Saturday, June 13, 2009

First Impulse: ABC's Fall 2009 Schedule

Continuing my series of initial takes on the networks' announced fall lineups, I'm looking at ABC today.

We'll start with Monday because isn't that the best way to kick off the week, with "Monday Night Football?" Only thing is, that's on ESPN now and has been for a few years, so there's really no reason to watch the Alphabet Network on Mondays. Two hours of "Dancing with the Stars" certainly isn't, and though I have heard good things about "Castle," which follows it at 10:00, I haven't seen them, so I'll stick to complaining about how bad "Heroes" is and piling up episodes of "Chuck" on my DVR that I won't get around to watching.

Tuesdays it's "Dancing with the Stars" again because, after all, you gotta have a results show. Preceding it at 8:00 is a new reality show from Mark Burnett called"Shark Tank." That's all I need, a reality show that makes us sharks look like idiots. At 10:00 is a crime drama called "The Forgotten," which is of course just begging smart-assed TV critics to comment.

ABC will do something interesting Wednesday. Lately it has been sprinkling its comedies throughout the schedule to fill gaps, like, "Hey, we need something before 'Lost,' here's 'Miss Guided'" or whatever, but this fall it presents a night of all-new sitcoms. "Hank" sounds the most promising, simply because it stars Kelsey Grammer, while "Cougar Town" sounds the least promising, simply because it's called "Cougar Town."

After the 4 new sitcoms, it's "Eastwick," a show with a supernatural premise that might sound sort of different if it weren't already a novel and a Jack Nicholson movie decades ago. Rebecca Romijn is the top witch. And, John Stamos, I said WITCH, W-I-T-C-H, witch. This show doesn't sound worthwhile, but I really like what ABC is doing with the 4 new sitcoms from 8-10. Maybe 1 or 2 will actually stick.

Thursdays begin with David Goyer's "Flash Forward," a high-concept show that could be cool or terrible. Either way, it's off of ABC at 9:00 because it's time for "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice." At least, the TV would be off of ABC in my house, but my wife likes those shows, and, well, she's welcome to them.

Fridays are "Supernanny," "20/20," and between them "Ugly Betty," and you can tell how solid "Betty's" renewal is by its placement here. It goes into the fall in the "just happy to be here"category. Wake me up when Salma Hayek does a guest shot.

Saturdays are college football nights, and if I'm not mistaken, the Big Ten made a stupid decision to end Saturday night conference games this season. Did I hallucinate this, or is it one more sign of how behind the times that league is? Either way. Go PSU!

On Sundays, I will still watch "Desperate Housewives"--yes, I'm man enough to admit it--but the other retreads aren't on my radar. I have no use for "Brothers and Sisters," but I can't help but marvel at the staying power of "America's Funniest Home Videos." Every year, I forget it's on. Thank goodness for pro football. As for "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," is the qualifier even necessary anymore? When was the last time ABC showed the surgery stuff?

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