Should You Watch: Swingtown

At first, I assumed CBS thought its new period drama about partner-swapping couples in the seventies was pretty edgy. But now I think it thought it was pretty dull and just burned it off in the Summer, where the usual chorus of morality watchdogs might pay less attention. You know what? CBS was right. I don't see how this premise could sustain itself over a whole season. After all, the main couples got into the sack together at the end of the very first episode.

Maybe if this were on pay cable and had some actual nudity instead of just tight closeups spotlighting someone's face in the middle of what is supposed to be an orgy, someone could get excited about this. As it is, there's not much to see here, folks, though the cast is pretty good and gamely tries to make it work. "Period detail" apparently means playing the same overplayed radio songs we've heard for the last 30 years. Didn't swingers have a more varied record collection?

You should watch "Swingtown" if:

*You never saw "The Ice Storm"...or any other movie that depicted suburbia in the 1970s.
*You don't have a classic rock radio station in your area.
*You're intrigued by the idea of Jack Davenport losing his English accent.
*You're just flat-out nostalgic for the Bicenntennial.
*You're nostalgic for recreational drugs.
*You think, hey, it's about damn time Grant Show had another hit show.
*You're monitoring it for a right-wing media watchdog.

Should You Watch: The Return of Jezebel James

How funny does this phrase sound: Asherman's Syndrome?

Sounds like a real riot, doesn't it? Anything with the word "syndrome" in it is sure to bring down the mood a bit, and yet the new Fox sitcom "The Return of Jezebel James" uses it prominently as one of its core premises. Star Parker Posey is a book editor who can't conceive a child because, well, she has something called Asherman's Syndrome.

This is a device to get Posey to reunite with her prodigal sister, the one whose lifestyle she has always disapproved, and ohbytheway ask her to carry her child for her. It's a contrived premise, and the fact that the sister (Lauren Ambrose) decides in the span of minutes in the premiere episode doesn't make it any more convincing.

Or funny, for that matter. You see, while you might not expect the phrase "Asherman's Syndrome" to be conducive to laughter, you COULD reasonably expect the presence of show creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, late of "Gilmore Girls" to gaurantee some laughs. Unfortunaely, the two episodes I endured, er, watched with my wife were almost totally laugh-free. In this day of 21-22 minute "half-hour" programs on network TV, it's a really bad sign when one drags like this one.

Posey's sharp-witted, intelligent screen persona might seem a natural fit for the trademark snappy repartee from the creative force behind Lorelai and Rory Gilmore's banter, but "Jezebel James" offers nothing at all like that. I don't know for sure if it's the weakness of the scripts, Posey being a tad too shrill and nervy to carry a sitcom, or a combination, but it all comes off flat in this series.

The dialogue is often as contrived as the plot. For example, when Posey's sister walks into her office for the first time ever, Posey's assistant admires her and unrealistically says, "I want her to have my baby," merely so that Posey can reply with something like, "You'll have to wait in line."

So why SHOULD one watch this program? Well, you should watch "The Return of Jezebel James" if...


*You are nostalgic for the 1990s, when Parker Posey was in seemingly every other indie film released in more than a dozen theaters.
*You're still in denial about "Gilmore Girls" being off the air.
*You're still in denial about the creator of "Gilmore Girls" being off the show.
*You have a rigid policy of supporting comedy programs with laugh tracks. (The show looked and felt like it could, maybe should be sans laugh track, and when it sported one, I have to admit, I was thrown off)
*You're a huge fan of Peter Sarsgaard and always hoped he'd do series TV. He still doesn't, and he's not in this show, but the guy they have playing Posey's assistant sure looks and talks like him.

Should You Watch: Cashmere Mafia

Let's make this one easy: No. No, you should not watch "Cashmere Mafia."

Oh, I was planning to log on here and make a series of snide comments about why people would watch this new ABC show. Of course I would refer to the fact that we don't need a "Sex and the City" revival. I naturally would point out NBC has its own "Sex and the City" ripoff, "Lipstick Jungle," coming in several weeks and that this is surely overkill.

But why bother? I didn't plan to watch the pilot, but it was on after "Desperate Housewives." About 5 minutes into the show, I was checking out a magazine.

But I'm not the target audience for this show, as I'm a straight guy who can't make it through a half-hour of "Sex and the City," let alone an hour of a wanna-be.

