Panel Discussion: What the Frug?

Reading Bob Haney's "Teen Titans" makes me feel like the un-roundest cat in the world. I mean, my first reaction on seeing this panel from "Teen Titans" #2 is, Wonder Girl has to do WHAT with her own magic lasso?

But I think this just proves how un-hip I am for not knowing what "frug" means. All the kids used that word back then...didn't they?

By the way, my apologies to Aqualad for cropping him out of the scan. Even on blogs like this, the poor marine-based heroes get no respect.

Panel Discussion: The many powers of Spider-Man

Amazing Spider-Man #14 is a significant issue in the annals of comic book history, not just because it introduces the Green Goblin, but because it introduces a remarkable new super power, one so smartly conceived and so dazzling, I can't believe it's not used more often to this day:


This power has not been used properly since then--well, except once by Judy Landers on an episode of "Madame's Place."

Panel Discussion: Oh, you silly girl!

One of Superman's lesser publlicized (but not lesser used) powers in the Silver Age was his potent super sexism, as seen in this moment from "Justice League of America" #18:


Yeah, Wonder Woman! Jeez!

Panel Discussion: Barry Allen, World's Lamest Date

Believe it or not, to me, the funniest scene in Flash #111's "Invasion of the Cloud Creatures" (reprinted in Showcase Presents: The Flash Volume 1) does not depict the titular villains, even though...well, see for yourself:

Yes, Flash's epic struggle against these fearsome menaces makes for an entertaining and amusing yarn. But let's go back to the beginning of the story, when we get another fine example of Barry Allen, Silver Age Playa:

Next time you're on a date with your lady friend, fellas, why not try this ol' bait-and-switch? Let her get all gussied-up, don your own best formal duds, but then, at the last possible instant, surprise her by taking her to an academic lecture, instead! You can always tell her, "You'll like this better--believe me!" After all, you know best, right?

Just look at how thrilled Iris is:


Isn't this better than some stupid old night of dancing you promised her for 3 months? Of course it is! You'll see!

Panel Discussion: Super careless?

It's a minor point in this panel from World's Finest #79, perhaps (reprinted in Showcase Presents: WF#1), especially compared to the awkward (redrawn?) Dick Sprang-drawn head on Supes, but couldn't the guy be a little less cavalier about discarding his civilian duds?

Unless he's using a super power of which I'm not aware to throw the clothes so that they'll land in a neat, undetectable, compressed pile--and I wouldn't be surprised to see this explained in a 1950s Superman story--it looks like Clark Kent's wardrobe is going to land on an unsuspecting passer-by somewhere on the streets of Metropolis.

This not only exposes Superman's secret identity, it exposes him to a lawsuit. Plus this story, "The Three Magicians of Baghdad," features the big guy traveling back in time a thousand years. Yet he can't spare a few seconds to fold and stash his clothes?

Panel Discussion: Oops, honey, I just remembered, I left a vatful of bubbling chemicals back at the office

There is no "context" to this part of "When There Was NO Clark Kent!" in Superman #127 (as reprinted in Showcase Presents Superman Volume 1) that makes this plausible.

The standards at the Famous Bottle Works company in Metropolis make the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory look safe. When the factory shuts down at the end of the day and workers scramble to hit the road, they might forget their leftovers from lunch. They could neglect to fill out their timecards. Heck, I'm sure many of them leave their computers running.

But who in the HECK would leave a "vatful of chemicals" just "bubbling away" like that?

It will not surprise you to learn that in the next panel, the factory explodes. Yes, despite the discretion an intrepid employee in placing a "DANGER" sign next to the giant cup o' explosives, the darn thing blew up, anyway.

Luckily for Famous Bottle Works, Superman spends the rest of this story dealing with the "loss" of his secret identity in the explosion, and he never finds the time to investigate what could be a major corprorate insurance scam.

Panel Discussion: You meddling Titans

From Teen Titans #1, via Showcase Presents:


Classic. He would have gotten away with this, too, if not for those meddling kids.

Let me point out that writer Bob Haney delivered this startling denouement in an issue cover-dated 1966, a full 3 years before CBS aired the first episode of "Scooby-Doo."

Panel Discussion: Get with it, Batman!

Batman is a great defender of Gotham and everything, but when it comes to music, that cat--er, bat--just doesn't get it, man? Check out this moment from 1965's Showcase #59 (as reprinted in the Showcase Presents: Teen Titans Volume 1 book). Dig?


He may be the Caped Crusader, but he's still hopelessly un-round.

