What in the heck is wrong with June Allyson in "A Woman's World"?

Seriously. I think she's supposed to be a certain character type, but that character comes off as socially inept at best and borderline mentally handicapped at worst--and I say "at worst" not as a swipe at mentally disabled people, but as a swipe at the screenwriters.

"A Woman's World'" is a 1954 Fox picture directed by Jean Negulesco, known for directing some pretty darn good noirs and for being European. Well, that's an idiotic simplification, of course, but I can't help but wonder if Allyson's character is the product of his European background or just the typical Hollywood sensibility that equates "Middle America" with stupid.

This movie focuses on a fictional auto manufacturer whose general manager dies, leaving his brother, played by a very Clifton Webbish Clifton Webb, to select a replacement. He finds 3 capable candidates, then invites them and their wives to New York so he can meet with them, spy on them, etc. You see, Webb believes the quality of a man's wife is as critical to his executive suitability as he is. I can't tell if this movie's premise is incredibly sexist or refreshingly empowering.

So we see 3 couples "competing" with each other at social gatherings and meetings with Webb: Fred MacMurray and Lauren Bacall, Van Heflin and Arlene Dahl, and the token "nice" couple from Kansas City, Cornel Wilde and June Allyson.

Everyone is out dancing at a nice restaurant when someone tells Allyson that crossing your fingers is a good way to get what you wish for, and since she doesn't want to leave Kansas City, she crosses 'em and hopes her hubby doesn't get that great promotion, salary bump, and prestigious position at a major American car company that should thrive for decades to come (hey, this is the movies, remember). This is supposed to be endearing the way she plays it, on;y she keeps her fingers crossed after the dancing and spills her drink back at the table because it didn't occur to her that, you know, it might be tough to imbibe that way. This is an embarrassing moment, to be sure, but left unsaid is the implication that had she NOT spilled the drink, she presumably would have kept her fingers crossed the entire time they were in New York. She also drinks a few too many martinis and hiccups her way through a speech by Webb.

Later, the women are sent on a day trip around the city with Webb's assistant as their driver, and in the car, she badmouths the boss, not realizing that the assistant is Webb's nephew. Oops! She acts mortified, but, nephew or no, didn't it at least occur to her that the guy was an employee of the company and that maybe she should watch what she says around him? Apparently, she's just too "plain-spoken" to worry about that high-falutin' big-city stuff like being tactful about your husband's boss around his subordinates.

Allyson's character seems so much like a refugee from an "I Love Lucy" knockoff that it's no surprise when she dejectedly tells Wilde, "Oh, I did it again," and you expect to hear a muted trombone on the soundtrack while he shakes his finger and goes, "Oh, Katie, what'll I do with you," as they hug and we fade on the studio applause.

Instead, we get more hijinks. Wilde keeps telling her to get some nice, sexy clothes for the events they have planned, but she takes the money and buys it on a barbecue set she sees in one of the first store windows she passes because, gosh, the family would love it so. Evidently, they don't sell barbecue grills in Kansas City.

You have to wonder how in the world this couple has children, because it's difficult to picture Allyson being capable of sexual intercourse, let alone interested. Wilde even suggests she ask Bacall for help shopping because she is a woman who knows about clothes. Yeha, right, Cornel--she knows about clothes.

In fact, the writers do give Allyson's Katie a small triumph later, as she purposely spills a drink on herself to get some alone time with Webb's sister. Here she impresses Evelyn with that plain-spoken Midwestern know-how...or something. I still can't wrap my head around the fact she deliberately spilled the tea.

"A Woman's World" looks like part of the long Hollywood tradition of portraying Middle America types as rubes. It would be one thing if Allyson's character were seen as a deceptively sharp one, cannily subverting her husband's chances of getting the job on purpose, or if she were used more as a tool to puncture the stuffiness of urban corporate culture. But instead, she is a dimwit, an "Aw, what are you gonna do?" kind of wife Wilde puts up with because he loves her.

