Monday, January 23, 2017

Half-assed Gormet: Chik-Fil-A's Berry Protein Blast

You  know, I'd write more about Chik-Fil-A except I have one big problem with it: No, it's nothing political. It's  just that I loathe having to type "Chik-Fil-A" and remember how to spell it each time.

The chain has revamped its menu a bit recently, not necessarily for the better. It got rid of my favorite breakfast item and seemingly raised the prices on everything else. The place has tasty chow and outstanding service, but it's not perfect and it's hardly a "value" compared to other fast food joints, which helps me from going there every week despite it opening a location very close to Cultureshark Tower.

I had a gift card, though, and a desire to reward myself after a trip to the auto mechanic (Every time I walk out of there with any money left in my account at all, I consider it cause for celebration), so I hit the place for breakfast last week. I was thwarted in my attempt to order lunch because  it was too early, but I didn't go all Michael Douglas; the cashier informed me in a polite and friendly manner (there's never any other way at Chik-Fil-A) that I could get lunch in about 10-15 minutes. I settled for breakfast despite the appalling continued absence of the thing I used to get.

After breakfast I decided to try their touted Berry Protein Blast item.  Let me tell you, there is no way I would have bought this had I not been using a gift card. It looked good, but it was something like 4 1/2 bucks. 4 1/2 bucks for a beverage??? OK, a smoothie.  This ain't Starbucks. I know the coffee drinkers of the nation have voted to pay outrageous prices for "premium blends" and fancy caffeinated beverages, but I don't recall smoothie fans ever getting any say in making their preferred treats so damn expensive.

I don't even think it's an issue that ingredients are so expensive. Let's see, berries, some kind of dairy (milk/ice cream), a little granola on top? In a modest plastic cup? Hardly worth $4.50. It's not just Chik-Fil-A, either, although the prices are high across the board there. Go anywhere and look at the beverages: soda, tea, etc. is one price, but introduce the concept of "healthy" or even just "bare minimum of nutritional value," and then you're gonna see a much higher price.

I was tempted to get a milkshake because, even though it was all empty calories, it was about half as expensive and probably twice as big. However, I wanted to try the Berry Protein Blast, so I surrendered my $10 gift card again and ordered one...and I wound up having to surrender a penny out of my pocket.  A basic breakfast meal with no add-ons nor upsizing plus a small smoothie should not cost more than a single Alexander Hamilton. I'd like to think Harriet Tubman, were her visage on the $10 bill, would be appalled that she would not be sufficient for that haul.

Bottom line: Was it good. Yeah! It was quite tasty, and I suppose it gave me a PROTEIN BOOST to kickstart my day.  It's just not worth the cost.  I think smoothie lovers of the world should unite and demand lower prices .In the meantime, I think I'm gonna take very good care of my Magic Bullet.

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