Toys R Us closing inspires some false narratives

You know the "retail apocalypse" is bad when the nation can't support a toy store chain. Toys R Us is closing all of its stores. All of them. This is a sad day for America.

I am not just sad, though, but angry reading all the false narratives out there. Here are a few I keep seeing and why I ain't buying them:

FALSE NARRATIVE: The Internet killed Toys R Us
How about it was just managed poorly? The stores often looked kind of dumpy, but they did business. We can't blame everything on the Internet. Maybe some of the debt restructuring plans killed it.

If people buy all their toys on Amazon, they are not doing their homework. Many if not most toys on Amazon are priced over regular retail price and are subject to wild fluctuations and quick shortages. Toys R Us is never a great bargain paradise, but even MSRP is better than paying inflated third-party vendor prices online, not to mention outrageous shipping costs.

FALSE NARRATIVE: Kids don't play with toys anymore. They play with tablets, video games, etc.
Ridiculous. Maybe out in public. You don't see a kid take a GI Joe playset down to the park or with him on a trip to the store, but at home, kids love playing with toys if you let them.

FALSE NARRATIVE:  Toys R Us sells only junk like movie and cartoon tie-ins and nothing that appealed to kids' imaginations.
Another goofy talking point. Every store I visit features an aisle each devoted to the following brands: Imaginarium, Melissa and Doug, Crayola...  You see stuff with Animal Planet and Discovery Channel branding, plus classics like Crayola and specific old-school favorites like Lincoln Logs.

As my astute sister points out, stores that are devoted to "imagination" toys have one thing in common: they have outrageous prices. Parents who can afford to overpay on adult things can afford to overpay for "smart" toys, but the rest of the population would like a place to get stuff at reasonable prices.

Let's hope the major general merchandise joints step up their game. Wal-Mart is great on price, Target less so. Both shrink their selections after Christmas shopping season. I just refuse to believe that this country is done buying toys in stores. This isn't like DVDs or books or all these other things that are going online. Kids like to see stuff, and parents like to see what they are buying their kids.  Maybe we need a return of this place:

Emails that don't really help me at all

We all get on a bunch of mailing lists--at least those of us too lazy to uncheck those boxes do--and some of what we get is useful, but some of it...not so much.

Last week I got a message from a certain major toy retailer titled "10 Ways to Make Your Spring Awesome." Surprise, surprise, all 10 involve buying really expensive things.

Awesome can be achieved by obtaining "Outdoor Essentials" such as swing sets, play houses, trampolines, bouncers, and pools. I don't doubt that those items do in fact contribute to the overall levels of awesome in one's spring, and I concede there are one or two items that don't require a co-signer (The link to "outdoor activities" shows some relatively basic sporting equipment), but I don't know how much awesome I can afford right now.

Can't blowing bubbles be awesome? How about bouncing a superball? Isn't jumping rope an awesome way to have a little springtime fun?

Later, a certain airline sent me one of its periodic "Hey, thanks for being in our club, but why don't you actually go fly somewhere?" emails. The title: "50% off your Bahamas vacay!"

Look, I haven't expressed any kind of interest in going to the Bahamas...until right now. That sounds pretty good! But I don't think I can drop everything and head to the Bahamas. At least, I can't book it for one of two windows by March 17.

And even if I could, I certainly wouldn't go there on a vacay.

Thanks for nothing, Wal-Mart

That's right, last week I spoke to Hulu, and now this week it's time to address Wal-Mart. Cultureshark: Taking on the world ONE CORPORATION AT A TIME, MAN!

I heard about a DVD bargain at Wally World and went to their site to check it out. I wasn't tempted to buy it because it was already sold out. No harm, no foul. I went back to my daily Internet regimen of studying lyrics to old Toto songs.

A few days later, I got an email from Wal-Mart touting that same item. Hmm, I thought, it's back in stock. Well, yeah, it was, and I suppose that was helpful info...except that the price was...

[STOPS TO DO MATH]

The price was about 250% higher than the bargain price, a sale price which was the only thing that made me look at the item in the first place.

No thanks, Wal-Mart. No thanks.

The worst thing about making a return

I am proud to say I was not dumb enough to go shopping at Wal-Mart on Black Friday weekend.

