Gravity: To the tune of "tragedy" by the Bee Gees:
It's gravity
When your spaceship's gone and you can't go on
It's gravity
When...eh, never mind. But it's been in MY head ever since the movie came out.
Hey, I really want to see this, but I don't have a 3-D IMAX Ultrasphere Supercalibrated THX-NRBQ auditorium in my home. Should I even bother renting the DVD? Everybody says, "You gotta see it in a theater!"
Blue is the Warmest Color: This is a serious FILM, ladies and gentlemen, and it deserves more than just a tag of "that erotic NC-17 lesbian movie." So I'm gonna try to think of something else to say about it.
Nebraska: Alexander Payne's acclaimed black-and-white dramedy may give Bruce Dern an Oscar. But as a Penn State fan, I'm still bitter over 1994 (look it up), and I refuse to watch anything with "Nebraska" in the title.
Thor: The Dark World: He's back. He's bigger, stronger, THORer...but I still suspect he's faking that accent when I see him doing non-Thor stuff. I was all set to go on a rant about how I'd like to see a superhero sequel go "light" instead of "dark" for a change until I remembered "Spider-Man 3." And much of "Superman II." And "V for Vendetta II." OK, I made that last one up. But it would have stunk.
Blue is the Warmest Color: Eh...nothing yet. Hang on a minute.
King of the Hill (Criterion): This early Steven Soderbergh joint was unavailable on video for a long time, and that kind of built it up in my mind to the point where when I saw it on cable and found it only really good instead of an instant classic...I was almost disappointed. Let that be a lesson: Never get your hopes up for anything.
LA Law Season 1: Let's go back to the 1980s! This was a pretty big deal back in the day but was all but forgotten not long after. I'm glad Shout Factory is giving it a shot. Perhaps more Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere will follow.
Blue is the Warmest Color: Uh...not much else to say yet...
WWE Royal Rumble 2014: This PPV event will be notorious for years because of the way the fans crapped all over the main event. I feel like I have to reassure non-wrestling fans that I don't mean that wrestling fans literally crapped all over it.
And in streaming...
Netflix had another slow week. I guess the new normal is waiting for the high-profile releases like the originals and kind of looking for surprises and the monthly mostly-MGM catalog dumps.
Hey, look what IS on streaming this week, though: Blue is the Warmest Color. It's on streaming day and date with the DVD release. There. I did it!
The final episodes of Breaking Bad are available, according to an email Netflix sent me, and that's cool, but I just saw them a few months ago. The Guild looks like it could be an interesting series to try. Some documentaries are back, like Casino Jack, Crazy Love, Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room...but these are all re-adds.
Hey, Hulu Plus, I'm still waiting for those CBS/Paramount series! I did see that nearly all episodes of 1955 single-season CBS horse show The Adventures of Champion are now up there, but those come not from CBS, but from American Pop.
Warner Archive Instant disappointed me this weekend. Nothing new was added except a "Warner Goes to War" showcase row of titles. It's a great idea, packaging 7 WWII-themed films and making a neat category, but all 7 were already on the service. That's two empty weeks in a row. I will say this for WAI, though: since the channel's upgrade several weeks ago, it launches faster than it did before on Roku.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
You mean I can't get a real Fire Maiden of Outer Space?
Can you see what it says at the bottom of this screencap from the opening of Olive Films' DVD release of "Fire Maidens of Outer Space" (1956)?
Yep: "ALL CHARACTERS IN SPACE ARE FICTITIOUS."
First of all...thanks! Wouldn't have known that otherwise. But does that mean that all the terrestrial characters are REAL?
Second...is it just me, or does that announcement seem like kind of a killjoy? "Don't get too invested in these Fire Maidens; they're just made up characters in a made-up movie."
It's almost like the movie is trying to warn us right away that it's not going to be nearly as fun as the title makes us think it is.
Yep: "ALL CHARACTERS IN SPACE ARE FICTITIOUS."
First of all...thanks! Wouldn't have known that otherwise. But does that mean that all the terrestrial characters are REAL?
Second...is it just me, or does that announcement seem like kind of a killjoy? "Don't get too invested in these Fire Maidens; they're just made up characters in a made-up movie."
It's almost like the movie is trying to warn us right away that it's not going to be nearly as fun as the title makes us think it is.
Monday, February 24, 2014
VH-1 Classic irks me in two big ways in the same video
It's bad enough VH-1 Classic has made videos the filler, not the centerpiece of its schedule, but I've already fought that battle and lost. But for a while, even if we were sick of "Married with Children" reruns and wanted to see an old video, we could turn to our cable provider's On Demand section and see a handful of choice selections. It wasn't the best deal around, but it was something.
