Half-Assed Gourmet: Nectar of the "Ye Gods, that sucks!"

You ever pick up something new at the grocery store, try it, hate it, but then keep sampling it because you can't bear the thought of wasting the whole thing? Well, this just happened to me, but it's even worse because I got this iced tea on sale. Yet still I'm trying to salvage "my money's worth" from a half-gallon that cost me less than 2 bucks.

I like Turkey Hill iced tea, and I even like Turkey Hill diet iced tea, but I detest Turkey Hill diet green tea mango with ginseng and honey. It tastes like a blend of mouthwash and really cheap mouthwash. Maybe it's the ginseng? Any sane man would have dumped it down the drain after the first wretched gulp, but, no, I had to give it another chance. So I waited a few minutes, drank some agua to cleanse the system, and tried again. Still horrible!

Now, here I definitely should have admitted defeat and kissed my buck and a half good-bye. I would have gladly paid 5 bucks just to kill the aftertaste. Instead, I made a mistake. I placed the jug back in the fridge and let it be for a few days.

So what happens when I open the door a few days later looking for a tasty beverage? I start with the rationalizations. Maybe my taste buds were off. Maybe something I ate that day threw my inner tea tolerance off kilter. Maybe--eh, just maybe I ought to give it another shot. I swear I'm not normally this cheap when it comes to grocery purchases, but something inside me would not let me surrender. I was going to like this drink, darn it!

Except I wasn't. It still tasted of mouthwash, only now it was mouthwash that was a few days older. How can one company make something so good yet also produce this swill? I don't know if I'll be able to buy the good Turkey Hill tea again, and it's not the company's fault--well, of course it is in a sense--but mine, rather, for stubbornly forcing their weaker product down my gullet in a misguided attempt to train myself to enjoy it.

I'd like to tell you I finally did pour it into the sink and recycled the carton (thereby making "going green" refer to something besides my pallor after drinking this), but I left it in there. That's the bad news.

The good news is, my wife just told me her friend was over and had some of it. "I hope you don't mind," she said. "Mind? MIND? I hated that stuff. Did SHE like it?" Indeed, she did!

I feel vindicated! See? I'll get my money's worth yet from this stuff. I just have to invite my wife's friend back over to finish it off for me. And I have to do it soon because the container is still in my refrigerator, at least half full. And I'm getting thirsty. And, come on, how bad could it really be? And hasn't it been a while since I drank some tea...