The Wonderful World of TCM: Tarzan and what comes next

I appreciate the weekly Tarzan screening brought to us by The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind, though I checked out after the Johnny Weissmullers ended a few weeks ago. Truth be told, I sort of "checked out" even earlier, as at a certain point I realized that while I could see the appeal of the series, they weren't always holding my attention, and I began to use them more as background than as dedicated appointment DVR viewing.

Two installments that stood out in the Weissmuller run were "Tarzan's New York Adventure" because it seemed to always be on when I was a kid (maybe it just stood out because Tarzan wore a suit in it) and "Tarzan Triumphs" because--this may be sacrilege--Frances Gifford surprised be my making forget it was the first in the series without Maureen O'Sullivan. Yowza yowza!

I've been thinking about what TCM will run on Saturdays once it exhausts the King of the Jungle's portfolio. It seems a shame to let the Saturday morning/afternoon series concept expire after this and the long (and very much welcome) Bowery Boys stint. I see that Philo Vance is on tap for September, with the Hildegarde Withers mysteries slated for October as the Tarzans continue. These and many of the best-known and best-loved film series have already run on the channel in recent years. So forgive me if my personal preferences run to material that's buried a little deeper in the vaults.

So, Boston Blackie, Crime Doctor, Mexican Spitfire, Andy Hardy, Dr. Kildare, The Saint, I love you all, but you have made numerous appearances already, often in convenient marathons.
Maisie and The Falcon also make frequent appearances on the channel (though I admit I do need to watch those Maisies someday).

The Lone Wolfs, the Whistlers, the Perry Masons, the Nancy Drews, the I Love a Mysteries, and the Sherlock Holmeses are either on video or already make regular appearances on TCM.

I like Columbia's Blondie series based on the enduring comic strip, but I...have access to those already, not that I wouldn't appreciate seeing pristine prints.

Abbott and Costello are great, but I have the DVDs, and those movies haven't been wallflowers, either. In fact, This TV is running many of them lately. Speaking of This, the channel is also showing Francis the Talking Mule films, and they also have slipped in a few Ma and Pa
Kettles to complement those other Universal franchises.

This also runs the occasional Charlie Chan film, as does TCM, and most of the Chans are on video. Same with the cool Mr. Moto series. I'd like to see the rest of the Michael Shaynes, actually. That would be a good candidate, but a handful of those are on DVD.

After thinking this through, I have a winner. The one series I would like to see make its way to TCM on Saturdays after the guy in the loincloth moves on is...

The Aldrich Family.

I've never seen any of these 11 Paramount Studios pictures, and I don't recall The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind airing them since I've had it. It was a popular franchise back in the 1940s and 1950s, originating as a radio program and eventually moving into television. But I'd be happy just to see the movies.

Maybe there are rights issues or materials issues that prevent them from being shown, but as far as I know the Aldrich Family movies have been M.I.A. for years. I think I'd enjoy 'em. Make it happen, TCM.

Cultureshark Cares: A Public Service Announcement

Months ago, when The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind released its Summer Under the Stars Schedule, I rejoiced at the sight of August 5, John Garfield Day, because Turner Classic Movies had finally scheduled "The Breaking Point." This long-awaited--by me, for sure, but
I know others have been on the hunt for it as well--film is on tonight at 10:00 P.M. I'll be clearing my DVR and hoping there's not some kind of freak storm or something.

This 1950 adaptation of "To Have and Have Not" has a distinctive pedigree even beyond its critical acclaim. It stars Garfield, is directed by Michael Curtiz, and as the second adaptation of Hemingway's novel, makes an interesting comparison piece to the Humphrey Bogart/Bacall/Hawks classic "To Have and Have Not." Or so I hear--I've never seen it.

I've wanted to see it for years, and though I figured all those factors I mentioned above, PLUS the fact it's a Warner Brothers picture, made it a likely candidate for a screening on TCM. Well, I figured wrong, and I haven't seen "Breaking Point" listed in the 10 years or so I've had the channel. I've only read about legendary screenings of the film in the wee hours on outlets like
Cinemax, screenings likely made long before I was hip enough to know just how much I should have wanted to see it.

