notch classic show that hasn't been aired much nationally lately, and thus is another great addition.

5:00 PM: I Spy: No problem here, but it's been on RTV weekdays for a while already.

6:00 PM and 7:00 PM: This week, back-to-back episodes of Daniel Boone are airing, one color and one b&w, and the first impulse is that any classic TV channel that has to air two episodes of Daniel Boone each day just isn't trying very hard...or is just desperate to fill time. But in this case, it's temporary, as next week brings Highway to Heaven to replace one of the Boones.

I've nothing against Boone, and at least it's an older program. Highway to Heaven seems to bounce around the national landscape pretty steadily and is not all that old. It's sitting in too valuable a time slot. Not a coup for RTV.

8:00 PM: Starsky and Hutch: The star free agent acquisition of this new programming strategy gets the prime 8:00 PM slot. I'll write more about this later.

No, not right now. I mean in a separate post. Sorry.

9:00 PM: Police Story: I'm digging this 1970s anthology series so far. It's quite a contrast to Starsky, though, with its more, shall we say, mature approach to depicting police life. It's one of the pleasant surprises on the new schedule. Mustachioed Don Meredith eases the pain of losing Jim Rockford.

10:00 PM: The Saint: Is it true the color episodes are better than the black and white ones? RTV, I assume, plans to show both. Hey, this is a pretty cool add. Really, if you focus on the meaty part of the day/evening, RTV isn't looking so bad. Unfortunately, unless you're hosting a morning chat show (like Daytime!), the day doesn't end at 10:00, and so we move on to...

11:00 PM: Da Vinci's Inquest: One of the cheap modern Canadian dramas RTV imported, it has no place on RTV, and Americans have had ample opportunities to see it already. It really sticks out at 11:00 PM. RTV should have at least buried this at a different hour and found a legit classic crime/mystery show to anchor late nights.

12:00 AM Cold Case Files: I was disappointed last night when this A&E product actually came on at midnight. I much preferred what was on Monday night: "RTV is experiencing technical difficulties." Meet the new RTV...same as the old RTV! Getting back to Cold Case Files, though--ah, let's not and say we did.

1:00 AM: Cold Squad: Seriously, RTV might as well just shut down at 11:00 PM, and that's way too early for a classic TV channel to throw its hands in the air and resort to Magic Bullet ads or junk. Why not put Naked City somewhere in here or some cool anthology or crime show and find a decent program for 3:00 PM? Late nights on RTV are worthless.

So in summary, weekdays, we have the established Peter Rodgers Organization shows like I Spy and Rifleman moving around a bit, some solid adds, a couple of great gets, and some garbage that makes the whole schedule look decidedly non-classic.

The New Look RTV: Part 1

2011-06-28T14:41:00.003-04:00

I'd say the dust has settled on the upheaval at RTV, but with this outfit, you never know when another mishap or sudden change is gonna occur. But I think it's safe to make one final (for now) post about the new lineup--you know, now that I know what it IS and all.

First of all, let me say if you want a good laugh to go with some good info, go to the second (and current) RTV Facebook page. The first one disappeared under mysterious circumstances, and while the official claim is that those darned technical difficulties were the culprit, others--and not just conspiracy-inclined crackpots--assert that RTV pulled it due to the amount of negative feedback it was receiving. At any rate, Version 2.0 is up and running, and much like Version 1.0, you don't see much info at all from RTV. No, the fans provide the useful knowledge about affiliate changes, programming moves, and the like.

One particular fan, Steve Russo, clearly knows his stuff and has been the de facto company spokesman for a long time on the page, but at some point this year he became kind of a spin doctor for RTV, putting some of the more questionable RTV moves and non-moves in the best possible light for the Luken folks. For example, when someone complains that RTV representatives don't post there, Russo responds with a dig at Antenna and ME-TV for having "interns" post canned responses.

He has a point, but the Antenna page in particular at least has someone engaging with the community, and while the frequent empty promises to add shows to the master "wishlist" smack of meaningless appeasement, there are fun posts highlighting guest stars or other notable aspects of upcoming TV episodes airing on the channel. It would be easy for RTV to do this, assuming the people that run it KNOW what's gonna be on their channel.

Anyway, now that RTV's schedule is overhauled with the loss of the Universal library and the addition of some cool shows and a lot of garbage, Russo is valiantly portraying this in a positive light, chiding people for saying RTV "lost" the Universal shows when it may have just been a contract non-renewal. Well, yeah, but if RTV couldn't afford to renew it, how is that good? And though RTV has added some interesting programs from other sources, it has also brought in a lot of unappealing filler, and while I am willing to accept that if it means support for the good stuff (a point Russo is making on the Facebook page), it also looks like a clear sign that the company is in trouble.

ME-TV is poaching RTV affiliates all over the country, and it is hard to believe that trend won't continue. ME-TV has the power of the prestigious CBS/Paramount library in its favor, and RTV just lost (or "didn't renew") its own library deal with one of the other appealing libraries. I love that "Naked City" is on RTV now, but look at stuff like "Da Vinci's Inquest" and all the syndicated filler like "Great Outdoorsman" that clogs the weekends--shows thought to be offered on a barter basis, which basically means cheap as hell for RTV--and tell me that is more of a draw to station owners than a roster that includes name brands like "Leave It to Beaver" and "Magnum P.I."

I think that RTV is in trouble and that this move is a sign that it needs to cut costs to tread a little water. Now, were the Universal shows played out? Sure. RTV overplayed them, didn't take full advantage of the Uni library (assuming it had access to more than it actually used; perhaps many shows were off limits), and ruined some series by repeating episodes multiple times instead of showing the entire run. "Battlestar Galactica" is one that experienced rerun-itis. If you want the whole series, go to Netflix, where I believe all episodes of the original series are available for streaming. Why couldn't RTV get these episodes? And if RTV aired the last couple seasons of "Hitchcock Presents," I missed them because I gave up looking for them.

So change is welcome in this case, but is this good change overall? It looks bad for RTV if it's fighting to establish itself with station owners looking to sign up or maybe jump to ME-TV or even Antenna. It's good and bad for classic TV fans, who get some fresh classics but have to take them with a lot of unwelcome extras. Then of course there is the loss of old favorites which, played out as they were to longtime RTV viewers, were still beloved by many and haven't been on elsewhere much, either.

In fact, one of the as yet unspoken aspects that intrigues me about all this is what is to happen to those Universal shows. Will Antenna or ME-TV go after them? Is some other programming outlet going to acquire them? Personally, I'd love to see Netflix air some of the old stuff. It has a deal with Universal already and does stream many of the shows, yet many others have not appeared or no longer appear. Hopefully the severance of ties with RTV frees up the return of fare like "Kojak" and "Quincy" to Netflix Instant Watching.

Well, I've said a lot without really talking about the new RTV shecule. I'll stop here and be back tomorrow with more on that.

Are you ready for some football? Well, no, but the magazine publishers are

2011-06-28T10:00:00.000-04:00

It was a surprising sight at my local supermarket this weekend: Pro football preview magazines! Not even July, and they're already coming. I saw the "Sporting News" mag and I think at least one other; it was hard to distinguish them amidst the slew of college football guides on the shelves.

Yep, a pro football preview magazine...even though there may not be professional football (well, of the NFL variety) this year. I know the lead time is such that there is a lot of pressure to push these rags onto the stands early, and I love 'em even in this digital age--I've been buying 'em for years--but this is ridiculous.

June is too early even in a year without labor difficulties. If there is a prolonged stoppage that cancels games because the greedy owners are trying to stick it to the players (any doubt where I stand?) this magazine is irrelevant. If there IS a deal soon and no games are missed, then free agency starts and players move around like crazy...in which case this magazine is irrelevant!

To its credit, the "Sporting News" preview does have a "Will they play?" headline near the top of its cover. The fact that it needs to include that is a good sign that it's too soon. I hate to say this is a sign of the increasing irrelevance of print media. So I won't.

Time for some Shark Bytes

2011-06-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

I've been busy and too excited by the Pirates' recent success to focus on one thing for very long, so today's post consists of comments too brief to merit a dedicated post. Yet these thoughts have not appeared on Twitter, nor in the Shark Bytes section on the right side of this page, nor anywhere but inside my own mind!

*Hey, does anyone know why Encore Westerns stopped its "Have Gun Will Travel" sequence in the middle of the sixth season, then went back to the beginning of the season and ran episodes had just run a few weeks prior? I can see them all on Netflix, it appears, but it's puzzling and aggravating.

*Bono and the Edge have done it all, but on that Tony Awards broadcast a few weeks back, they displayed...humility. Who knew?

*The random selection of Chris Hardwicke as host of BBC America's new "Ministry of Laughs" program block must mean we've finally run out of British guys to come over here and class us up.

*Speaking of that, I loved the U.S. premiere of a new batch of "The Inbetweeners" and enjoyed "Come Fly With Me" more than I expected, but why is "The Graham Norton Show" included? It feels like a cheat to put a chat show in there, and considering all the sitcoms the American Beeb can presumably try to acquire, it's an annoying use of an hour of airtime.

*Whatever happened to Kristanna Loken? I saw her name attached to a DVD coming out this week and remembered that, oh, yeah, she was supposed to be a big deal when that "Terminator 3" movie featured her. OK, I see she was in "The L Word," but still, I ask, whatever happened to her?

*I caught up with it way after the fact, but "Episodes" was a pretty funny show. I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed season 1 of the Showtime comedy.

*The Baseball Project's "Volume 2" CD is another winner, a great collection of songs that should please any rock fan and any baseball fan. A baseball fan who likes rock? Katie, bar the door. And while you're up, Katie, could you please get me some chips? What? Get them myself? Well, I just--Oh, OK, fine then. Oh, yeah? Well, YOU, TOO!

Whoa, that got weird.

*Jim Miller, in a podcast interview with Bill Simmons, says that in the paperback edition of the ESPN oral history he co-authored with Tom Shales, there will be a hundred pages or so of new material. This is like a DVD double-dip. I haven't bought the book yet, and now I'm wondering if I should. Of course, Miller also said that the paperback would DELETE some material from the current hardback. Why not just release it the way you want to the first time? I didn't know this, but they did the same thing with the paperback version of their "SNL" book. Is that worth reading again in softcover to get different material?

*TCM's Drive-In Thursday series this month is its best idea since, well, whenever the last awesome idea it had was, which was probably recently. Have I mentioned how great this channel is?

*The more I hear about "Cars 2," the less tempted I am to see it, at least not until it comes to Disney Channel and my kids want to watch it a hundred times.

The single TV series I most want to see on DVD

2011-06-26T14:28:00.000-04:00

Each year around this time, partly for sentimental reasons and partly because it's just awesome, I try to watch "Casablanca"--you know, the movie version. If that qualifier sounds absurd, it's there for a reason, so bear with me.

"Casablanca" is the best movie ever made, I believe, and there will be none superior. In addition--and this may have something to do with my high opinion of the film--it is the one that got me "into" watching classic movies. One late night showing of it in public television opened up a whole world for me.

I got to thinking about what I would really love to see on DVD the other day, and since I was already eyeballing the "Casablanca" disc on the shelf, it hit me: The TV series! Yes, there was a TV series based on the movie--two of them in fact--and, yes, it tanked. It was probably a terrible idea. But I still want to see it!

The early-1980s David Soul series, I can do without. I would like to see it someday, even though I recognize that it would probably irritate me, but I've seen it out there in collector's circles and I know it exists. But the one that really intrigues me is the 1950s Charles McGraw version. In fact, Warner Brothers added an episode to one of its umpteen "Casablanca" special edition DVDs, and seeing it not only did not drive me up a wall, but it appealed to me as an interesting curio.

I assume WB has the rest of these episodes (8 hourlong installments in all), and why not put them on DVD? I would consider the brand strong enough to support an actual mainstream release, too, not just an Archives job. I'm surprised the company hasn't at the very least filled out a super-duper Blu-Ray package with more of these.

I have a lot of stuff on DVD, and I know where to find a lot of the stuff that's not "officially" on DVD, but I have never seen the other 7 1955 "Casablanca" episodes. So if you ask me today what series I would most like to see get a legit DVD release, my answer is..."Dance Fever."

No, I kid. It's "Casablanca." Put the 1955 and 1983 versions together in one spiffy box set, commission a featurette called "From Beloved Movie to TV Industry Joke: What in the Hell We Were Thinking," and get a few talking heads to do commentary on a few episodes. Bam--great collection to milk more bucks out of the millions of folks who love the classic movie, or at least the thousands who are crazed enough to buy almost anything connected with it.

OK, RTV is just messing with me now

2011-06-25T14:12:00.003-04:00

Yet again, my FIOS on-screen programming guide is showing changes afoot for my local RTV affiliate, but this time, the changes also appear at TitanTV and Zap2It. Some of these changes are good, some are bad, some are puzzling, but you'll understand why I don't go into great detail considering what happened last time I made a big post about the supposed changes.

Buuuuuuut...since I'm here, anyway...

According to these listings, joining the weekday lineup is "Route 66" (yay!), "Naked City" (a most pleasant and welcome surprise if true), "The Saint" (not bad), and "Starsky and Hutch" (Talk about random! I did not see that one coming).

Unfortunately, "Da Vinci's Inquest," way too modern for the RTV format, is apparently joining the weeknight lineup, as is..."Celebrity Kitchen"? I think this is a show hosted by Crook of the venerable country lifestyle team Crook and Chase, and, uh, yeah. I don't want to see that at all. What happened to "Celebrity Bowling"? And the show is listed as airing at both 11:00 A.M. and 1:00 P.M., which makes no sense whatsoever.

These listings also show "Daniel Boone" as airing at both 7:00 and 9:00 P.M. This also must be a mistake, right? I'll have to get that DVR cranking Monday to find out.

Weekends also show wholesale changes, mostly with some of the westerns getting booted in favor of filler-type syndicated programming like "Steel Dreams" and "The Great Outdoorsman," plus more too-recent series like "Cold Squad" and "Intelligence." I really hope the weekend lineup is "subject to change" because right now it looks terrible.

I have a theory that there is some kind of preview next weekend for RTV's parent company's other services like TuffTv and MyFamilyTV; some of these oddball additions already appear on are would seem appropriate for those outlets. Of course, it's also possible that RTV's "build your own channel" model is allowing my local affiliate to create this horrible mishmash of a schedule and I'm going to be stuck with it.

Well, it might all be worth it if we get the "Naked City" episodes that aren't already on DVD. I ain't getting my hopes up, though. Actually, if anything, I'm more aggravated about the prospect of "Celebrity Kitchen" than I am excited about "Naked City," which I guess says more about me than about the perpetual wackiness of RTV.

5 Q Movie Review: The Fighter

2011-06-23T17:00:00.001-04:00

Q: OK, this is a working class Boston movie, so we gotta know: Accents?
A: Not as prominent as in "The Town," which may be a good or a bad thing. People in this movie are too busy being drunk, stoned, or beaten in one form or another to worry about their hard "r's". Much like "The Town," though, I held this DVD way too long from Netflix. Did I regret renting it? No. Did I regret keeping it two months? Yep.

Q: Which one is "The Fighter," Mark Wahlberg or Christian Bale?
A: It's ostenisbly the life story of Irish Micky Ward, played by Wahlberg, but Bale, mesmerizing as his drug-addicted brother, runs away with the movie, aided by a screenplay that emphasizes Ward's family members as much as it does Ward himself. It's no wonder poor Wahlberg was the only major castmember not nominated for an Oscar.

