The Expendables: Cool/Uncool

I checked out this throwback action movie from Sly Stallone the other day, and I was slightly let down. I don't know why I had high expectations; in fact, I'm not sure why I wanted to see the flick in the first place. Many of the castmembers are actors I wouldn't go out of my way to see in a movie, yet somehow, throw all of them together, and I get excited.

I think, too, I had been led to expect "The Expendables" to be a way-over-the-top kind of affair, with explosions piled on top of fight scenes piled on top of cheesy 80's-style dialogue. Well, yeah, we get some of that, but it's really just a retro kind of action movie, not something so out of control as to inspire shock and awe.

Here are some of the cool and uncool aspects of "The Expendables":

COOL: Violence with real kick--for example, when people get shot, they don't just slump to the ground and moan for a few seconds as people step over them. No, their insides explode or blood comes spurting out of their riddled skulls.
UNCOOL: There is a set piece at the beginning, but the movie kind of settles down, and it takes a full 30 minutes for the ultraviolence to really get rolling.

COOL: Stallone the director and co-writer at least attempts to give the characters dimension, providing some quiter character moments to set up the action.
UNCOOL: These moments don't always work. And while I really admire Sly for the effort, you can argue, do we really need dimension in "The Expendables"?

COOL: The Planet Hollywood reunion near the beginning, with Stallone, Arnie, and Bruce sharing the screen.

UNCOOL: Considering how ballyhooed this brief but amusing segment was, it's kind of surprising to actually see it play out and notice how brief the stars are actually on screen together, as Stallone shoots it in a series of close-ups.

COOL: There are satisfying fight scenes.
UNCOOL: While Stallone doesn't mar the film with too-quick editing, the cutting is still a tad fast for my tastes. You have guys who know what they're doing and some decent fight choreography; let us see it. I don't think Stallone had to cover too much for the actors because of lack of physical ability. After all, he's the oldest one out there, and...

COOL: Stallone looks jacked up, and I mean jacked up for anyone, let alone a 63-year-old man.
UNCOOL: It's really kind of uncool, if not frightening, that a 63-year-old man is so jacked up.

COOL: Stone Cold Steve Austin is in the movie and acquits himself well as a credible bad-ass.
UNCOOL: He's not actually one of the Expendables, and I got the sense he could have been utilized better than as a chief thug for Eric Roberts' slimy top heel. And by the way, who thought it would be a good guy for Austin, who has pleaded no contest to domestic violence charges to smack the hell out of the female lead in the movie?

COOL: One of the other women in the movie is played by Charisma Carpenter. It's nice to see her, even if she has little to do.
UNCOOL: She pretty much only provides an excuse for Jason Statham's character to demolish some abusive a-hole (not Steve Austin) on a basketball court. Well, actually, that scene is pretty cool.

COOL: Mickey Rourke actually tries to get over some heavy-duty character stuff, and you gotta admit there's something compelling about him on the screen.
UNCOOL: Rourke isn't actually an Expendable, either, and despite a few memorable moments, you get the feeling he's not utilized as well as he could be.

I read that a sequel is in the works, which is not surprising, and I hope Stallone finds a better balance between character development and action, and also finds a way to either trim down the cast or work harder to make each person vital. I like the concept of a bunch of bad-asses thrown together to perform some impossible mission, but I won't rush out to see an "Expendables II." I will gladly rent it, though, and hope for another amusing action flick.