Wonderful World of TCM: Johnny Got His Gun

Like many out there of a certain age, for years, my only exposure to this film was seeing the clips in Metallica's "One" video. Man, "Johnny Got His Gun" looked BAD-ASS in that video. Some poor dude is believed all but dead, and we hear his thoughts as he tries to communicate. It's all in a dreary black and white...and of course there is some guitar shredding going on along with James Hetfield's imposing vocals.

I think it's safe to say many a teenager thought back in the day, "I GOTTA see that movie!"

It's never been easy to find, and rumors swirled for years about its availability or likelihood of video release, but recently Criterion released the movie on DVD. I opted to catch it on Turner Classic Movies.

Boy, am I glad I didn't buy the DVD.

"Johnny Got His Gun" is much, much, much more enjoyable in clip form. No disrespect intended to legendary screenwriter and Blacklist icon Dalton Trumbo, but 110 minutes of his anti-war message becomes oppressive. I don't mean because it's anti-war, but because it's dull.

Unfortunately, the chilling atmosphere so pervasive in the rapidly-edited clips in the Metallica video is overwhelmed by the laboriousness of the rest of the movie when you watch the whole thing. There are some effective scenes, but they pale beside some of the clunkers. Let me paraphrase a sample exchange from one of the colorful, sunnily-lit passages showing lead character Joe before he goes to World War I and is physically decimated:

Young Boy Joe: What IS democracy, anyway?
Joe's Dad (Jason Robards): [THOUGHTFUL EXPRESSION] Well, I reckon like any form of government, it has something to do with young men killin' each other.

OK, the whole screenplay isn't this obvious, but it ain't subtle, either, and Trumbo the director (for the only time in his career) doesn't help any. I suppose the film is supposed to be agitprop, and I can't fault it too much for being that, except I also hoped it would be entertaining, if not as BAD-ASS as I might have hoped when I was, what, 14.

Having said all that, the stark black-and-white scenes with the injured Joe are indeed haunting and effective. The more dreamlike color flashbacks, though--not so much. I'm likely in the minority here, but "Johnny Got His Gun" is a big disappointment to me.

Journey Into DVD, or at least anoter blog: Golden Age of TV Noir

I was all set to write in depth about the latest DVD release from Johnny Legend, "Golden Age Noir," but then I read Vince Keenan's excellent summary and realized I didn't really have much to add. I pretty much agree with his assessments of the disc's contents. Go check it out. In particular, I enjoy his take on the rare "Counterpoint" episode included here:

"The show is set over three city blocks but features more walking than the Lord of the Rings trilogy."

So true, and even more hilarious if you see the actual program.

The DVD is well worth a look-see not necessarily for its "noirness"--the noir level is debatable in many of these 7 1950s TV episodes--but simply for providing 7 samples of old-school TV anthologies. Some context would have been nice, but it's still a cool package, offering several episodes of "Four-Star Playhouse," (including Cultureshark Icon Dick Powell), a little Edmond O'Brien, a little young Walter Matthau, and much more.

This Week in DVD

Green Lantern: First Flight: I'm willing to bet this DC Comics animated feature is as awesome as the previous effort, "Wonder Woman." This is a good time to be Green Lantern now, with the comic book green-hot, this brand-new DVD, and the recent news that the live-action feature is underway. Of course, Ryan Reynolds will be Hal Jordan, but hopefully the movie will overcome that. In this animated version, GL is played by a real man, Christopher Meloni. I don't even watch "Law and Order: SVU," so you know that's a real compliment to him. Or maybe just a real slam on Ryan Reynolds.

Angel of Death: I don't care for star Zoe Bell, but I love Ed Brubaker's hard-boiled comic books. This is a feature version of a live action web series he created, and with a title like "Angel of Death," you know not to expect unicorns and rainbows. Since my slacker self never got around to watching that, this one's for me.

Life on Mars Season 1: This is the original version, and while I don't want to say that all British shows are better than their American counterparts...Yeah, actually that is pretty much what I want to say. You may have seen this show already on BBC America, but it was edited for added commercials, so if you pick up this set, it'll be like watching a whole new show...with the same general theme, plots, characters, and about 85% of the dialogue. But still!

Dollhouse Season 1: and Donna Reed Show Season 2: Untrue story: Joss Whedon was inspired to create "Dollhouse" after watching a "Donna Reed" marathon. Seriously, though, anytime you get a season 2 of a relatively-under-the-radar release like "Donna," it's good news. Maybe this one will keep chugging along on DVD.

Fast and Furious: And now you know why I've focused on comic book adaptations and TV shows this week. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the high-profile theatrical release of the week! Apparently the producers just gave up coming up with clever subtitles for the sequels to "The Fast and the Furious" and said, "Aw, what the hell, no one's coming for the words, anyway."

Becoming Charley Chase: I don't have a lot of experience with silent comedian Charley Chase, but I don't need it to know what a great set this is. Kudos to VCI for releasing this jam-packed collection of Chase's early work. I'm sure it is going to make a lot of people happy.

Things Only I Want to See #2: Richard Gere's Revenge

You all know that rumor about Richard Gere, right? The unspeakable urban legend that somehow became so mainstream, it may have gone back the other way so that people now assume it IS just an urban legend?

Well, this is how prevalent it is: On the IMDB page for the new Jerry Bruckheimer-produced Guinea Pigs in Action movie, "G Force," if you scroll down to the "FAQ" section, the second-most-asked query, right after, "Is this related to the anime series?" is actually...

Hey, wait, someone removed it.