Over the years, I've avoided reading up too much on this one, saving myself for, you know, actually watching it. I just know it's good and that it's "darker." Well, just taking Walter Brennan out of the thing probably makes it at least 50% darker, so I don't know how much that tells
me. Maybe--not a deliberate SPOILER--everyone dies in an A-bomb blast at the end, followed immediately by a Billie Holiday song playing over the credits.

I never saw a definitive reason as to what kept the movie off TCM but let "To Have and Have Not" be a mainstay. Even "The Gun Runners," the later Don Siegel version of the same source material, has made an appearance or two, I'm pretty sure. It matters not now. Catch this rare one tonight!

Since I am feeling particularly caring today, I will alert readers in the Greater Metropolitan D.C. area that Penn State football preview magazines are appearing at Wegman's. I've already snapped up 3 of them. It's nice to see that the top program in the game is well represented throughout the Mid-Atlantic region, and at the best supermarket in the area, no less. Pick up your copies and get pumped up for some college football.

This Week in DVD

Soul Surfer: If I'm not mistaken, this inspirational saga of courage, determination, and overcoming adversity was originally known as its alternate title, "Whoa, It's That Chick Who
Totally Lost Her Arm, Dude."

Rio: I had Peter Allen's song "I Go to Rio" in my head for about 4 consecutive months until this movie came out. Then I got it out of my head again. Now the DVD comes out. Grr....

Last Night: Wait, this came out in May? Pretty sad when the listed box office return is .1 million. No, not a million bucks, but .1 million. Limited theatrical release, shall we say.

But this movie stars Keira Knightley, Eva Mendes, Sam Worthington, even Griffin Dunne...and some dude named Guillaume Canet who gets his smiling mug above the title. I bet when this one showed up DOA, everyone blamed him. "It was a good cast except for 'and Guillaume Canet.'
HE'S why this flopped."

The Perfect Game: Synopsis says "Ragtag Mexican baseball team dreams of World Series." I don't think a movie has been made about a sports team that WASN'T "ragtag" since "Pride of the Yankees."

Quarantine 2: Terminal: Because there were so many unresolved questions from the first one. (That's an ancient joke about sequels, I know, but it never gets "old" old.)

Cougar Hunting: This movie sounds terrible, but it stars Vanessa Angel and Lara Flynn Boyle, presumably as cougars. Speaking of old...I feel old.

Everwood Season 4 and Complete Seasons 1-4: If they ever make one of those XXX parodies of this show, it should be called "This Ain't Everwood...But Then Again, It Is!"

Minnesota Twins 1991 World Series: This actually streets this week, not last week as I believed, and note that I do the honorable thing and admit my mistake rather than
cut and paste that entry. [CUE INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Gamera Collection: 4 movies long thought unclearable for video arrive in a nifty box set. This title reflects the new reality of Netflix. Instead of complaining about why the company isn't stocking these discs, I'm just hoping they show up on Instant Watching before they get yanked from circulation.

Antenna TV's new schedule

Sitcoms Online posted Antenna TV's fall schedule last week, and it's somewhat disappointing news for classic TV fans. "Farmer's Daughter" is still a no-go, and while I shouldn't be surprised after the revelations that Sony's masters were supposedly in subpar shape and couldn't be
converted to airable versions for whatever reason, I had held out some hope that maybe we'd get a surprise on that front.

Another one of the programs announced before Antenna's launch, the 1950s anthology "Ford Theatre" is also absent from this new schedule. What is more worrying to me is
that Sitcoms Online, which updated us eariler in the year on the progress of the missing Sony shows, doesn't even mention this one in its report. It's getting easier to assume this will meet the same fate as "Farmer's Daughter."

Now, Pavan Badal of the site says there may be more news about Antenna in the next few weeks, and maybe it's good, but as much as I love "Burns and Allen" and as much as I
loved "Hazel" (still do, but it's been through its episodes twice already), the two rare shows I was most eagerly anticipating remain absent.

On the bright side, many classic TV lovers will be happy that the sitcom schedule is expanding and the movie load is decreasing a bit. Plus it's nice that through some maneuvering here and there, Antenna is able to add new series without getting rid of existing ones.

Yet I still want to see more rarities. And can someone do something about the weekend schedules? I have no problem with "Benny Hill" and the Three Stooges, but they take up
a LOT of programming slots on Friday and Saturday nights.

