First Impulse: Top 50 TV Icons

OK, so last week Entertainment Weekly and TV Land unveiled their list of the top 50 TV icons in a two-hour special, with 100-51 posted on the web. As soon as the project was announced, I had a feeling the result would irritate me, yet I knew I'd end up watching it.

I was correct on both counts.

I know there are people at EW with a sense of history, and I know there USED TO BE people at TV Land that thought the same (back before "Extreme Home Makeover" was deemed worthy of their schedule), and these are supposed to be the top icons of all time. But the list seems heavy on more recent, arguably less enduring personalities and characters.

I know I'm a grumpy old man in a not-really-that-old body, so I am supposed to bitch about this sort of thing. But my wife is neither grumpy old nor not-really-that-old nor old at all, and before I even said anything to her, she saw the cover of the EW issue that contained the magazine story and told me, "I don't think JENNIFER ANISTON is one of the top 50 icons of anything."

Exactly, my dear. Exactly.

So before I looked at the mag or looked online for the list (and I still haven't done either), I watched the TV show. Number 50 was Larry Hagman. That's fine. J.R. Ewing is one of the best characters in TV history, and besides, his segment gave them a chance to run an old "Sea Hunt" clip. Of course, this had the effect of making me with TV Land would show stuff like "Sea Hunt" again instead of "Designing Women" and "Just Shoot Me."

But when I saw #49, I couldn't help but echo it with an anguished yell: "Calista Flockhart!?" Absurd. I jokingly took the remote and stopped the recording, acting like I was gonna leave the couch and stop watching. My wife and I had a chuckle, and then I restarted the special.

Cue #48. Cue me: "Jimmy Smits!?" My wife grabbed the remote before I could stop the recording again.

As the list went on, most selections made sense as significant icons, if not their placement. I'm trying to remove my own biases here, but Carson #1? I don't think so. He's overrated, for one thing, and for another, he coasted for years. His influence was undeniable, but will it endure past this generation? I'd put him top 10, but not so high.

Oprah #3? No way. Most of the top 10 was at least a little more sensible than Oprah.

I expected to see a slant towards more recent personalities, and that did happen to an extent. Eventually, though, even TV Land and Entertainment Weekly had to concede that, yep, a lot of old people from black and white TV shows were important. Lucille Ball was #2, and I am not a huge fan, but I think she should be easily in the top handful. Jackie Gleason, who had a profound historical impact on the medium, is too low at 13.

Carol Burnett above Mary Tyler Moore? Not in my book. Henry Winkler at 32? Way too low. The Fonz will be an enduring icon for decades to come. Heather Locklear is 25, but Bob Denver is nowhere to be found? Kermit but no Big Bird? Arguable, perhaps. I didn't expect old-schoolers like Ernie Kovacs or Dave Garroway or Steve Allen (who, to be fair, was mentioned in the David Letterman segment), but how about Bob Hope? I wouldn't expect nods for acclaimed pioneering writers like Paddy Chayefsky or Sterling Silliphant, but how about a writer who became a TV star himself--Rod Serling? Barbara Walters but no Mike Wallace? What about Merv Griffin?

Where the heck is David Janssen? George Clooney seems included only because of his movie fame. His ER run wasn't even as long as one might think.

I could gripe for pages and pages, but the point is that the list reflects the decline of TV Land. At the risk of taking this basically frivolous two hours of light entertainment wayyyy too seriously, I have to complain. TV Land used to stand for TV history and heritage. Even if it was a marketing gimmick, it lived its gimmick and lived it well. Now it's a shell of itself, and we can't even count on it to provide a list-type show with integrity. Granted, there were some big nods to history on this list, but the overall package doesn't do justice to the medium.

I expect better from you, Entertainment Weekly, even though you seem to gradually be dumbing down your magazine. I've pretty much given up on TV Land.