Did Kid Rock give us the "song of the summer"?

Every year, about August or so, the entertainment media starts talking about "the song of the summer," trying to find a tune that has defined, dominated, or otherwise symbolized the season. I don't usually worry too much about an unofficial title like "the song of the summer," because it's meaningless and--OK, here's the real reason--the songs discussed usually stink.

In recent years, it's some rap song I can't stand or a hip-hop novelty song that is hyped as being our national soundtrack because a bunch of teenagers made it their ringtone.

This year, though, I'm forced to consider the case of one Kid Rock, whose smash hit "All Summer Long" was inescapable on many rock and pop radio formats. This number very well may have been the song of the summer of 2008. I'm forced to consider it now, in October, for several reasons: 1) I heard it on the radio yet again the other day, 2) While flipping channels the other day, I noticed it was somehow still in CMT's video countdown, and 3) I hate the song and feel a compulsion to write about it.

You know what Kid Rock would do if he were here and he read that I hated his song? He'd utter an obscenity or two and then punch me right in the nose. Maybe it would be the other way around, but I'm pretty sure he'd react with anger, then make a derogatory comment about my relative (to him) lack of income and/or testosterone, then claim he didn't care what I thought, anyway.

This is all cool--well, save for the punching me in the nose bit; I could do without that--because though I dislike Kid Rock's music, I sort of respect his weird musical integrity. The fact that he doesn't license his songs to iTunes because he is a believer in the album format kind of makes me respect him. At least he believes in stuff, and even though that "stuff" includes Bob Seger and goofy weddings, it's still stuff he believes in at the time.

But, Kid, "All Summer Long" is a terrible song. I think it's a strong contender for the season's standard bearer because it received a ton of airplay and because it has the word "Summer" in the title...and Kid Rock says the word "summer" in it...a lot.

I can understand why it would be popular. On one level, the idea to mash up "Sweet Home Alabama" with "Werewolves of London" is a pretty good one; musically, "All Summer Long" is catchy as hell. On another level, the tune feels unoriginal and generic, and maybe it's not so much an accomplishment at all.

The worst thing about the song, though, is the lyrics. Sure, Kid Rock must have had a great adolescence in Michigan, but I don't need to hear about it. His description of the ideal summer is just lazy. In the chorus, instead of bothering with an internal rhyme, he gives us this couplet:

"We were trying different things
We were smoking different things"

SHOCKER--Kid Rock got a weed reference in.

Then he throws in this clever turn of phrase:

"Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow"

Rhyming "bottle" and "tomorrow"? Come on, man. No self-respecting anthem should try to get away with that multiple times.

Hey, did I mention that Kid Rock tries to sing these lyrics? Give the guy credit for trying to inject some sincere emotion with a little crooning, but, whoa, his vocals on this one make me wish he were just rapping.

It all adds up to one of the most annoying songs of the year, not just the summer, but I have to admit with a grumble that it was a big success for Kid Rock. That doesn't mean I have to like it, though, and since this summer was otherwise a pretty good one for me, I'm gonna fight like hell to avoid associating the song with its time.

I just had to vent about it, though, even if it means risking a punch in the nose.