Me-TV to DC; I tell U what I think (Part 1)

I saw word over a month ago that digital subchannel ME-TV was finally coming to the DC media market, and this week FIOS got around to letting its customers know...sort of. "On or around March 1," an on-screen message tells us, we will see Me-TV on the system.

"On or around March 1"? It's like they're scheduling a service call. You gotta love how TV providers can only be precise when they're telling you when the bill is due. Are they just pointing a giant tractor beam up at the sky and hoping to catch the signal the next time it flies by?

The fact is, it's coming soon, and I must admit the Negative Nellie in me already laments that I didn't have access to this channel years ago, when it was better about showing edited and time-compressed programs...as in, it didn't (The Negative Nellie in me gets more and more strident as I age, but it's tough being a woman trapped in a man's body, so I try to indulge her). It's still nice to have the option of a classic TV channel 24/7, imperfect as it is.

Ah, let's just get the negative stuff out of the way today, why don't we? The part where I express my concern that since Me-TV recently announced it would be subscribing to the Nielsen ratings service, as that will create an inevitable decline as it moves towards blander programming, late night infomercials, and even--gasp--original programming.

And while I'm at it, let me run down the list of rerun-abused programs that I really wish Me-TV didn't carry. I realize these programs have their fans, and I realize that TV Land isn't TV Land anymore, but still...aren't we trying to avoid TV Land? Some of these shows just remind me of the sad decline of that once-great channel. With that in mind, I'd 86 these offerings (looking at the list of programs here on the official website):


*Bonanza
*Gunsmoke
--There was a lot more to the Old West than these two shows, yet TV Land ran them seemingly all day every weekend for years. The color hourlong "Gunsmokes," at least, seem a little overexposed, and "Bonanza" shows up on all those quasi-religious channels.

*I Love Lucy
--If you want to argue that any classic TV station worth its salt ought to have "Lucy" reruns, I'll listen.

*Bewitched
*I Dream of Jeannie
--Again, I know they have their fans, but they never seem to go away, and Me-TV has them back to back in a prime spot--8:00-9:00 P.M.--every weeknight.

*M*A*S*H
--For a show about a "Forgotten War," it sure is hard to forget about the show. Again, I acknowledge it's a classic, though never one of my favorites, but not only does this seem to turn up everywhere, it turns up in multiple-hour blocks. No one ever airs like one episode of M*A*S*H Fridays at 5:30.

*The Rifleman
--I love the show, but I list it here because it, too, has been everywhere. I mean, AMC airs it, for crying out loud.

Now, there are many other shows on the schedule that don't personally wow me, but I have no problem with them being on ME-TV, either because they aren't on elsewhere or they haven't been played out. There are others that seem played out to me because for a few years I had, like, 500 channels, but I know not everyone had access to stuff like American Life TV, so I won't gripe about those shows. Sorry to pick on these 7 classic series today, but maybe in their place we could get some real rarities or at least some programs that aren't getting a lot of exposure.

OK, Negative Nellie is gone (for NOW...MWAH-HA-HA-HA!), and in part 2 tomorrow, I'll highlight the shows I actually DO look forward to watching on Me-TV.