My wife reads People so you don't have to: Jen Aniston's Top 5 Moments

I'll spare you my rant about how overrated a celebrity Jennifer Aniston is, how she is disproportionately famous merely for having slept with Brad Pitt, etc. Instead, I'll give "People" the benefit of the doubt and presume it put her on its February 1 cover because it has new insight into that darned frustrating love life of hers, something a little more substantial than pointing out it's the fifth anniversary of when he dumped her.

Nah. I have to admit, I had no idea Laura Dern was "a trusted confidante." But the mag DOES offer a real treat: Jen's Top 5 Single Girl Moments." To wit:

1) FLAUNTING HER KILLER BODY: The "GQ" cover. Posing naked is, in this case, not demeaning or desperate, but the best revenge. I can never tell when it's OK for women to pose naked and when it isn't. I think all the women's mags should get together and establish some clear ground rules.

2) REBOUNDING PERFECTLY: Vince Vaughn was "the ideal fling" according to "People," which must make thousands of single women thankful the magazine doesn't operate a matchmaking service.

3) MAKING HIT MOVIES: Marley and Me was a hit, as the text reminds us. I guess "The Break-Up" was, too. OK, that's two, so I guess the S in "MOVIES" is justified.

4) DATING YOUNGER: As "People" cites, John Mayer and Bradley Cooper (and that, much like her fling with Gerard Butler, is of course in no way manufactured for publicity purposes, right?). Aniston is 41, and Cooper is 35. Whoo-hoo! You GO, girl! What a cradle robber!

5) TAKING DREAM VACATIONS: "She unwinds (and rocks a bikini) the way we all wish we could." Yep, I'm sure Brad Pitt has been eating his heart out every time he sees a shot on the beach while he's trapped in a dull existence with his unglamorous mate, a lifestyle that never sees them make headlines by traveling anywhere.