Panel Discussion: Superman hates Snapper Carr

Another panel from the classic Justice League of America #15, this one near the end. As Snapper irritates the gang with his faux hipster chat, all the heroes indulge him and not only refrain from using their collective powers and wisdom to hurl him into the sun...they smile!

Well, all the heroes except one. Look at Superman's mug as Snapper bugs the JLA:

Is it possible someone redrew a Superman face over Mike Sekowsky's original pencils? I don't know. Is it possible the big guy just had a bad Kryptonian Llama Burrito and is feeling the aftereffects? Maybe. But I think the best explanation for Supes' sourpuss is the simplest: He HATES Snapper Carr.

Wonder Woman is clearly annoyed, but Superman is glowering. You just know he's wondering who would miss the boy if he "accidentally" got hurled into the Phantom Zone.

In the next panel, Kal-El looks no more amused by the teenager's idiotic babble:


Even Batman, who must long for Dick Grayson's terrible puns when he hears Snapper's dialect, musters a fake smile. But the Man of Steel just sits there imagining if the Atom would be able to track down Carr if he "somehow" got shrunk and tossed into the bottled city of Kandor.

Panel Discussion: Batman and Flash, our not-so-intrepid heroes

In Justice League of America #15, the gang must stop a bunch of untouchable aliens (literally untouchable; it's not that they wear fedoras and brandish machine guns) from destroying Earth cities. A lot of bizarre science gets us to the point where Batman and Flash watch as Green Lantern apparently attempts to move an alien city in a misguided effort to rectify the situation:


Uh, how many times have you heard The Flash say "it's too late"?

Still, there has to be a way, though, to stop GL, right? These are the world's greatest superheroes, and they never give up!

Yeah, not so much in this case:



Yes, the world's fastest man and the world's greatest detective--a man who has a contingency plan for every situation and a utility belt full of useful doohickeys--don't have time to stop Green Lantern, but they DO have time to share awkward, formal farewells.

Panel Discussion: Good Morning, Spidey

I love this combination of panels in "Amazing Spider-Man" #12. First we get the great image of Giant Dream Spidey lecturing himself.

As for the next panel, all I'll say is that Peter Parker is becoming a young man, and he will soon learn that it is not unusual to wake up in the morning with a "zingarooo."

Panel Discussion: The Man of Nonchalance

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but these back-to-back panels in Superman #147's "The Legion of Super-Villains" seem odd.


Unless this story is leaving out a whole lot of material in between panels, Superman is so unconcerned that a mysterious scoundrel bullied him away by threatening to electrocute a whole bus full of innocent people that he not only is not looking for the villain, but he's hanging out at the fair pitching toy planes to the crowd!

"Oh, well, I'm sure that guy learned his lesson yesterday when I, uh, flew away and let him go about his business. Surely he'll never do anything like that again, and I can go ahead and fulfill my important duties for the Metropolitan Chamber of Commerce!"

I'll bet BATMAN would have stayed up all night trying to track down that dude, and if the Gotham Fairgoers went without toy planes the next day, that would just be too bad.

Panel Discussion: One of the lamest captures of a supervillain ever

I am not saying this is THE lamest apprehension ever of a supervillain, but it has to be in the running. Having stymied the Justice League of America for the first 22 pages of JLA #12, Dr. Light is caught like this:


OK, I'm cheating a little bit because....SPOILER ALERT...

This ain't the real Dr. Light! Still, it's a bit anticlimactic, is it not? Furthermore, the real apprehension of Dr. Light is nearly as lame, happening off panel, followed by Green Lantern telling the story to his fellow Leaguers.

Still, you gotta love that sophisticated capture technique by Superman and Wonder Woman. Not only is it effective for grabbing the most notorious baddies, it's an excellent way to help old ladies cross the street.

Panel Discussion: World's Finest #73

I don't know if I can say enough how much I love "World's Finest," but regular readers are sure gonna find out as I make my way through the first Showcase Presents collection of the classic Superman/Batman team-up book. I like the panel above because as a longtime newspaper reader, I feel a warm nostalgia. Remember the days when the industry was so healthy that "The Daily Planet" could afford to send two of its top reporters to another city to dig for stories at a carnival?

Later, Robin is captured by thugs who contact Batman and tell him he can save the Boy Wonder if he brings a scimitar they want. Batman meekly says he'll have to trust them and asks for the address. So, armed with the scimitar, the location of their hideout, and of course all his resounding Batness, what is the Caped Crusader's plan to save his old chum?

That's right--he KNOCKS ON THE DOOR!

"Um, hello? Criminal gang? It's me, Batman! Come on, guys, it's cold out here!"