3 things I had forgotten about "Thriller"

Watching a bit of puffery about Michael Jackson recently made me think about "Thriller," not an album I listen to all the way through today but one I sure as hell loved in the eighties. Hey, everybody loved it back in the eighties. In 2011, a few details about the classic stand
out, things which may not be well known today:

1) The album came out in 1982. That's right, 1982. Seeing this fact somehow surprises me every time because I can remember the LP being very much a big deal in my circles well into 1984. There are a few albums today that sustain interest and stay relevant for several years, but not to the extent of a "Thriller."

2) It only has 9 songs. That seems a bit thin, doesn't it? Especially when one of them is "The Lady in My Life," which I inexplicably told a grade-school buddy of mine I liked when he incredulously demanded clarification after I said I liked the whole album.

"Even the last one? That slow song at the end?"
[Me nodding my head]

Sure, the album has massive hits like "Beat It" and "Billie Jean," but it also counts among its 9 tracks that weak closer and another Rod Temperton-penned song (to be fair, the guy is the credited writer of the title track, too), "Baby Be Mine," that didn't tear up the world.

That's over 20% of the album as filler, and it leaves you with 7 notable cuts. Doesn't it seem odd today that such a memorable, long-lived album had "only" 9 songs total and 7 that people remember? I'm not denigrating "Thriller," mind you, but pointing out that my perception would be that such a huge album of that era had at least a dozen or so standout tunes out of, say, 15 songs in all.

3) The lead single was...: I totally forgot this one. You know what the first released single off "Thriller" was? It wasn't the title cut. "Billie Jean"? Nope. Nor was it "Beat It." I would have guessed "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'." I would have been wrong.

It was in fact the Jacko/McCartney duet "The Girl Is Mine," which "only" hit number two on the pop charts and doesn't hold up well today as much more than a novelty, partly because a concept that was tongue in cheek even then--Michael and Macca fighting over a woman--is downright surreal today.

Yet I do remember the ditty being much more significant at the time, though it was more a mainstay of lite-FM and MOR radio than it was a pioneering big-tent single like "Billie Jean." Compared to that hit and the energetic, vital "Beat It," "The Girl Is Mine" seems quaint today,
and it boggles the modern mind that it and not one of the other classics on the album became "Thriller's" debut single.

Perhaps the starpower of Paul McCartney made this song an irresistible lure for radio, perhaps Jacko himself really loved it--I don't know the reason for the strategy, but it does make one wonder how a song best known for Macca announcing he's a lover, not a fighter, became the
premiere single off the biggest pop album of all time.

My wife reads "People" so you don't have to

Folks, I have accidentally read some issues of "People" magazine my wife left laying around before, but the July 18 issue was a real doozy. Let's hit some of the highlights in order:

On page 22, we get the requisite Jen/Justin update. Yes, Aniston and Theroux are "going strong!" This only pages after a pic of Aniston at an event accompanied by the caption, "You call THIS horrible?" Oh, and the "freshly shaven" Theroux, according to a source, "seemed to fit in perfectly with Aniston's close-knit crew" during a night on the town. Do I hear wedding bells?

Page 47 brings an odd blurb about the new La Toya Jackson tome, "Starting Over." The mag writes, "Michael's big sister shares memories and unconvincing theories about his death. Includes fun family photos." Huh? Talk about a tone shift. This is all there is about the book. So is that a thumb up or down? And we know the bit about the fun family photos is not an ironic juxtaposition but just "People's" own awkward juxtaposition because of the lack of an ! at the end.

On page 51, the books section continues with a piece on Keanu Reeves' new poetry book. No comment necessary.

On page 78 is a profile of two supporting characters from "Real Housewives of New Jersey"--two supporting characters. You know, I mention this in case you think the magazine has been too literary to this point.

Investigation Discovery takes out a full-page ad to promote a show titled "Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?" Go get 'em, Investigation Discovery!

Christina Hendricks is the subject of the Beauty Watch profile near the end. The best thing about this feature, of course, is that not only do we get her beauty tips and favorite things, but we get brand names and info about where to buy them! What a public service.

On the back cover is a "Project Runway" ad featuring a naked Heidi Klum. OK, this page is actually pretty good.

I can't wait to see if the July 25 issue is loaded with as much useful info as this one!