I'm going to say this right at the top here, and it's important that you read this carefully because The Greatest Cable Channel Known to Mankind is running "Texas Carnival" again this Monday, and this information may be vital:
You have to love a movie that leads to a climactic chuck wagon derby.
That's right, you may come to "Texas Carnival" for the songs, the farce, or co-stars Red Skelton and Esther Williams, but you'll stay for the chuck wagon derby.
A chuck wagon derby is a contest in which teams drive a horse-driven wagon across miles of expansive desert, pause to prepare and serve a meal, and then get back in the vehicle to race to the finish.
Why is this not a regular program on CMT? Surely the network that kicked music aside for endless reruns of "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" and "Wife Swap" isn't too upscale for the American Chuck Wagon Derby League. You know what, though? Come to think of it, the Viacom network would probably preempt the ACWDL for "Trick My Truck." Let's put this exciting new sport on RFD-TV, which could be not just a network, but a home for all the exciting chuck wagoning.
Until that day, we must settle for the thrilling footage in "Texas Carnival." Now, you may think I'm being facetious, but let me tell you, those wagons are really chuckin'. Oh, there's more than a bit of comedy involved, as one would expect when a drunken Red Skelton is one of the participants, but, hey, considering the event is supposed to be a lark, there's some real action. Apparently the idle rich like to do things like this at fancy Western resorts. It's sort of like the poor man's America's Cup, only without the poor. It's not quite the chariot scene from "Ben Hur," but it is fun to watch. I only wish the cooking didn't get short shrift. I can only imagine the filmmakers presumed audiences would rather see wagons tipping over than hardtack sizzling on a griddle.
What comes before this classic film sequence? There is plenty of entertainment outside the derby. Skelton and Williams are carny workers who, after an encounter with eccentric drunken tycoon Keenan Wynn (there's a lot of drunkenness in this picture), end up staying in his suite at a fancy resort. Much old-fashioned mistaken-identity humor ensues as Skelton is mistaken for Wynn and then decides to go with it. After all, he and Esther are hungry, and...why not?
Now, most people might be interested in the two stars, but I recorded this movie to see my boy Howard Keel, a cowboy who falls for Williams, and Ann Miller, who--spoiler alert--shows off her gams in a nifty dance or two. Keel and Miller may not be top billed, but they are the main attractions for me--well, at least till that derby.
I have to say, though, that while I underestimated the appeal of Esther Williams in the past, the more I actually see her, the more I get it. She's delightful in and out of the water (yep, she gets wet in this one, too) and has a lot more charisma than I expected. Look, there are a lot of silly situations in this movie, but it's all good, clean fun, and Williams and Keel pull off their romantic/comic tension credibly enough. But if they don't do it for you, enjoy the physical comedy of Red Skelton, the musical numbers, and a fun outright comic role for Wynn. There are even appearances by great character actors Hans Conreid and Donald MacBride.
"Texas Carnival" will never be included on a list of the great MGM musicals, but it sure is a lot of fun, pardner. And did I mention the chuck wagon derby? When you see the Albilene Cowpokes against the Round Rock Rustlers on RFD-TV, remember you read about it here first.
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