I don't know if it's a CONcast thing, but for some time now, the only videos in the VH-1 Classic section have been recent clips shot at various music festivals. So instead of the vintage videos, we see live concert versions. OK, there may be value in that footage, but at least give us the option of seeing the original performance, not one recorded two years ago.
Out of curiosity, a few weeks ago I watched Ugly Kid Joe performing "I Hate Everything About You" at one of those multi-act outdoor shows. I hadn't seen the actual video in years, but I sure remembered the song, and so did the appreciative crowd. That's a good thing.
What's not so good is the lead singer doing one of my least favorite rock frontman gimmicks: the one where he stops singing and holds the microphone out to the crowd so that they can sing for him. Whenever this happens at a concert I attend, I want to groan and yell, "We didn't pay to hear ourselves!" I mean, really, there is a thrill in sharing a communal sing-along during a music show, but if I shell out big bucks for a ticket, I want to hear the words coming from the singer, not from all the inebriated ham-and-eggers standing next to me.
Besides, if you're Ugly Kid Joe, isn't it the least you can do to make it through your one hit all the way through all by yourselves? The band looked enthusiastic and happy to be there, but, gee, it's safe to assume this wasn't the culmination of a 3-hour set. Get on, do your hits to the best of your ability, make way for the Soup Dragons, and get off!
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
This Week in DVD and Instant Watching
This is one of the slowest DVD weeks in recent memory. I'm tempted to go see if the dollar store got a new shipment of budget discs just so I can have something to write about. I did notice the box of ultra-cheap dollar DVDs on the bottom shelf of the sucker aisle at the Wal-Mart checkout had a Mr. and Mrs. North DVD, but it "only" had 3 episodes, so I wasn't even tempted. It's still cool to think that even though they're so tucked away, you can still find copies of "The Basketball Fix" for a dollar apiece on retail shelves.
Fantastic Mr. Fox: It may sound like an odd choice for Criterion, but if Wes Anderson left his phone camera on and recorded the inside of his coat pocket for 90 minutes, they'd put that on DVD.
Foreign Correspondent: Why do all these Alfred Hitchock movies get fancy Criterion re-releases? Who does this guy think he is, Wes Anderson?
6 Million Dollar Man Season 5: I think literally every other episode this season is a two-parter, which is surely an indication of how intricate the show's sophisticated plots had become by the fifth season. Also, this is the season when Steve Austin literally goes to the moon.
Game of Thrones Season 3: Yep, sometimes I sure wish I had HBO.
Nurse Jackie Season 5: Yet I'm OK with not having Showtime.
Thankfully, Warner Archive gives us some excitement this week with Vitaphone Comedy Collection Volume 2: Shemp Howard. YES! Volume 1, which features Shemp and Fatty Arbuckle (along with Lionel Stander, Ben Blue, and others) is an outstanding set. This one is even more Shemptastic! Also new from the Archive: What Price Hollywood? (1932) and Beware the Batman season 1.
And in streaming, let's look at Netflix first:
House of Cards Season 2: I haven't gotten there yet, but just tell me that the guy who runs the rib joint is back. He's the one decent character in the whole bunch.
Passion: I don't know much about this Brian DePalma movie, but I think it's safe to assume it involves sexual tension, blonde women, and homages to Hitchcock.
Marvel's Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United: This is terribly unfair to Marvel, but this just makes me wish the recent DC Dark Knight animated films were available.
On Hulu, I don't think these Carsey-Warner shows were available before: Cybill, A Different World, and Grace Under Fire. I notice it's only the first few seasons of "World." Come on, Hulu, what is this crap? We're still waiting for more than the first couple seasons of all those MTM shows. I guess they're never coming. I'll be really disappointed if those new CBS library shows that are coming aren't complete series runs.
And speaking of that, where ARE those new CBS library shows?
Warner Archive Instant did not add any movies, as far as I can tell, but it didn't remove another couple dozen, either. Good news is two interesting Western TV series were added to the lineup:
A Man Called Shenandoah, which sounds excellent (I've never seen it but sure intend to give it a watch) though it only lasted one season; and The Rounders: A cowboy sitcom based on the 1965 Glenn Ford/Henry Fonda movie, but in the series you get Ron Hayes and Patrick (John's son) Wayne. It lasted only 17 episodes, but all are here.
It's great to see WAI load up on the old movies, of course, but I'm almost more delighted by the obscure television that shows up. It seems like it's been a while since anything new appeared in that section, so that's an interesting update. I expect another good movie add this Friday, though.
