What movie should I go see this summer?

Longtime readers of Cultureshark will know that...I really don't have much to say anymore. No, I'm kidding--I hope. But longtime readers will know that I don't go the theaters much anymore, with the one sure visit coming around my birthday as Mrs. Shark and I do the dinner & date thing.

That I go so rarely increases the pressure to pick a decent flick when I do. Usually there's a simple, safe choice that is waiting in theaters around the time of my birthday: Go see the new Pixar blockbuster, enjoy the heck out of it, feel good about cinema for another year.

The summer of 2011 will be trickier, though, because I'm not really excited to see "Cars 2." Plus my wife made that decision easier when she told me before I even mentioned it, "I don't want to see Cars 2." So what does that leave me? Well, there are a bunch of would-be smash hits either on the way are already out, and maybe you can help me decide which one to pick. Unfortunately, the one I really would pay to see, the "Captain America" movie directed by Joe Johnston, comes out way too late this summer. So that leaves...

Thor: I wrote too much about my personal connection with the character here. This might still be around when I get to the theater, but I won't be heartbroken if it's not.

Bridesmaids: Well, seeing as how I'm a GUY...no, I don't think so. I might as well see "Hangover II"...

Hangover II: Except I don't really want to see "Hangover II." The first one was an OK video pick, but I don't need to pay to see more (technically probably a little less) of the same.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Is it just me or has everyone already forgotten that this even came out? The series has overstayed its welcome.

Super 8: I just don't "get" J.J. Abrams. Pass on this one.

X-Men First Class: I was always more a DC guy than a Marvel guy, and even within Marvel, I was never into the X-Men. This looks like one I will be eager to rent but not one to make my one movie of the summer.

Green Lantern: This was one I would have gladly lined up for (well, figuratively speaking, more likely is Mrs. Shark and I going to a matinee and walking right in) if the buzz was positive. So far the buzz ain't that positive. I like the character, if not Ryan Reynolds, and like the idea of a comic book movie with actual space elements. But the reviews aren't promising.

Cars 2 (June 24): See above. I hope it's good, though, because I'm sure I'll get to it eventually.

Bad Teacher (June 24): Do you think there'll be a lot of overflow to this from people who are turned away from sold-out "Cars" screenings? Maybe a decent comedy would be a good date night alternative to the noisy, cluttered blockbusters of the summer. Maybe, but this doesn't look like a decent comedy.

Harry Potter, Larry Crowne, Captain America: All probably too far after my birthday to be feasible options unless one of them looks so great it's worth the wait.

The apathy must be overpowering! The more I sit down and look at the actual selections this summer, the more I am tempted to say "Screw it," and head to a Redbox for a couple of dollar rentals instead.