My wife reads "People" so you don't have to: double feature

So it's not that I intend this to be a weekly feature, but I have fallen behind a bit in my mission of extracting the vital nuggets from "People," and I worry that some of you are disoriented without this information. So today I look at two issues--er, my wife looked at two issues, that is.

In the August 17, 2009, issue, "People" lured readers in with a touching cover story about the late Farrah Fawcett's friendship with Alana Stewart...but it won their hearts with an EXCLUSIVE look at "Justin Timberlake's Favorite Things."

For example, Justin loves "a really great Italian wine." He says he's "such a foodie," and "People" indicates this with a picture of that rare, exotic dish: chocolate chip cookies. He loves Cartier's cuff links, and, most illuminating of all, Justin says, "I actually like my own funk smell sometimes."

In the next week's issue, you might think the big story is the interview with Brad Pitt (about Angie! His Kids! His future! His thimble collection!), but I beg to differ. He does irritate right off the bat with this response to the first fan-submitted question, asking if he and Jolie will ever get married: "When everyone who wants to get married can legally do so, we will consider the same." What kind of a BS answer is that? If you support gay marriage, fine, but don't hide behind the issue to avoid saying you don't want to get married.

Nonsense like that explains why the pertinent Q&A in this issue is "5 Questions for...Marlon Wayans." First of all, Marlon Wayans is 37!!??

But here's the essential info from this piece. "People" had the GUTS to ask Wayans the first thing he does in the morning, and here's his reply:

"You know those soap operas where they wake up and they start kissing and making out? I don't do that! I have to brush my teeth, and then we can get busy!"