Q: Does this movie pack a...punch? Are the boxing scenes credible?
A: Oh, you're clever, you. Actually, the movie, while well acted and compelling, feels more like a split decision or maybe even a technical draw at the end. The boxing itself is second fiddle to the out-of-the ring battles, which is the point, but still, Ward's most famous bouts aren't even portrayed, but rather addressed with a brief title card at the end.

Q: Who is the most fearsome force in boxing history?
A: Forget Mike Tyson. Forget Sonny Liston (OK, maybe a lot of people forgot him after the Ali fights). The most intimidating individual in the long history of the sweet science, if this movie
is any barometer, is Micky Ward's mom. The woman passed away recently, and I don't want to speak ill of the departed, but, lordy, Melissa Leo's portrayal of her is so over the top she goes all the way around and starts coming into the movie from the bottom.

Q: Does this serve as a good cautionary tale against the perils of drug use?
A: Uh, well, I suppose so, in the sense that Christian Bale's Dicky Eklund character becomes a fractured mess due to his crack addiction. But at least he has an excuse. The movie actually makes a strong case for drinking yourself blotto every night if you live with this family, especially considering the crazy broads in the house.

The first sight of Jack McGee, the beloved first station chief from "Rescue Me," he's staggering around a bar and generally making an ass out of himself. However, as the story progresses, he becomes one of the more sympathetic characters in it, and you start to wonder why he doesn't drink more. So nay on drugs, yay on booze is the message I take from this.

5Q Movie Review: "The Town" (2010)--It IS "The Town"

2011-06-21T21:00:00.001-04:00

Q: Wait a minute, you're saying "The Town" is in fact "The Town"?
A: Yep, unlike "2012," the motion picture known as "The Town" actually IS "The Town." You can understand, then, my sense of satisfaction when I sat down to watch "The Town" and accomplished that goal. And, hey, that the movie is really good only helped the cause!

In fact, you could say "the Town" is many other movies, or at least reminiscent of many other movies. I don't know that there is one element in the film that doesn't seem borrowed from or akin to something from another crime movie. But it's executed so well that I don't care.

Q: Is it time to take Ben Affleck seriously as a filmmaker?
A: "Gone Baby Gone" was enough to achieve that in my book, but now the guy's 2 for 2 as a director, and his output is such a potent combo of tense crime dramas that he earns a pass from me. I'll go see whatever he does next. He can stay in the gritty Boston crime drama genre, too. That may be PAH for the course for him, but it's not like we have enough good movies around that we have to ask the guy to "stretch" or some garbage like that.

Q: How are the Boston accents?
A: Prominent enough to make me try to echo them, thereby irritating Mrs. Shark as we watched the DVD; credible enough to make me stop doing it about 15 minutes in.

Q: Who's the bigger (and better) badass, Jeremy Renner or Pete Poslethwaite?
A: Despite giving up a number of years on the younger Renner, the great Double P, who appears nearly skeletal here and was struggling with the cancer that took his life last year, turns in a
convincing, menacing performance. Nothing against Renner, who is OK as a loose cannon type, but Postlethwaite's quiet, sinister presence gives the movie a big infusion of danger and leaves a memorable impression that is all the more remarkable considering his emaciated physical appearance.

Q: Hey, if "The Town" is so great, why did it fail to make the list of TEN whole movies nominated for a Best Picture Oscar?
A: Simple, really: The Academy voters are a bunch of poopybutts.

You know, we were just explaining to our little girl why it's not nice to use that word, one she learned from a little ruffian at her school, and I'm setting a bad example here, but she doesn't read this blog, and besides, sometimes there just isn't a more appropriate word than "poopybutt."

What movie should I go see this summer?

2011-06-20T08:00:00.001-04:00

Longtime readers of Cultureshark will know that...I really don't have much to say anymore. No, I'm kidding--I hope. But longtime readers will know that I don't go the theaters much anymore, with the one sure visit coming around my birthday as Mrs. Shark and I do the dinner & date thing.

That I go so rarely increases the pressure to pick a decent flick when I do. Usually there's a simple, safe choice that is waiting in theaters around the time of my birthday: Go see the new Pixar blockbuster, enjoy the heck out of it, feel good about cinema for another year.

The summer of 2011 will be trickier, though, because I'm not really excited to see "Cars 2." Plus my wife made that decision easier when she told me before I even mentioned it, "I don't want to see Cars 2." So what does that leave me? Well, there are a bunch of would-be smash hits either on the way are already out, and maybe you can help me decide which one to pick. Unfortunately, the one I really would pay to see, the "Captain America" movie directed by Joe Johnston, comes out way too late this summer. So that leaves...

Thor: I wrote too much about my personal connection with the character here. This might still be around when I get to the theater, but I won't be heartbroken if it's not.

Bridesmaids: Well, seeing as how I'm a GUY...no, I don't think so. I might as well see "Hangover II"...

Hangover II: Except I don't really want to see "Hangover II." The first one was an OK video pick, but I don't need to pay to see more (technically probably a little less) of the same.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Is it just me or has everyone already forgotten that this even came out? The series has overstayed its welcome.

Super 8: I just don't "get" J.J. Abrams. Pass on this one.

X-Men First Class: I was always more a DC guy than a Marvel guy, and even within Marvel, I was never into the X-Men. This looks like one I will be eager to rent but not one to make my one movie of the summer.

Green Lantern: This was one I would have gladly lined up for (well, figuratively speaking, more likely is Mrs. Shark and I going to a matinee and walking right in) if the buzz was positive. So far the buzz ain't that positive. I like the character, if not Ryan Reynolds, and like the idea of a comic book movie with actual space elements. But the reviews aren't promising.

Cars 2 (June 24): See above. I hope it's good, though, because I'm sure I'll get to it eventually.

Bad Teacher (June 24): Do you think there'll be a lot of overflow to this from people who are turned away from sold-out "Cars" screenings? Maybe a decent comedy would be a good date night alternative to the noisy, cluttered blockbusters of the summer. Maybe, but this doesn't look like a decent comedy.

Harry Potter, Larry Crowne, Captain America: All probably too far after my birthday to be feasible options unless one of them looks so great it's worth the wait.

The apathy must be overpowering! The more I sit down and look at the actual selections this summer, the more I am tempted to say "Screw it," and head to a Redbox for a couple of dollar rentals instead.

Brooks on Books: Old-School true crime in New York and Los Angeles

2011-06-19T13:50:00.002-04:00

Let me tell you how a certain true crime book begins, and you tell me if you want to read it or not:

Nearly 5 million men and women have served the United States as police officers. Only one has been executed for murder.

That's the start of the preface to "Satan's Circus" by Mike Dash, and while the book isn't quite as awesome as that intro leads you to believe it will be, it's still a fun ride. I am pairing it here with another recent read, Richard Rayner's "A Bright and Guilty Place," another fulfilling read. It sems silly to compare two books just because they're in the same broad genre and because I happened to read them recently, but, eh, here goes.

Each book focuses on a murder that occurred a long time ago, one involving someone on the "good side" of the law as a suspect--Dash's Charles Becker killing a gangster in early-1900s New York, Rayner's an ex-Assistant D.A., Dave Clark--a man running for judge, no less--shooting Los Angeles' chief crime boss and "fixer" plus another man in 1932.

Each book, however, goes well beyond its central subject to explore the endemic corruption and wrongdoing in its given sphere. Each offers a tremendously entertaining experience with numerous details about the shady characters and stories that add up to rather disheartening portraits of the histories of these major cities.

I believe Dash's book is better written. "Circus" is tighter and more focused. Even with its many amusing diversions to explore characters like Big Tim Sullivan, Clubber Williams, and Short Change Charley, it never strays too far from the central narrative. Rayner is perhaps a bit more ambitious in trying to use his chosen murder case as a springboard to depict the dark foundation of an entire city, yet his digressions tend to be a bit more distracting and somewhat overwhelming. It's telling (and probably a good idea) that he presents a list of names with brief descriptions at the beginning of the book, and it's easy to get lost in some of the details once the book gets going. Dash also offers a bunch of sidebars and such, but he uses footnotes during the text to avoid clogging the narrative, plus he sticks closer to the main action once the trial of the fallen cop gets underway.

However, Dash's book becomes somewhat less compelling as he sticks closer to the details of what happens after Becker is arrested. I respect Dash's discipline, but I have to say the book is more purely entertaining when it is taking a broader look at the colorful crime bosses, petty thugs, and crooked cops who set up the story. Becker's story intrigues in its own right, but the guy is just not as colorful as many of the other figures in "Circus."

"Place" is perhaps less skillfully written, but on some level more compelling, especially to someone who loves Raymond Chandler novels and other fictional explorations of the seedy side of early Los Angeles...like yours truly. There is a lot of juicy stuff in here about Teapot Dome, magnates like E.L. Doheny, and other key aspects of L.A. history, and much of it is new to me. Learning it enhances my appreciation for what Chandler did in fictionalizing much of it. In fact, Chandler himself is a prominent character here, as is Leslie White, a photographer/detective who is sort of the co-subject of the book.

So which one I'd recommend more depends on your interest in the subject matter and what you're looking for. Both "Circus" and "Place" in their way paint vivid portraits of corruption and vice in a given setting, and both have their own strengths and weaknesses. But don't feel the need to pick one over the other just because I contrived to bring them together here. True crime and history lovers have a lot to enjoy in each volume.

"2012": It's not "The Town"

2011-06-18T15:50:00.002-04:00

Here's a lesson for all you video watchers watching videos at home: When you rent a movie, especially one from a high-volume outlet such as Netflix, do a quick test on the disc--maybe just put it in the player and watch it load--before sitting down with your wife to enjoy it after finally getting the kids to bed and having just enough energy left to make it through a couple of hours of gritty crime drama.

A while ago, we tried to watch "The Town" after having it out wayyyy too long from Netflix, only to find--you guessed it--it wouldn't play in my machine! Now, granted, my Old Reliable Panasonic has been getting finicky, but this disc just was in "no condition to perform," as they say in the pro wrestling biz. So, feeling like Lost Episode Ralph Kramden when he would tell his wife, "Don't steam me, Alice, because I'm already steamed," I tried to find a substitute.

I found a substitute, but, boy, was it not a substitute. We eventually watched disaster blockbuster "2012," which had a few amusing moments, a nice extended "Crazy OR IS HE?" character turn from Woody Harrelson, and the reliable awesomeness of Oliver Platt. But it was no "The Town." Not even close. It didn't help that I was in the post-new-baby phase where I was still clinging to the concept of sleep and therefore having a tough time staying awake after the kids were in bed.

I shouldn't have expected it to be anything like "The Town," or even anything close to as good, but, by cracky, I wanted to see "The Town."

So that's another piece of advice. First, check your rental discs as soon as you get them. But also, if you want to watch "The Town," don't watch "2012." It's an OK diversion if you get Starz or Encore or whatever already, but it's not much else.

You know, maybe I should talk about "The Town." Let's do that next week. I'll make it Movies I Held from Netflix Wayyyyy Too Long Week, and I'll discuss "The Town" and another one that gathered dust on top of the entertainment center for an embarrassing amount of time.

My wife reads "People" so you don't have to: Engaged again?

2011-06-17T12:00:00.001-04:00

So I was not reading a stack of "People" magazines my wife had left out, as I often do, when I saw the May 23 issue--you know, the one spotlighting Pippa Middleton, the royal sister-in-law who supposedly stole the show at the Bill/Kate wedding. Got to hand it to the media for not only obsessing over the main event nuptials, but also launching a new star to obsess over.

But what caught my eye was not Pippa, but the photo inset and text at the lower right-hand corner of the cover: "Paul McCartney Engaged!"

Now, I had heard about this story but had tried to forget about it, and seeing it right there in living color on a magazine my wife reads but I don't, well, that just puts it right in my face.

I think all faithful Beatlemaniacs who see that headline have the same reaction: Please, please, please, let him be engaged...in a spirited series of recording sessions with some other talented musicians. Let him be engaged in a good book. Hell, let him even be engaged in a Twitter feud with Noel Gallagher (is Noel the jerk, or is it Liam? I can never keep that one straight. And is he on Twitter? Because think of the havoc he would have caused were he tweeting back in the nineties).

Just don't let him be engaged to be married again.

Sure, it's cynical to think Paul and Nancy Shevell, his new bride-to-be won't make it, or to doubt that they really are head over heels in love with each other. And I'm not attempting to make the case that women can't be trusted or anything silly like that. But after the last marriage went sour, it just seems a little soon for Sir Paul to get back into matrimony. 2020 would seem too soon, actually.

With a lump in my throat, I looked inside at the article. I saw a picture of the ring (it's huge) and read tidbits like Paul and Nancy are a great match because they're both reserved and avoid seeking attention (sure; in fact, I think Macca is calling his current World Tour the Not Seeking Attention Tour), but I didn't see the one vital bit of information that would make the story useful.

"People" really missed it on this one, gang: Not one word about a pre-nup.

5 Things I Learned Watching the Tonys

2011-06-16T13:21:00.002-04:00

1) It's gay, folks: It's beyond trite to comment along the lines OF, "hucks, look at all the homer-sexuals at the Tony Awards," but allow me one observation. This is the first year I watched so much of the show so closely, and I was surprised not at how many presenters were gay, how many honorees were gay, how many performances were gay, but how many people I thought were straight appeared to be gay perhaps by virtue of being on this broadcast. Understand I don't mean "gay" in a pejorative sense here. It's just a very...gay awards show, period. And that's fine. But I had this sense even BEFORE the "It's Raining Men" number.

2) Neil Patrick Harris is awesome: OK, I knew this, but really the Tonys have a winner here in someone who is poised, charming, funny, and versatile enough to provide a useful presence throughout the whole show...and who actually loves Broadway enough to care about it. I assume he has the Oscar-esque Billy Crystal Standing Invitation by now. If he doesn't, who are the Tonys holding out for?

3) Having said that, Hugh Jackman is quite the man, too: And his "Any show you can host, I can host better" routine with Harris was a lot of fun. A dual host format (if not a dueling one) might work. I hope those guys are as self-effacing as they appear and not so egocentric to reject that kind of thing out of hand.

4) There may not be a lot of Broadway plays worth spending all the money on right now: I'm not a big Broadway guy, but my wife and I were talking about what shows we WOULD see if we had the opportunity right now. Part of it is the format of the Tonys, I'm sure, but I didn't see a lot that would make me want to go out and see any of the nominated plays and musicals. The musical numbers were OK, but nothing really grabbed me as a showcase scene that worked well on television to lure me into the theater. Like I said, I'm not a Broadway guy, and I'm not much of a Tonys guy, either, except of course for Tony Soprano, Tony Danza, and sometimes Tony the Tiger when he's not being so damned overbearing. Is this always the case, that the real spectacle just doesn't come across on the telecast?

5) The Tonys matter: When you're watching an awards shown you don't always watch, one celebrating a medium you don't really follow, it's nice to get a reminder that the honor really is meaningful to the recipients. Nikki Reed of "The Book of Mormon" gave a passionate, touching speech that involved a metaphor, heartfelt tributes to family both alive and not alive...and the orchestra playing her off in the middle of talking about a deceased loved one. Real classy! I believe something similar happened later in the show. It's nice to know that getting out in time for the local news is more important than letting the winners express themselves--and on the Tonys as well as on other awards shows.

