My wife reads "People" so you don't have to: Sweet Valley update

"People" spotlights "Sweet Valley Confidential" as its "Buzz Book" in the book section of its April 18 issue, and if you think I'm going to mock that selection, well, you're wrong. I mean, give "People" credit for even having a book section, and besides, a lot of its readers may well be interested in what the "Sweet Valley High" twins are up to in this "series reboot" from author Francine Pascal.

(Before you ask, I have no vested interest in the franchise. I had a passing familiarity with the series through my little sisters...and of course the haunting theme song to the TV series).

What amuses me is the way the mag summarizes how the characters have changed, in a paragraph titled..."How They've Changed":

They're on Facebook and listen to Beyonce.

Is this all it takes to denote "modern women" these days? Perhaps this is just "People's" shorthand speaking and not an accurate reflection of how Pascal has updated her characters, but I don't know, that sounds a little shallow and generic. I just had to laugh at the thought of an author hunched over her keyboard, straining to connect with today's 27-year-old and reconcile who her famous twins should be with her readers' conceptions of who they were. "I got it! They listen to Beyonce! And they'll use Facebook a lot!"

Then, in the paragraph titled "Should You Read It," "People's" Clarissa Cruz writes:

"Sweet Valley Confidential" is poorly written and out of touch...and the characters have gotten even more oblivious and superficial with age. But if you once devoured "Sweet Valley" books like bonbons, it's a confection you won't be able to resist."

Hmm. Sounds an awful lot to me like, "If you're still lightweight enough to have read the lightweight stuff you read as a teen, you'll eat this up. " Maybe "People" isn't as benevolent to its audience as I thought.

Oh, and elsewhere in this issue, we learn Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher attended Reese Witherspoon's wedding. Why? I don't know. "People" can't answer everything for you, you know. Sometimes you gotta do a little research yourself.