Fantastic Mr. Fox: It may sound like an odd choice for Criterion, but if Wes Anderson left his phone camera on and recorded the inside of his coat pocket for 90 minutes, they'd put that on DVD.
Foreign Correspondent: Why do all these Alfred Hitchock movies get fancy Criterion re-releases? Who does this guy think he is, Wes Anderson?
6 Million Dollar Man Season 5: I think literally every other episode this season is a two-parter, which is surely an indication of how intricate the show's sophisticated plots had become by the fifth season. Also, this is the season when Steve Austin literally goes to the moon.
Game of Thrones Season 3: Yep, sometimes I sure wish I had HBO.
Nurse Jackie Season 5: Yet I'm OK with not having Showtime.
Thankfully, Warner Archive gives us some excitement this week with Vitaphone Comedy Collection Volume 2: Shemp Howard. YES! Volume 1, which features Shemp and Fatty Arbuckle (along with Lionel Stander, Ben Blue, and others) is an outstanding set. This one is even more Shemptastic! Also new from the Archive: What Price Hollywood? (1932) and Beware the Batman season 1.
And in streaming, let's look at Netflix first:
House of Cards Season 2: I haven't gotten there yet, but just tell me that the guy who runs the rib joint is back. He's the one decent character in the whole bunch.
Passion: I don't know much about this Brian DePalma movie, but I think it's safe to assume it involves sexual tension, blonde women, and homages to Hitchcock.
Marvel's Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United: This is terribly unfair to Marvel, but this just makes me wish the recent DC Dark Knight animated films were available.
On Hulu, I don't think these Carsey-Warner shows were available before: Cybill, A Different World, and Grace Under Fire. I notice it's only the first few seasons of "World." Come on, Hulu, what is this crap? We're still waiting for more than the first couple seasons of all those MTM shows. I guess they're never coming. I'll be really disappointed if those new CBS library shows that are coming aren't complete series runs.
And speaking of that, where ARE those new CBS library shows?
Warner Archive Instant did not add any movies, as far as I can tell, but it didn't remove another couple dozen, either. Good news is two interesting Western TV series were added to the lineup:
A Man Called Shenandoah, which sounds excellent (I've never seen it but sure intend to give it a watch) though it only lasted one season; and The Rounders: A cowboy sitcom based on the 1965 Glenn Ford/Henry Fonda movie, but in the series you get Ron Hayes and Patrick (John's son) Wayne. It lasted only 17 episodes, but all are here.
It's great to see WAI load up on the old movies, of course, but I'm almost more delighted by the obscure television that shows up. It seems like it's been a while since anything new appeared in that section, so that's an interesting update. I expect another good movie add this Friday, though.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Journey into DVD: Roundup of movies I got at the liberry
That's right, my local library. It's not just for renting space out to community groups too small to rent out a school auditorium or HOA office anymore! it has books, magazines, and even DVDs.
Ocean's 13: Well, it was better than Ocean's 12. I mean, much better than Ocean's 12. It's pretty much just what it wants to be (what it should be?): a fun heist film. The gang gets back together to screw over Al Pacino's character, who has just screwed over Elliott Gould's character. It is a credit to Gould that his character (admittedly, one already well established in the Oceaniverse) leaves a far bigger impression than Pacino's, but come on. We all wanted to see an over-the-top Al shouting down all the A-, B-, and C-listers in the cast. Instead, he's just...effective at playing at a prick who deserves to have his casino ruined. In essence, fans of the series won't be disappointed, but fans of Extreme Pacino might be. I enjoyed Ocean's 13 but can't think of any particular reason to watch it again.
Admission: It's not the movie's fault that the studio sold it as a delightful romantic comedy (remember that cute scene of Tina Fey and Paul Rudd in those rustic shower stalls?) when it's more of a dramedy (or even just a light drama) about self-identity. It may be my fault for not getting what I expected and feeling a little thrown off. It IS the movie's fault for not being sharper, funnier, or more interesting.
Just because it isn't the kind of generic romantic comedy the marketing might have indicated doesn't mean that it is an intelligent film by default. It's thoughtful but never all that compelling. Fey's admissions officer at Princeton finds herself screwing with the process in order to help a boy who Rudd's character believes is the son she put up for adoption years ago.
I'm not sure "Admission" ever knows what it wants to be, and the result is a muddle. It doesn't quite make any solid points about elitism of the university system, and in fact at some point you just wonder, "Who cares if the kid gets into Princeton? He can go to some less snooty school and get a decent education." I'm sure a lot of people will want to like this just because it stars Fey and Rudd, but those two deserve better.