HOWEVER, my wife is a woman and has enjoyed the exploits of "Carrie and Co." in the past. So when she declared a mere 7 minutes into the show, "This is stupid," I took note. I decided right there not to bother making a sarcastic list of reasons to watch "Cashmere Mafia." It's stupid. Don't bother.

Should You Watch: Back to You

I didn't think too highly of most of this fall's new TV shows, and that was even before I saw them. But I had at least middling hopes Fox's Wednesday sitcom "Back to You" would be worthwhile. I like Kelsey Grammer, I like Fred Willard, and I don't lose control of my faculties when Patricia Heaton comes on the screen. Plus, the whole package was put together and executed by a group of seasoned old pros like director James Burrowes.

But maybe everyone was involved too seasoned, because Back to You played out to me like just another tired TV show. I know many people are so starved for sitcoms nowadays they rejoice at the sight of any traditional kind of TV comedy, but really, folks, we can't give a pass to stuff like this just because it's not a reality show.

I laughed a few times during the pilot and thought Grammer's character--an arrogant news anchor coming back to the "small market" of Pittsburgh to co-host the local newscast--had potential. Then at the end of the episode came a maudlin plot twist involving the daughter he never knew he had, a child who, by the way, belongs to his former colleague and current co-anchor. Oooookay, that's contrived enough, but the sappy way this was handled really worried me, and not just because it was totally out of place with the ribald 20-some minutes that preceded it. No, it looked like Back to You was already straining not just to entertain us, not just to be funny, but--and this can be trouble, folks--to have heart.

With reservations, I came back for the second episode. That sentimental streak was gone, but it was replaced by a terrible plot. See, Kelsey's anchor wanted to prove to Heaton's character that he was now responsible enough to take care of a child. So he wound up making a big show of petsitting a goldfish and--see this one coming?--the goldfish died, so hijinks ensued as he tried to hide that from her.

Seriously, wasn't that plot done before in...every single TV show with a regular character under 15? And "Back to You" didn't mine laughs out of the hoary premise by emphasizing how silly it was that an adult was in this situation. It just gave us a silly situation. That was enough for me, and I haven't come Back to It.

But maybe there's something in it for you. You should watch "Back to You" if:

*You love so-called traditional sitcoms. You've never actually seen any of them, so you won't mind seeing them all rehashed, but you just know you love 'em.
*You love seeing Patricia Heaton exchange risque barbs and then calling her a hypocrite because of her well-known conservative politics.
*You've been around the country and relocated several times, but you've never found any city quite as warm and charming as Pittsburgh.
(*The fact that the show says it's in Pittsburgh is enough local flavor for you.)
*You'll watch Fred Willard in anything, even if he's only 4% of the whole thing.
*You feel Mary Tyler Moore left a lot of unanswered comic questions in its portrayal of local news.
*You treasure your complete run of Comedy Central's Man Bites Dog that you transferred to DVD this summer.

Should You Watch? Kid Nation

I didn't have a burning desire to see this one. Sure, I was into "Lord of the Flies" like everyone else when we read it in high school--I remember "get his nob" being a particular source of fascination and amusement for obvious reasons--but seeing it recreated today? Eh, not much fun. I generally don't enjoy kids being mean to kids as much as adults being mean to bratty kids, and even then, the thrill is gone since Sally Jessy Raphael left the airwaves and took Sgt. Darryl Julu with her.

But "Kid Nation" had the hype and the pub and the promise of seeing dozens of child welfare laws being broken before my very eyes, so I watched the first episode.

It took minutes to realize this was not a groundbreaking new series. Nor was it a valid social experiment. Nor was it even that shocking, really.

No, it was just another B.S. reality show. You know what that means: contrived situations, phony scripted dialogue, leading editing--all in the guise of "reality." It's not for me, and so i was bored with this show even before the first scene of a child crying--and then I was just repulsed.


You Should Watch "Kid Nation" if:


*You're STILL not tired of the "Real World" and "Survivor" reality show formulas.
*You think "those damn kids have it too easy these days."
*You just flat-out hate children.
*Your favorite movie is "Bugsy Malone."
*It is your firm belief that the networks need to recapture the tween audience from Disney and Nick, and you think supporting this show is a good start.
*You think those Upton Sinclair novels are real knee-slappers.
*You'd love to re-live your childhood for an hour each week...if your childhood consisted of stage-managed events being filmed for broadcast all day long.

