Things Only I Want to See: Night Ranger

A friend and I were talking about seminal 1980s band Night Ranger the other day. Why? Hey, like we need a reason to talk about Night Ranger.

Anyway, the discussion, mostly focusing on the ridiculousness of the "Sister Christian" video, made me realize that I want to see a big Night Ranger comeback, but not just a triumphant world tour and maybe new album. I want to see a big 3-D Imax concert film to immortalize that tour, and I want that film to be directed by Martin Scorcese.

"Martin Scorcese Presents: Night Ranger: (You Can Still) Rock in America" would be the cinematic event of the year. I want this movie to be shot with a big budget, with cameras out the wazoo, with no holds barred.

I want the hits, I want headbands, and I want that drummer guy with the un-rock name of "Kelly" to rock out on vocals when appropriate. And while Jack Blades is a must, I also want that original keyboardist who I used to think looked Michael O'Donoghue even when I didn't really know who Michael O'Donoghue was. I understand he's out of the band right now. Get him back.

I want the music and the band to be prominent, of course, but I want to see the celebrities. Like, in between songs, we'd see big shots like Jack Nicholson and Leo DiCaprio addressing the camera about why they love Night Ranger and how they wouldn't miss this event for the world.

I want a limited release in L.A. and New York to build buzz, followed by a huge release all over America, which will presumably be still rockin' by then.

Tell me THAT isn't gonna be a clear-your-schedule, get-a-babysitter, brave-the-crowds kind of happening! Make it happen, Marty. Do it.