Disjointed thoughts about this weekend's new movies

Valentine's Day:

*I'm suspicious of movies built around a single holiday...unless it's Christmas, in which case I'm suspicious if it stars Tim Allen.

*I'm also suspicious of movies that apparently feature every star in Hollywood. This suspicion grows ever stronger when I don't hear much about such films until the week or two before they open.

*"Valentine's Day," therefore, is not on my must-see list, and I'm kind of hoping it fades away before my wife and I have our next dinner-and-a-movie date night. I don't know that she wants to see this, but you can't be too careful.

*Garry Marshall directing feature films: not so good. Garry Marshall giving amiable commentary tracks on "Odd Couple" episodes: very good (I really wish Paramount had enlisted his services for seasons 2-5).

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief:

*Is this really supposed to be a Winter Olympics tie-in? Then how come it's not on NBC?

*Some observers think this movie will make mythology like, all cool and stuff for kids. Or maybe the books have already done that. I don't know, but I'd rather see something that seems halfway fresh than that "Clash of the Titans" remake in the works.

*I realize "Harry Potter" wasn't necessarily the most dashing movie icon name before the movies proved to be smashes, but it's hard for me to envision a franchise built around a Percy.

The Wolfman:

*This one's been delayed so many times, I still don't believe it's actually in theaters. And I saw it on a marquee today, too.

*If nothing else, it gives Universal an excuse to release yet another DVD edition of the Lon Chaney version.

*Sir Anthony Hopkins has kept kind of a low profile lately, hasn't he?

Disjointed thoughts about this weekend's new movies

When in Rome:

*I'm not part of the Veronica Mars cult that has to pretend this is anything but crap, so I'm not gonna make the effort.

*Kristen Bell is a pleasant enough actress, but I don't see her as a movie star. But if this goofy romantic comedy works out, well, good for her.

*I must confess I'm predisposed to loathe this movie. Mrs. Shark and I were catching up with "Desperate Housewives" on demand last week, and the ABC shows on the FIOS system do not allow fast-forwarding. So during each and every ad break, we endured the same promo for "When in Rome." Granted, it was more appealing than that "Wild Dogs" preview we suffered through a few months back, but it was enough to make us fed up with the film before it even hit theaters.

Edge of Darkness:

*I believe this is based on a British TV miniseries. Anyone want to bet that the movie is better? Nobody wants to take that bet? Yeah, me, neither.

*Mel Gibson is BACK for the first time in 7 years. But who really missed him? H's still been around as a personality. I do think he's too big a star to not act for 7 years, but I can't say I've been pining for his on-screen return.

St. John's in Vegas:

*Speaking of guys who haven't been around, where the heck has Steve Buscemi been? I know he's done some TV, but still.

*It seems odd that a guy goes from being in every other movie in the nineties to hardly any movies in the oughts.

*I really don't know anything about this other than that it stars Buscemi, but isn't that enough?

44-Inch Chest:

*It's a British gangster movie. I imagine the title is supposed to be cheeky. Or bosomy. Well, you know what I mean.

*Another under-the-radar release, but look at the cast: Tom Wilkinson, Ray Winstone, John Hurt, Ian McShane. How can this not be worth a look?

Disjointed thoughts about this weekend's new movies

The Book of Eli

*Wait a minute, the Hughes Brothers did this? The Hughes Brothers are back? That's good news. The movie looks kind of generic, but discovering this makes me reconsider it.

*Denzel Washington (55) is a good 4-5 years older than I thought he was. Not that it really matters, but I lost face in a little debate over it over the holidays. Ah, well. Hey, he can still bring it, right?

*There are more post-apocalyptic movies nowadays than good old-fashioned apocalyptic movies. Not to mention "good" movies.

The Lovely Bones

*I hear that this is quite different than the book, but it's not like Peter Jackson isn't familiar with people bitching about his adaptations.

*Can I get a cheap shot at the LOTR trilogy in here? Sure, I can, it's my blog. I enjoyed the spectacle of the first movie but became increasingly irritated/bored by the films as the series progressed. I'm not a fan of Jackson's "King Kong," either. So that name isn't getting me to the theaters.

*Nothing against the guy, but somehow I have no problem picturing Stanley Tucci as a child murderer.

The Spy Next Door

*Sure, this looks lame, but if it makes a lot of dough, I say we look other way. Jackie Chan deserves an easy paycheck or 3 at this point in his career.

*Better something under the radar like this than another "Shanghai Knights" or "Rush Hour" sequel, right?