I am less proud to admit I was dumb enough to return something. It wasn't even something glamorous like a vacuum cleaner or a ladder; I wanted a refund for two food items I had bought there earlier in the week. The items were...not good when I tried to use them.

(Oh, I'd tell you what those items were, but I think we can all agree that Wal-Mart is highly attentive to the ramifications of one person bringing back $4 worth of merchandise and therefore must have instantly launched a thorough investigation of similar items and removed any problematic examples from its shelves. Right?)

On my way back home on Sunday evening, I figured, hey, I'll return them now. The hubbub is surely over by now, even though the parking lot is still busy. This was not one of my better impulse decisions. It was barely better than the impulse that drove me to buy the things that I had to return. The experience shook me to the core.

The worst part wasn't waiting 20 minutes in line to get a $4 refund.

The worst part wasn't standing behind a flustered woman who kept making theatrical sighs because of the wait (That was actually kind of cool).

The worst part wasn't seeing people lug in 50" televisions to the returns area and wondering if they were pulling scams of some type or other (That was a fun way to pass the time).

Here's the worst part: There were two small electronic signs posted high behind the customers, in clear view of employees on the other side of the desk but only visible to us if we happened to turn around and look up. The two signs were flashing the following message in blue letters:

RESTROOMS NEED CLEANING

The worst part about making a return at Wal-Mart at the end of Black Friday weekend was that those signs were flashing from the time I first noticed them until I got my refund and walked out...and who knows how much longer?

Can you imagine the state of an unattended Wal-Mart restroom after several days of hardcore holiday shopping? [SHUDDER]

On the radio: Rockin' in the grocery store

I have often said that one of the best and most underappreciated places to hear classic rock music these days is at the local grocery store. I wish I could cite a specific place or time I said that. I have, though; just trust me on that one.

Last month I was at Wegmans (no apostrophe, please) near closing time, and as I searched for some kind of dessert, I enjoyed the in-house sound system blaring Tom Petty's "A Higher Place" from his underrated 1994 "Wildflowers" album. This is a really good song, one you'll never hear on the radio anymore, one you may not have heard as much as you should have in 1994, but one you can hear while looking for a giant birthday cookie in a supermarket an hour before the joint shuts down.

There was an extra spring in my step as I bounded through the bakery, and though it vanished when I couldn't find a giant birthday cookie, I still enjoyed the tune. I wasn't the only one; some dude cleaning up his station was whistling along and grooving. It used to be you could count on a steady does of Chuck Mangione to go along with your groceries, but now you can expect actual rock music in this kind of shopping outlet.

Wait, does this mean classic rock is old and, worse, that...I'M old?

NAHHHH.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that if you are frustrated by the lack of radio options on your dial, stop by your local supermarket. You might hear something you won't hear many other places. You might even find a giant birthday cookie. Just don't count on that one.

We have "Clearance," Clarence...or maybe not

I got an email from a certain online retailer touting 350 new clearance DVDs. The first row in the actual email featured Star Wars  2-DVD Limited Edition WS for 49.98.

49.98? Maybe I'm just a cheapskate, but in my humble opinion no DVD that costs 50 bucks should ever be called a "clearance" DVD...unless it retails for about 350. Does this particular edition carry a high MSRP? Is it out of print? Does it come packaged with gold bars?

I don't know the answer, but I know that while virtually every other title in the email has a little red line underneath the price telling us what % off retail the clearance number is, the Star Wars item does not. Maybe this email should be titled, "349 clearance DVDs and one we're kind of hoping to dump at a high price."

True Confessions: Ride like the wind

Does anyone else, upon hearing Christopher Cross' "Ride Like the Wind" over the central sound system at the grocery store, immediately visualize themselves as a figure in some kind of thrilling chase sequence?

It's just me? No, it isn't! You lie. You LIE!

Yesterday wasn't the first time I've heard this particular song in a supermarket; nor will it be the last. Christopher Cross' brand of energetic Velveeta sailing "rock" will always be a perfect fit for store radio programmers looking to soothe yet kind of stimulate their customers.

The song triggers something in me that is more stirring than soothing, though. I pretend I'm a fugitive from international law (or something--what the hell kind of trouble DID Chris Cross get into that made him have to ride like the wind, anyway?) even as I gather my groceries. After all, I've got such a long way to go to make it to the border of Mexico that you can bet I'm gonna need provisions.

