Vault of Coolness: Station West--The book!

I've always been a big Dick Powell fan, not least because of his fascinating transition from crooner to hard-boiled noir star to behind-the-scenes power broker. If you ask me, to paraphrase Norma Desmond, Hollywood is still big; it's the Dicks that got small.

Ivan's excellent TDOY post about "western noir" Station West inspired me to visit the Vault of Coolness and retrieve this artifact: a beat-up Bantam paperback of the Luke Short's novel RKO adapted. Of course, this version is one of those nifty movie tie-in deals, so we get to see Dick and Jane (Greer, that is) in their glory on the cover. It's nice to know that the Hollywood-Publishing Industry connection did this kind of thing way back in 1948. Of course, today if this happened, I'd be complaining about how they wrecked the book with a stupid tie-in cover. But since this is from 1948 and features Dick Powell, it's cool.


Here's a look at the back cover:

Should You Watch: The Forgotten

Of the many new shows dotting the networks' primetime schedules this fall, "The Forgotten" is...one of them. It plays like just another procedural show, albeit with the interesting twist that the people solving cold cases (and restoring peace to the "forgotten" victims and their loved ones) are volunteers, a sort of ad-hoc special crimes unit. I could buy that premise and I could buy Christian Slater as their driven ex-cop leader, but I'd have to get stories a lot sharper than what I saw in last week's pilot.

You should watch "The Forgotten" if:

*You feel it's about time that poor, struggling producer Jerry Bruckheimer finally got a break.

*You're guilty about Slater's last show, "My Worst Enemy" tanking last year, and you feel you owe him one ("Enemy" was flawed, but it was much more compelling).

*Hey, you'll watch any scripted show at 10:00 just to stick it to NBC and Jay Leno.

*You get confused and think "The Forgotten" is somehow solving real cases.

*You're so excited to see someone from "The Wire" (State's Attorney Rhonda Pearlman, or rather actress Deirdre Lovejoy, appeared in a small but key role in the pilot) that you think, hey, maybe it could happen again.

Should You Watch: Accidentally on Purpose

Before I tell you why you should watch "Accidentally on Purpose," a new sitcom airing Monday nights on CBS, let me tell you if you're interested, you had better do it quickly, because this is already a candidate for cancellation.

In this series, Jenna Elfman is a movie critic who embarks on a one-night stand with a much younger guy she meets in a bar (is "embarks" an appropriate word for picking up a guy in a bar?) and gets pregnant. Yay, younger guy's sperm! Complications are sure to ensue as we follow Elfman and the baby daddy, who she is letting stay in her apartment because otherwise he'd be living out of his van. You know, despite how I'm making it sound, this show is a lot more silly than seedy.

You should watch "Accidentally on Purpose" if:

*You really like Jenna Elfman. I mean, really like her. I'm talking you taped "Dharma and Greg" on WE, even though you had seen every episode, on the remote chance that maybe you'd catch one you had never seen, and even if you wouldn't, well, you'd go ahead and watch it, anyway. "Accidentally" is totally based on Elfman, and if you don't like her, don't even try it.

*The thought of a thirtysomething woman hooking up with a much younger guy makes you go, "Mm-HMM! You GO, girl!"

*You believe that the best way to illustrate a male character's youth and emotional maturity is to establish that he owns and uses a Wii.

*You're nostalgic enough for the idea of a newspaper employing a full-time film critic that you're just happy to see it be someone's occupation on TV.

*A whole week's worth of pregnancy-related reality shows on TLC just aren't doing it for you.

*You want the show to go long enough to see the inevitable stunt casting of Lauren Graham as Elfman's sister.

*You don't want to miss the cool old movie posters on Elfman's character's wall. I saw "Gilda" and a few others in the premiere.

*The new "Melrose Place" has awoken your Grant Show Fever from remission (Show is the newspaper owner who has just broken up with Elfman's character when the pilot begins).

As for me, well, the next time I see the show, it'll be an accident and not on purpose (as opposed to the Show--you never know when ol' Grant will turn up on my TV). It's not terrible, but you can see the whole thing laid out for you by just watching a few minutes, and it's not a direction I feel like going.

My wife reads "People" so you don't have to

I apologize for not keeping up with "People" magazine lately, but what can I say? What with work commitments, family commitments, and being-lazy commitments, I've been busy, and sometimes it's just hard to find the 3 1/2 minutes needed to read a whole issue.

That said, I did look at the September 17 issue--not that I read it, you know, my wife just had it laying around--and I discovered that Nick Hornby had a new novel coming out soon. This is a big revelation to me. Hornby is one of my favorite authors, and this is news to me. So I should really be thankful for "People" magazine and not even mention any of the, shall we say, less useful bits in the issue.

