Monday, March 10, 2014

You Make the Call: The Key to Good Citizenship?

Last weekend, I was out for my daily constitutional when I spotted something on the ground. Always susceptible to the charms of a bright, shiny object, I bent down and saw a set of keys beside and almost underneath a driver-side rear passenger door of a nice SUV. The vehicle was parked alongside the curb of a house. I was 95% certain which house it was parked in front of., but it was far enough away from the mailbox to give me 5% of doubt..

I picked up the keys and walked up to the front door, then rang the doorbell. I waited a few seconds and heard some footsteps.  I rang the bell again, waited again, and gazed at the peaceful suburban cul de sac. That last part isn't really relevant, but I thought I'd try to add a little flourish to this post. Thing is, nobody answered the door! This despite the car in the driveway in addition to the SUV.

Folks. here's your chance to play along at home. What would YOU do in this situation? Yes, it's time again to play...


Do you...

A) Run back down to the curb, try the keys on the SUV, start it up, and drive off yelling, "So long, suckers!"

B)  Leave a flaming bag of dog feces on the doorstep (let's just assume you can get the bag on short notice), ring the bell several more times in succession, and run away laughing.

C)  Throw the keys as far as you can in the direction of the other side of that peaceful suburban cul de sac (Hey, that phrase sort of paid off, didn't it?)

D) Put the keys right back where they were (Note that a significant snowstorm was forecast for that evening and thus it might have been tough to find the keys later).

E) Cut your walk short and rush home to watch an episode of "The Larry Sanders Show," totally forgetting you still have the keys in your pocket, but, hey, so what, because you're watching "Larry Sanders."

E) Set the keys down on the door step in a gentle fashion, then walk away sheepishly, hoping you really were being a good Samaritan and not just preventing some poor clod from finding his damn car keys because he knows he must have dropped them right by the rear passenger door.

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