Milk: Check!
Bread: Check!
Sudafeds: Check. Hey, us fugitives have to fight colds as well as multi-agency manhunts, you know.
Rice: All right, this isn't as practical, but it was on sale.
Glazed doughnut with chocolate icing: Well, I'm entitled to a treat, aren't I? Besides, all that riding like the wind will burn off the empty calories.

I'd like to write that I had just time to assemble these items before making a furtive glance or two around me then darting out the store, but the truth is much less glamorous. I actually gave a polite nod to a lady who was ambling through the bakery section with her cart (though I DID entertain a suspicion that she was an undercover agent), went to the self-checkout, and paid for everything--with my own credit card, no less, a sequence which probably violated about 10 different rules of Cool Fleeing.

And anyway, the song was over well before then because I lingered in the magazine section to look at football previews.

Christopher Cross would be ashamed of me, perhaps, but the bottom line is I did make it out of the store and wasn't followed back to my house. I still have a long way to go (such a long way to go), but maybe I'll make it soon. And maybe Michael McDonald will be more forgiving.

Best Buy makes it hard to give them money

I went to Best Buy to purchase a memory card a few weeks ago. Now, I could have bought the memory card lots of different places, but only Best Buy had "The '59 Sound," the latest CD from The Gaslight Anthem, for 8 bucks. So Best Buy would get all my business that day.

Or would they? One of the things that drives me crazy about Best Buy is how poorly labeled their deals and specials are. I discovered the $7.99 price online as part of some "New and special artists who you should listen to because people might see the CD on your table and think you're hip, although of course these days they'll just think you're out of it for still buying CDs" promotion. I hoped there might be some display with all those discs grouped together for my convenience. There was not.

Oh, I should mention that before hunting for that mythical display, I went to the most logical place to find a Gaslight Anthem album--the section labeled "Gaslight Anthem." There was a plastic divider with the band's name on it, but no product. I even checked a few rows nearby in case it was misshelved. No luck.

It was only then I began searching for a display or endcap or sale section. See, the online site had told me there were two available in store, and if there's one thing I have learned as a consumer in this Digital Age of ours, it's that the Internet NEVER LIES.

I went to a computer that offered access to their in-store inventory. Sure enough, two copies existed in that very store, unless this was some rogue machine toying with me. Don't think I didn't ponder that one a bit.

Eventually, I gave up and summoned an employee. I have had mixed results with Best Buy associates in the past, but this guy, I will admit, did a heck of a job. He was friendly and professional. First thing he did was head to the "Gaslight Anthem" section, but I wasn't offended even though I had told him I looked there already. Hey, if I worked there, that would be my first move, too.

Then he looked around a bit in the CD section. Again, familiar territory, but, hey, the guy's working for me. Indulge him. For all he knows, I'm "that idiot customer" he'll be talking about on his smoke break.

Finally, he went to the computer and verified that, sure enough, two copies existed in that very store.

Sounds familiar, eh?

Only, he had a path not available to me. "Hold on," he said, "I'll look in the back."
The back? They keep CDs in the back? What are they doing back there where I can't see them?

After about 5 minutes, he did indeed come out from "the back," holding a Gaslight Anthem CD, presumably one of the two in stock (I noticed he didn't bother bringing out the other and putting IT on the shelf). Then, of course, I told him I changed my mind and set it on the shelf beside him.

Just kidding! Of course I got it and the memory card and a few other things besides, but the only reason I got anything was because of this good deal on the one album. If I hadn't found it there, I would have walked out empty-handed and bought the memory card somewhere else instead of getting 50 bucks' worth of merchandise right there.

What was this CD even doing in the back? Do they keep a whole bunch of items there in some grand warehouse, kind of like the "Beyond" manned by Christopher Walken in that sappy Adam Sandler movie from a couple years ago? Do they ever restock their shelves?

I know Best Buy doesn't really care about pushing small potatoes like CDs and DVDs anymore, but if I don't find what I'm looking for, I can go somewhere else. It was only because I was so motivated that day--and cheap--that I made as much effort as I did rather than taking a hikeski and spending my $50 someplace else.

Deep Discount, I kind of forgive you

Sure, deep discount.com irritated the blazes out of me a few months back with their bait and snatch of canceling my Rocky and Bullwinkle Season 3 order (for 5 bucks! only 5 bucks!) without notice. But you know my motto: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me--duh, what was I talking about?"

