EXCLUSIVE Universal Top Ten College Football Poll: Week 2

We got such a wonderful response to last week's inaugural edition of the football poll (i.e., no death threats), we decided to conduct another one. Feel free to print it out and wave it in front of your friends if you get into an argument at the bar.

1) Utah: Still haven't been beaten.
2) Florida: Still defending paper champions.
3) Penn State: Dominant win over Akron does nothing to scare voters. It's really only respect for 1 and 2 that keeps PSU rated so low, but all bets are off if they beat #10 this week.
4) USC: Some think as a PSU fan, I should root for Ohio State because it helps strength of schedule and boosts the Big Ten. Hell with that. Go, USC!
5) Texas: "I've been sent to spread the message: GAAAAWD blessed Texas!" I don't necessarily believe that; I just have the song in my head.
6) Hillman College: Sinbad has these guys thinking big this year.
7) North Carolina: Hey, basketball season is just around the corner!
8) Miami: This is likely a one-week reward for beating Florida State, and, wow, I can't remember the last time I wanted to award Miami for anything.
9) Minnesota: See #10. I couldn't very well put in Syracuse without putting in Minnesota--er, I mean, the voters couldn't very well VOTE Syracuse in without voting in Minnesota.
10) Syracuse: The Orange squeak into the top ten this week after a narrow loss to Minnesota, giving Penn State a chance to beat its second consecutive top ten opponent this weekend.

Also receiving votes: Alabama, Dick Nixon, Adlai Stevenson, Women's Suffrage

Cultureshark Universal College Football Top Ten Poll

It's time for college football season, and that means it's time for polls. That's right, NCAA big-time football is the one major sport that is bold enough to determine its champion not on the field, but where it really counts--in the ballots of a group of allegedly qualified voters.

Our poll is even better than those BCS polls because 1) We include the whole universe, not just the USA, and 2) we don't water our results down by surveying "different people" and getting "a variety of voices."

1) Utah: Or as I like to call them, "The Real World's Champion of College Football." Undefeated, untied, and unloved last season...and also unchallenged by Alabama in the Sugar Bowl.
2) Florida: You have to give the champions respect until they get beat, even if they are paper champions.
3) Penn State: Some of my brethren may think I'm putting the Lions way too low here, but, come on, folks, let's be objective. They DO have some question marks in the secondary, after all.
4) Akron: This is gonna be one DANDY of a game Saturday at noon between # and #4, folks.
5) Huxley College: I hear they've recruited some real up-and-comers this year.
6) South Carolina: Hey, they're 1-0.
7) Boise State: 1-0 PLUS a blue field.
8) Rainbows: No, not the Hawaii Rainbows, just rainbows, period. What, I can't put something in the top ten just because it's pretty?
9) USC: Might as well rank them high. They have as much talent as anybody, and they'll dominate until their token annual letdown game in the Pac-10.
10) Appalachian State: They're still gold for me because of that Michigan win.