Should You Watch? K-Ville

What better way to pay tribute to the folks who suffered through the events associated with Hurricane Katrina than to crank out a generic cop show that emphasizes not only the crime, but the corrupt institutions in New Orleans? In lieu of a direct donation to relief efforts in 2007, Fox has made its contribution with "K-Ville," a not-so-good show about a black cop/white cop team who go up against all sorts of forces while finding out how mismatched they are, blah, blah, blah.

I only watched the pilot of "K-Ville," and while I found the New Orleans setting novel, the attempt to be stylish in the shooting of the city really took away from some of that and made the episode look like just another wanna-be edgy crime show. That is particularly bad news since the story elements of that debut were so generic that the hour certainly didn't stand out THAT way. There's no reason a show can't use this city and its issues as a backdrop, but there's no reason it can't be a good show.

I really didn't find anything terrible about "K-Ville," but nothing made me want to return there. But maybe you're different.

You Should Watch "K-Ville" If:

*You feel guilty about not sending any money to Katrina relief--not guilty enough to send any money now, mind you, but enough to want to "raise your awareness" by watching a cop show.
*The idea of Anthony Anderson: Supercop makes you run to the store to get nachos and beer to settle in for a night of TV.
*You have no problem distinguishing Cole Hauser from Josh Lucas. Or Rutger Hauer, for that matter.
*You recently "sounded off" to "TV Guide" about the appalling lack of cop shows in primetime TV.
*You're desperate for something that's making New Orleans look worse than the Saints are right now.
*You hate Roger Clemens, think "K-Ville" is about him, and curse Fox for giving him a show. Then you can tune in and be pleasantly surprised.

Should You Watch? GSN's Grand Slam

You can't assume Game Show Network--excuse me, GSN--is going to deliver a decent new program. You can't even assume they'll keep delivering decent old new programs anymore, as there's always the threat that something cool like "Match Game" will be yanked for "Dog Eat Dog."

What a pleasant surprise, then, to find a quality original GAME SHOW game show on there. Grand Slam is a multi-episode single-elimination tournament featuring 16 of the biggest money winners in game show history in a series of head-to-head contests. The game play is fast and exciting, combining trivia, logic, wordplay, and math in a dramatic setting in which players try to avoid letting their personal clocks run out. It's mostly answering questions, but there is just enough strategy, like a "switch" option that lets players pass a question to their opponent, to vary it up a bit.

It's a solid game, and the entertainment value goes way up if you recognize the competitors. Yes, Ken Jennings is here, along with Brad Rutter (who cleaned Ken's clock in the Ultimate Jeopardy Tournament of Champions) and that obnoxious guy who was the first big winner on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" Game show junkies should love seeing familiar faces like Thom McKee of 'Tic Tac Dough" one more time.

Even non-addicts can take pleasure in it, though. It's quite easy to play along at home, though these sharp customers might beat most people to the draw. It's still fun watching them get it done, though. Plus there is that great equalizer known as "math," which humbles quite a few trivia geniuses.

The production values are decent, the show is well paced, and--oh, yes, there are hosts. An unseen voice reads the questions without frills, but throughout the game, we are treated to the banter between co-hosts Dennis Miller and Amanda Byram. Miller has some things going on now, but he spews out the obscure references as if he's been out of a steady gig for a lot longer than he actually has. Hey, I stuck up for the guy when he did Monday Night Football, but here he's trying a bit too hard. Byram reacts with good humor, although even she just said, "Huh?" at one point in the first episode.

As for Amanda Byram, she is a real find here. She's classy (maybe it's just the Irish accent), attractive, and full of insight about the matches. Amazingly, Byram treats this contest as a legitimate competition--an attitude seldom seen in game shows anymore. She breaks down the match-ups with intelligence but never goes overboard. You mean to tell me SHE was the one who hosted The Swan?

Miller contributes with a few good lines and with his candor in describing the action, letting Byram sum up the stats while he points out if a player is bombing out there. Thankfully, they stay out of the way during the actual game play.

Grand Slam is just that for GSN. It's an exciting game show that has fun while still taking itself seriously. I'll be watching this when I can, though since it's that rare GSN original that isn't on 80 times a week, I think I already missed a few episodes.

You should watch “Grand Slam” if:

*You just transferred your deteriorating VHS copies of the 1988 Jeopardy Tournament of Champions to DVD.
*You still boycott CNBC because they gave Dennis Miller “a raw deal” on his last talk show.
*You like watching contestants actually think in order to earn their winnings.
*You enjoy seeing Jeopardy braniacs sweat a little at the prospect of solving equations on national TV.
*You knew Thom McKee was on Tic Tac Dough before I mentioned it.