Two more reasons to yearn for a la carte cable TV pricing

ReelzChannel is now showing back-to-back "NewsRadio" reruns weeknights at 7:00 P.M.

Let me rephrase that: ReelzChannel, the outfit which purports to be "TV about movies,"* is showing reruns of a 1990s television sitcom each weeknight. Nothing against "NewsRadio," a quality program, but it's not "TV about movies." It's TV about RADIO. There's a difference.

Besides, it's had its runs on Nick at Nite and A&E in recent years. It is widely available on DVD--so available, in fact, I'm pretty sure you could get the whole series for less than 30 bucks recently.

I still don't understand which executive lost a bet that led to ReelzChannel showing "Carson's Comedy Classics," but at least that hasn't received widespread exposure this decade.

I guess ReelzChannel is destined to become just another channel as it moves away from its stated purpose and adds programming that you've already seen a dozen other places on the dial. Sound familiar? It should. It's happened to just about every other cable network in the last decade or so.

*just go to its website, and you'll see that phrase in the upper left-hand corner, and if you squint your peepers hard enough, you'll notice a little R symbol next to it. So the folks at Reelz are pretty proud--and protective--of their slogan and identity. Well, the slogan, anyway.

While I was scanning my TV listings, I noticed another wayward cable network. Hey, this is original research I'm presenting here, boys and girls. This offender is Hallmark Movie Channel, which is resorting to airing reruns of "Murder, She Wrote" and "Matlock." Not the "Murder, She Wrote" movies or the "Matlock" movies, but just regular, old episodes of those mystery programs.

What part of Hallmark MOVIE Channel is so incomprehensible? Clearly the "Movie" part is a bit of a puzzler over there. Come to think, the "Hallmark" part doesn't seem to fit some of the things I see on their TV outlets, either, so that leaves "Channel." Here I must be fair and admit that, yes, Hallmark Movie Channel IS still a channel. It's not one I want to watch very often, but it is a channel, and so for that, hey, bravo, Hallmark!

I mean no offense to Matlock and Jessica Fletcher lovers (trust me, I tried to rephrase that several times, and you just can't do it without sounding creepy), but why can't those programs stay on Hallmark? Is it that there is sooooooo much quality stuff on "the mothership" that there's nowhere else to put them?

Hmm. I doubt that the Hallmark Channel lineup couldn't accommodate those old standbys. Maybe eliminating the infomercials would make some room. Perhaps Hallmark Channel could even do with, say, one less episode of "Little House on the Prairie." Surely the moral fabric of the loyal HC audience would handle two hours instead of 3, especially if they get a powerhouse like Angela Lansbury returning to the lineup. What's a little more murder in your daily routine? You can't tell me even the most ardent fans don't feel like committing a little murder themselves after sitting through a dozen episodes of "The Golden Girls" in a given day.

As a bonus reason to yearn for a la carte cable pricing, let me cite this piece at Sitcoms Online, which reports that next month Comedy Central will show "Baywatch" leading up to its roast of David Hasselhoff. No, it's not a MST3k-style skewering of "Baywatch"--I'd give that a look-see, though--but it's just "Baywatch."

I don't want to rip Comedy Central too much here because it still does a lot of things right and it still serves its basic original function, more or less, but this is just stupid. Like Comedy Central's audience needs to be reminded what "Baywatch" is? Maybe there'll be a roundtable discussion immediately following each episode, similar to what TV Guide Network does with "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

And, hey, what's happening to those TV listings on TV Guide Network, anyway?

And have I mentioned how little Arts is on A&E? And did you ever notice that MTV doesn't play many videos anymore? And how about...