The movie itself is an amusing reflection of 1950s attitudes and lifestyles, but Allyson is a real oddball.

This Week in DVD

Adventureland: Didn't see this yet, but I'm grateful for its non-start at the box office. See, people ignore smart movies about teenagers just as much as they ignore smart movies about adults! I don't have anything else to say about this one, but it gives me an excuse to quote that "Honeymooners" episode in which Alice told Ralph their sink was Adventureland, while the icebox and the stove were Frontierland. I love "The Honeymooners."

Sunshine Cleaning: I don't know if this one if those smart movies about adults, but it sure seemed to fall off the face of the earth despite some early talk it would be a breakout hit. Now we can rent it, ignore all talk of "buzz," and enjoy the delightful Amy Adams. She's always welcome to clean up around here. Not that I want a crime scene to develop or anything, but...aw, never mind.

Duplicity: Speaking of smart movies about adults, you ever notice how when a movie like "Dupicity" underperforms, it's always because "audiences are ignoring smart movies about adults"? It's never, "Eh, our movie just didn't look all that good."

Corner Gas Season 5: Can we skip ahead to season 6? Now that WGN America has pulled the series (moment of silence, please), it looks like DVD is the only way we'll get to see the last batch of episodes.

The Rise and Fall of WCW: History is written by the victors, and we'll find out just how generous Vince McMahon and Co. are in this official WWE version of its former competitor's story. I'm just impressed they got Jim Crockett to do interviews for the documentary, and that won't mean anything to most of you, but I throw it in here for the others.

Thirtysomething Season 1: You can either buy it, rent it, or be true to the spirit of the show and spend 40-some angst-ridden minutes talking about whether to rent or buy it and how the ramifications of each alternative make you feel.

The Adventures of Robin Hood Season 4: Available online today, available in the $5 bin at your local Wal-Mart next year. I don't mean to rip on the show, I got season 1 that way and was happy to do so.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold Volume 1: This is a fun TV show, but come on, 4 episodes? Only 4 episodes? Get with the times, WB. I thought ripping off consumers was one of the casualties of the recession. I guess this is a company with confidence.

Panel Discussion: World's Finest #73

I don't know if I can say enough how much I love "World's Finest," but regular readers are sure gonna find out as I make my way through the first Showcase Presents collection of the classic Superman/Batman team-up book. I like the panel above because as a longtime newspaper reader, I feel a warm nostalgia. Remember the days when the industry was so healthy that "The Daily Planet" could afford to send two of its top reporters to another city to dig for stories at a carnival?

Later, Robin is captured by thugs who contact Batman and tell him he can save the Boy Wonder if he brings a scimitar they want. Batman meekly says he'll have to trust them and asks for the address. So, armed with the scimitar, the location of their hideout, and of course all his resounding Batness, what is the Caped Crusader's plan to save his old chum?

That's right--he KNOCKS ON THE DOOR!

"Um, hello? Criminal gang? It's me, Batman! Come on, guys, it's cold out here!"

I hope Chris Nolan introduces Robin in his next Batman film so that Christian Bale can recreate this scene.

Celebrating daytime excellence?

While perusing Sunday's TV listings to see what kind of sports action will be on the tube Sunday night, I noticed the Daytime Emmy Awards are set for 8:00 P.M. on the CW. Remember when this ceremony was on a real network every year? Now it must settle for a spot on whatever the CW is.

Just for fun, let's look at how the local CW affiliate hauled in at Cultureshark Tower, WDCW in the nation's capital, exemplifies the spirit of excellence in daytime broadcasting.

At 8:00 A.M., we start the day with that classy mainstay Jerry Springer. I'm not making an arbitrary pick with that 8:00 start time, either. You see, the channel shows infomercials for several hours prior.

Then it's an hour of Judge Mathis, followed by another hour of courtroom drama with "The People's Court." At this point, apparently everyone at WDCW breaks for lunch because instead of doing something creative, they just pop in another episode of "People's Court" at 11:00.