The Wonderful World of TCM: Make Mine Monogram!

2011-06-15T08:00:00.000-04:00

Johnny Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1944): Not a great movie, mind you, but a really fun bit of 1940s lower-tier studio filmmaking. Hollywood must have made hundreds of movies about domestic housing shortages in WWII, and I think TCM shows them all. I haven't caught up yet, but I like the atmosphere of them, with bright and eager young servicemen, helpful young women--wait, that didn't sound the way I intended--and the wacky mixups that ensue.

It is interesting to see Simone Simon in a conventional ingenue kind of a role, playing a woman who winds up inadvertently sharing an apartment in the city (New York City--where else?) with a bunch of military men, and, wow, this really isn't sounding the way I intend now.

But it's all good, clean fun albeit with a few hints that everyone knows the risque nature of the situation. There are some smiles if not hearty laughs, some pleasant interaction among the principals, and an amusing cameo by Rondo Hatton, of all people. Why, Robert Mitchum has a key part, too, and is quite effective, and there's an all-too-brief look or two at Grady Sutton. All this plus an animated Gremlin who keeps popping up throughout the picture and causing all the mischief. It's a bizarre element that springs from Simon reading a magazine article about Gremlins (from what I've read, the playful notion of little monsters called Gremlins screwing things up became a big trendy thing in the war years), and it adds to the offbeat nature of a movie that does rely on a lot of conventional romantic misunderstandings.

The surprise ending, which also breaks from reality a bit, is a real corker, too. This is a fun way to spend a little over and hour and another good reason to Make Mine Monogram.

I also watched a couple of James Dunn B-Pictures from Monogram. The Living Ghost (1944) stars Dunn as a wiscracking ex-private eye who un-retires to solve a murder case. Leave It to the Irish (1942) stars Dunn as a wisecracking private eye who solves a murder case. Each is directed by William Beaudine, who directed tons of Bowery Boys and other cheapo pictures--not necessarily an endorsement for these, I suppose.

Even only a week or so after watching them, they do blend together a bit, but they are both quality pieces of entertainment, low-budget hourlong programmers that do their job. I think the dialogue was a little crisper in "Ghost," but I enjoyed Dunn's plucky fetching love interest, played by Wanda McKay, in "Irish." So if I had to pick one to recommend, I'd say...see both of them If you're into this sort of thing. Each is only a little over an hour long, and you'll get what you're looking for, especially if, like me, you find Dunn a likeable wiseguy.

Breaking News: Cultureshark Wins Rights to Cover Battle of the Network Stars!

2011-06-14T08:00:00.003-04:00

This summer, Cultureshark celebrates the thrill of kitschy television and the agony of fourth-generation dubs.

Cultureshark announced today it had purchased non-exclusive rights to cover the original episodes of "Battle of the Network Stars" this summer. The independent pop culture blog outbid major corporate sites like ESPN.com, FoxSports.com, and www.BountyTowels.com to earn the opportunity to write about the long-running reality/competition series.

"It surely helped that nobody else knew the rights were even up for bid," said site proprietor/perpetrator/apologist Rick Brooks, "But we think the Blogging Rights Committee was swayed by the emotional speech I gave expressing just how important it was me to see Lynda Carter in a bathing suit."

Beginning soon and dragging out through the summer, Cultureshark will break down the Battles, "hopefully more or less weekly," according to Brooks. When asked when he would get around to posting the Budget DVD Theatre post he promised 7 months ago, Brooks replied, "Shaddap."

The Wonderful World of TCM: Cry in the Night (1956)

2011-06-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

I finally got to the interesting little picture "Cry in the Night," an effective black-and-white thriller that puts Natalie Wood in jeopardy and puts poor, old Raymond Burr in a figurative psychoanalyst's chair. It'll be on TCM Wednesday at 4:30 A.M., but I recorded it a looong time ago.

After conking her boyfriend (Richard Anderson) on the noggin, Burr snatches Natalie from a popular makeout spot (as opposed to those unpopular makeout spots--you know, they may not be where the cool kids go, but at least people don't get brained and/or abducted there) and takes her to his secret hideaway where she will presumably be his girlfriend forever.

Cynical police captain Brian Donlevy, much like his beat cops, think the boyfriend is a drunk who needs to sleep it off, but gradually they get the picture, and guess what? Natalie happens to be the daughter of overprotective, gruff, but lovable Captain Edmond O'Brien!

Chaos ensues as the force tries with desperation to find her, while Donlevy strains to hold O'Brien somewhat in check. We see some early examples of profiling, and it turns out Burr's character has mommy issues. Even O'Brien is due for a dose of armchair psychiatry in this one, and the discussions won't be unfamiliar to anyone who's seen movies from that time period that attempt to get into the heads of perverted criminals or even well-meaning dads. I don't want to say much else, but really this isn't a film based on plot twists. Everything is laid right out there, and the tension comes in the creepy Burr/Wood scenes and the plight of O'Brien and his charges.

Hey, speaking of creepy Burr/Wood scenes, I liked Bobby Osbo's outro to this one, in which he discussed the stir created by the public dalliance between the two stars. Our own Robert Osbourne is not one to tell tales out of film school during his segments, but I liked that he mentioned the public being taken aback by the fact that they were co-stars and the fact there was an age difference between the two while they were conspicuously being seen out on the town together.

Uh-huh. THAT'S what was odd about that pairing.

This week and last week in DVD

2011-06-12T08:00:00.003-04:00

True Grit: The success of this film proves to me that Hollywood is not making enough Westerns. There's a perception that the genre isn't commercial anymore, but all you need to do is get top-class directors like the Coens, an award-winning lead like Jeff Bridges, another A-lister like Matt Damon, and an existing property with strong name recognition from an earlier iconic film version. See? Simple.

Just Go With It: I remember when this Adam Sandler vehicle was coming out and the ads made it appear as thought the movie was basically an excuse to ogle Brooklyn Decker for 90 minutes. I was appalled that a major studio would ask us to pay 10 bucks to see that. Now that it's on DVD, though, I'm kind of cool with it.

The Company Men: A movie that looks at the toll taken on us by the faltering economy. It's supposed to be quality stuff, but I gotta be honest; if I were standing at a Redbox, I'd pick the one with Brooklyn Decker.

Another Year: The latest from brilliant director Mike Leigh, who keeps cranking out acclaimed, accessible films about the human condition, and since I haven't seen hardly any of them, I'm kind of talking out my butt.

Sanctum: I totally forgot about this underwater cave flick, too, so let me refresh your memory. Remember that 3-D movie that came out a few months ago with ads trumpeting "Executive Producer James Cameron" but really wasn't a James Cameron movie, per se? Well, Sanctum came close to matching "Avatar's" success, and maybe it'll make up the other 2,016,000,000 or so on video.

Blue Crush 2: I swear I was set to make a wise-ass remark about how we need an "Into the Deep 2" until I remembered that actually happened two years ago.

Love's Kitchen: I don't know anything about this except that it stars Claire Forlani, and whatever happened to her? I used to like her a lot.

Green Lantern Emerald Knights: Not the big budget Ryan Reynolds live action film, but a direct-to-video animated effort tying in with it. Hey, what can I say, I'm all about providing useful info for you folks.

Foo Fighters: Back and Forth: I saw this on VH-1 Classic a few months ago. It rocked.

Hall Pass: There seems to be a big market for crude R-rated comedies about schlub guys acting like jackasses. SEEMS to be, that is, as this one didn't do all that well. Psst! It's a Farrelly Brothers movie, despite the apparent attempt to hide the fact, so this movie has the right to be a crude R-rated comedy. In fact, you might even say it gets a...

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son: Despite what you may think, the subtitle is not an homage to the 1987 Kirk Cameron/Dudley Moore body-switching epic, but I think body switching is the only gimmick left for this franchise. I think Tyler Perry's Madea has made the Momma character passe, and good Lord, I can't believe I'm writing that.

Battle: Los Angeles: I still can't tell if this is the Aaron Eckhart movie, the similarly titled knockoff with Nia Peeples, or the video game. Please send the answer to feelsoutoftouchbecausehedoesn'tplayvideogamesanymore.com

Red Riding Hood: I can't figure out who's supposed to watch this besides teenage girls who might get tricked into thinking it's a "Twilight" spinoff. Come to think of it, I can kind of see the logic if someone thought there'd be enough of them to make this a hit.

Kill the Irishman: A 1970s crime movie based on real events involving the mob in Cleveland--hey, that's a crime movie subject you don't see every week--and featuring names like Christopher Walken, Vincent D'Onofrio, and Val Kilmer. This might actually be good! Truth be told, though, I didn't know it would be something I'd want to rent when I listed it here. I just wanted to highlight it as the Wacky Title of the Week.

Celebrity Bowling: I will direct you to this review at Sitcoms Online and tell you that I enjoyed the heck out of this series when ESPN Classic aired it last year. If you want to revisit the 1970s, first of all, why? But this time capsule should do the trick. By the way, it's nice to see another release from S'More Entertainment, which has put out some cool stuff but hasn't done a lot lately.

WWE: The Very Best of Monday Nitro: History gets written by the victors as the WWE puts out a collection of moments of the flagship program of the organization it essentially ran out of business. It's a worthy subject for a DVD retrospective, but I think "The Very Worst of Monday Nitro" might be more entertaining.

Vault of Coolness: Music from "The Paleface"

2011-06-12T08:00:00.001-04:00

OK, I'm not sure how Jane and Bob have come down with devastating cases of measles, but I still enjoy this picture. It's the cover of a little piece of sheet music I bought last year. (How much did I pay for it? Oh, I got it for a song! Ho ho ho!)

The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind will air "The Paleface" Tuesday, June 21 at 2:30 P.M. Watch it and tell 'em Cultureshark sent you. Just don't tell 'em about that terrible joke I just tried.

Will the real local RTV schedule please stand up?

2011-06-11T16:17:00.003-04:00

When I blogged last week about the new lineup of the local RTV affiliate, part of me wondered if I was pulling the trigger too soon. After all, my own unreliable on-screen programming guide was the only source listing the changes, and it was quite possible I was spending a whole lot of time and energy and brainpower (well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad) ruminating on a future that could well never be.

Well, the next day, the listings changed, and the forthcoming schedule "reverted" to the one in place. Then the next day, the listings for the next week out reflected the changes. Then the next day, all future schedules for this station were as they have been for months. This begs the question, what the heck is going on? And it also begs the question, should I really be writing about this again?

Well, I thought in the interest of posterity--because, you know, this is such a permanent medium--I should provide an update. I don't know what's going on with WJLA, but while I will continue to monitor the listings for "The Comedy Shop" and "Route 66," I won't write about it until one of the new additions actually shows up on my glorious low-def TV.

Of course, the best thing about the confusion is, still no "Da Vinci's Inquest" or "Cold Squad!"

More proof that I am kind of odd sometimes

2011-06-11T16:12:00.002-04:00

The other day, I see a license plate that reads...

GOEN OUT

Now, most people would probably see this as the vanity plate of someone who is active and always on the move, or perhaps a social creature who likes to get out and party a lot.

But my first reaction was, "Jeez, Bob Goen left 'Entertainment Tonight' more than 6 years ago. Get over it!"

First Impulse: What the networks are doing this fall: CBS

2011-06-10T08:00:00.001-04:00

CBS is kind of like the network of shows I might watch if I had more time, shows like "The Good Wife" and "Blue Blood" and--well, that's it, I think, but that's something. As for the rest of it, I made an informal arrangement a while back. CBS doesn't bother me, and I don't bother it. So while I remain puzzled that shows like "NCIS" can be so heavily watched when I myself don't know anyone who watches them, eh, live and let live, right?

The only CBS show I watched weekly, or at all, really, this year was "How I Met Your Mother," whose creators promised a big bounceback year and then delivered an uneven season filled with disappointments and some weak storylines. I'll watch in the flal, too, though, especially since it's a "me and the wife" program.

The returning stuff looks like what it always looks like. The new stuff kind of looks like what the returning stuff always looks like, too. I don't see any remakes on the horizon. What, no "Streets of San Francisco" reboot? I'll check out "2 Broke Girls" because it's on after "HIMYM" and because it stars Kat Dennings, but nothing else looks exciting.

I am intrigued by CBS' bold decision to put new scripted programming on Saturday nights. Unfortunately, it's only one half-hour show, and it's "Rules of Engagement." Besides inspiring speculation about whether new shows can work on Saturdays, it will quash the annual moment a month or two into the TV season when we all slap our heads and go, "Midseason shows, hmm...Wait, 'Rules of Engagement' is coming back?"

I wish something WOULD work on Saturdays. In this age of DVRs, social lives or not, there is no excuse for the networks to bail on an entire day of the week when scheduling. Well, except for the fact that they can barely program the other 6 with quality.

There's one show conspicuous by its absence in this post, and it undoubtedly will be the most discussed series on the network when it comes back in the fall. But I was never into it, anyway, and I don't feel like digging into its whole saga now, so...

First Impulse: What the networks are doing this fall: ABC

2011-06-08T08:42:00.002-04:00

ABC. Ah, what to say about ABC?

No, seriously, what should I say about ABC? I don't have a heck of a strong reaction to any aspect of the new fall schedule. This past year, I watched "Modern Family" and "Desperate Housewives." I thought the former was a lot better than I saw it getting credit for in some circles this year, and the latter is just a show my wife and I watch together out of habit.

Otherwise, there are some solid shows on ABC I wouldn't mind sitting through. "Mr. Sunshine" showed potential but was canned; "Happy Endings" showed potential and was renewed. The procedurals like "Castle" and "Body of Proof" don't grab me, but I don't have anything against them.

Really the only significant way in which ABC scheduling impacts me is in the shows Mrs. Shark watches. "Dancing with the Stars" usually is on when I'm doing special assignments or secret missions or whatever it is I do when I'm not dashing off blog posts, but every now and then I do have to see a little of it because the wife does check it out now and then.

No, the big thing is Thursday night because after "Community," usually delayed somewhat for me after taking care of the kids and whatnot (our whatnot is doing quite well, thank you), I make way to the office, to another room, or at least to an easy chair where I can bury my nose in a book, because the Shonda Rhimes Night of Chick Drama is gonna be on my TV set, and I ain't gonna be a participant in even passive viewing of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice."

And the hype has already begun for "Charlie's Angels" at 8:00 P.M. on Thursdays, and I have to say this seems a little forced. I was never a big fan of the original, never a fan of the movies, and now I'm supposed to like this why? Because Minka Kelly is in it? Well, OK, but why else?

So really, ABC's new fall schedule means little to me. "Grey's" and "Practice" are still on Thursdays at 9:00 P.M. and 10:00 P.M. The routine continues. I'm fine with it, she's fine with it, and we'll meet back up for "Desperate Houswives."

First Impulse: What the networks are doing this fall: NBC

2011-06-07T09:58:00.002-04:00

I used to be an NBC partisan. It sounds silly now to be a partisan for any broadcast network--I can understand the passion of the multitudes of rabid Soundtrack Channel (god love them, I just noticed their official website is a Wordpress blog) fans that are out there--but I just felt NBC was tops for sports, entertainment, and even news. Growing up, I just liked the look of NBC, and maybe it was something as simple as the signal strength of my local affiliate, but I did favor the Peacock.

