Half-Assed Gourmet: McDonald's Angus Burger

It will come as no surprise to eaters of fast food, or to readers of this blog, for that matter, that hamburgers often look much better in the promotional materials than they taste in your mouth. I knew this, but I was still eager to try one of those new 1/3-pound Angus Burgers at McDonald's.

I finally got my chance two weeks ago--wait, what am I saying? I'm making it sound like I don't have a McD's within 5 minutes of just about everywhere I've worked, shopped, and LIVED in the past several months. I finally got around to eating an Angus Burger a few weeks ago.

My intial reaction was that the third-pounder smelled just like a quarter-pounder. My second reaction was that it tasted a lot like a quarter-pounder, too--maybe a tad juicier from being all jacked up on burger 'roids, but still much like the standard non-Angus QP.

However, there was one significant difference: mushrooms and swiss cheese. OK, that's technically TWO significant differences, but these items go together so well, especially on top of a burger, that I often see them as one. Of course, I also see the Pittsburgh Pirates as playoff contenders every year, so my vision is suspect.

The point is, the shrooms and swiss made a great addition to the McDonald's beef blast. The burger was, considering the hype, a bit ordinary otherwise, but I sure did appreciate this new taste combo. "Why didn't the Golden Arches add these to a burger before?" I thought as I settled in to polish off the rest of the Angus Burger.

That was the first bite.

At some point--maybe it was a bite later, maybe it was a few--my lunch was wrecked as I encountered ANOTHER new addition--this one much less welcome. I'm talking about my old nemesis, my least favorite condiment, mayonnaise.

I can't tell you how many burgers I've eaten, or tried to, that were ruined by this evil sauce. Growing up, I lived within walking distance of a Hardee's, and though that chain had OK chow, it lost major points by putting mayo as a default condiment on many of its hamburgers. I can understand offering it as an extra, but why the hell would anyone make it a standard feature of anything except a mayo sandwich?

Not only is it disgusting, it's one of the most fattening, unhealthiest condiments out there as well. In fact, the only thing mayonnaise is good for is providing fodder for jokes about how square white people are--and even that use lost potency about 10 years ago. I thought we all moved past the days when it would be a default topping on an otherwise promising beef patty, but I was oh, so very wrong.

McDonald's, I'm willing to give you a second chance--after all, the fries and sweet tea were fine--but you have to 86 the mayo next time. That's right, I want to "have it my way" so I don't have to ask "Where's the beef?" while scraping off a heaping glob of my condiment nemesis.