I will not watch it!

Thanks for promoting the heck out of it, Fox, but, no, I won't watch The New Girl.

Thanks to you, too, Hulu, for your incessant recommendation of The New Girl and for always giving it a prominent place on my page for my convenience if I should ever decide to watch it.

However, since you've been doing that for months and I still haven't watched it, may I make a humble suggestion that maybe it's time to offer another recommendation? You know, something I might actually click and view? Or maybe you could just get it out of the way and move up all the shows I do watch and make it easier for me to view them?

See, I tried the show before, and adorkable or not, it's just not for me. It doesn't matter if Coach is back or isn't back. It doesn't matter if Schmidt is being outrageous. It doesn't matter what "the gang" is up to this week, last week, next week, or any given week. I ain't gonna watch it.