Now, though, I'm almost inclined to think if a show is good enough for NBC, it must be crap. There have been a few things that resonated with me in recent years, most notably "Community" and maybe the first seasons of "Friday Night Lights," "Chuck," and "Heroes," but other than that, NBC to me has meant football and a bunch of critically overrated comedies and weak dramas. So to me, once I learned "Community" was getting a third season pickup, the rest of the fall schedule held no suspense for me, nor any particular interest.

Then I actually SAW the 2011 fall schedule, and what stood out was this is a struggling network that will devote 4 hours of precious primetime space each week to "The Sing-Off" and "The Biggest Loser." I get that reality is cheap and NBC needs all the eyeballs it can get from returning shows, but, man, 4 hours? Weren't we supposed to get all sorts of quality dramas again as soon as "The Jay Leno Show" got the big boot?

I think a telling aspect of NBC's slate of new shows is that several weeks after the announcement, the most buzzed about program is still the one that didn't make it: "Wonder Woman." Maybe "Grimm" or "The Playboy Club" will get some attention, though in the case of the latter, it'll likely be from the misguided notion that A) there will be nudity and B) it will be as good as "Mad Men," and people will tune in, find quick disappointment, and tune back out.

For me, the strategy in dealing with NBC is simple: Watch NFL (if there is NFL this season), watch "Community," hope something else comes along.

Burns and Allen is here! Well, most of it.

2011-06-06T08:02:00.000-04:00

The good news is Antenna TV finally started its "Burns and Allen" reruns--only 6 months late, too! The episodes are far from pristine, but the video and audio are plenty good enough for me. There's just one thing.

The bad news is that, yep, these are hack jobs, with at least several minutes chopped out of each episode, and not always artfully edited, either. Arguably the best parts of each episode--George addressing the audience--seem to be the ones most affected.

I'll continue to watch because I haven't seen the show in years and it's not like a ton of episodes are just floating around elsewhere and because the channel is "free" (though I'd love to see my provider's reaction if I sent in a check for zero bucks this month) as part of my TV package.

Yesterday morning, Antenna debuted 3 "new-to-me" shows: "Circus Boy," "Adventures of Rin-Tin-Tin," and "The Iron Horse." Apparently, all 3 are going to air in chopped-up form on Antenna. I haven't watched the hourlong "Horse" yet, but it looks intriguing, and I enjoyed the pair of "Circus Boy" episodes. But "Rin-Tin-Tin" is almost unwatchable due to horrible redone soundtracks. I only made it through about 10 minutes of the first of two episodes aired today. It sounds like someone had or thought they had to overdub a new musical score, and it stands out as way too modern for the series' production era. Even worse, the dialogue is also redubbed in many spots. I assume this is because the butchers had to scrap the entire soundtrack to get rid of the offending music.

This is more of a kids/nostalgia show, anyway, and it wouldn't be a must-see for me under ideal circumstances, but it's a shame that the series is so screwed up in this format, as it will probably never be on anywhere else. After watching a little bit today, though, I have to wonder if it SHOULD be on with this wacky audio situation.

So overall, Antenna has a firm footing in the "better than nothing" category. I love some of the creative programming decisions, but I hate the reliance on chopped-up and altered versions of the episodes.

Some ungentlemanly remarks concerning one Cameron Diaz

2011-06-06T08:00:00.000-04:00

I hate to sound rather less than gallant here again, but isn't Cameron Diaz starting to look a little...well, a little haggard?

I wouldn't make an issue out of it except that she is being pushed as a starlet (witness the "Maxim" cover and the marketing for upcoming bomb "Bad Teacher") and being pushed as someone about 10 years younger. And, hey, my wife was the one who first pointed out that Diaz is too old to be coming across the way she is. At least she was the first to point it out in my household.

It would be one thing if Cameron still brought it, and in some still photos from some angles, she still does. My head turned when I saw that "Maxim" cover at the bookstore. But then I saw a commercial for "Bad Teacher," and I thought, hoo, boy. Diaz just looks like she has been through some livin', let's say that.

She has a career hot enough to be pushed like this, she has a famous boyfriend (or maybe not if the latest gossip reports are valid), and she has tons of cash. Who am I to criticize her, I know. But I'm just saying that I feel as though some fraud is being perpetrated on the public, a campaign to trick us into thinking Cameron Diaz is a fresh starlet instead of someone who has been around a while and who may want to start transitioning into different kinds of roles...and different kinds of magazines.

Remember when WGN America was cool?

2011-06-05T11:00:00.000-04:00

I do. I wrote about it.

Actually, that link is to a story bemoaning the fact that WGN America was scrapping its Outta Sight Retro Night Sundays and therefore would not be cool anymore. But trust me, it was. It used to show "Honeymooners" each week, and we know how rare black and white 2950s TV is, except for a few evergreens, in major cable television.

Well, we can really stick a fork in WGN America. This article by Pavan Badal at Sitcoms Online reports on the newest additions to the channel's roster of recent and still-airing series: "Mad About You" and "'Til Death."

I have enjoyed "Mad About You" on occasion, but not only did it air on Nick at Nite a few years ago, it is running right now on Antenna TV. Plus it was in local syndication in the interim, and much of it is on DVD. My point is that this is not a rare show, and even if it were--and I realize cable is different than a service like Antenna--why pick it up now when it already has significant national play on another outlet (one owned by the same parent company, too, which may be partial explanation)?

As for "'Til Death," the show whose claim to fame is that it somehow overtook "According to Jim" as the most unkillable sitcom on television and confounded audiences and critics alike for years by not...going...away, well, incredibly, not only is WGN giving the reruns of this show a go, it is not showing it exclusively. Friends, "'Til Death" is going into broadcast syndication as well, meaning this Fall, you may well see the show each day on TWO different channels in your area.

Other debuts on WGN this fall: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (played heavily on FX and on Comedy Central right now), "30 Rock" (well, I'm not a fan, but this might work), and "Futurama" (played extensively on several different networks over the years).

Long gone are the days of "Newhart," let alone something as old as "Bob Newhart." WGN America now has its feet planted firmly in the unexciting present and the not-so-thrilling recent past.

RTV responds to competition by making some changes

2011-06-05T07:00:00.001-04:00

Friend of the Site Ivan at TDOY is thrilled to finally get ME-TV in his area, and with good reason; the programming service hearkens back to the old days of Nick at Nite in TV Land in many ways, and thanks in large part to its CBS/Paramount library deal, it offers an impressive roster of classic series. Heck, "Honeymooners," "Sgt. Bilko," and "The Odd Couple" alone make a channel impressive.

I'd love to get ME-TV in my area, and in an ideal situation, it would get its own distinct channel. But in markets around the country, Memorable Entertainment is not supplementing Retro TV, but supplanting it. The fact is these digital subchannel slots are filling up as outfits like Antenna TV get into the game, and while it would be great if we all had access to a good handful of these classic-oriented services, we can't count on it.

RTV certainly can't count on keeping its clearances, and if the technical problems that plagued it for so long have abated, so has the initial excitement and buzz that surrounded its big rollout. RTV has leaned heavily on the Universal library, and really only certain selections of that library, and its lineup has been quite stale for some time now.

Well, according to my on-screen programming guide, things are about to freshen up beginning Monday. Only "fresh" does not always equal "good," and in this case, there is some good news and some really, really bad news that makes me despair over the long-term viability of RTV as a legitimate vintage-centered outlet.

First the good news: In my area, at least, "Route 66," one of the all-time greats joins the weeknight lineup. I have an--ahem--alternative set I haven't finished of this one, but I'd be glad to see uncut, better-looking versions on RTV, particularly because years after starting the project, Infinity still hasn't completed the task of putting out a decent full collection of "Route 66: on disc.

In other good news, here comes "Celebrity Bowling." I'd be more excited about that if I hadn't seen dozens of episodes last year on ESPN Classic. Plus there's an imminent DVD release of the show; I prefer to see RTV add the really rare shows. But you know what? Just because I just saw the show doesn't mean it's not rare, and it's cheesy fun and a great time capsule of the 1970s. Note that I was not alive for much of the decade, and watching "Celebrity Bowling" often makes me glad for that.

But speaking of the really rare shows, in the "Well, that's random" department, RTV adds "The Comedy Shop" with Norm Crosby! Wow, I would not have guessed that one.

But let's get into the not-so-good news. Another addition is "The New Zorro," which may be of interest to some folks but is too recent, in my opinion, for RTV. I like the Zorro character, but I'd rather see the old Disney version or even the Filmation cartoon than this early-nineties version.

These additions are no doubt due to RTV's deal with the Peter Rodgers Organization. These are some nice additions, none played out nor widely available elsewhere. BUT there is some really, really bad news, too, and I don't want to condemn RTV yet for this because I think it may just be the local affiliate going off the reservation.

Here are two shows joining the weekday lineup. So that's 5 times a week--5 TIMES--for the following shows: Da Vinci's Inquest and Cold Squad. "Inquest" is a recent Canadian import that ain't bad, but it was seemingly on 10 different channels on my cable system a few years ago. As a matter of fact, it runs on "the mothership" of my local RTV affiliate, WJLA, right now. So now that it cycled through all those stations, RTV picks it up. It is way out of sync with a vintage-programming lineup. As for "Cold Squad," it's been running on MAV-TV, and I submit to you that anything on MAV-TV--check it out--has no place on RTV. An impish part of me would like to see the reaction of the average RTV viewer if "Bikini All-Stars" suddenly came on after "Rockford Files," though.

I did a little research before writing this post (for a change!) and found this article, which announces RTV is not only adding those shows I am getting, but also "The Saint" and "Movin' On" with Claude Aikens, both of which would make better additions than "Inquest" or "Cold Squad." I'm really, really hoping that this is some kind of cruel hoax perpetrated by my unreliable program listings.

Look, Peter Rodgers Organization is not as big a deal as CBS/Paramount. But I like that RTV is partnering up with a smaller distributor. More variety equals more shows, as long as the cable companies carry these channels. If RTV adds generic shows and strays from the classics, it may actually become MORE susceptible to usurpation from competitors. Let the likes of ION show "Da Vinci's Inquest," for crying out loud. I'd rather see a show like "My Favorite Martian," also syndicated by PRO.

Another odd aspect is what is leaving the current lineup. I'm sorry to see "Bachelor Father" go; while I look forward to "The Comedy Shop," I believe RTV needs more sitcoms, not less. "Emergency" and "The Incredible Hulk" leave, but "Quincy" and "Simon and Simon" stay. And though I'm not a big fan of "Cisco Kid" nor "Daniel Boone," I have no problem with them being on RTV--but in primetime? And I shed no tears for the loss of "The A-Team" and "Black Sheep Squadron," but it's curious that RTV, or WJLA's RTV, is running "Comedy Shop" and "Celebrity Bowling" on weekends as well as weekdays. Why overplay those new additions when you could have space for more programs on those Saturday and Sunday schedules?

I've given up on wishing my local would air "Kojak"--maybe someone at the channel heard Telly's eponymous album and enjoyed it a lot less than I did--but maybe RTV could dig a little deeper into those Universal archives to spruce things up. How about something like acclaimed short-lived cop show "87th Precinct"? Or "Name of the Game"? If they want to venture into more recent fare, how about "Six Million Dollar Man" or "In Search Of" And though I own the DVD box set, "M Squad" would make a great late night half-hour addition.

Jeez, or at least put "Emergency" back on. I don't watch it, but it's better than "Cold Squad."

(Disclaimer: As of this writing, Zap2It and TitanTv listings both have the same standard local RTV schedules for next week and beyond--hey, I told you I did research--so it's possible that this post is totally misguided. However, the news story I linked to indicates something is up. So I welcome "Route 66" and the other shows and cling to the hope that there is just an error regarding the two newer shows I just dissed.)

(UPDATE: As of Monday, the old schedule is still in place, yet my own on-screen programming guide still reflects the "new" lineup. Is this a colossal screw-up, or just a major one--i.e., did someone just put up the next schedule a little too early? Stay tuned. Unless it's "Cold Squad," in which you can turn the channel.)

This week and last week in DVD

2011-06-04T15:41:00.002-04:00

Drive Angry: Wouldn't it be cool if this were not a FRENETIC THRILLER but rather a laid-back, quirky movie about a guy just driving around all ticked off because gas prices were so high? I think he could make it work given the right material. He's given enough quirky performances lately, but how about starring in a quirky movie?

Biutiful: Javier Bardem stars in another depressing movie. I guess the guy's doing something right, though, or at least the Academy thinks so. Or at least Julia Roberts, who lobbied hard for his Oscar nomination, thinks so. And what does Penelope cruz think about Bardem's friendship with Roberts? Well, I have no idea, and it's kind of irrelevant, but isn't that a more fun situation to ponder than a guy struggling to raise his kids despite his junkie ex-wife, then learning he has a terminal illness?

Passion Play: Now, this sounds interestingly random, or maybe randomly interesting: A supposedly noirish film with Bill Murray as a gangster, Megan Fox as a "beautiful and mysterious sideshow attraction," and Mickey Rourke. I think adding Mickey Rourke to any cast list makes it seem random. Still, I wonder, where the heck did this come from? Might be worth a look.

I Am Number Four: I had my "Prisoner" references all lined up until I realized I probably made them already...just a few months ago when the dang movie came out. I barely had time to digest not wanting to see it in the theater, and now I have to worry about not seeing it on DVD? We really need to extend these release windows.

Gnomeo & Juliet: If you tolerated it with your kids at the multiplex...you'll love buying it for them and seeing it several times a week in your home!

First Impulse: What the networks are doing this fall: FOX

2011-05-31T08:00:00.000-04:00

I remember when I used to be a big fan of Fox programming. "The Simpsons," "Married with Children"...The network promoted itself as an edgy alternative, and it really was! It was so edgy and alternative that I sat through shows that weren't either of those things, like "Duet," and didn't hold it against anybody. Now that I think about it, this outfit also brought us off-Showtime versions of "It's Garry Shandling's Show" and "Get a Life." Man, it's no wonder I used to love Fox.

Years later, after enduring hours of annoying sports coverage and witnessing the "American Idol" and Seth MacFarlane takeover, plus the slow decline of "The Simpsons," I don't really watch a lot on that network. When I do, it gets retooled and ruined--see "The Human Target"--or just plain canned--see "The Chicago Code." So while don't see a lot of "Arrested Developments" on the announced fall schedule, I don't see "Chicago Code," either, and that kind of angers me. So I don't have a lot of enthusiasm for this lineup.

The biggest deals are "X-Factor," a talent show deal from Simon Cowell, and "Terra Nova." If I never got into "Idol," why would I get into "Factor," and as for Steven Spielberg's "Nova," yeah, it's being hyped already, but I can't quell my own irrational suspicion that it's never going to actually air. I also have a more rational suspicion that even if it does, it'll stink.

"Raising Hope"? Pass. "House"? Pass. "Glee"? Throw a 50-yard bomb into the Atlantic Ocean and don't give it a life preserver.

There are a few new sitcoms, too, but I'm at the point now where I almost don't want to give comedies on Fox a shot. I mean, all the half-hour shows they've tried in recent years, some of them promising, and "Raising Hope" is the one that sticks? So even though one of them has Cutty from "The Wire," I'm not too eager to try the new comedies.

