Aw, shucks

I am the proud recipient of a bona fide MAJOR AWARD, and unlike the one the Old Man got, this honor ain't fragile. I took special care when cutting-and-pasting the jpg, anyway, just to be on the safe side. After all, I don't get awards every day, you know.

I must thank pal o' mine and Friend of the Site Ivan Shreve, proprietor of the essential Thrilling Days of Yesteryear, for bestowing this award and offering some much-too-kind words in the process. I am in a rush tonight and am probably violating the spirit, the letter of the law, and the whole darn raison d'etre (how's THAT for some stylish vocab?) by neither revealing more about myself, nor sharing the generous spirit by passing it on to other, undoubtedly more deserving blogs, but I felt it would be rude not to acknowledge Ivan's wonderful gesture. I believe that when a man extends such praise, it is unkind not to at least--aw, heck, who am I kidding, I just wanted to put the award up.

I hope that at some point in the not-too-distant future, possibly even before CBS finishes putting out "Sgt. Bilko" on DVD, I'll pay it forward and fulfill my duties. For now, I just want to say thanks, and welcome to anyone who was lured over to my corner of the web by attending the prestigious awards ceremony at TDOY.

This Week in Netflix Instant Watching

I wanted to chime in with a few notes on Netflix's recent IW additions before a huge dump of titles comes April 1. Hey, don't get me wrong, there is some great stuff coming the first of the month. Maybe I shouldn't use the word "dump." Well, too late. Not like I can go back and edit it out or anything.

I'll tell you who takes a big dump all over Netflix for abandoning the physical DVD in its rush to force us drones--er, customers to streaming: Classic TV History blogger Stephen Bowie, who writes a scathing attack on the company for deserting the format all too soon. Bowie does an outstanding job of explaining why the approach is so hurtful, and his focus on the lack of vintage TV releases being offered by Netflix is particularly alarming.

I was aware that product from VCI and Timeless, among others, was not being picked up, but I didn't know Netflix was so blatant about not stocking it. And while I was impressed when a ton of old B-movies and rarities not available on video started popping up this year, I haven't seen as many old-school flicks of any kind lately.

I say bravo to Mr. Bowie and kudos for an essential piece, but I also plan to enjoy the streaming while I can, too. After all, I am paying for it. Here are some interesting titles now on the IW:

*WWE Films: Netflix signed a deal late last year to offer World Wrestling Entertainment's original films on its streaming service. OK, that DOES seem more like a cruel punishment than a kind reward for customers--"Hey, we aren't gonna get the new "Mannix" set, but enjoy Triple H in "The Chaperone"--but the best part of the deal is the offering of a slew of documentaries put out by the company. Unfortunately, the matches of the DVD sets are NOT included, nor other extras, but the documentary features, such as the just-released "True Story of Wrestlemania," make for good watchin' for fans. And you non-fans, please stop snickering at the notion of the phrase "pro wrestling documentary" offering a contradiction in terms.

*Rocky and Bullwinkle: I can't vouch for picture quality or completeness yet, but Netflix is touting all 5 seasons of the show available for streaming, presumably the Classic Media DVD versions.

*Mystery Science Theater 3000: It's irritating that Netflix is not carrying the 4-episode Shout Factory box sets on DVD anymore, BUT the pain is eased by the fact that several months or so after street date, the last couple batches have come to streaming. In fact, there's a whole slew of great MST3K episodes on IW. I don't feel the need to own these (not that I begrudge those who do), and I think this kind of programming is a perfect option to have at the ready on Instant Watching. Let's hope this continues.

*Gangs of New York: I don't care what anyone says, this is a great movie. Well, I loved it, and I make no apologies for it.

*Invaders from Mars: Yep, it's the trippy 1953 version, a great early sci-fi thriller.

I'll try to write more next week after the standard first-of-the month onslaught of new titles...

A "younger, hipper" Miss Marple?

Yesterday, news spread that Jennifer Garner was slated to star as a "younger, hipper" Miss Marple in a big screen incarnation of Agatha Christie's legendary sleuth. I believe I first saw the story on Yahoo, but I also believe that every outlet that reported the info used the phrase "younger, hipper." Now, just because word came today that maybe this isn't a done deal after all doesn't mean we shouldn't make fun of it.

