End of the Crummy Movie Cavalcade

Summer is gone, and it's time to say good-bye to the Crummy Movie Cavalcade. I had a good time ripping on some of the worst movies of the year, but an often-hectic real life got the better of me, and I didn't keep up with it like I anticipated. So many "deserving" movies missed their spotlight, and for that I apologize.

If you'll indulge me, then, I'll just make brief mention of some of the crummy movies I didn't salute this summer:

Mamma Mia!: BROSNAN SINGS! Cultureshark shudders.

Space Chimps: You know, in some studio circles, I firmly believe that there's an attitude somewhat akin to, "Ah, yeah, it stinks, but it's animated, so we'll get some bucks out of it."

The X-Files: I Want to Believe: Apologies to my dad and sisters, who used to watch this show back in the day. But it's 2008, and I don't even know if my dad and sisters knew this movie even came out. I don't think they missed much.

Swing Vote: Got to give Kevin Costner credit for continuing to make movies that strive for to inspire with a strong sense of Americana and decency. The effort would probably have more impact if America still liked him.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: 3 things I never thought I'd see in my lifetime: 1) A "Star Wars" movie in theaters without anyone caring, 2) Shannen Doherty co-starring with Jennie Garth again, 3) The Cubs winning the World Series. Now, in the span of mere months--well, OK, that third one is still out there.

The Longshots: I don't care how good this movie might be, I can't get past these 4 words: "Directed by Fred Durst." You know, even if I could get past them, I wouldn't.

The Rocker: R.I.P., Rainn Wilson, Leading Man. 2008-2008.

Babylon A.D. I'd rather see "The Pacifier II.*"

Disaster Movie: More evidence that God either doesn't exist or is cruel: We have to wait years between seasons of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," yet one of these "___ Movie" parodies comes out every few months.

*This wise-ass comment is meant to express snide disdain for Vin Diesel and should not be misconstrued as an actual endorsement for the production of a sequel to "The Pacifier."