True Confessions: Ride like the wind

Does anyone else, upon hearing Christopher Cross' "Ride Like the Wind" over the central sound system at the grocery store, immediately visualize themselves as a figure in some kind of thrilling chase sequence?

It's just me? No, it isn't! You lie. You LIE!

Yesterday wasn't the first time I've heard this particular song in a supermarket; nor will it be the last. Christopher Cross' brand of energetic Velveeta sailing "rock" will always be a perfect fit for store radio programmers looking to soothe yet kind of stimulate their customers.

The song triggers something in me that is more stirring than soothing, though. I pretend I'm a fugitive from international law (or something--what the hell kind of trouble DID Chris Cross get into that made him have to ride like the wind, anyway?) even as I gather my groceries. After all, I've got such a long way to go to make it to the border of Mexico that you can bet I'm gonna need provisions.

Milk: Check!
Bread: Check!
Sudafeds: Check. Hey, us fugitives have to fight colds as well as multi-agency manhunts, you know.
Rice: All right, this isn't as practical, but it was on sale.
Glazed doughnut with chocolate icing: Well, I'm entitled to a treat, aren't I? Besides, all that riding like the wind will burn off the empty calories.

I'd like to write that I had just time to assemble these items before making a furtive glance or two around me then darting out the store, but the truth is much less glamorous. I actually gave a polite nod to a lady who was ambling through the bakery section with her cart (though I DID entertain a suspicion that she was an undercover agent), went to the self-checkout, and paid for everything--with my own credit card, no less, a sequence which probably violated about 10 different rules of Cool Fleeing.

And anyway, the song was over well before then because I lingered in the magazine section to look at football previews.

Christopher Cross would be ashamed of me, perhaps, but the bottom line is I did make it out of the store and wasn't followed back to my house. I still have a long way to go (such a long way to go), but maybe I'll make it soon. And maybe Michael McDonald will be more forgiving.