Do we really need a younger, hipper Miss Marple? Isn't the older, unhip version kind of the point of the whole thing? Just because you can make something shinier doesn't mean you should. Yet Hollywood, which is all about making itself shinier, constantly tries this sort of stunt. I'm already dreading Emily Blunt as a younger, hipper Jessica Fletcher in "Murder, She Wrote: The Movie."

Besides, Jennifer Garner ain't that young and hip. Oh, compared to most traditional (read: correct) screen interpretations of Miss Marple, she is, but big deal. My grandmother's hope chest is younger and hipper than the average Marple.

This project just has disaster written all over it, and who wants to go see a movie called "MISS DISASTER MARPLE"? Not I, said the first little blogger.

I think I found the perfect foe for Batman

I have been out of touch with the ongoing comic book world for a while now, especially the DC corner of it, but I have read enough Batman in the past decade or so to know that the character at some point became basically unstoppable. The World's Greatest Detective has been portrayed as capable of bad-assing and conqering pretty much any threat, no matter how powerful, clever, or even cosmic in nature.

So I'm excited to report that I have found elsewhere in the world of popular culture an opponent formidable enough to pose a challenge to the Caped Crusader. I refer to that force of nature known as TV's Hazel Burke.

Yep, I've been watching a lot of "Hazel" lately thanks to Antenna TV, and repeated exposure to the titular character has confirmed much of what I already knew would make her a worthy adversary even for the Dark Knight: She's a prize-winning housekeeper, an acclaimed chef, a successful football coach, and a championship-level bowler. That skill set alone would force Bats to reach into his utility belt to try to stop her.

But you can add to those qualities her uncanny awareness of human nature (some might call it mind-reading ability), her unparalleled stubbornness (a trait which would make her hard to finish off in any showdown), and of course her masterful passive-aggressive manipulation skills (which serve her well when she wants something, say a raise, from Mr. B).

I've learned even more relevant data, however, about the Baxters' domestic engineer, info that really has to put Hazel on at least an "even odds" basis against Batman. When she was trapped in the lair of a group of disreputable gangsters, she revealed that her awareness of the situation was boosted by the "private detectin'" class for which she paid 90 bucks. Take that Bruce Wayne, you billionaire, you. 90 bucks for Hazel is the equivalent of about 90 million for you. Hazel is constantly improving herself, no matter the cost, and she might well rival you in the sleuthing department. Plus there's the fact that she conked a thug over the head with a frying pan--off camera, sadly, but still ample evidence she can handle herself in a tussle.

Speaking of Hazel's combat prowess, in a later episode, she told a friend that in the past she had given judo lessons at the local lodge hall. All this and judo, too? I know Batman is stronger than Olympic-caliber at all martial arts--in fact, he excels at seemingly every form of combat known to man and even some unknown to man, plus a few not even invented yet--but I wouldn't bet against Hazel.

One thing that hurts Ms. Burke in this theoretical match-up, however, is quality of opposition. The Dark Detective has scored victories over luminaries such as The Joker, Lex Luthor, even Crazy Quilt. Hazel's main opposition consists of softies like Mr. B. and the volatile but ultimately easy tamed Mr. Griffin. I mean, come on, when your rogues gallery consists of your boss and a fat business magnate who buckles at the sight of a plate of homemade brownies, well, you're not seasoned against big-league villainy.

Still, I would never bet against Hazel. Her occasional signs of weakness only make her more fascinating and all powerful a character. When she struggled to get a stain out of the carpet, I was relieved because it indicated that Hazel Burke was in fact a mere mortal and not, as I had suspected, a temporary shell hosting an otherworldly deity. Batman is allegedly mortal, but he just came back from the "dead" last year and will likely never be truly beaten...unless he faces a certain irrepressible 1960s TV maid. Shirley Booth has long since passed, but her character can live on in the medium of comic books. DC, make this happen.

