In honor of a very special birthday, I decided to not just list the most notable new DVDs out this week, but to dig up some comments by noted American patriots about each title. While there are some interesting new streaming titles this week, we won't be covering them here this week. I mean, come on, how would the Founding Fathers know anything about streaming video? That's just absurd.
6 Souls: "I regret that I have but 6 souls to give for my country." -- Nathan Hale, noted spy
The Girl: "'Tis better to live well and be well read than to bypass theaters for video instead. Now where is this girl about which you speak?" -- Silence Dogood, noted know-it-all
The House I Live In: "My house is but a humble extension of myself, built and maintained with industry, perseverance, and the manual labor of my slaves." -- Thomas Jefferson, noted hypocrite
Venus and Serena: "The redcoats will find their misery inescapable should they choose to advance now...also, should they watch an entire movie about the Williams sisters." -- George Washington, noted tree surgeon
Inescapable: "Give me Marisa Tomei topless or give me death!" -- Patrick Henry, noted loudmouth
The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis: "If this be the cobbler Gillis, the same Doberman Prescott Gillis who is betrothed to my sister, he shall be stoned for this frivolity." -- John Hancock, noted autographer
Night Court Season 9: "A television program, once jumped over the shark, can never be restored. Credibility, once it is lost, is lost forever." -- John Adams, noted cousin of the noted beer maker
Last Resort: The Complete Series: "Yeah, the show bombed, but Andre Braugher kicks ass." -- John Morgan, some carpenter
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