After 3 hours of court-related hijinks, we're ready for some variety, right? WDCW recognizes this and offers up at noon "The Steve Wilkos Show," which is hosted, of course, by the former bodyguard from...Jerry Springer's show.

The variety CONTINUES, though, as the CW follows the exploitive chat show with...another exploitive chat show! This time, it's Maury Povich. But hey, Maury's been doing this a long time, so I'll give him squatter's rights in the daytime here. As long as we get something new at 2:00, I won't complain.

At 2:00 is another episode of "Maury."

Maybe after 3 hours of similar programming, you're tired of this faux talk show drama. So what will wash the taste out of your mouth and recharge you for the rest of the day? WDCW knows. Why, it's another court show, of course--Judge Jeanine Pirro this time.

At 4:00, the channel--amazingly--switches gears and broadcasts a pair of sitcoms--"The Jamie Foxx Show" and "The Wayans Brothers." Something different! Imagine that!

Hey, I didn't say good sitcoms.

Then to close out the daytime lineup and ease us into the evening, WDCW makes a brilliant programming move, giving its loyal viewers the perfect show to bring this exhilarating daylong journey full circle:

Yep, it's "Judge Mathis."

What better channel to showcase the best of daytime programming?

Vault of Coolness: TV Channels December 1977 (Baltimore area)

My friend found this newspaper TV supplement while doing some housecleaning, and, boy, am I glad she thought of me and passed it along, because it's a great read. I'll probably refer to it more in future "Vault" posts, but for now let's look at the closing paragraph of the cover story highlighting Christmas specials such as this version of "Annie":

"...good programing (sic) is so often in conflict with other good programs that one wishes to see"?

Thankfully, much has changed since 1977, thanks to the landmark FCC mandate in 1983 that networks devote 90% of their schedules to utter crap, thereby ensuring viewers will rarely, if ever, have to choose between good programs they wish to see.

Michael Jackson article in "Rolling Stone"

The "Rolling Stone" cover story a few weeks back on "Michael Jackson's Final Days" proved me both right and wrong. I was wrong to be skeptical that those comeback concerts would have gone off; there is plenty of evidence that this time, erratic as his work habits could be, Jackson was determined to pull it off. It may not have gone all according to schedule, but it would have happened in some form.

I was wrong. Sorry about that, Magic Johnson and Kobe Bryant (Theirs is the only clip I saw from the funeral coverage, so I'm making them de facto Jackson spokesmen).

I was right about one aspect, however: Jacko's massive ego, the only thing bigger than "Thriller's" sales numbers. One example should suffice: According to this story, Jackson chose the original figure of 31 concerts in London's O2 Arena "so he would have 10 more shows than Prince, who had opened the arena with a series of spectacular concerts in 2007." Writer Claire Hoffman adds that Jackson had feuded with Prince since he refused to duet with him on "Bad" in 1987., and in 2009, he still wanted to "upstage his rival and remind the world who was King."

That would be the King of Pop--a self-proclaimed title, I might add.

This is why it was always so difficult for me to feel sorry for Michael Jackson. For whatever reason, he had a massive ego, even by rock-star standards, that rendered his whole persona increasingly off-putting, especially as the music declined.

I mean, come on, you mean to tell me this guy was a joke in the entertainment biz for years, and then when he is finally on the verge of putting it back together--maybe--he's engaging in petty one-upsmanship with Prince?

(Incidentally, wouldn't it be funny if he were engaging in petty one-upsmanship with Tom Petty? Michael Jackson would be all like, "I'm gonna name my album SUPER Highway Companion, and Tom Petty would be all like, "Eh. Whatever.")

I don't expect pop stars to be humble, but they can at least give it a shot. This article shows to me that Michael Jackson's drive to return as a legitimate performer was not for artistic reasons or for a passion for music. It was to "prove to the world," blah, blah, blah, "King of Pop," blah, blah, blah.