So, Fox, good luck and all, but your hits are aging, and it's been a long time since you really enthused me. And by the way, I still think you're not a true network until you try to program the 10:00 hour.

Brooks on Books: Tennis, Anyone?

2011-05-30T14:14:00.004-04:00

I consider myself a casual tennis fan these days, someone who hasn't played in way too long but wishes he did and someone who constantly wishes he followed the sport a little more closely than he does. Here are a few book recommendations for you fans to check out in between French Open matches:

Hardcourt Confidential by Patrick McEnroe (with Peter Bodo) sounds like it's going to tear the lid off professional tennis, but it's not really that kind of book. P-Mac is candid and willing to criticize players like Serena Williams where it's warranted, and he does offer an inside look at the game, but it's not a gossipy tell-all.

Instead, it's a fine blend of memoir, analysis of the sport, and in-depth look at certain aspects of tennis that don't get a lot of mainstream media coverage. Most significant is McEnroe's exploration of the Davis Cup. Drawing on his experience as a player and captain, he really covers the competition from all angles. His stories about managing players and personalities offer a side of tennis I hadn't read much about. Since I have fond childhood memories of watching USA Davis Cup performances on ESPN, I loved that the book spent so much time on this subject.

McEnroe also covers his own career as player, broadcaster, USTA official, and, yes, he talks plenty about brother John as well. He doesn't air out much dirty laundry, but he does offer glimpses into what it's like to play in John's shadow and also to play against him and with him in doubles. I even enjoyed reading about his stint as a regular on Don Imus' radio show. Throughout, possibly aided by noted tennis writer Bodo, he comes off as a straight shooter and a heck of a guy, and this book should delight aficionados of the game, though fans more casual than myself might not get as wrapped up in the Davis Cup stuff. It saddens me that the event doesn't mean more right now in this country, but I'm just saying.

A Terrible Splendor by Marshall Jon Fisher is also pretty hardcore tennis from a historic perspective. Speaking of Davis Cup, Fisher tells in great detail the saga of an epic 5-set semifinal match in a USA vs. Germany contest played at Wimbledon in 1937. Fisher does not merely relate the story of this particular event, though he does cover that in exciting fashion. He offers mini-biographies of players Gottfried Von Cramm and Don Budge (you can probably guess which guy represents which country), offers basic overviews of tennis history and especially Davis Cup history, and, oh, by the way, takes us into the turmoil created by the rise of Nazi Germany.

It's testament to Fisher's skill that he combines all these aspects while maintaining the narrative suspense and building up to the conclusion of the match. There are basically 5 chapters, "Set One, Set Two," and so on, and Fishers uses each set as a springboard to go back and fill in all of the other stories. The event itself is a big deal, as it means a lot to all the participants and their home countries. Davis Cup was a much bigger part of the national consciousness in 1937, as Fisher shows. And while it may be overstating things to say Von Cramm was "playing for his life" against the legendary Budge, well...I don't want to give much away, as I think the story is more compelling if you know few of the details, but Von Cramm certainly felt the pressure of essentially representing the Nazi regime, and the lengthy "Aftermatch" section of the book is just as engrossing as the rest.

My quibble with "Splendor" is that because Fisher jumps back and forth in time, the text confuses sometimes. I grew up loving and studying baseball history, so I can follow an account of, say, the late 1970s when the Yankees seemed to face the Royals and the Dodgers ever year in the playoffs, and not feel my head explode. However, the highest levels of the 1930s featured many matches with the same players going at each other in similar circumstances, and while Fisher does his best to differentiate and lay it out with clarity, it is easy to feel a little bogged down when reading and going to this Wimbledon or this Davis Cup with these same guys playing in the semis or in the finals or whatever.

Another interesting thing is that even as Fisher makes Von Cramm and Budge come alive, the most interesting figure in the book remains Big Bill Tilden, who plays a surprising but key part in "Splendor" and steals the show, especially if you're not familar with the particulars of his life. You come away wanting to read a more in-depth biography of THAT guy--"And guess who wrote a big bio of Bill Tilden," said Frank Deford with an evil twirl of his mustache!

McEnroe's book reveals his love of and respect for tennis and shows his commitment to it, but it does sometimes feel a bit breezy; Fisher's work just feels weightier. After all, we have Nazis and politics and history and everything. Each book deserves a big recommendation for serious tennis fans; the more casual ones may want to be a little more careful. I'll say this, though: If you're interested enough in the sport to want to read a book about it, you should get a lot out of each one. Fisher's has enough general and social history to perhaps be of more interest to those who aren't huge fans, but it is loaded with enough detail to satisfy those who are.

First Impulse: What the networks are doing this fall: The CW

2011-05-28T22:00:00.000-04:00

For the next week or so, I'm going to share some quick initial reactions to the news coming out of last week's upfront presentations, when TV networks shared their plans for the fall. What shows are coming back? What news shows can we expect? I don't intend to provide any kind of comprehensive report on that. Instead, here are some things that stand out for me.

I start this series with the CW, and the reason I start with the CW is because I can fill post space with my introductory spiel and not have to fill it talking about the "almost a real network" network. I don't take the CW seriously, not being a teenage girl, but if you do, hey, no offense. I just don't watch any of its shows regularly and haven't done so for years. And though I am indeed a boy, I'm not a fanboy, at least not of the "Buffy" variety, so the presence of a new Sarah Michelle Gellar show ("Ringer") does not interest me.

Among returning shows, well, apparently everything is returning. What does it take to get rid of some of these stalwarts? "One Tree Hill" will surpass "Gunsmoke" and "Law and Order" as the longest-running primetime network TV show this year, while "Supernatural," of course, has already broken the record for longest-running show about brothers investigating stuff, beating "The Hardy Boys" and "Simon and Simon."

There's a new show coming called "H8R," in which celebrities are paired with and try to win over civilian detractors. What a terrible idea. The only way I'd watch this is if the celebrities totally acted like jerks and tried to show up the "regular folks" using the advantages of their fame and wealth. And of course, I hate this show already just because of the title. I see enough license plates on my commute to work without seeing them in the TV listings, too.

"Easy A" and "Salt" (now on Instant Watching, I might add)

2011-05-25T14:00:00.000-04:00

Recent additions to Netflix streaming and to Starz as well (no coincidence, that, due to the deal the two companies have) are these two female-fronted 2010 movies. I really liked one, and the other--well, I could barely stay awake for it.

That's not necessarily an indictment in and of itself. Since the birth of my newest child, I've found myself dozing off in my easy chair even during movies and TV shows I love. So if something is weak or just bland, well, it hardly stands a chance.

Let's start with the snoozer first, Angelina Jolie's "Salt." Well, Philip Noyce directed it, but the movie is all about her, right? That's how it was marketed, too. I used to be a big fan of Angelina Jolie, Action Star--hell, I paid to see BOTH "Tomb Raider movies." But now--forgive me--she just isn't what she used to be for whatever reason, and she is no longer the credible ass kicker (OK, credible in a movie way) she used to be. Nor does she have the "Hey, ogle me" aura she did then.

So, yeah, when I sit down to watch "Salt," I'm expecting a good story, and it just never comes together. I somehow guessed a major plot development, one that's supposed to be a big deal, very, very early, and I'm never good at that sort of thing. I don't think it makes the movie terrible per se, but discerning it so early lessened my enjoyment of "Salt." Just a generic action/thriller that barely--and I mean barely--kept me awake. Come to think, it wasn't the movie that kept me awake as much as the beverage.

"Easy A," however, is a delight, a testament to the charm and charisma of Emma Stone. Stone is a highlight of films like "Superbad" and "The House Bunny," but here she proves she can carry a movie. I look forward to seeing more of her in these kind of light but intelligent roles.

Not that "Easy A" is the most sophisticated of screen comedies--it kind of beats the "Scarlet Letter" connection over your head so you understand the inspiration for the plot, for one thing. I found myself straining to buy that plot, in fact, in which Stone agrees to let a fellow student claim he had sex with her, but then escalates it as other credibility-seeking boys make deals with her to get her approval to say that they did it. There's probably some commentary in here about why guys can get away with this but Stone's character is labeled a slut, but the story is much more straightforward than a treatise on social mores. Stone IS ostracized, though, in a way that doesn't really ring true with me. More importantly, it's hard to believe Stone would take this as far as she does.

Straining to accept the story is worth it, though, because there is a lot of humor in the screenplay as well as a solid effort, often successful, to infuse heart. Some of the adults are as misguided here as the kids, and I like the way the movie sort of attempts to show the messiness of relationships and sexual politics. Stone's parents, played by Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson, are almost but not quite over the top in their kindness and accessibility, and it's nice to see them have fun as a loving couple that stands in stark contrast to some of the other selfish men and women who populate the movie.

It's funny, ultimately you feel good about most of what's going on, and Stone is great. I saw "Easy A" on video, but it's probably the kind of movie you can revisit on cable, or Netflix, with ease and get something out of it each time.

My wife reads "People" so you don't have to

2011-05-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

If there's one issue of "People" magazine I look forward to reading by accident only because my wife left it laying around as opposed to actually sitting down and deliberately perusing it because, hey, I never do that, it's the "Most Beautiful Person" issue. This year, I stumbled on the mag, which anointed Jennifer Lopez, and was prepared to go through and take exception to their ratings.

Only there is no ranking. It's J-Lo is the Goddess, and here are some features on other beautiful women. I guess I was confusing "People" with "Maxim," and let me tell you, sometimes I wish my wife would confuse the two because often I'd rather see the latter in my house, BUT she never does.

So I really have nothing more to say about this year's edition.

However, I also accidentally read the May 2 issue, and I took note of the upbeat profile of legendary soul diva Aretha Franklin, who appears to be on the mend after suffering from unspecified "serious health problems" last year. Aretha is still mum about what major surgery she had--she denies the gastric bypass rumors--but she is lighter, healthier, and rarin' to go. Why, just look at this quote about her bucket list that closes the article:

"And she jokes about one last entry on it: sticking around long enough to make the 'Today' show's centenarian segment. 'I'll be at least 100,' she says, 'and Al Roker will be bent over there, showing my picture!'"

Putting aside the horror of reading any sentence including the phrase "Al Roker will be bent over," I think we should applaud the Queen of Soul. It's an inspiration to all of us that at her advanced age, after everything that this woman has accomplished, she still has such lofty goals.

I sure showed THEM

2011-05-23T14:00:00.001-04:00

So I believe it was at the beginning of the second season of "Chuck" or thereabouts when I saw the weak ratings for the show and bailed on it. Why invest an hour a week in a series that wasn't gonna make it till the end of the year? My wife kept up with most episodes, but I haven't seen a full episode since.

Well, here we are in 2011, NBC just announced its fall schedule, and look what show is returning for its fifth season: "Chuck."

Yep, I really showed NBC a lesson by refusing to watch the show they were gonna cancel. And it's a good thing I didn't wrapped up in it and sit through all those dozens of episodes only to have the rug yanked out from under me a mere 4 years later!

In fairness to myself, the ratings for the show remained weak and still are; only NBC's general ineptitude has kept "Chuck" from a proverbial dirt nap. Also, from what I understand, the show has made enough changes and emphasized enough things I'd rather it wouldn't, that I'm really not broken up about "missing out" on the last few seasons of what I considered an entertaining series but never appointment television.

Still, I do feel kind of foolish.

Yo kind of quiero-ed Taco Bell

2011-05-23T10:00:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, I had a hankering for something my father had described to me: the new Pacific Shrimp Taco at Taco Bell. I have never been more than an occasional visitor to the Bell; I love tacos, but I don't really consider that incarnation of the food a "real" taco. Fast food is great, but it's not like real tacos are a luxury item, so why waste time and money on an inferior product when I can make a great batch at home? And of course, when I say "I," I mean my wife.

But the combination of the taco and one of my other favorite food items--shrimp--was enough of a lure to get me into a Taco Bell for the first time in several years. I bought whatever combo they featured with the Pacific Shrimp Taco and took it back to the office for a hasty but hopefully satisfying bit of fast food goodness.

Well, I won't say I won't be back to Taco Bell for a few more years just because of this experience, but it certainly didn't impress me enough to make itch to return. On one hand, it's my fault. I got the soft tacos, and I'm just not a soft taco guy. I like my taco shells the way I like my trigonometry exams--hard. So that's one strike.

Then the taco itself, even allowing for the soft-shell handicap, just wasn't all that tasty. I'm not sure how fresh it was; it certainly wasn't piping hot or anything by the time I bit into it. Ehh. It was a taco, I guess, and it had shrimp. But it wasn't exceptional.

And besides, it just didn't feel like all that much of a deal. Isn't that kind of the reason we buy fast food, because it's cheap, or at least feels like a good value? I can't remember the exact amount I paid for two soft tacos and a fountain drink, but I had to supplement my meal with a side of nachos because the soft tacos looked kind of puny. Now, granted, I have been known to strike fear into the hearts of innocent bystanders by swooping into the kitchen and gobbling up mass quantities of tacos without concern for the well-being of other diners, but still, I don't think I'm just being a glutton when I say two Taco Bell tacos don't exactly make a feast fit for un rey.

So I bought the side of cheap tortilla chips with the fake nacho cheese, and it hit the spot for what it was, but why did I have to buy that as a side item? Shouldn't nachos be part of a combo meal there? Every burger joint worth its excessive sodium gives the option of a deal that includes fries or some healthier alternative. I felt kind of ripped off having to shell out 6-7 bucks for what I got--and what I got was SOFT shell!

So to summarize: Unexceptional food--even by fast food standards--and unexceptional value equals me kind of avoiding the place, especially since I've cut back on fast food in general. I am willing to give the concept of fast food tacos a try, but it may have to be the McTaco that revolutionizes the industry, because I'm not too impressed with what Taco Bell is doing.

Brooks on Books: A baseball doubleheader

2011-05-22T12:00:00.001-04:00

"The End of Baseball" is a fine historical novel by Peter Schilling, one that takes a fascinating "What if" scenario from baseball lore, runs with it, and creates a compelling and credible alternate history. During World War II, maverick owner and noted showman Bill Veeck wanted to buy the struggling Philadelphia Athletics American League franchise and stock the roster with superstars of the Negro Leagues, thus integrating major league baseball years before Jackie Robinson finally became the first black to play when he debuted with the Brooklyn Dodgers.

This didn't happen, of course, but Schilling's story shows what might have happened. It takes a lot of subterfuge and a lot of struggle against the Powers that Be who seek to undermine Veeck's efforts. While the establishment wants to subvert the A's and prevent the successful integration of the sport, Veeck really just wants to sell tickets and win baseball games--with winning baseball games being the bigger deal because it leads to selling tickets, which leads to Veeck showing the profit he needs to get in order to maintain control of the club after his first season as part of the terms of his purchase. It's not that Veeck is as conservative, stubborn or outright racist as some of the Lords of baseball, like imperious commissioner Kenesaw Landis, but race just isn't a big deal to him. He sees an opportunity to get some great talent and create a memorable experience for fans and a winning franchise.

Schilling depicts an entire season through not just Veeck's eyes, but also those of the other main characters, men like troubled Hall of Famer Mickey Cochrane, who manages the team, and of course the black men who form the A's baseball team. It's to Schilling's credit that he makes Veeck such a vivid character while staying true to what we know about this real-life individual but also creates credible versions of African-American men, some characters in their own right like drug addict Josh Gibson and mercurial Satchel Paige, others more identifiable or "average" guys like struggling rookie Artie Wilson.