BUT I feel I owe my faithful readers, so let me mention the "Body Watch" column on page 136. Tyra Banks, it seems, has lost 30 pounds, and we see a pic of her "new bod" alongside "her famous 'fat' photo" of 2006.

"People's" obssessive coverage of celebrities' weight always amuses me, but then, so does the spin celebrities themselves put on their own weight gains and losses. In this article, a close source claims that this was just Banks "wanting to get healthier."

"She didn't do it to lose weight. Tyra loves her body no matter what size she is--and thinks every woman should feel that way."

So in other words, Banks didn't lose weight to lose weight. Ahhhh, yeah, that makes sense.

News flash: If you're overweight, losing weight makes you healthier. Why parse words like this? I guess it's because Tyra Banks, as the article mentions, told everyone in 2007 to kiss her fat ass, and she doesn't want to be seen as admitting she wanted/needed to lose weight. Even though she clearly did. And even though she wants to be healthier.

I guess you can argue that the idea here is that Tyra went on a mad exercising spree just for her cardio health or whatever and just happened to lose 30 pounds as a result, but it all goes together. Why be so particular about it?

More importantly, why spend several paragraphs on a blog talking about it? Hey, did I mention that Nick Hornby has a new novel coming out?

This Week in DVD

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: Matthew McConaughey plays Connor Mead, who--ah, you know what? You don't expect much from this romantic comedy, I don't expect much from this romantic comedy--let's just call it even and talk about that name: Connor Mead. What a classic McConaughey name. Much like Tripp ("Failure to Launch"), Dirk Pitt ("Sahara"), and Denton Van Zan ("Reign of Fire"), you know this guy's an alpha male with a cocky streak and charm to spare. OK, "Reign of Fire" sees him killing dragons, not charming them, but I had to include it because, come on, DENTON VAN ZAN. Wasn't he the keyboard player in the original Lynyrd Skynyrd?

Connor Mead. Yeah, that sounds right. Connor Mead.

Observe and Report: Remember when this dark comedy came out and all the buzz was about whether a certain key scene constituted date rape or not? That's the joy of modern filmmaking--you get the kind of spirited dialogue among moviegoers that you just couldn't generate after seeing a Martin and Lewis film.

I'll tell you one thing: Whether it was a date rape or not, if Connor Mead were involved, there'd be no debate. Oh, you could debate the action, sure, but all would be forgiven by the end of the movie because while he may be a cad, Connor Mead is a likable cad. He'll get his comeuppance, but, darn it, you just got to love him.

Taxi Season 4: What a pleasant surprise it is to see this long-stalled show continue, and with word this week that Season 5 is coming later this year, to boot. I have to give Paramount an unqualified golf clap for this--well, maybe slightly qualified; I mean, it DID wait 4 years before unleashing this set.

I'm reminded of a Matthew McConaughey quote, specifically a line uttered by his character Wooderson in "Dazed and Confused":

"That's what I love about these old TV shows on DVD, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins: What the--how is this franchise continuing? That's right, it's a prequel to the "popular" series of films with Freddie Prinze Jr. and the gang.

I know that Matthew McConaughey, if not Connor Mead, would have something in common with Shaggy. One can imagine the two of them chilling out some quiet summer night, sharing some refreshments, relaxing, playing nude bongos--you know, the usual stuff.

One can also imagine someone could take a digital camcorder out there and shoot that encounter, and the resulting video would be much more entertaining than "Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins."

No, no, no, Travel Channel! BAD Travel Channel!

Hey, cable television, how many times do I have to say this? Not all of us want movies on every damn channel in our lineup!

Now Travel Channel is doing it. At least according to my (admittedly not always accurate) FIOS listings, this Saturday brings an airing of "National Lampoon's Vacation" to the 8-10:00PM slot on the network.

If you want to stray from your roots and show guys stuffing themselves on 20-pound burgers or whatever, that's one thing. But movies? Come on, even if it IS related to "travel," you don't need to be airing movies. Everybody else does. In fact, everybody else airs this particular movie, and I'm pretty sure that when I first bitched about TV Land showing movies, I bitched about them airing this particular movie.

"Vacation" is a great movie--not so great in hacked-up-for-TV form, but still, it's a riot. But we don't need to watch it on Travel Channel. Even if it were appropriate, it sets a bad precedent. It won't be long till we get the crummy "Vacation" movies, then the Cedric the Entertainer road trip movies, and then, well, might as well start with the poker movies...

NO MOVIES. Show movies on movie channels. Travel Channel is not a movie channel.

Sounds simple to me.