I generally have good experiences with the company, and their prices are too low for me to hold a grudge. Their semi-annual 25% off sale is underway, and last week I jumped in early for 38 bucks to buy the complete "M Squad," a show so good that...well, a show so good I would have been really, really irritated had Deep Discount crapped out on me again.

Not so. In fact, my friend Mike and I have a running joke based on the notoriously slooooow shipping you get from Deep Discount. Hey, I know, it's free, but it's funny how Amazon gets stuff in a few days, while I often see the seasons change while waiting for product from DD.

I made a typical snide remark on Friday when I read my e-mail notification that my DVDs shipped Friday. Hey, I'd hopefully have something to watch for Thanksgiving! Ha ha ha.

But, folks, the M Squad arrived today with all the swiftness of a Lee Marvin right cross. Therefore, I am retiring my Deep Discount jokes for a while, and I kind of forgive the site for the "Rocky and Bullwinkle" incident. And, yes, if they put that one back on sale for 5 bones, I'll bite again...and I won't even mind if I have to wait till Thanksgiving.

Half-Assed Gourmet: Brat-loving bastard...

I don't want to sound like an antisocial jerk here, but when I go to the grocery store, I generally prefer to get in, get out, and go home and put the groceries away. There are a few familiar checkout clerks I like, folks I'll exchange a friendly greeting with, maybe a word or two. But I don't often look forward to a big exchange of chitchat in a grocery line, especially one in which I've stood for way too long because the local Giant has all those damn self-checkout lanes and got rid of so many cashiers.

Ahem.

The point is, a week or two ago, I went to Giant to get a few prescriptions filled for my family, and while I was there I grabbed a few groceries. I like Johnsonville Brats. I'll stick 'em on the Foreman grill and make a nice, easy lunch for me or sometimes for both me and my wife. When they're on sale, I get a pack or two.

That's pretty much all there is to it.

On this particular day, a guy I hadn't seen before was checking me out, and when I finally got up there, the brats were among the first items he scanned. I'm staring at the electronic card reader, waiting to execute the financial transcation, when I hear, "How do you cook your brats?"

I was taken aback because, really, any speaking after, "Do you have a Bonuscard?" and "Your total is..." comes as a shock if I'm not familiar with the clerk. This guy's inquiring mind wanted to know my cooking secrets, though. Did he recognize me as the Half-Assed Gourmet?

"I usually just cook them on the Foreman Grill," I said with a sligth chuckle. See, I was already anticipating that my answer was going to disappoint him, and I wanted to use a tone that discouraged any further inquiry. After all, it was the middle of December, I had a sick wife and daughter at home, and I wasn't in the mood for a seminar. I suppose in the back of my mind I expected some kind of remark. But I didn't expect the guy behind the counter to say this:

"What a waste."

He actually said, "What a waste," and not with a jovial lilt, either. He was looking down, there was an edge in his voice, and I could swear he shook his head, though I didn't look at him fast enough to eb sure.

What a waste! Excuse me for not cranking up the gas grill two weeks before Christmas, buddy. Now how's about ringing up my soup and letting me go home to my pathetic Foreman grill and my woefully wasted weiners?

I think he realized he came on a bit strong, as after an awkward pause of a few seconds (I think I chuckled weakly to acknowledge I had received his lament), he told me I should try brining. He followed with a Brining for Dummies primer while I kept an eye on the electronic reader, desperately awaiting the cue to slide my credit card and begin the end of what I had assumed would be a simple grocery purchase.

I was ticked by this Checkout Chef's reprimand, but now that I think about it, I shouldn't have let him bother me. The Half-Assed Gourmet need not apologize for anything. So I like cooking Johnsonville Brats on the Foreman grill. I don't think they're better that way, and I never said as much. That's just how I usually make them.

Does that make me a bad cook? Well, maybe, but it doesn't make me a bad person.

I really need to get my groceries at Wegman's more often.

Gift GETTING Guide--selections from my wish list

You may be saying to yourself, "Well, Mr. Shark, I loved those gift-giving ideas you shared the other day, but what about you. What do YOU want for Christmas?"

