What Happens in Laughlin Stays in Laughlin (we hope)

Years from now, as some outlet does a retrospective on the worst of the decade of the oughts, some writer, talking head, or C-list celeb will bring up Viva Laughlin, and we'll all have a chuckle and wonder what CBS was thinking. Even two episodes was too many, but CBS did yank it quickly, so at that indeterminate point in the future, someone may, after enjoying their chuckle, be curious enough to seek out an episode and see how amusingly bad Viva Laughlin was.

Oh, may these words I put type now last until that very time: DON'T DO IT!

Viva Laughlin is, or I should say was, not entertainingly bad. It was just bad. I barely made it through the first episode, and that I did with great discomfort. My wife was able to laugh her way through it, and she enjoyed the experience so much, she came back several nights later for the second, perhaps final installment. I love my wife. I admire her youthful spirit, her sense of humor, and her joy of living. But Viva Laughlin was just bad.

First of all, it was not merely a show where the actors broke into familiar songs every so and often to further the story. A musical of that type could at least get effort points (if not Nielsen points). Instead, the soundtrack burst into songs--original vocals and all--while the cast just sang along. It wasn't original music; it wasn't even karoake. It was the actors singing along to actual music. What in the world was the point?

Then you take an unappealing lead, who was some guy other than Hugh Jackman. Now, that's a problem considering the ad campaign showed off the show's big shot exec producer and spotlighted his stint in the first episode. Hugh sings! Hugh dances! Well, Hugh apparently only performed in the first episode. He only spoke in the first episode, he only hid his embarrassment in the first episode, he only visibly turned over in his head the tax benefits of writing this whole thing off in the first ep--you get the idea. He only appeared in the first episode.

The scrub that WAS the lead of Viva Laughlin doesn't seem a particularly good dancer, singer, or actor. Sorry to be harsh, Lloyd Owen, but I can't believe CBS built a show around you. But at least you're not Melanie Griffith. The show was mostly just dull until Griffith showed up, at which point the Suckiness Factor just exploded beyond known human measurement. Her "duet" of "One Way or Another" with Owen was--yes, I'll admit it--laugh-out-loud funny. Griffith is one of the most overrated "movie stars" of the last 25 years, and this performance is another sign (WB's late, unlamented "Twins" being the other) that she ain't cut out to be a TV star, either.

I got a few yuks from Griffith pretending she has charisma enough to vamp it up like it matters, but after that laughter faded, I was stuck with a really bad show, and one that didn't even have the courage to go all the way with its own gimmick. Again, I ask, what's the point of watching actors sing along to the original versions of popular tunes? Not only that, even though the show is pointedly not called "Viva Las Vegas," of course this show has to spotlight the Elvis standard. A great ditty, to be sure, but a boring choice.

In fact, Viva Laughlin was just that--boring. Got me, Google searchers of 2012? IT'S NOT WORTH TRACKING DOWN. Let this show fade into obscurity. Now, Cop Rock--there's one you might want to get your hands on...