Me writing about the Oscars pretty much just to write about the Oscars

OK, it's a few days after the fact, and maybe everyone has had their say already--darned Internet--but I figure maybe someone, somewhere is curious what I thought about the show. So here goes, and I'll keep it brief:

I did not enjoy the broadcast, but I don't blame Seth MacFarlane as much as I do the production team. To me, no joke the host told was as obnoxious as the self-promotion indulged in through the elevation of "Chicago" to some kind of Modern Classic and, maybe worse, the mid-show shout-out to themselves they scheduled on a show where they cut people's microphones and played winners off with the theme from "Jaws."

I did laugh at some of MacFarlane's jokes, but overall his material seemed stale, and his self-conscious persona didn't help. Part of me wishes the ceremony had a little more class, but then again part of me wonders if it would have been funnier if MacFarlane (and the producers) just said, "Hell with it," went all in, and totally let go. As it was, Seth was at least a hell of a lot more reverent and engaged than James Franco. I didn't particularly need to hear him doing his lounge singer thing, though.

Speaking of that, though, I give credit to Charlize Theron for doing that little dance number right off the bat like that. I'd think most celebrities just want to show up and not have to worry about doing stuff like that. At least they got to do it early and get it over with.

I feel asleep during the presentation of Best Actor and Best Actress, so maybe I missed the best parts of the show. I really had no rooting interest or disinterest in anything, so the show itself needed to come through for me to stay engaged the whole night, especially when I had an awesome "Columbo" episode to watch during commercials and/or musical numbers. When I can't get pumped up for a James Bond tribute, something's wrong.

Speaking of musical numbers, MacFarlane told us the night was a celebration of music in the movies. Isn't that every year? Seriously it feels like every time there is a theme, it is musicals. So they did it again, and yet they still don't perform all the Best Song nominees.

I wasn't offended, as some were, with the Babs Streisand salute to Marvin Hamlisch at the end of the In Memoriam segment so much as I was just irritated she was out there. It did sort of single Hamlisch out somewhat, but I'm sure it was more a case of the producers being all excited about a chance to get Babs to sing. You know what? Every year this segment ticks someone off, and every year they find a way to tinker with it and tick someone ELSE off. I seriously think they ought to just scrap it if they can't just run the names and pics with the orchestra playing a tasteful song underneath.

.Wouldn't it have been funny to see a conversation between Kristen Stewart and Quentin Tarantino that night?

I knew he was old, but I never thought William Shatner looked OLD until Sunday night. That really drained a lot of the potential humor out of that Captain Kirk bit. I was just sad.

It wasn't a disaster of a show, but let me put it this way: When I opened Hulu Monday morning and saw The Oscars was available for streaming, I thought it was a cool thing. After I considered it a few minutes, though, I realized there wasn't anything on the telecast I wanted or needed to see again.