I'm glad you asked, and I'm glad to share some ideas. These aren't necessarily the only gifts I'd like or the ones I want most, but they're a representative sample of some of the junk I ask for.

Now, let me get this out of this way first: Yes, I know the economy is hurting and we're all panicking, and I don't mean to promote selfishness and greed. But if we stop buying things for each other, even things that aren't necessities, the spiral only continues. And these aren't things I expect to get, just things it would be nice to have. I already have a loving family and my health (except for this nagging cold), and I'm happy even without this frivolous stuff.

But, boy, would I love to get...

Movies on DVD: I mentioned the Touch of Evil package the other day, but I also have my eye on the new L.A. Confidential Special Edition. I enjoy the VCI noir/crime B-movie collections, and I think by now there must be about 5 or 6 I don't have.
Is it just me or did Warners not deliver a noir box set this year? Well, they did give us a Gangsters Collection, Volume 3, to be exact, and, oh, how I'd love that, though I can wait till its inevitable big price drop. Plus their Warner Brothers and the Homefront Collection is an eventual must for my OWN collection.
I'm also behind on my Sony chronological 3 Stooges discs, my Popeye collections, and my Looney Tunes sets.

TV on DVD: I'm a big fan of the Abbott and Costello Show, and there are two big volumes' worth of DVDs collecting the entire series. I mentioned the Mr. Peepers Season 2 box the other day. The Father Knows Best Season 2 set intrigues me. If money were no object, I'd love to finally get that Twilight Zone Definitive Collection.


Books: Somehow I have yet to purchase the latest Chris Elliott comic novel, Into Hot Air. There's a well-received new biography of legendary pro wrestling innovator Gorgeous George and an acclaimed autobio by Bret "the Hitman" Hart.

I love just about all of the ongoing hardcover reprint series bringing back vintage comic strips. I am collecting Peanuts, Dick Tracy, Steve Canyon, and Popeye...and I'd love to start on the Beetle Bailey, Little Orphan Annie, and Terry & the Pirates editions. And those Showcase and Essential editions reprinting vintage DC and Marvel, respectively, are always welcome on my bookshelves.
And there's always a ton of baseball, history, and movie books I want. I just need time to read them all...

Music: I'm not that hip when it comes to new music, but there are plenty of discs I need from artists I like, such as Kings of Leon, Ryan Adams, Butch Walker, and Ben Folds. And I just discovered this cool-looking Easybeats greatest hits disc.

Do I NEED all this, or even any of this? Nah. But any of it will make me happy. Oh, and as I alluded to when listing some books, "time enough at last" to enjoy the stuff I DO have would be a great gift, too.

I hope each of you get something cool under your tree this year! Have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone.

Cultureshark Holiday Gift Guide

Here are some last-last-minute suggestions I have for your gift-giving pleasure this year.

For a music lover: Gift card to a a local record shop, preferably one with a big Used selection (if such a thing exists in your area). -Let me tell you something I now realize about gift cards. When you give someone one of these, assuming it's something you're reasonably sure the recipient can use, it's not a cop out or a thoughtless gesture. Quite the contrary, it's almost a double gift. You're not just giving money, you're giving time. In other words, your gift card, especially if to a brick-and-mortar store of some kind, is an excuse for someone to take the time to get out of the house, put aside other worries, and spend time looking for cool stuff. To me, that's a very thoughtful present.

For movie lover: Gift card to local indie/arthouse theater (if one is nearby): This is another dual-purpose kind of gift for the film snob in your life. She gets to support the local establishment, plus right now is when the so-called prestige or smart pictures are allegedly arriving, so the holiday timing is perfect.

For classic movie lover: "Touch of Evil" Anniversary Edition DVD. I don't have this one yet, but judging by the reviews for the disc, as well as the movie itself, I'm confident in calling this a worthy package. You get a fascinating film along with a plethora of extras detailing its production, and the complex history of "Touch of Evil" makes its history particularly intriguing. I'd have to think a serious film fan could at least get something out of this set. One of the attractive things about it as a gift is the relatively low MSRP compared to, say, a Criterion DVD.

For a comic book lover: Subscription to "Comics Buyers Guide" or "Back Issue" magazines. The monthly "CBG" is geared towards older collectors, with extensive coverage of Silver Age and Golden Age material and a general focus on history more than trendy current books (though the front of the mag covers that sort of thing). There is a lot of fun in each issue, and seeing it in my mailbox gives me the thrill I used to get by picking up new comics s.

