Cultureshark Remembers Fabulous Moolah

You have to hand it to the Fabulous Moolah, who passed away last week at 84, for being so successful for so long in such a male-dominated realm as professional wrestling. She may have used some cutthroat tactics to do so, and as a performer she was a notorious villain, but in her ripe old age, she hit a late career stride doing comedy segments on WWF television. It was often surreal seeing the inappropriate and tasteless situations her and fellow retiree Mae Young would be placed in on "Raw" each Monday, but then, her whole career was pretty surreal to me.

As a child of the 1980s, I grew up on the rise of the WWF as Vince McMahon brought showbiz and professional production values to his wrestling promotion and took it national on the strength of superstars like Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, and...well, Moolah, sort of. Somehow, the Fabulous Moolah, who was already in her early 60s at this point, was STILL the face of women's wrestling as the WWF went national, then global in the middle of the decade.

Oh, she had a rival for a while in Wendi Richter, a young woman with a real "eighties" look who seemed destined for a push as the female equivalent of the Hulkster, but she never panned out. Besides, Richter's foil (and the foil of her temporary "manager" Cyndi Lauper) was Moolah.

The fact is, at a time when Vince McMahon was pushing young musclebound stallions to the moon on the men's side, the face of his women's division had more wrinkles than an episode of Lost. Moolah was not one of those freakishly fit seniors you see hawking vitamins or exercise equipment, either. The announcers would hype the fact (which wasn't) that she had held the title for umpteen straight years, and maybe that gave her credibility with some folks, but in fact, she looked like she couldn't beat anything stronger than a parking ticket. She didn't exactly have "Rock N' Wrestling" charisma, either. It was hard to imagine her dancing anything hipper than the Charleston.

I still don't know exactly why Moolah was given the keys to women's wrestling for so many years, but I know she's one reason I never cottoned to the ladies' division. Even years later when I saw the athletic, superior work of Japanese women, something had been ruined for me, and I think it was the ridiculousness of the legend of the Fabulous Moolah. I like "technical wrestling" as much as the next fanboy, butMoolah wasn't wrestling, she was RASSLIN'. She was hair pulls and stall holds and the kind of low-impact stuff I associate with clips from the 1950s and 1960s--no wonder considering she WAS in her 50s and 60s. I just couldn't suspend disbelief as I could with the men (and I could just barely do so there in the 1980s WWF).

Still, Moolah had a hell of a run. Years later, when the WWF began just giving up on teaching wrestlers to be entertaining female personalities and started teaching centerfolds to wrestle, Lillian Ellison, bless her geriatric, possibly mechanically enhanced (as opposed to chemically enhanced) heart, was stealing the show on national television just by being old. If she didn't redeem women's wrestling for me, she at least made me feel good that there is still a place for senior citizens in even the most youth-baiting of professions.

So the news of her death is a shocker to me, as when I was young and getting into wrestling, she was already ancient. Who knew she was mortal? When Keith Richards finally goes, I'll be less stunned than I was last week...but not as stunned as I was in 1985 when the Spider Lady beat Wendi Richter for the championship. Spider Lady then took off her mask to reveal herself as the Fabulous Moolah. I still don't get it, but then some things are just not meant for us TO get.