You all know that rumor about Richard Gere, right? The unspeakable urban legend that somehow became so mainstream, it may have gone back the other way so that people now assume it IS just an urban legend?
Well, this is how prevalent it is: On the IMDB page for the new Jerry Bruckheimer-produced Guinea Pigs in Action movie, "G Force," if you scroll down to the "FAQ" section, the second-most-asked query, right after, "Is this related to the anime series?" is actually...
Hey, wait, someone removed it.
Darn it all! Well, you'll have to take my word for it. As of last week, the second question in the FAQ was actually, "Is Richard Gere involved?"
Poor Richard Gere. That urban legend just won't go away, and it's even being dragged into the sphere of alleged family movies like "G-Force."
I guess my bringing it up doesn't help any, but I am going to make amends by presenting a great way for the actor to get a little revenge. I want to see Richard Gere in a movie...playing Richard Gere. This film would be written by Charlie Kaufman and possibly directed by Spike Jonze. You with me here?
OK, now check this out: In the movie, Richard Gere is determined to track down the originator of that urban legend. He embarks on an obsessive quest to find someone--anyone--he can pummel for starting the rumor. It seems futile, and he alienates many around him, but along the way he discovers just how pervasive the story is (he's been shielded from it to a large extent until now), which reaffirms his drive.
There are lots of twists and turns and head-trippy stuff because it's Charlie Kaufman.
As the film reaches its climax (should I give a SPOILER ALERT for a movie that doesn't exist?), in some amazing miracle, Gere is able to isolate one man as the originator of the urban legend. However, in a fantastic turn of events, we learn that the man is himself part gerbil. Furthermore, he is the spawn of a brief but torrid union between Richard Gere and a--well, you know...
So you might be thinking, yeah, this sounds like an awesome movie, but how does this benefit Richard Gere? How does he get his revenge? It's simple. In the last scene, he smacks the gerbil over the head with a shovel.
I'm telling you, this would be a brilliant piece of cinema. Hollywood, make it happen!
Hey, wait, someone removed it.
Darn it all! Well, you'll have to take my word for it. As of last week, the second question in the FAQ was actually, "Is Richard Gere involved?"
Poor Richard Gere. That urban legend just won't go away, and it's even being dragged into the sphere of alleged family movies like "G-Force."
I guess my bringing it up doesn't help any, but I am going to make amends by presenting a great way for the actor to get a little revenge. I want to see Richard Gere in a movie...playing Richard Gere. This film would be written by Charlie Kaufman and possibly directed by Spike Jonze. You with me here?
OK, now check this out: In the movie, Richard Gere is determined to track down the originator of that urban legend. He embarks on an obsessive quest to find someone--anyone--he can pummel for starting the rumor. It seems futile, and he alienates many around him, but along the way he discovers just how pervasive the story is (he's been shielded from it to a large extent until now), which reaffirms his drive.
There are lots of twists and turns and head-trippy stuff because it's Charlie Kaufman.
As the film reaches its climax (should I give a SPOILER ALERT for a movie that doesn't exist?), in some amazing miracle, Gere is able to isolate one man as the originator of the urban legend. However, in a fantastic turn of events, we learn that the man is himself part gerbil. Furthermore, he is the spawn of a brief but torrid union between Richard Gere and a--well, you know...
So you might be thinking, yeah, this sounds like an awesome movie, but how does this benefit Richard Gere? How does he get his revenge? It's simple. In the last scene, he smacks the gerbil over the head with a shovel.
I'm telling you, this would be a brilliant piece of cinema. Hollywood, make it happen!
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