"Back Issue" is another fun magazine, and it's a must-read for anyone who grew up on comic books of the seventies and/or eighties. It comes every two months and is a bit pricey, but its combination of historical articles and varied illustrations (including rare original art to accompany the text) makes it worth it. It may be hard to find, though, especially if a comic store isn't nearby (and then maybe even if it is), making a sub a great convenience.

For a classic TV lover: Season 2 of "Mr. Peepers." I have an agenda in promoting this one because the studio releasing it, S'Mores, reportedly did poorly with its "Make Room for Daddy" set. I like what I've seen of their work and want them to continue in the classic TV on DVD game.

"Peepers" might not be for everyone's tastes; it's a gentle comedy with a sensibility you just don't see in sitcoms today. But that's part of what makes it so fascinating to watch today. I don't have season 2 yet, but I hear the technical quality, particularly the sound, is improved over season 1, so this looks like a great purchase--an opportunity to give an vintage TV fan something different and support a small label that looks to have its heart in the right place.

For a baseball nut: "The Baseball Project Volume 1" is a fine rock album that will delight the sport's fans. This CD, of course, has been discussed here before and also here.

For a book lover: The easy thing would be to recommend gift card again, and I know I love having some free money in my pocket when I walk into a bookstore (or shop online). I could also recommend one of the many cool books I enjoyed this year, some of which I still intend to cover on this blog. But at the risk of sounding corny, I'd just say if you have a chance to give a loved one/friend/person-you-tolerate something that facilitates some reading time, go for it. I'm kind of thinking along the lines of that "browsing" concept again. Time is a precious commodity, and I think reading is one of the first things to go. A comfy chair, a snazzy set of bookmarks, one of those mini-lamp thingies--anything that encourages and gives someone the impetus to say, "Hey, yeah, I deserve an hour or so with a good book," is a worthy gift. Not giving me flak when I take a book along to the mall is also appreciated, but I doubt my wife is reading this.

Is it Bait and Switch when it's free?

I say yes. Just got this email, one of the regular "Members Only Giveaway" drawing deals I get from Entertainment Weakly:

Introducing the world's first 3mm thin TV, the Sony® Organic LED television. With a screen that's as thin as three credit cards, Sony's XEL-1 changes television. It also breaks new ground with a 1 million to 1 contrast ratio, outstanding brightness, accurate color reproduction, and an exceptionally rapid response time.

WOW! That sounds cool. I mean, I won't BUY one, but I'd love to win a free one and try it out. Where do I click?

But here's the next paragraph:

Also from Sony, comes Hancock. And for a limited time you can receive a chance to win one of 20 copies of Hancock on Blu-ray! Simply CLICK HERE for your chance to win.

Uh, no thanks.

Do we really need a reason?

I went over to Trader Joe's today to get a few non-essentials (man can't live on staples alone--well, maybe he can, but it's not much of a life) and saw, much to my non-surprise, the store will be closed tomorrow for Thanksgiving. That would be good enough for me, but the sign on the door adds this remark:

"...so that our crew can enjoy the holiday with their families."

Each major holiday, I see similar signs, and it always makes me wonder: Are there people who, barring such an explanation, will go up to the store on Thanksgiving, pound the door, peer inside, and wonder why the hell they can't get in to stock up on tempura shrimp?

Really, I think this situation falls into the "no explanation necessary" category. If you want to close your establishment on Thanksgiving, close it. If you close on a random Wednesday without apparent reason, I might be miffed for wasting the trip, but I think I get the picture on a big holiday.

If you want to assure me that you celebrate the occasion, well, that's fine, but unless you stop selling what I want at a reasonable price, I won't patronize your joint just because I know your employees like digging into a giant turkey like most of the rest of us.

I guess if someone has to say something, that explanation is a lot more customer-friendly than, "Trader Joe's will be closed Thanksgiving because nobody wants to work that day and we don't think you'll come out here and shop, anyway."

'Tis the season to be shopping

You're about to hear, if you haven't already, scores of dire prognostications as to the upcoming holiday shopping season. With the economy reputedly in the crapper, plus the natural tendency for the media to jump on anything that justifies a "Worst Christmas Season for Merchants in Years" headline, you just know there's gonna be some doom and gloom.

