True Confessions: Design Destination

OK, OK, I watched something on HGTV again the other night, but in my defense, I was with my wife, and besides, the focus of the show was the great nation of Aruba, also known as the honeymoon spot of yours truly and Mrs. Shark.

The concept of "Design Destination" makes for one super-sweet deal for the couple spotlighted. A big-shot TV designer (star of other HGTV productions, I'm told) sends the homeowners on a wonderful vacation (figuratively, I'm thinking, though it would be amusing to see scenes of her haggling with hotel owners and securing airfares), and they send back pictures and videos of their trip for "inspiration" as she redoes a problem spot in their house.

So, wait a minute, the lucky guy and gal gets an all-expenses-paid (again, I'm assuming, but HGTV might have made them kick in for expenses) vacation AND a makeover of a crappy part of their pad (in this case, the whole basement)? Sign me up!

What made this half-hour an enjoyable viewing experience for me and not a recipe for a good, old heap of seething resentment at someone else's good fortune was that the couple stayed at the same hotel we did in fabulous Aruba. The pair did many of the same activities and saw many of the same sights we did, too, which either means we planned our honeymoon well or else Aruba is just a damn small island.

As for the "inspiration" and design aspect, yeah, I guess that made some sense, but some of the connections were more obvious than others. I was skeptical of how the spiky aloe plants of the Aruban landscape inspired some of the decor, but even a slob like myself could understand why the big shot designer bought a huge ostrich egg to put in the basement. Aww, she's reminding the wife of the terror she felt when the mean birds nearly decapitated her while swarming for the food she was giving them!

This must be one of the best shows to be on--ever. Even if the designer misinterprets the videos you send back and does something wacky with your house, so what? You're still getting a remodeling job, and given that this couple consisted of a schoolteacher and a cop, I'm pretty sure it was all on the network's dime.

So, yeah, I watched some HGTV this weekend. Don't give me a hard time. It's an Aruban thing. I deserve a few moments to think about relaxing in the hot sun while I...uh, sit on my couch and think about how hot it is today.