Brooks on Books: Looking at the Bowery Boys

There's a reason I titled this post "Looking at the Bowery Boys." Richard Roat's book "Hollywood's Made-To-Order Punks" is a heartfelt tribute to the actors who inhabited the Dead End Kids, Little Tough Guys, East Side Kids, and Bowery Boys series as well as a decent filmography. What it is not is a comprehensive text history of the cast or the films. There are a ton of great pictures though, and the book does its job.

As a relative newcomer to Bowery Boys fandom, I found that this book both surpassed my expectations and came up short. I got more photos than I expected and enjoyed them more than I could have hoped. On the other hand, I didn't learn as much about the Bowery Boys as I hoped.

One of my main goals going into "Hollywood's Made-To-Order Punks" was to find out what the heck happened to Billy Benedict, AKA "Whitey," who abruptly left the series without explanation. Well, at least it felt abrupt to me as I followed along with Turner Classic Movies' sequential screenings of the Bowery flicks. There's a nice biographical sketch of Benedict, a few head shots, and some warm memories the author shares of his own personal relationship with the actor. But there is no explanation of why he left or under what circumstances. This is a pretty good encapsulation of what the book is about. It delivers what it does but is far from comprehensive, nor is it intended as such.

Here is what you DO get in "Hollywood's Made-To-Order Punks": A brief essay about the films of the gangs in their various incarnations, followed by a series of brief castmember bios and selected filmographies (starting with the more significant players, then filling in some of the supporting members and even the "Lost Players" Roat couldn't track down), a general photo gallery, a chronological look at the films, and a brief list of trivia questions.

I don't think this is Roat's full-time vocation, and I don't want to be too harsh here, but I do wish he had offered a little more in the "Feature Films" section. Each entry contains a release date, an excerpted "Variety" review, and a photo or movie poster reproduction from the film in question. Occasionally there are extra "Notes" with more tidbits about the movie, and I would have loved to have seen many more of those.

Roat clearly knows these guys, and I get the feeling he has a little more he could share. Many of the castmember entries are peppered with Roat's personal anecdotes and experiences with the performers. They provide a unique point of view for the book and make it something richer than a mere photo book or a mere filmography. It's not a cheap book, and I was left wanting just a bit more, but I still recommend it for any Bowery Boys fan who can appreciate the personal slant and the photographs. It's not a comprehensive history or a critical look at the films, but maybe some other book out there provides that.

This Week in DVD

The Tourist: I tried to come uo with a smart-ass remark for this movie, but Ricky Gervais used them all up at the Globes. All I know is Depp + Jolie should have added up to something better.

Yogi Bear: I think casting Justin Timberlake as Boo Boo must have been a middle finger to everyone who grew up watching the original show. I read some griping somewhere that Dan Aykroyd snubbed the advice of Daws Butler when preparing to voice Yogi, but I am not going to rip Aykroyd when Timberlake is around to be ripped.

Skyline: A sci-fi thriller starring...Eric Balfour? Oh, Eric Balfour, must you sully cheesy B-movies as well as seemingly a new mediocre series every single fall TV season?

How Do You Know: James L. Brooks used to be a reliable creative force as a writer/director, but, boy, did this one tank. Nicholson doesn't do enough movies anymore to be able to waste 'em like this. Still, there's something oddly compelling about casting Reese Witherspoon as a world-class softball player.

Hawkeye: The Complete Series: I know little about this series, but I know not to pass up a chance to get my Lee Horsely on! Did Tom Selleck ever do a show about the pre-Revolutionary American frontier? I think not!

I'm going to close out this week's short DVD post with a few titles I highlight only because of their, well, titles.

Kid Rock: The Complete Story: Shouldn't his "complete story" take about 30 seconds to tell? He made music, he got high, he partied with a bunch of chicks. Isn't that about it?

Uncle Farts' 70s Grindhouse Sleazefest: No, that's not a typo. There really is a DVD out this week called "UNCLE FARTS' Grindhouse Sleazefest." That title is low-rent and sleazy even by the standards of low-rent sleaze. I refuse to learn anything more about this video because, after all, how can it possibly live up (or down) to that name? Not even Uncle Fart, but Uncle Farts. Yeah, I'm a tad curious about this "Uncle Farts" character, but maybe he's better left as an enigma who will loom in my imagination as a larger-than-life figure...who happens to be named Uncle Farts.