Now You (Don't) See It, Now You Won't: Secret Talents of the Stars

The difficult thing about blogging about TV these days and trying to stay relevant is that many of the worst shows get canceled before you can make fun of them.

Fortunately, I never worry about staying relevant.

Ah, I could make fun of "Secret Talents of the Stars," but by now, everybody else has beaten me to it, and I'm not sure if it was so much a case of it being a terrible idea as it was just the stars not being so talented. Sasha Cohen's flexibility routine appealed to prurient interests, and so did Mya's unexceptional dance number, but Clint Black's attempt at standup comedy had anyone who saw it trying to stand up and bolt to the exits.

I recorded the show to see George Takei sing country and western, and, well, I saw it. It won't be remembered as a landmark performance in the history of the genre. But as bad as it was--and I don't exactly know why, but this is the case--if Mr. Sulu was singing "On the Road Again" at a local dive bar, I'd gladly pay a $10 cover and buy a few cold ones for the privilege of seeing it.

Alas, CBS, which for some reason has the unreasonable expectation that people WATCH the shows it broadcast, yanked this series after that one episode. So we'll never see Ric Flair do salsa dancing or Casper the Friendly Ghost pitch horseshoes or Ashton Kutcher count to 10. It seems like only a few years ago that the 1969 "Laugh-In" clone "Turn-On" was notorious for being canned after one airing. Nowadays it seems that this is happening all the time. What I want to see is a show canceled halfway through the premiere. It would be great if some exec just came on camera, said, "Boy, this just isn't working," and put on some old cartoons for the rest of the half-hour.