I was invested in the story right to the end, but I never was quite wrapped up in it up to the point I couldn't put it down. That's not necessarily indicative of any flaw in the book, but I guess I expected to be a little more emotionally hooked by it than I was. However, "The End of Baseball" is an entertaining blend of history--including cameos from men like Walter Winchell--social commentary, and of course baseball, and I give it a strong recommendation to any fan with an appreciation of and interest in the sport's past.

Hey, speaking of Jackie Robinson, last year, I read Jonathan Eig's "Opening Day," an excellent account of the man's groundbreaking 1947 rookie season. It's a well-researched, well-written account of an eventful period, full of detail, anecdotes, and telling glimpses into the world of Robinson himself. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of Robinson on a basic human level and how he actually lived and handled things as he was making history. Eig, however, provides not just a thorough overview of the '47 Dodgers in baseball terms, but a rewarding look at Robinson the man.

I must confess that while the integration of major league baseball is a pivotal event, one that deserves plentiful scholarship and fictional treatment, I sometimes get a little exasperated when I see just how many books on the topic fill the shelves in the baseball sections at the libraries or bookstores. Not that I resent the books or anything, but sometimes I find myself hoping they're not drowning out other aspects of baseball history I'd like to see represented. But I read and loved Eig's book and never found myself regretting I'd picked it up.

One aspect in particular that impressed me in "Opening Day" was Eig's effort to explore many of the myths and legends that grow over the years as people celebrate Robinson's accomplishments. Eig does a great job at digging for the truth and evaluating the veracity of many of the more notable stories that have become accepted as fact. His skill in this area is one reason why I'm stunned to read all the negative comments about his follow-up, a biography of Al Capone that came out last year. One of the common criticisms I read is that Eig relies on inaccuracies and speculation to build some conclusions that just can't be supported. Well, perhaps Eig's work on Capone is lacking, but I do recommend "Opening Day" as an entertaining and well-sourced piece of history, one that works hard to be a credible record of a widely discussed, vital component of baseball's tradition.

Cultureshark Remembers Randy Savage

2011-05-21T16:00:00.000-04:00

R.I.P. Randy "Macho Man" Savage, dead at 58 after reportedly suffering a fatal heart attack then crashing his car. Savage is one of the all-time biggies in pro wrestling, a massive star in both the heady days of 1980s WWF and a key player in the 1990s Monday Night Wars era, when the WWF and rival WCW were making tons of money while running their flagship programs head to head each week. He was a big enough mainstream star to merit a segment on "Sportscenter" yesterday and to star in ads such as his notable Slim Jims campaign.

Savage was not someone I considered my favorite wrestler at any given time, but because he was pitted against some of the performers I most detested watching--Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior--in key feuds and matches, I did root for the guy a lot and get emotionally invested in his work. Plus I always appreciated his ability; in a WWF in which stars often coasted due to organizational pressures, ridiculous travel schedules, and the pressure to not upstage Hogan, Savage stood out for possessing both the tremendous charisma one looks for in a professional wrestling superstar AND the athletic ability and "workrate," as it's known, to deliver inside the ring.

On a personal level, I remember Savage for starring in two pivotal moments in my wrestling fandom. I first started watching in 1985, and the arrival of the Macho Man in the WWF was a big deal. He had cool moves and was an exciting guy to watch, but he was also involved in what I believe to be the first big "angle" (storyline) outside the ring that really captivated me. The WWF treated him as a big deal immediately, and the big question that played out over his initial weeks of television appearances was who would be his manager?

Established heel (villain) managers like Bobby Heenan and Mr. Fuji were shown vying for the right to guide the career of this new superstar, and when the announcement was made and an attractive but timid-looking woman, Miss Elizabeth, emerged as the "winner," it was a real stunner...but an intriguing one. The Beauty and the Beast act became one of the biggest things going in the WWF, and things took off from there.

I remember missing the show on which the news broke, but my aunt's then-boyfriend was over at our house, and we exchanged a little pro wrestling talk when I mentioned I watched it. I think I mentioned the ongoing saga about Savage's manager, and he said, "Oh, yeah, they showed that." "Who? Who was it?" I asked with youthful impatience. "Some CHICK," he replied. "Some hot chick."

I can remember puzzling over that one--who the heck was he talking about?--and also being a little amused, even as young as I was, at his terminology. But, hey, I was INTO that story, and that was the moment when I knew I really didn't want to miss the weekly TV. I had to keep up with this stuff!

The next key moment in my evolution as a pro wrestling fan was Savage's win of the Intercontinental title over Tito Santana. The heel Savage used a "foreign object" to injure and then pin Santana, and I was outraged that the decision stood. Oh, I understood that it was "fake," but even on the storyline level, I thought it was ridiculous that A) the referee missed it and that B) nothing could be done to correct the injustice because "the referee's decision was final." Even in those days before instant replay was so pervasive in professional sports, I thought that was an absurd policy, and I wasted way too much energy in frustration over how illogical pro wrestling was in its depiction of rules. I quickly realized I had to accept some of the conventions of the business--things like stupid referees being blind at convenient points in a match even though it strained credibility--or else I wouldn't be able to enjoy it at all.

As "smart" as I was to the business, though, I was still enough of a "mark" to get wrapped up in things and lose myself in the moment. One memorable moment, and as far as I can remember the last time I kind of had a vague doubt in the back of my head--is this stuff real sometimes?--was when Savage "ruptured the larynx" of Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat as part of their televised Intercontinental match on syndicated TV in Fall 1986.

Fortunately for me, I can relive this, one of my all-time favorite angles, through the magic of Dailymotion. Click here to see the match and memorable post-match attack the Macho Man executed on Steamboat's throat with the timekeeper's bell. Nowadays, Steamboat's animated selling of the injury might seem a little over the top, but when I watched this, I was blown away by how intense the whole thing was. Yeah, part of me wondered, hey, maybe this time it IS real!

That's the last time I thought that. It's sad in a way that I lost my innocence so early, but I was able to enjoy the spectacle of pro wrestling in many varieties--not just the WWF product--for years. Many of the action I enjoyed included Randy "Macho Man" Savage, who thrived as a superstar in the industry well into the late 1990s. Savage was a complex guy, and there are a lot of fascinating threads of his life, not all of them positive, but my most vivid memories today are of these 3 moments, a trio of incidents that helped shape my progression as a professional wrestling fan.

This Week in DVD

2011-05-20T21:33:00.001-04:00

The Rite: A thriller that explores the procedures of performing an exorcism. It's kind of like, you know, that elaborate ritual Anthony Hopkins undergoes when he takes a movie these days--the ritual known as "counting money."

The Mechanic: They went and remade yet another movie, this time with Jason Statham redoing the 1970s Charles Bronson action pic. I'm gonna write an angry post about this desecration...just as soon as I get around to seeing the 1970s Charles Bronson action pic.

The Roommate: Good news is, your new roommate is a dangerous psycho. Bad news is, she's Minka Kelly. Uh...what's the problem here?

"Your roommate is a maniac."
"So?"
"I think she might be planning to kill you."
"So?"
"No, seriously, she's bad--"
"Dude, it's MINKA KELLY."

Wait a minute. I just looked it up and discovered Minka is actually the normal one and Leighton Meester is the screwball. Uh, yeah, in that case, exit stage right, please.

Thor: Tales of Asgard: Another effort to tie into the motion picture currently in release, but unlike last week's live-action knockoff, this is a legit animated Marvel effort. I'm surprised we haven't seen someone put together "The Thora Birch Collection" for this month.

Avril Lavigne: The Whole Picture: Not to be harsh, but...how much of a picture can there be? That said, I like that recent video of hers which starts with her in her underwear for no real reason.

The Bionic Woman Season 2: I thought this show was gonna be a bigger deal than it has been, but maybe I'm in the minority. Got to tell you, though, I totally forgot this was even coming out on DVD. Speaking of forgetting, I saw a report on Tv Shows on DVD that Universal responded to customer complaints about subpar audio on an episode by pointing out the deterioration of the source material...or something like that. Did Universal "forget" to say something before a bunch of people bought the set?

Fun with TV Listings

2011-05-19T21:04:00.001-04:00

Just a few items I saw in the TV listings last week:

First off, an episode of "Miami Vice" called "Bad Timing" that aired on Centric. The description read:

"Crockett is ordered to take time off his job, only to have his vacation cut short when he is kidnapped by a group of homicidal prison escapees."

Darn, don't you just hate that? I hope Sonny bought travel insurance. Now, the "bad thing happens to the good guy while he's on vacation" is a common TV plot, but the absurdity of the coincidence coupled with the relative dryness of the episode description amused me.

Next up is a series that airs on Current. That's right, Current, the new home of Keith Olbermann. Remember when Current launched and was all social relevance that and awareness this and good citizen that?

Yeah, not so much anymore. Current started airing movies, and while for now some of them are actually good, but I think we all know a sure sign a channel is going downhill is when it suddenly adds movies.

But in addition to flicks like "Syriana" and "Good Night and Good Luck," Current apparently likes a reality series called "What Did I Do Last Night?" in which people see video clips of the stuff they did the night before when they were presumably wasted.

Yes, watch this show, which aired in a mini-marathon one weekday morning last week, and marvel as the subjects live up to some of these phrases from the episode descriptions:

"leave her inhibitions at the door"
"outlandish partying"
"paint the town red"
"shocking incident involving self-induced vomiting"
"she is sure to regret witnessing the following morning"
"embarrassing footage that is sure to shock her when she awakes in the morning."

Current: The new home of Keith Olbermann!

I haven't watched this series yet, I confess. Perhaps the sordid activity has some redeeming value. Maybe the participants promise to plant a tree or register a new voter for each time they see themselves hurling in a given episode.

Half-Assed Gourmet: Viva Los Taco Doritos!

2011-05-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

The other day, I'm in the local outpost of The Greatest Supermarket Chain Known to Mankind, Wegmans, when I see a nice-looking family--youngish mom and dad, two small children--holding a bag of Taco Doritos.

Yes, they're back--the junk food that coursed through my veins many an afternoon after school in the late eighties, often accompanied by Nestle Quik in my mug and pro wrestling on ESPN. Taco Doritos are available in a "limited edition" package that spotlights the classic orange and brown colors that made the bag of trans fats so distinctive back in the day.

So the mom takes the bag and says to her son, "Look. This is the same bag I had when I was young." Then she put the bag in the cart with a big smile on her face. I didn't see the kid's expression, but he may well have been thinking, "Uh...yeah, Mom. It's a BAG. Whoop-de-do."

I know that I had a smile on my face. Only in America, I mused, could the populace get nostalgic over a bizarre offshoot of a junky snack chip, and at least partly because of the packaging, to boot.

Yep, I chuckled about that...and then, of course, I blew right past that family to snatch my own bag. After all, I want to see if they taste the way I remember them...and the bag'll look pretty cool in my pantry. Besides, two bucks (on sale from an MSRP of 4 bucks--did I mention Wegmans is great?) is a small fee to pay for memories of decompressing after a rough day of school with some of my favorite guilty pleasures.

They should have just cast Tom Cavanaugh as Secretary Seward and made an "Ed" reunion

2011-05-16T20:00:00.000-04:00

Somehow Bob Redford's Lincoln assassination movie, "The Conspirator," flew right past me, making it to limited release with me barely even noticing it. I guess maybe that whole "limited release" thing is a factor. We also can't discount the "limited advertising" aspect of the situation, nor the "limited good reviews" that limited buzz.

Still, it sounds intriguing to me. It's a legal drama about the military trial of conspirator Mary Surratt. Redfords's film offers many appealing elements--Lincoln stuff, assasination stuff, Period Tom Wilkinson--but it also offers an apalling element:

Justin Long.

Nothing against Justin Long personally, or even professionally, really, but he is as out of place in a period film as I am in a hot tub with Drew Barrymore. Some might point to the inclusion of Alexis Bledel and Stephen Root as signs that Redford's casting isn't too canny in this picture, but Long stands out to me.

I mean, when I discovered that Long is not only in the movie but has a significant role as an "injured Civil War veteran," I laughed. I laughed for a good 20 seconds, which may not sound like much until you think about how long that really is for someone who is alone at the time.

Mocking laughter is not the kind of money response you want from the potential audience for a sober, provocative historical drama.

Bummer of the Week: No "Farmer's Daughter" for us

2011-05-15T14:44:00.000-04:00

(Editor's note: This was originally posted in different form last week but was swallowed whole by the Monster That Challenged Blogger. Even if it DID actually make it to the site for some length of time, the issues discussed here are just as timely today as they were 5 days ago--which is to say, not very.)

Lest you think this post title is setting up a new spin on a very old joke, let me get to the point: Antenna TV, which prior to its launch touted rarely rerun 1960s sitcom "The Farmer's Daughter" as a staple of its weekday vintage sitcom lineup, has finally confirmed that it will not be showing the series at all. This sad news comes after Antenna had assured us (and some bloggers had rather smugly reiterated) that it was only a matter of time until the show was coming and that it was a simple issue of waiting for Sony to convert the tapes and deliver them.

Well, when Antenna launched January 1 sans the Inger Stevens sitcom, many were skeptical that the show would ever really show up, and now, unfortunately, the skeptics are proven right. Antenna deserves credit for maintaining its commitment to some of the other goodies it promised--at least for now--and is in fact adding "Burns and Allen" Memorial Day weekend. That's a good thing. We'll apparently get "Circus Boy" and maybe some other rarities like the 1950s anthology that was initially announced, and that's good, good news. But vintage TV lovers had a real treat to look forward to in "Farmer's Daughter," and now it's gone.

Worse yet is the realization that if we didn't somehow tape it off CBN in the eighties, we may never see it (unless, of course, we take the risk of purchasing an *ahem* alternative set), because, well, look at why the show won't be on Antenna. According to the official Facebook page, it would have been too expensive to restore the tapes to broadcast quality. Steve Russo quickly replied by saying, look, tell it like it is: Nobody wants to spend the money on the project. By the way, Russo does a better job of disseminating info and responding to viewer inquiries than the official reps who run the RTV and Antenna Facebook pages; he ought to get some kind of bonus each month from their P.R. departments.

If Sony and Tribune aren't gonna spend the money needed to make the old tapes "watchable"--and here I might add that MY standard for watchable is surely a hell of a lot lower than Antenna's, considering the visual quality of stuff in my collection--who is? "Farmer's Daughter" had a great run in its day, and there is even some intrigue about it due to the sad fate of star Inger Stevens, but otherwise, I must admit it has little going for it in terms of name recognition, making a DVD release from a third party like MPI or Shout unlikely.

I also read some skepticism that Sony couldn't at least put together a limited "best of" package for Antenna, one that would feature the episodes that are in the best condition. That sounds to me like a decent enough compromise. Surely there's a respectable batch of airable installments in the 100 or so in the collection?

This week in DVD

2011-05-14T21:00:00.000-04:00

Blue Valentine: This critically acclaimed drama was praised for its emotional honesty and its unflinching look at the often brutal realities of adult relationships. That sounds depressing. Anyone know when more "Love American Style" is coming out on DVD?

The Illusionist: This is the little-seen but Oscar-nominated animated foreign film from last year, not the Paul Giamatti/Edward Norton film that seemed to be overshadowed by "The Prestige" several years ago. Just thought I'd point that out.

