Dream Theater (guest-starring John C. Reilly)

Time once again for "Dream Theater," in which I share an actual dream I had recently. Play psychoanalyst at home!

I apologize for not remembering more of this one. I was at some kind of college-type setting, at least something like a dorm with communal living, and John C. Reilly showed up as himself. He wasn't playing a role, but rather just hanging out.

I don't know what his purpose was, but I know what his actions were. He soon lay down on his belly with his legs kicked up behind him and started leafing through some kind of etiquette book, almost as if he were a bobbysoxer checking out Fabian pictures in a teen mag. For reasons known only to him and my deepest subconscious, he started rattling off questions like, "Hey, what wine would go well with that? What kind of meal would you serve in this case?" I think there were less specific queries in there as well, something about guest combinations.

Now, I stress here, John (After sharing a dream with him, I'm comfortable calling him that) wasn't being a jerk about it, but I don't think he was looking for info, either. I got the impression he was testing me in a playful sort of way.

Unfortunately, I didn't know anything, and I finally stopped him and said in a good-natured tone, "What's the deal? You come over here, and all you want to do is ask entertaining trivia. It's not even entertaining trivia, but trivia about entertaining." Not a bad line if I say so myself, or at least I was proud of it in the dream. John looked around and chuckled with a big smile on his face, as if to say, "Yeah, you got me." Then I woke up.

I don't know what any of this means, but I will say the whole episode somehow reinforced my belief that it would be really cool to hang out with John C. Reilly.

Dream Theater: Just Say No

So last night, I had an odd dream, one in which I told Keith Urban, "Dude, you really need to straighten out and get off the drugs, man, like Jimmy Wayne says."

That's pretty much all I remember about this particular vision, but I still find it notable enough that I remember it today. Now, what does this dream mean? It could be that I am worried about the influence of controlled medication on my wife as she recovers from delivering our child. It could be my subconscious is eager to take on the complex relationship between illegal drug use and artistic output. Or it could be my brain just wants Keith Urban to lay off the drugs, dude.

NOTE: The Cultureshark legal department would like to take this opportunity to stress that this post in no way alleges that in real life Mr. Urban is now or has ever been under the influence of any kind of illegal substance. The Cultureshark legal department has seen the tabloids, though, you know.

As for Jimmy Wayne, I didn't know the guy from Reggie Wayne (going with him over the more obvious Bruce Wayne since it's Super Bowl week) until a few months ago when I learned he sang the country hit "Do You Believe Me Now?", which was in my head for the better part of 12 consecutive days. I don't know if that qualifies him in real life to play Drew Pinsky, but in my dream life, yeah, he's apparently on top of this--and concerned.

Dream theater: Stanwyck, Marvin, and Me

The other night I had two sort-of-classic-movie-related dreams. At least, they involved classic movie stars. I'll leave the interpretation to you; I report, you psychoanalyze.

In the opener, I was preparing to ride a horse (I don't think I actually got on the creature) through a suburban neighborhood. A horse trainer/minder was getting the animal ready, while hovering over me, already mounted (on the HORSE--this isn't that kind of dream) was Barbara Stanwyck.

This was more "Double Indemnity"-era Babs, not "Big Valley" Babs, but she was sure dispensing wisdom like an old pro of the saddle. Actually, she was telling me how difficult it was going to be for me. Stanwyck kept harping on the point that the previous time I rode a horse, I could just go straight, whereas I would have to keep turning this time and would therefore have a tough go of it.

Not that I don't respect the legendary Ms. Stanwyck, but, man, she was being a real killjoy. I'll admit I was a bit nervous, and she wasn't making things any easier, showing off like Annie Oakley and doing a little subtle trash-talking.

The second dream was more ambiguous but also quite a bit cooler. I not only got to see Lee Marvin in this mini-movie, but I WAS Lee Marvin. It was nighttime, and I was rifling through the drawers in an apartment or hotel bedroom. What I was looking for, I don't know. I think I was too proud of myself for being Lee Marvin to pay much attention to detail.

I really don;t know much of what was going on there, and my alarm woke me before much happened, but I know that whatever I was doing, it was cool.

Dream Theater

Time to share a real, honest-to-goodness dream I had recently. I was at a restaurant when I saw Adrian Brody across the room. Our eyes met, we shared a moment, and...no, I'm kidding. But in the dream, I did see Brody. I wanted to go over and talk to him not because I was particularly interested in his autograph or his career in general, but because I wanted to ask him when the hell "The Brothers Bloom," his upcoming movie by "Brick" director Rian Johnson, was coming out.

But I hesitated and missed my chance, or so I thought, because I looked back over at his table and he was gone. However, a few moments later, I glanced over towards the bar, and Brody was over there. This time, though, he was making my life easier by getting up and walking right by my table.

So as he approached, I yelled out (not at all like Sly Stallone, I might add), "Adrian!" But the dude totally ignored me, blowing past the table without so much as an acknowledgement.

It was only then I realized my error. It hit me instantly, if too late. Chagrined, I turned to my wife and asked, "That was Matt LeBlanc, wasn't it?" She gave me a confirmation I didn't need, and I woke up.

Adrian Brody and Matt LeBlanc look nothing alike, not even in a dark, crowded restaurant (well, I'm assuming they don't), and when I awoke, I was really ticked off that I confused the two of them, even in a dream.

What does this all mean? Well, I looked this specific scenario up in a dream interpretation book, and it said I'm worried about financial issues and that I have a lingering concern that Brody didn't deserve his Best Actor Oscar for "The Pianist."