21) Local news: It makes you sit through stories that are either pointless or depressing in order to get to what really matters: The weather forecast. And then that's usually off, anyway.
22) BBC America: Thousands of hours of programming, past and present, to try to obtain, and this network settles for endless airings of "How Clean Is Your House?" The American Beeb doesn't show enough of what you want it to show, and when it does, it's hacked up for extra adverts.
23) On Demand...but On Their Terms: FIOS-TV's selection of NBC On Demand shows looks expansive, but there's a big problem: Fast forward and rewind are disabled on each episode! Imagine how aggravating this would be if NBC had anything worth demanding.
24) Infomercials: I miss the days when, at the end of a day of programming, you got a nice, solid test pattern. Of course, these days infomercials all over the place and all over the clock, but they never hawk anything cool--except those TimeLife CD sets. Those can stay.
25) Awards shows: The only time we care about what happens on one of these things is when someone acts like an a-hole. There are enough places to see a-holes on TV without manufacturing pseudo-events to give them more of a platform.
26) VH-1 reality shows: Hey, speaking of platforms for a-holes...Most all these kind of shows are terrible, but VH-1 somehow manages to create the most annoying (given a bigger budget, I'll bet Fox Reality could compete). Maybe it's because theirs breed murderers?
27) "Whatever, Martha": Fine Living Network airs a program that consists of Martha Stewart's daughter and some gravy-training pal (a gravy-train on a gravy-train--the sauce must be getting pretty thin) watching an episode of Mom's show and making bitchy comments. Keep this in mind the next time you trash Spike for being inane.
28) "CSI" on Spike: Fact is, Spike IS inane, only now it has broadened its horizons and replaced some of its lowest-common-denominator guy-centric programming with lowest-work-needed programming: endless reruns of the "CSI" franchises. Look at Spike's schedule. It's getting to "Law and Order" on USA territory.
29) "Meeeehhhhhnnn:" Do we need to hear this every damn time there's a scene change in "Two and a Half Men"? The annoying refrain is the reason I don't watch the admittedly popular sitcom. Well, that and the fact that I don't like the rest of the show, either. But this part of it really gets me.
30) "Fox NFL Sunday" pregame show: At some point, it became the "in" thing to turn your football pregame program into a comedy program. Fox isn't the only one guilty of this, but it's the most egregious offender. It's no surprise, either: Fox doesn't have a great track record lately of producing non-animated comedies, and the guys in the NFL studio aren't cartoons--at least not literally.
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2 comments:
Fox's pregame may suck but I love their football robot!
Yeah, he's pretty cool. I wouldn't mind a sitcom with that robot as an orphan who gets taken in by a family of fun-lovin' football coaches.
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