It's only common sense to believe people will cut back given all the bad stuff going on. But can we be sure people are gonna cut back on buying stuff? I'm starting to think otherwise based on anecdotal evidence--a fancy way of saying, "I talked to a few people," but, hey, one of these people was my wife, and I'm reasonably sure I can trust her.

Turns out the malls around here are already packed. Mrs. Shark returned burned out, frustrated, and dispirited after a brief shopping excursion last weekend. The mall was insane. This was the week before Thanksgiving, remember.

I've heard similar experiences already. In other words, though the world may be falling apart, though numbers just came out today reporting a big drop in consumer spending in October, I still have no reason to believe going to a shopping mall--or a big shopping center/plaza/strip mall/what have you, for that matter--will be anything less than a big migraine in the weeks ahead.

Maybe I'm wrong, though. Perhaps my area is insulated from the economic woes. Perhaps the shopping situation is so chaotic here that even a drop to mildly chaotic wouldn't register. I suppose it's even possible that all those families at the mall are just walking around and not actually shopping--but I doubt it.

In summary, then, the Cultureshark Christmas Economic Forecast calls for the following: Long lines, non-navigable parking lots, stifling crowds, and general confusion. You heard it here first!

A gripe with video rental joints

I've ranted this before, and I'll rant it again: Why in the world can't I search a video store's inventory online and see what they have from the comfort of my own home? I can do this with Redbox--one of the things that makes their system so consumer-friendly--but at the so-called traditional brick-and-mortal rental giants, Hollywood Video and Blockbuster, as far as I know, it's no dice.

Do these places expect me to--gasp--actually go in the store and try to find it without checking ahead of time? Hey, I've tried that 3 times, I think, at my local Hollywood Video since I moved Cultureshark Tower to its present location a few years ago. Each time, I came up empty and kind of regretted I made the effort.

Let's put aside for the moment the idea that these stores should be working to stock titles Netflix doesn't--like double-dip editions. I'd think that given the decline in their industry, these places would be eager to get me in the store. If I can go online and search the individual store's "shelves," even if I don't find what I'm looking for (in this case, the director's cut version of David Fincher,s "Zodiac"), maybe I'll see something else and be motivated to get into the store and grab it that day rather than wait for Netflix to bring it. I doubt it, but at least there's a chance.

Maybe I'm missing something fundamental, but it seems a missed opportunity here.

It rhymes with "City," anyway...

By now you've probably heard the news that Circuit City is closing 155 more stores as the troubled retailer struggles to stay solvent, or at least not totally unsolvent. This news summons mixed emotions.

Apart from grabbing a few decent deals on DVDs and visiting a few good CD sales, I've never seen visiting a Circuit City as a great experience. I dislike their store layout, I haven't received great service there, and I don't care for some of their policies on the corporate level. Just look at some more of the articles with the "Circuit City" tag on The Consumerist and see some of the sleazy stuff that goes on at this electronics chain. Heck, look at this from that same article linked above:

In classy fashion, Chicago CC employees were told the news at what was billed as a "holiday kickoff" meeting that instead became a "holiday layoff" meeting.

On the other hand, I feel for the employees who are losing their jobs right before their holidays. Plus it's yet another retail outlet going down the tubes. It's already established that we can't buy CDs anymore. I was at Target the other day with a few minutes to browse the music section, and I only needed a few seconds. Best Buy's selection has shrunk as well.

But what about DVDs? Right now, Blu-Ray seems to be a big thing--that's what they want us to think, at least--but what if that doesn't catch on? Even the home video software sections of retail chains are shrinking as the stores try to push high-end items like HDTVs. Oh, I know that when "The Dark Knight" comes out in a few weeks, you'll be able to buy it at anywhere from Rite-Aid to Linens and Things, but this isn't so for lesser known titles, let alone "catalogue" movies.

Are we heading to a point where online outlets like Amazon aren't just the best places to buy most DVDs, but the only ones? And if their competitors keep dropping out, will Amazon still need to offer such good pricing and service?

So, yes, the slow demise of Circuit City troubles me on one level. But mostly I can't help but feel this awful company deserves some bad karma. Most importantly, though, I do hope for the best for the poor employees who are getting pink-slipped.