No Strings Attached: We were apalled when this lame-looking romcom with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher scored a $20 million first-place opening weekend early this year, but a quick check at Box Office Mojo shows it's made about $70 million total, while "Black Swan" has earned over $106 million. Score one for the good guys.

Justin Beiber: Never Say Never: This country successfully all but eradicated polio, whooping cough, and Jonas Brothers Mania. We can stamp out Beiber Fever, too, by staying away from movies like this.

Universal Vault titles: SIngle-disc retail releases of some gems that were previously available only in larger box sets. There's some good stuff in this batch like the neglected Preston Sturges/Dick Powell neglected "Christmas in July" and the W.C. Fields/Mae West pairing in "My Little Chicakdee." The cynic in me wants to ask why in tarnation it took so long to get distinct releases of these, the optimist in me is just glad they're here, and the cheapskate in me wishes they were free.

Almighty Thor: Hey, what do you know, this cheapo with Richard Grieco (not playing Thor, much to my regret) just happens to come out now. How 'bout that?

BraveStarr The Complete Series and Home Improvement: The Complete Collection: OK, the Tim Allen sitcom made more money, garnered more acclaim, and drew more viewers, but give me a complete set of the bizarre, kind of fun to watch in a certain spirit Filmation space western anytime. Seriously. And while you're at it, how about a copy of "Christmas in July"?

Webster Season 2: The little guy returns for a second season, and he's not even been relegated to Shout Select yet, the DVD equivalent of being sent to your room without supper. Wait, did that ever even happen to Web? I don't remember if he really ever acted up that much.

Wrestlemania XXVII: The latest installment of WWE's annual showcase comes to DVD. Ah, I remember the days when I hoped that the local video store would carry the latest Coliseum Video WWF tape. Nowadays, I know enough about the product to know that reading about it is enough. Why is it everything was better back then? I wasn't better back then. In fact, I was probably kind of annoying.

The Steven Seagal Collection: Not to say this is even being promoted as any kind of a big deal, but still, "Collection," though accurate, sounds too prestigious for a bunch of Seagal flicks. How about calling it something like, I don't know, "A Bunch of Seagal Flicks"?

In theaters this weekend

2011-05-14T10:31:00.001-04:00

Priest (in 3-D): In the near future, every movie will be in 3-D. Then, that gimmick having diminished, we will see the rise of 4-D movies. Then, after James Cameron makes a quadrillion bucks with his 4-D epic, we’ll see too many 4-D movies. I’ll just be hiding in my basement until it all blows over.

Bridesmaids: This is being marketed as “The Hangover” for women. I think we should all be wary of anything that markets itself as “The Hangover” for anybody…and judging from the ads, that includes “The Hangover 2.”

Cautionary tale

2011-05-14T10:24:00.003-04:00

So Blogger's sitewide outage affected many of us this week, and in my case I not only could not update, but I had a week's worth of posts wiped out--brilliant, incisive, witty posts; if I may so say, the work represented my best writing ever on the blog. And now it's gone--poof--just like that.

OK, it wasn't a week's worth of posts. It was one post. And it wasn't all that brilliant...or even exceptional, really. But it's still gone.

I think we should keep this in mind as we increasingly hear about the future of computing, with online media storage being pushed as a way to keep us from getting actual physical media. Apparently, even keeping files on our hard drives is going to be passe in the near future. In fact, I just got an e-mail from Amazon the other day touting the "cloud" service to store my media.

Well, what happens if the service goes down? What happens to my media then? Not being able to access it when I want to access it is bad enough (and as a Netflix user, I reserve the right to gripe just a little when I sit down to, you know, USE it, and the service is not working, though it will inevitably draw the ire of people who call that attitude "spoiled." Since when is asking to get what you pay for "spoiled"?), but what if that media is destroyed or just goes poof?

Let's keep that in mind, is all I'm saying. As for my missing post...well, you would have loved it. Trust me. Tell you what, think of something you want to read about, and we'll say that's what I wrote about and that you loved it.

In theaters this weekend: Thor and others

2011-05-08T14:20:00.001-04:00

Thor: The big movie this week also happens to be the first big movie of summer, and while summer is neither meteorologically nor calendarolgically here yet, just go with it, because you know a summer flick when you see it...or skip it.

I've been a comic reader off and on for decades, but my exposure to Thor has been limited. He was just never one of my favorite characters, although family lore has it that my father actually considered naming me Thor. My mother, the story goes, put the kibosh on it, but my dad insists he was never serious, and anyway, my sole source for this bit of lore IS Mom, so, well, who knows. Besides, I don't think I would have been named for the Marvel character, but rather the actual Norse God of Thunder Himself. Either way, let me take this opportunity on this Mother's Day to say...thank you, Mom, for saving me from that.

I don't know why the comic character never grabbed me as much as the other Marvel mainstays, but I just didn't collect his books on a regular basis, though I liked him as an Avenger. Forgive me, diehard Thor fans, but I just found the guy somewhat duller than, say, Shellhead or Winghead. Maybe he just talked too funny for little ol' Boy Shark, I don't know.

But if you remember those goofy 1960s "animated" shorts with the Marvel heroes, you think of the great theme songs--you know, "When Captain America throws his mighty shield..." or "Tony Stark makes you feel..." but what comes to mind when you think of the Thor cartoons? Just the end: "Mighty Thor!" Even his theme song was the blandest.

That plus the series of disappointments I endured year after year after anticipating comic book adaptations combines to give me kind of an "wait and see" attitude about this particular effort. I like much of the talent involved, like Anthony Hopkins and Natalie Portman, and the casting of Kat Dennings intrigues me as well, but this doesn't have a "must see" factor for me, nor even I "boy, I hope this is worth seeing" feeling. For me, the Green Lantern and Captain America movies are much more exciting, but I do hope that this one delivers.

Something Borrowed: Perhaps this turns out to be a fresh, innovative take on the genre, but I would think "Something Borrowed: is the last thing you want to name yet another romantic comedy.

Jumping the Broom: The title for this "urban" film comes from a wedding custom practiced in many African-American communities, but the practice apparently originated elsewhere. I've never seen anyone literally jumping a broom at a wedding. The more notable nuptials I've attended were more about "Tripping Down the Stairs." This followed the wedding custom known as "Rushing the Open Bar."

This Week in DVD

2011-05-06T15:30:00.000-04:00

The Dilemma: Back when I wrote about this movie in January, I was puzzled as to what the actual "dilemma" was. I mean, you see your buddy's woman cheating on him, you tell him, right? Unless of course, she's cheating with you. In that case, you're a real dog, man, and I don't want to share any witty commentary on DVDs with you. Well, that and I said pretty much everything I had to say about "The Dilemma" in that original post.

The Green Hornet: Uh-oh. Seems I wrote about "Hornet," too, in that same post. I'm getting to the point where the stuff I write about in the "In theaters this weekend" posts is showing up in the "This week in DVD posts." I'm either gonna have to scrap one of those concepts, work a lot harder to come up with new thoughts, or actually SEE these movies.

Hmm. Good-bye, one of these concepts!

Pre-Code Classics Double Feature: TCM Presents two early-1930s films, "This Is the Night" being one of them, notable for being the first picture of one Mr. Cary Grant. PSST! Sure, go buy the DVD and all, but TCM is running "Night" Sunday, May 15. See? I do offer some useful info around here.

According to Jim Season 3: The much-beleaguered sitcom that wouldn't die on ABC won't die on DVD, either. There must be a collective head-explosion happening going on at "Entertainment Weekly" offices this week.

The Virginian Season 4 and Wagon Train Season 3: PSST! Sure, go buy the DVDs and all, but Encore Westerns is running these oaters--what, everybody already knew? Oh, OK, in that case...Have I ever mentioned how much I like to use the term "Oater"? What can I say? Slow DVD week plus busy "me" week=what you're reading.

On the Radio: Sam Sham and the Pharoahs

2011-05-04T23:00:00.000-04:00

I was listening to the Solid Gold Oldies Music Choice digital TV channel the other day when a song by Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs came on. OK, some of you might be tempted to say "the" song by that band came on, and, yes, it was "Wooly Bully." But the group did have other hits, you know. It's just that not many of them get played on Solid Gold Oldies.

I was playing with my kids, but I was keeping an eye on the screen for the fun facts that pop up about the artists whose songs are played on the Music Choice channels when I saw a note that Sam the Sham's solo album was released in 1970.

Wait a minute. Sam the Sham had a solo album?

Nothing against the Pharoahs--and maybe I'm displaying a massive ignorance of the dynamics of the band--but were they such a strong force of negativity that Sam the Sham, wanting to try something different, had to get so fed up as to make an actual solo album? Couldn't he have just said, "OK, guys, we're gonna do a few non-novelty tracks this time out, all right?"

The two coolest things about the "Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends" episode I watched this weekend

2011-05-03T02:00:00.001-04:00

1) This is a constant in every episode: The Hulk poster directly over on the couch on which Peter Parker sits as the gang hangs out in their cool college pad during the opening.

For some reason, this gets me each time. Why would 3 superheroes, even if they're in college student mode, have a prominent Hulk poster in their apartment? I'm not sure offhand what Hulk's place in the Marvel universe was in 1981/1982. Maybe he was looked up to and admired at this point instead of being feared and scorned as a menace. But I doubt it. Even if he IS, isn't it kind of lame for Iceman, Firestar, and Spider-Man--3 powerful individuals in their own right--to slap a poster of another superhero on their wall? I mean, does Tom Brady keep a Peyton Manning 8x10 in his locker?

It's even more intriguing if Hulk is a menace at this time period in which "Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends" is set. If so, is this poster a sign of rebellion? Are the Amazing Friends expressing a little youthful counterculturalism by touting one of the most destructive threats mankind has ever known? Or are they expressing a little faux counterculturalism by putting the poster up in a conspicuous location so that unsuspecting visitors to their domicile will think, "Yeah, these are just typical, cool college students?"

2) The arcade in which Video Man is born: We could get into a long discussion about the story of this particular episode, a barnburner that spotlights the heinous villain The Gamesman, who exerts mind control over the citizens of New York through video game waves or something like that. There's also the lighthearted saga of a nebbishy master game player who is zapped while going for a high score and becomes Video Man, a force of blipic energy (a phrase I just invented) who has extensive powers but no superheroing experience.

That's all fun to watch, but what strikes me is a smaller detail: The numerous fake standup arcade games you can see people playing. There are generic titles like "Were Wolf" and parody titles like "Indiana Johnson." But my favorite by far is a takeoff on that 1980s classic that later gained new attention in a "Seinfeld" episode. You see, the youth in this episode do not play "Frogger," but instead they play...

"Flogger."

Now, unfortunately, we do not get even a glimpse of the screen, but part of me would love to see what kind of action the kids get into when standing in front of a game called "Flogger." The other part of me is actually a little terrified.

Brooks on Books: Arthur Marx's Groucho: A Photographic Journey

2011-05-01T10:00:00.001-04:00

Given the recent passing of Groucho Marx's son, comedy writer and biography author Arthur, I'd like to tout a great book I picked up last year on the cheap at a Barnes & Noble. I don't remember what the "Bargain Book" price was for it, but if you find it on the cheapo tables at your local book megastore (assuming one remains), pick it up. It's worth it.

Originally published in 2001, this gorgeous coffee table book (you ever notice how often coffee table books are "gorgeous"? You don't often hear about someone picking up a "gorgeous Tom Clancy paperback" in an airport, but if you hear someone describe a coffee table book WITHOUT using the word, you'd better steer clear of it) offers an assortment of Arthur's personal photos of Groucho and various notables. Throughout, Groucho appears both in costume and out, both in character and, say, playing ping-pong with his kids.

Simply put, it's a must-read for any Groucho fan. Arthur's text is sparse but effective at providing context for all these wonderful photos. I could spend a paragraph or two describing how cool it is to see shots like those of The Hollywood Victory Caravan, a wartime touring outfit featuring Jimmy Cagney, Cary Grant, Pat O'Brien, and others along with Groucho. But really, just get the book.

Arthur did a great job at putting this material together, but perhaps a good portion of the credit should go to "Editor" Frank Ferrante. I'm not sure how much Ferrante actually did, but the man's Groucho bona fides are impeccable; he has rightfully received acclaim for his one-man show performing as the legend.

If you read this post here, or this one, you might wonder how Arthur could have even put a few words together, let alone produce an awesome book. Mark Rothman has a long resume--I respect him just for working on "The Odd Couple"--and his blog is a lot of fun because he pulls no punches. But, man, he savages Arthur Marx in these two posts. Worth a read unless you're automatically opposed to the idea of ripping someone so recently deceased.

Well, hack or no hack, Arthur Marx was at least involved with Groucho: A Photographer's Journey," and I love it. I'll admit I haven't gotten around to reading any of his other books, but this one is good enough to earn nothing but nice words from me today.

This week and last week in DVD

2011-04-23T14:30:00.001-04:00

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1: I'm still two movies behind on this franchise, but I feel better about that when I think that I'm still ALL books behind. If I start reading them now, maybe I can catch up by the time the movie comes out. Or I could take them TO the last movie, which I'm sure will be long enough for me to plow through a few thousand pages/

Country Strong: Gwyneth Paltrow, not content to be a mere actress/lifestyle expert/pop singer, adds COUNTRY CHANTEUSE to her resume. Is there anything Gwynnie can't do...other than win an invite to a Mayberry marathon at Rancho Yesteryear?

The King's Speech: You know, I JUST realized that the title is a pun in that ol' Kingy has to give a speech, but the movie is also about his speech impediment. I'd like to think part of me realized that all along on some level, but still, bear that in mind as you read my opinions on these movies.

The Way Back: Colin Farrell, Ed Harris and friends escape a gulag and walk a long, long way to freedom. OK, so let me see. It's called "The Way Back" because...it's a backbreaking task to walk thousands of miles? Or because they are...going back? Uh, what about "Way?" Let me see, the trip "weighs" heavily on them? OK, I'm stumped. I just can't figure out the pun in this title.

Gulliver's Travels: Jack Black is a guy who goes to a land of little people and towers over the population as a giant. Kind of like the opposite of his career path lately.

Rabbit Hole: Ncioe Kidman and Aaron Eckhart grieve over the loss of their young son in what sounds like the most depressing release of 2010...except maybe "MacGruber." Seriously, that got made?

Car 54 Where Are You Season 1: I talked about the sillier aspects of this release last week, but for now let me praise the show itself, an underrated classic that merits a spot in any classic TV lover's library.

Definitive Tracy/Hepburn Collection: A lot of the same stuff you've already seen, plus a few new-to-DVD to rook you into buying the whole big set. This is typical, Warner Brothers! Talk about the definitive GREED of a company! I mean, making fans buy--

What? You can buy "Keeper of the Flame" and "Sea of Grass" separately? You DON'T have to buy the whole set and endure multiple double-dips to get them?

Never mind.

Bob Hope Collection II: Shout Factory delivers another set of Hope's films, and these ones are clearly in the "less-beloved" part of the ledger, but that's no excuse for Shout to issue cropped versions of widescreen films, as an Amazon review indicates. I don't want to get ahead of myself like on that Hepburn and Tracy thing, but considering Volume ONE had issues, too, I am inclined to trust this review.