Darn it all! Well, you'll have to take my word for it. As of last week, the second question in the FAQ was actually, "Is Richard Gere involved?"

Poor Richard Gere. That urban legend just won't go away, and it's even being dragged into the sphere of alleged family movies like "G-Force."

I guess my bringing it up doesn't help any, but I am going to make amends by presenting a great way for the actor to get a little revenge. I want to see Richard Gere in a movie...playing Richard Gere. This film would be written by Charlie Kaufman and possibly directed by Spike Jonze. You with me here?

OK, now check this out: In the movie, Richard Gere is determined to track down the originator of that urban legend. He embarks on an obsessive quest to find someone--anyone--he can pummel for starting the rumor. It seems futile, and he alienates many around him, but along the way he discovers just how pervasive the story is (he's been shielded from it to a large extent until now), which reaffirms his drive.

There are lots of twists and turns and head-trippy stuff because it's Charlie Kaufman.

As the film reaches its climax (should I give a SPOILER ALERT for a movie that doesn't exist?), in some amazing miracle, Gere is able to isolate one man as the originator of the urban legend. However, in a fantastic turn of events, we learn that the man is himself part gerbil. Furthermore, he is the spawn of a brief but torrid union between Richard Gere and a--well, you know...

So you might be thinking, yeah, this sounds like an awesome movie, but how does this benefit Richard Gere? How does he get his revenge? It's simple. In the last scene, he smacks the gerbil over the head with a shovel.

I'm telling you, this would be a brilliant piece of cinema. Hollywood, make it happen!

First Impulse: NBC's Fall Schedule

OK, it's been a month and a half since I talked about ABC, even longer since the networks actually announced their schedules, and you may wonder how at this point my reaction can be a "first impulse."

Hey, do you really think I have spent any time thinking about NBC's fall schedule before I realized I needed to finish up the series?

Let's start on a high note for the Peacock, with Sunday Night Football. This is a novelty: Something on NBC people not only watch, but look forward to and enjoy. With the ability to cherry-pick match-ups and the prime-time spotlight, NBC offers a great showcase for pro football, even if they did screw fans by putting on an inferior highlights show and forcing off ESPN's 7:00 "Primetime." But this is a good night for the National Broadcasting Company.

Let's sit back and enjoy this for a moment or two.

OK, unfortunately, there are 5 other nights of the week (Saturdays don't exist for networks anymore), so we must move on to Monday.

Oh, yeah, before we get started on weekdays, thanks to NBC for putting Jay Leno at 10pm, basically giving up on 5 hours of prime time a week and, more importantly, slashing the number of snide comments wise-ass bloggers have to create to discuss its schedule.

Mondays offer "Heroes" at 8. This is how enthusiastic I am about this show: My wife and I let the whole second half of the latest season accumulate on our DVR and never got around to watching any of it. When the DVR got nuked recently and we lost all those episodes, our reaction was more or less, "Eh." Maybe it'll rebound this year, but we've heard that promise before.
Maybe "Trauma" will be better at 9. It's about paramedics, and it's not "Third Watch." That's about all I know.

Tuesdays, it's two hours of "The Biggest Loser." Maybe NBC has some kind of weight-related clever marketing hook to justify this, but really, devoting two whole hours to this is almost as desperate as devoting 5 hours to Leno.

In the middle of the week, it's a nurse show called "Mercy," followed by the 23rd season of "Law and Order: SVU," which can't seem to make any ground on the record holder, "Law and Order," which returns Fridays for its 57th straight season. NBC must stand for Never Basically Changing, because this lineup is looking stale.

I know there are a lot of people who enjoy NBC's Thursday night comedies. They just don't have Nielsen boxes, apparently. Critics may love "30 Rock," but as far as I'm concerned, even if it wins all umpteen of its Emmys, it just ain't my thang. Same for "The Office" and "Parks and Recreation."

Leading off the night, though, is a new effort called "Community." If you read any TV news sites, it probably feels like this community-college-set sitcom starring E! Network's Joel McHale has been in development forever. I swear I've heard about this one for years. I'll give it a shot, but I hope it has a distinctive point of view and isn't just aping the other shows in this comedy block. Oh, yeah, and of course, someone has come up with a brilliant casting move to ensure "Community" feels fresh: Ladies and gentlemen, the return to series television of Chevy Chase!

I mentioned "Law and Order" returns Fridays. In the works this year is a special live, black-and-white episode which pays tributes to the show's origins as "Philco Playhouse Presents the Law and Order 90-Minute Showcase." George Clooney will direct and produce. At 9, it's returning cop show "Southland," which, uh, I kind of meant to sample this past season but never did.

Saturdays on the network aren't worth speaking about; it's all reruns and "Dateline," and of course every God-fearing American boycotted "Dateline" as soon as it canned Stone Phillips.

Sorry for not mustering more enthusiasm for NBC's fall schedule, but it really does seem that the once-proud network is kind of throwing in the towel this year. Maybe next year they'll get Jon Stewart to do a 9pm show and save themselves the trouble of producing 5 MORE hours of content. And then it's My-TV territory, folks.

My Wife reads "People" so you don't have to #4: Britney!

From the July 20 issue's EXCLUSIVE look at Britney Spears' tour, here's her Britness herself in one photo caption, describing what she does after a show:

"I either watch TV or listen to music, then I go to sleep."

On behalf of the entire Cultureshark audience--even those in the cheap seats--allow me to say...UH-HUH.

I don't necessarily think her statement is inaccurate, but I can't help but suspect she is excluding an activity or 3 from that itinerary.