Daylight Savings Time for TV? (Part 1)

This piece was originally going to be "in honor of" Daylight Savings Time, and then I realized, wait, I hate Daylight Savings Time. So while I still hope this is a worthwhile read, I want it to be in spite of Daylight Savings Time.


Oh, I can handle it well enough when we Fall Back and get an extra hour. But Spring Forward--fuggedaboutit. And this thing seems to happen earlier and earlier each year, so every 11 months, it seems like, this arbitrary construct pops up and snatches an hour of my life away from me, an hour I could use to live, to love, to cure diseases, to fight crime, or even to craft an outstanding blog post.

OK, I'd surely just be sleeping another hour. But that hour of sleep is a precious commodity when you have children!

Anyway, I got to thinking (I tried to stockpile as many thoughts as I could before losing that hour of sleep this weekend), if I could, in similar fashion, somehow just snatch away one hour of television like that, what would I choose to eradicate?

Now, I don't mean that I would eliminate, say, 9:00 PM to 10:00 PM Tuesdays on TLC, though without looking I can tell you it would probably benefit all mankind. No, I mean one particular hour of television that already aired--if I could pick one to have removed so that it would be as if it never happened, what would it be?

There are many ways to go about this. One might want to erase any random hour of a lousy series like "Pink Lady and Jeff" or "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour" (though I got to admit, I like watching those). You could tighten a miniseries by chopping off one hour of it.  Or how about deleting an awful pilot or TV special from the record books forever? Just don't get rid of anything that offers genuine entertainment value. Jackie Gleason's notorious "You're in the Picture" game show, paired with the follow-up episode in which he apologized for how bad the game show was, is a flop for the ages, but it's hilarious in context and is one of my favorite TV rarities.

Another person might take a stinker of an episode from a beloved series and obliterate it. Some might argue the "Seinfeld" finale or the "Sopranos" finale would be better left unaired. Maybe you would want to prevent a shark-jumping moment, like, say, Fonzie jumping the shark.

I can imagine some people just wishing they had never watched "Cop Rock." For as many people who complain about each week's episode of "Saturday Night Live," I'd think a lot of people would welcome the chance to kill an hour of a "Worst Episode Ever" that came to mind.

One of the notorious fiascos of all time is the "Star Wars Holiday Special," which is actually longer than an hour. Would you get rid of most of the wookie stuff but keep the Boba Fett cartoon?

Hey, maybe the politically minded TV fan would want to nuke the first Kennedy/Nixon debate in hopes of getting Tricky Dick elected. Or a Democrat might want to wipe Reagan's "I will not use my opponent's age against me" quip from the 1984 debate in hopes of getting Mondale elect--oh, who are we kidding, it would take a hell of a lot more than that, but you get the idea.

I think my selection looks at a little bit of a bigger-picture scenario. I believe I could change the medium for the better if I were able to just take away the one hour I have in mind, a sort of Daylight Savings Spring Forward for TV, if you will. I also assume that if we had done so at the time and prevented it from airing, the events and hours of television broadcasting that followed would change as well.

What would YOU choose given the power? I have made my choice, but as I have rambled on enough for today (I blame lack of sleep), I will reveal that choice tomorrow, thus giving you a chance to mull over your own ideas. (I put "Part 1" in the title, so this ain't a bait and switch...right?) Of course, if you so desire, you can simply Spring Forward to tomorrow's post, in which case I will join you right above this one.