Crummy Movie Cavalcade: Sex and the City

I can still remember the first thought I had when I saw those early leaked pictures from this movie's New York shoots: "Hey, they're doing a Golden Girls" movie?

Mean? Yeah, I guess it is. But you have to forgive me for being grumpy about this entire project. The hype posits that the "girls" are FINALLY RETURNING for this big-screen version of the HBO series. Returning? They never went away! For one thing, new episodes ceased, what, 5 years ago? Reruns have been in syndication and in a high-profile slot on TBS. HBO itself has rerun the original versions and made them available for On Demand viewing. The DVD sets are all over the place. And besides… People have been talking about this movie ever since the TV show stopped!

Actually, I'm pretty sure speculation began before "Sex and the City" aired its finale--much like how people for some unknown reason wanted there to be a "Sopranos" movie, the show's fans and its cheerleaders in the Manhattan-centric entertainment news media were pushing the idea of a possible film. So, yes, we never had the opportunity to miss the show, even if we were so inclined to do so, and then suddenly that same entertainment news media started running these tease pics of the movie shoot. It's this relentless ongoing hype that turns me against "Sex and the City," not the film or the franchise itself.

OK, well, maybe I do have some gripes with the film and the franchise. For one thing, this movie is something like 2 hours and 20 minutes long. Why in the world does whatever story they're telling have to take 2 hours and 20 minutes? And furthermore...Ah, wait. I don't want to turn this into a big rant about "Sex and the City" itself. It has its dedicated fanbase, and I respect that. It's just that the concept of this movie as a phenomenon got way out of hand way too early, and that's what...

No, no, no. I think I AM gonna turn this into a big rant about "Sex and the City" itself. Like Carrie's cutesy voice-overs. And who cares about her and Mr. Big? And aren't these characters a little too old to be referring to each other as--there I go again.

What can I say? I want to give the fans of this show their moment and just let this entry in the Crummy Movie Cavalcade pass me by, but it's just so darned tough because of all the hype. I'm thankful my wife doesn't plan to try to drag me to this, but I already dread the DVD release hype and the sequel talk. I can't stop it, but I can try to avoid it.