MLB Teams Ranked in Ascending Order of the Coolness of Their Managers' Surnames

THE BOTTOM TIER (Nondescript/not much to say about them):

30) Philadelphia Phillies Gabe Kapler

29) Atlanta Braves Brian Snitker

28) Milwaukee Brewers Craig Counsell

27) Cincinnati Reds Bryan Price

26) New York Yankees Aaron Boone: Aaron just doesn't seem as outdoorsy as Boone, so he suffers from the dissonance.

25) Anaheim Angels Mike Sciosia: I checked 3 times and still can't spell it right, and this is a guy I remember catching for the Dodgers.

24) Miami Marlins Don Mattingly

23) Texas Rangers Jeff Bannister

22) Boston Red Sox Alex Cora: Needs a cool nickname, like "CoCo Cora."

MIDDLE-TIER (sound like decent salt-of-the-earth types you could have a beer with)

21) Chicago Cubs Joe Maddon

20) San Diego Padres Andy Green

19) L.A. Dodgers Dave Roberts

18) Washington Nationals Dave Martinez

NEXT TIER: (Something distinctive but not worthy of the top tier)

17) Detroit Tigers Ron Gardenhire: Decent guy, runs the hardware store, fixture at the local VFW.

16) Tampa Bay Rays Kevin Cash: Maybe a tick away from having a good action star name.

15) Cleveland Indians Terry Francona: I am ranking him higher than he deserves because I can't detach him from the "Tito" nickname.

14) St. Louis Cardinals Mike Matheny: Elevated slightly by the alliteration.

13) Toronto Blue Jays John Gibbons: Sounds like he should be a snooty Humanities professor at a Liberal Arts school--not that it's a bad thing, mind you.

12) Seattle Mariners Scott Servais: I always liked the fact that at one point there was a Scott Service and a Scott Servais on active MLB rosters. Hey, is Scott Service managing anywhere?

11) Minnesota Twins Paul Molitor: I was always fascinated by the name "Molitor," which I have never heard anywhere except attached to this Hall of Famer-turned-manager

10) Chicago White Sox Rick Renteria: bonus points for "Rick."

9) Arizona Diamondbacks Torey Lovullo: This name just...confounds me. I don't know what to make of it.

8) New York Mets Mickey Callaway: Should be playing Vaudeville as part of a family act.

TOP TIER

7) Baltimore Orioles Buck Showalter: BUCK earns a man automatic entry into the upper tier of baseball names.

6) Houston Astros A.J. Hinch: Similar to "Buck."

5) Oakland Athletics Bob Melvin: This name is so uncool that it somehow becomes cool. This is like the Pabst Blue Ribbon of baseball names.

4) Pittsburgh Pirates Clint Hurdle:  I am a big Pirates fan, but I like Clint because he sounds like he's one syllable away from being a Flintstones character.

3) San Francisco Giants Bruce Bochy: "BOACH" may be the best managerial nickname in all of baseball. It sounds like a crude gesture of some kind.

2) San Diego Padres Bud Black: I mean, this could be a superhero's secret identity.

1) Kansas City Royals Ned Yost: I don't think Ned Yost is a particularly cool manager, but yyou betcha he has a great salt-of-the-earth kind of name. I KNOW they don't make "Ned Yosts" anymore, but the question is, do they even HAVE Ned Yosts anymore? Well, they got one here in Kansas City, and maybe another one in a bowling alley in Iowa, and that's it, so let's appreciate them while we have them.