Jews and Baseball: What a great title. Add "egg creams" and t would be, like, Larry King's dream documentary. Seriously, though, I saw this on PBS a few weeks ago, and, uh, it lived up to its title. It's a cool flick.

Ernie Kovacs Collection: Big box set of TV pioneer Kovacs' work from the Golden Age of Television (or thereabouts). When I say it's too rich for my blood right now, it doesn't mean that this fantastic-looking set isn't worth the hefty price tag. It just means I have a family and a mortgage. But, yeah, it is pretty expensive--50 bucks at Amazon, 55 plus shipping direct from Shout if you want an exclusive bonus disc.

My wife reads "People" so you don't have to: Sweet Valley update

2011-04-19T12:28:00.004-04:00

"People" spotlights "Sweet Valley Confidential" as its "Buzz Book" in the book section of its April 18 issue, and if you think I'm going to mock that selection, well, you're wrong. I mean, give "People" credit for even having a book section, and besides, a lot of its readers may well be interested in what the "Sweet Valley High" twins are up to in this "series reboot" from author Francine Pascal.

(Before you ask, I have no vested interest in the franchise. I had a passing familiarity with the series through my little sisters...and of course the haunting theme song to the TV series).

What amuses me is the way the mag summarizes how the characters have changed, in a paragraph titled..."How They've Changed":

They're on Facebook and listen to Beyonce.

Is this all it takes to denote "modern women" these days? Perhaps this is just "People's" shorthand speaking and not an accurate reflection of how Pascal has updated her characters, but I don't know, that sounds a little shallow and generic. I just had to laugh at the thought of an author hunched over her keyboard, straining to connect with today's 27-year-old and reconcile who her famous twins should be with her readers' conceptions of who they were. "I got it! They listen to Beyonce! And they'll use Facebook a lot!"

Then, in the paragraph titled "Should You Read It," "People's" Clarissa Cruz writes:

"Sweet Valley Confidential" is poorly written and out of touch...and the characters have gotten even more oblivious and superficial with age. But if you once devoured "Sweet Valley" books like bonbons, it's a confection you won't be able to resist."

Hmm. Sounds an awful lot to me like, "If you're still lightweight enough to have read the lightweight stuff you read as a teen, you'll eat this up. " Maybe "People" isn't as benevolent to its audience as I thought.

Oh, and elsewhere in this issue, we learn Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher attended Reese Witherspoon's wedding. Why? I don't know. "People" can't answer everything for you, you know. Sometimes you gotta do a little research yourself.

The shocking final season of "Hazel"

2011-04-18T08:00:00.002-04:00

Well, it's shocking to ME to see good ol' domestic engineer extraordinaire Hazel serving someone other than the Baxters. Oh, they call themselves "the Baxters," this 3-piece family Hazel and Harold move in with for the series' fifth and final season, but they are a weak substitute for the real deal, George, AKA Mr. B; and Dorothy, AKA Missy.

As Antenna TV winds up its first complete cycle of the series, I think it's fair to say that fifth season ain't getting any better. I've seen a good batch of these episodes, and while I enjoy them because it's still Hazel and because I've never seen them before, it just isn't the same. I find myself watching Mr. B's brother Steve, his wife Barbara, and their non-entity daughter Susie, and demanding the return of MY Baxters.

Susie is not the problem, as she means very little one way or the other, though in one episode I saw, she was terrorizing the family cat, wrecking Hazel's meals, and generally showing signs of a budding young sociopath. As for the women of the show, well, Lynn Borden as Barbara is gorgeous; Whitney Blake as Dorothy is...Meredith Baxter's mom. Fact is, the show never gave Dorothy much that was interesting to do, so she isn't conspicuous by her absence.

The REAL loss of season 5 is, of course, Mr. B. Nobody does "taken aback" like Don DeFore, and his quiet exasperation at Hazel's antics led to a handful of great sitcom actor "takes" in every single episode. As Steve Baxter, Ray Fulmer has a pleasant enough Dick-Sargentesque presence, but compared to DeFore he is--forgive me--a scrub.

One of the worst things about the "transition" from season 4 to season 5 is that the Baxters (the real ones, that is) leave off camera, and it's left to Hazel to tell the audience, via a convo with her busybody friend Rosie, what happened to force this jarring change. It's kind of funny, actually, because one by one, the two Sunshine Girl cohorts cover just about all the questions the audience has about what's going on. I know because my wife sat down with me to watch this one, and when I told her what was going to happen, she started peppering me with queries. I'm not saying Hazel answers them in a satisfying way, but she does answer them.

George and Dorothy, we learn, went to the Middle East for business. As far as Hazel knows (or is willing to tell Rosie), Mr. B is doing big-shot corporate lawyer stuff, blah blah blah. Personally, I believe he is conducting covert ops for a quasi-governmental "security" organization, which explains why he leaves the States so quickly and ditches his son. Ostensibly, Harold stays behind to "finish his schooling," and I realize American-style schooling may not have been as sophisticated in the 1960s as it is today, but still...COME ON! Harold's not in some kind of fast-track advanced college prep system, and he's not exactly Albert Einstein, besides, so one wonders why the Baxters are so eager to strand him in the USA. Perhaps after years of sharing living quarters with an inquisitive boy and an intrusive maid, George and Dorothy just want a little "us" time. Mr. B, you DOG, you!

For her part, Hazel stays behind because she can't bear to leave little Harold...or the Baxters threatened to auction her to a decrepit emir's harem if she tagged along, take your pick. Now, after hours of research at the Paley Center and the Library of Congress (not really, but that sounds better than "I looked at an online message board), I have discovered that behind the scenes, the Baxters were basically canned for financial reasons, and Shirley Booth soldiered on for this one last year before ending the show due to her own declining health. Even in season 5, we see an attempt to shift attention to some other characters, and we see less of Hazel's superhuman feats of skill, like kicking a football or bashing a gangster over the head with a frying pan.

This all makes more sense than the notion that someone thought it was a good idea creatively to replace DeFore and Blake, or that Booth pulled a power play and replaced them with some nonthreatening, less interesting players. Looks like it was just one of those stupid decisions. CBS did get one more season out of "Hazel," and because of Booth's health, any more would have been unlikely, anyway. That fifth season is easily the weakest, but it's worth a look just for the novelty value.

The unrecognizable Ann Jillian (only recognizable because I saw her in the cast listing) has a regular role, too, as realtor Steve's secretary. George's annoying sister shows up again as a foil for Hazel, too, which points out one of the show's problems at this point: The chemistry between Hazel and Steve just isn't there, which is of course in stark contrast to the Hazel/George relationship which drives previous seasons. There is a half-hearted attempt early on to position Steve Baxter as someone who will go toe to toe with Hazel, or at least try to, but predictably he fails, and Hazel soon becomes "one of the family." This was true with Mr. B, too, and no one ever really thought the two were truly at each other's throats, but at least they went through the motions and enjoyed playing the game. Steve isn't even in the same league.

So without DeFore, without even the way-overexposed Mr. Griffin, season 5 strains to provide that ol' Hazel magic. It's probably best that it's the last season. I would like to see a sixth season in which Mr. B dramatically returns and announces the family must go underground to avoid a congressional subpoena, but that will have to remain a figment of my imagination.

Brooks on Books: "The Bad Guys Won" by Jeff Pearlman

2011-04-17T15:27:00.001-04:00

The Bad Guys Won by Jeff Pearlman: Pearlman tells the story of the world champion 1986 new York Mets, and he tells it with gusto. The Mets were a hard-drinking, hard-partying, even hard-drugging team that spent the whole season backing up its swagger. In other words, yeah, the bad guys won, thanks in part (but by no means BECAUSE of--don't forget the wild pitch, folks, and besides, it was game 6, not game 7) Bill Buckner's infamous mishandling of Mookie Wilson's grounder to first.

There is soooo much more to that '86 season than even that notable World Series, though, like the classic NLCS showdown with the Astros, who featured dominant scuffballer Mike Scott and were really in the Mets' heads. Speaking of Houston, there was a scuffle several players had with cops at an area bar during the season. There was the idiocy of the "Let's Go, Mets Go" video. There were brawls, pranks, home runs, strikeouts, and all kinds of action on and off the field. Pearlman focuses on the off the field stuff, and he produces a wild, often hilarious book.

One thing must be said about the author: He's a complete wise ass, and I don't mean that in a negative way. The whole book is written in a tone that isn't exactly confrontational, but which certainly makes no excuses for this team of characters. Pearlman's prose is biting, and his comments sharp, but he backs up his tone with the incredible stories he offers. If you're expecting a scholarly, detached tome summarizing the '86 Mets, look elsewhere; if you relish the idea of a guy clearly having fun while recounting the wild times of a chaotic club, here you go.

I was a Mets fan back then. In my defense, I grew up on steady helpings of Yankees and Mets games on TV in addition to my beloved Pirates, so I pretty much rooted for the teams I saw all the time (Thank goodness we didn't get TBS in my area until later). Plus this team was exciting, colorful, and fun to watch. Pearlman's account does the '86 Mets justice. He doesn't try to reinvent the slider or anything. His narrative is a fairly straightforward chronological telling of the season, with appropriate sidebars when necessary to fill in some info. Fans will love this book, and by now it's hardly news that the team had some miscreants, so they needn't worry about having their innocence shattered. Non-Mets fans should enjoy laughing with Pearlman unless they hate the team so much they can't stand to even read such a cynical book about them.

UPDATES on previous posts

2011-04-14T22:33:00.005-04:00

To get maximum enjoyment out of this post, each time you see the word "UPDATE," please read it out loud the way Dennis Farina barked "UPDATE" for the added material he recorded to tack onto older segments during his "Unsolved Mysteries" reboot.

UPDATE Antenna TV will indeed bring out those older shows: A lot of us classic TV lovers, jaded by the shabby treatment given us by TV Land, felt queasy when Antenna launched without some of the true rarities that had been promised as part of the initial lineup. Well, the ever-informative Pavan of the indispensable Sitcoms Online news blog reported last week that "Burns and Allen," "Circus Boy," "The Iron Horse," and "Rin Tin Tin" really are coming at the end of May, along with more recent/less rare additions "Soap" and "Mad About You."

Pavan reported this on the site's message boards with maybe a wee bit of unseemly self-satisfaction, especially considering us skeptics weren't doubting HIS integrity so much as Antenna's genuine commitment to showing the rare and vintage. I don't think it's an unreasonable approach to say "we'll wait and see" with regards to this programming service, especially given that it is showing edited episodes of everything. Still, thanks to Sitcoms Online for setting the record straight, and thanks to Antenna for freshening its lineup without dumping anything of consequence ("The Nanny" will not be missed in my household). There are a lot of changes, though, and "Hazel" is getting booted to the wee hours, but, hey, change isn't always a bad thing, and "Hazel" is on the verge of completing a full run in the next few days or so.

The only disappointing aspect of this news is that we still have to wait for "Farmer's Daughter" and "Ford Theatre," two other shows postponed from that January launch--the two I may have been most excited to see. Antenna assures us they are coming as soon as they get usable tapes from Sony, and I will say this news certainly gives me confidence that they mean it. We'll just have to wait.

UPDATE RTV's Facebook page is back up: Well, not exactly "back up," as the old one was nuked and replaced with a new one. A few weeks back, I speculated that the demise of the network's Facebook outpost was due to company incompetence, but RTV reports it was a Facebook screw-up. Hmm, very strange. But I owe RTV an apology, and I welcome them back to social media.

Unfortunately, I'm not linking to the new Facebook page because...I can't find the damn thing! It may well still be there, but I spent 5 minutes hunting for it without success, and since that's about 4 minutes 57 seconds longer than it should take to locate a page for a major media company, I'm wondering if there are some kind of shenanigans occurring again. But I DID see it last week. Honest, I did.

***UPDATE to the UPDATE: A kind soul provided the link in the comments below, and kinder yet, did not add, "How could you have not found this, you idjit?" So thanks to that individual, and in case someone sees this post but not that comment, click here to get to the new, still somewhat undertrafficked RTV Facebook page.

Oh, and my local RTV affiliate carried the same schedule over to the second quarter, meaning no "Kojak." I don't hear any word about RTV freshening up its offerings, either.

UPDATE Not exactly an update to a previous post, but an update to a post I didn't actually produce: Ivan at Thrilling Days of Yesteryear wrote an entertaining review of "Sing and Like It," a fun little picture recently screened on TCM. I had thought about writing something about the movie myself, but Ivan did it first and surely better, and you should go read it if you haven't yet done so.

All I'll add is that any film with Nat Pendelton, Ned Sparks, John Qualen, and Edward Everett Horton is a must-see in my book, and that while I don't want to condone the roughing around of Pert Kelton performed by Pendelton's character, Pert IS tougher than the Saturday "Times" crossword in this movie and is even more menacing than he is.

UPDATE Budget DVD Theater to return to Cultureshark after all?: I'm almost too embarrassed to bring this up (and notice I'm burying it at the bottom of a lengthy post), but, uh, remember around the holidays--sadly, I don't mean St. Patrick's Day, either--when I touted the return of the occasional Budget DVD Theater feature with a fresh look at one of the worst things I had ever seen?

Well, it's been a while, yes, and I've been busy, but I DID see the material in question. Odd thing was, it wasn't nearly as bad as I remembered. Oh, it wasn't great, but I found myself kind of understanding what it was going for and appreciating it on some level. So this kind of killed my enthusiasm for writing about it because, hey, if you can't go on your blog and make bitchy comments about something, what's the use, right?

But I do feel the need to revisit it at some point, and now that the second little shark in the family is getting older and life is getting a bit more routine at Cultureshark Tower, I do intend to bring back the feature. Uh, no promises as to when, though.

Car 54, Which Episode Are You?

2011-04-13T23:23:00.005-04:00

I'm not sure why this story on TV Shows on DVD amuses me so much. I think it's just a general sense that it seems so...unprofessional for a company to do business like this.

I'm happy that Shanachie Entertainment is giving us Nat Hiken's great "Car 54, Where Are You?" on DVD, with apparently uncut episodes, and I hope to upgrade my *ahem* set, but there is at least one odd thing about this week's season 1 release. The episodes are arranged in neither production order, nor airdate order, but, according to this news item, in order of "popularity," this after supposed consultation with "historians and buffs" yielded the opinion that that would be the "most attractive presentation."

First of all, in order of popularity? This isn't choosing sides in junior high dodgeball, it's producing a DVD set of a television program. Once someone owns the discs, they can program them in any order they wish, so why predetermine it for them? Just put them on in some coherent arrangement, like, you know, 99% of other complete TV season sets.

Besides, this is an old show that hasn't been in heavy circulation lately, and how many people are able to rank the episodes, anyway? So not only is the idea itself silly, but the execution is surely suspect.

I'm curious to know who the historians and buffs are who told Shanachie, "Ooh! Ooh! Let's put them in order of popularity!" One would think most of those individuals would want some kind of semblance of historical accuracy in the presentation of the shows.

Even if it is a more "attractive" presentation this way, what exactly is the harm in presenting the episodes in chronological order? Like someone who makes the effort to find and purchase this set is going to open it up, put in the first disc, and go, "Hey, these aren't the best episodes! I'm taking this thing back." And it's not like the earliest episodes stink or anything. They're really funny!

I'm glad this company produced this set, and I hope season 2 makes it out as promised, but this decision, while admittedly not the biggest deal in the world, all things considered, is baffling.