Journey Into DVD: Davey and Goliath: The Lost Episodes.

Let me tell you why this recent DVD release is so disapointing. Come back with me to one quiet evening a few weeks ago when I put in my rental copy and sat back for an evening of "Davey and Goliath." My baby daughter was asleep, my wife was still at work--what better way to enjoy a few hours of solitude than with some quasi-religious stop-motion animation? Maybe not the most wild-and-crazy night, I grant you, but, hey, I like the show.

These weren't just any episodes of 'Davey and Goliath," these were the BANNED ones, the installments that, until recently, hadn't been on TV in years (I believe some of them still aren't shown). Yeah! NOW is this starting to sound like a wild night? You're darned right.

Before I get back to the DVD itself, I will show off a little bit and read your mind. You're wondering, "What the HELL could have made ONE Davey and Goliath episode undesirable on TV, let alone a whole disc's worth?" Pretty good, eh? And you even used the word "HELL," too.

Well, consultation with expert and good friend of Cultureshark Wik E. Pedia reveals the questionable stuff here consists of the usual staples of offensive TV programs--you know, language, nudity, and violence.

Of course, in this case, it's politically incorrect language (like referring to Native Americans as "Indians"), fleeting shots of Davey skinny sipping, and threats of violence or actual scuffling nowhere near that on the average episode of another show of that era like, say, "Mannix." This is kind of the odd thing about these episodes being pulled by the Lutheran Church (which financed and distributed the show): Only people who actually watch "Davey and Goliath" might be motivated enough to complain about this kind of stuff, and even then, is the Christian values crowd really all that worked up about whether or not a 40-year-old cartoon uses the phrase "Indians"?

There are other transgressions in these Lost Episodes, but as I sat down to watch the DVD, I wanted to forget about those I knew about and not learn about those I didn't. One of the disc's drawbacks (but not the main one) is the lack of bonus material or context of any kind. This certainly detracts from the package, but it makes it easier to go into the episodes cold.

I anticipated a fun experience of figuring out the naughty bits as I watched them. What would be the taboo moment that killed a given short in syndication? I enjoyed the show, anyway, but I figured this would give me a whole new level of enjoyment other than nostalgia.

So I started with the first episode, "Cousin Barney," and I waited for something offensive--even mildly offensive--to show up.

And I waited. And I waited. I waited some more. OK, these things don't go more than 15 minutes, but it felt like a while.

I didn't find anything objectionable, save maybe for the fact that this Cousin Barney character made a real ass of himself by screwing up the whole Hansen family's activities. What was the deal? I scratched my head trying to figure out why someone flagged the episode. I even went back and checked out a scene or two and kind of scanned through it, making sure I didn't miss anything.

I still found nothing. I felt like a real fool. Was I so insensitive, so jaded by modern-day "anything goes" sensibilities that I had lost my moral compass and couldn't pick out the no-nos in a children's cartoon?

Well, there was a good reason I came up empty. "Cousin Barney" is EDITED, as are some of the others on this disc. Apparently (again, credit to ol' Wik here), there was a sequence of the kids playing "Cowboys and Indians" that was removed, but instead of restoring it for this "Lost Episodes" DVD...nahhhhh, they just gave us the hacked-up version.

I suppose there is some point in this release. After all, some of the episodes have not been on TV in any form, so there is that. But why, oh, why. on a DVD--a product you have to purchase, rent, or (assuming you have good Christian values, of course) or otherwise obtain through a consentual exchange of goods and/or services, are we shielded from the "shocking" material?

The inclusion of edited episodes is, if not an outright travesty, a real bummer. It took the shine out of my evening. Whether that's proof of the DVD's weakness or my life's lameness is a different matter.