I hope Chris Nolan introduces Robin in his next Batman film so that Christian Bale can recreate this scene.

Panel Discussion: World's Finest

One of the funnies things about the Silver Age version of "World's Finest"--and oh, there are many--is that it seems like Superman and Batman spend more time trying to fool Lois Lane than they do chasing villains. Take a look at these consecutive panels from issue #71, as reprinted in "Showcase Presents World's Finest" Volume 1. Batman, trying to convince Lois he's Superman to protect the Man of Steel's secret identity, is effortlessly hauling around big furniture and a moving van while helping her move. OR IS HE?



...And that we snuck into Lois' bedroom last night and performed surgery on her optic nerve to alter her eyesight. And that we built a time machine and went back 5 years to when she got some of her the stuff and replaced it in the stores with lighter copies. And that we...

I think these panels are even funnier the less context you give the, but I think you get the idea of what's going on here. At some point, no matter how many complications it causes, no matter how difficult it will make life for those involved, it's gotta be easier just to go ahead and tell Lois, "Yeah, Clark Kent is Superman. You got it."

(Not to mention the fact that if Lois is so blind she can't discern a fake van from a real one or papier-mache copies of her personal belongings from the real deal, well, they probably could have found a much simpler way to deceive her.)

Panel Discussion: The World's Fastest Klutz

I think Barry Allen is a fine police scientist and an even finer superhero, but, boy, does he ever look like a tool each time he's trying to get together with Iris:


In these old "Flash" comics (this is from #109), Barry closes almost every single story with some kind of wacky mix-up or misunderstanding that leads to Iris thinking he's a tool. And really, who can blame her? She just has her reasons wrong.

See, we readers know that Barry's not a tool for being the slowest man alive, as she thinks. He's a tool because after beating the Mirror Master, he stumbles on one of the mirrors he left behind and is knocked cold for 30 minutes.

Panel Discussion: Flash's Apartment

I love this panel from Flash #107 (1959).

The concept of Flash maintaining a swinging bachelor pad as the Flash is just too cool. It's not just an efficiency apartment with spartan decoration, either, judging from this shot. My man Flash actually has tricked out the place somewhat! This is clearly a great place the Scarlet Speedster can use to, uh, "meet with people" and not let on he's Barry Allen.

I like to imagine that somewhere in the place is an end table or a counter that has all sorts of junk mail piled up. Do you think Flash has a bunch of Publishers Clearing House envelopes lying around?

Does he pay cash each month for the joint, or does he drop a check off in the rent box? Maybe there's a crusty landlord that exchanges a gruff "Humph," each time he sees Flash in the halls. I hope Flash tries to at least be social. Does he bring a covered dish to the monthly tenants' barbecue? Does he participate in the apartment's renters' association?

All in all, I have to think he'd be a great neighbor to have over for pizza and a cold one on a football Sunday...as long as he didn't continually avoid returning the favor with the old "Got to go fight crime" routine.

Panel Discussion: Superboy Explains It All

This is early in the story in Adventure Comics #267 (as reprinted in Showcase Presents: Legion volume 1), and Superboy is gracious enough to give us a rundown of who this outlandishly-clad flying fella is.

Well, it had been 20 issues, so I don't blame him. But what gets me is that he describes it as "a stirring adventure" in his own interior monologue. That whole first encounter left a strong impression, indeed, on young Clark. I'm surprised he doesn't refer to that "rousing yarn" he took part in when he meets Lightning Lad soon after.

I also like how he puts "The Legion of Super-Heroes" in quotation marks. Comic books used to go all kinds of crazy with quotes, commas, and all kinds of punctuation, but in this case it almost looks like Superboy thinks it's a BS name. "Ah, it's Cosmic Boy from the so-called Legion."

Or maybe he believes the Legion is a fictional creation. Hey, you don't suppose he KNOWS that we read that stirring adventure in issue #247, do you?

Panel Discussion: Wiseguy Hulk

I love that in the earliest Hulk comic books, the green-skinned guy talks like a tough guy from an old gangster picture, or Stan Lee's idea of a tough guy from an old gangster picture.

Shut your yap, Rick Jones!

Those old Hulk comics feature the big lug constantly cracking wise and calling his teenage sidekick "dumbhead" and other vicious insults. If only Lou Ferrigno had done that on the show...

Panel Discussion

Remember all those times Clark Kent fabricated a flimsy excuse so he could ditch Lois Lane and go be Superman? Well, he wasted a lot of effort. He could have just used the Barry Allen method. Need to make a hasty retreat?


Why bother straining for a lame explanation? Just take off!

(from Showcase Presents: The Flash volume 1)