Midnight in Paris: I watched this before the Dylan Farrow scandal kicked back into high gear during the Golden Globes. I feel like we have to at least address that whenever we talk about a Woody Allen movie right now--well, not that "we have to," but rather I feel I need to. I have an opinion, but I can watch the movies while distancing myself from that opinion. Borrowing a movie from the library makes it easier than paying 11 bucks to see it in a theater. Plus Woody's not even in this one.
I don't have a strong opinion about "Midnight in Paris." I was expecting something magically charming or at least charmingly magical. Instead I got an amusing but not all that substantial fantasy about nostalgia. Owen Wilson made an enjoyable enough Woody substitute though and even an acceptable enough romantic novelist type. But the ending was anticlimactic, and why do we have to kiss Paris' ass all the time, anyway? I liked this a lot more than "Vicky Christina Barcelona," but I didn't think it was all that big a deal.
X-Men First Class: OK, let's end on a high note after 3 lukewarmish mini-reviews. This one is fantastic, easily the best of the franchise, and I'm irritated I didn't see it sooner. I don't know how well it holds up "in continuity" with the other 3, and I don't care. This is a prequel that brings new life into the series.
The casting is fine, especially James McAvoy as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Magneto, and their relationship is credible and absorbing. On the villain side, well, January Jones as Emma Frost is a misfire, but Kevin Bacon at least seems to be having a great time as Sebastian Shaw.
I like how "First Class" sets up the X-Men while also combining elements of Cold War history. I really was kind of "eh" at the prospect of Bryan Singer bringing more of these movies to the big screen, but with Matthew Vaughn directing, I think they have hit on the right formula. Action, intrigue, and superheroes--I strongly recommend this one and look forward to May's "Days of Future Past."
Ocean's 13: Well, it was better than Ocean's 12. I mean, much better than Ocean's 12. It's pretty much just what it wants to be (what it should be?): a fun heist film. The gang gets back together to screw over Al Pacino's character, who has just screwed over Elliott Gould's character. It is a credit to Gould that his character (admittedly, one already well established in the Oceaniverse) leaves a far bigger impression than Pacino's, but come on. We all wanted to see an over-the-top Al shouting down all the A-, B-, and C-listers in the cast. Instead, he's just...effective at playing at a prick who deserves to have his casino ruined. In essence, fans of the series won't be disappointed, but fans of Extreme Pacino might be. I enjoyed Ocean's 13 but can't think of any particular reason to watch it again.
Admission: It's not the movie's fault that the studio sold it as a delightful romantic comedy (remember that cute scene of Tina Fey and Paul Rudd in those rustic shower stalls?) when it's more of a dramedy (or even just a light drama) about self-identity. It may be my fault for not getting what I expected and feeling a little thrown off. It IS the movie's fault for not being sharper, funnier, or more interesting.
Just because it isn't the kind of generic romantic comedy the marketing might have indicated doesn't mean that it is an intelligent film by default. It's thoughtful but never all that compelling. Fey's admissions officer at Princeton finds herself screwing with the process in order to help a boy who Rudd's character believes is the son she put up for adoption years ago.
I'm not sure "Admission" ever knows what it wants to be, and the result is a muddle. It doesn't quite make any solid points about elitism of the university system, and in fact at some point you just wonder, "Who cares if the kid gets into Princeton? He can go to some less snooty school and get a decent education." I'm sure a lot of people will want to like this just because it stars Fey and Rudd, but those two deserve better.
Midnight in Paris: I watched this before the Dylan Farrow scandal kicked back into high gear during the Golden Globes. I feel like we have to at least address that whenever we talk about a Woody Allen movie right now--well, not that "we have to," but rather I feel I need to. I have an opinion, but I can watch the movies while distancing myself from that opinion. Borrowing a movie from the library makes it easier than paying 11 bucks to see it in a theater. Plus Woody's not even in this one.
I don't have a strong opinion about "Midnight in Paris." I was expecting something magically charming or at least charmingly magical. Instead I got an amusing but not all that substantial fantasy about nostalgia. Owen Wilson made an enjoyable enough Woody substitute though and even an acceptable enough romantic novelist type. But the ending was anticlimactic, and why do we have to kiss Paris' ass all the time, anyway? I liked this a lot more than "Vicky Christina Barcelona," but I didn't think it was all that big a deal.
X-Men First Class: OK, let's end on a high note after 3 lukewarmish mini-reviews. This one is fantastic, easily the best of the franchise, and I'm irritated I didn't see it sooner. I don't know how well it holds up "in continuity" with the other 3, and I don't care. This is a prequel that brings new life into the series.
The casting is fine, especially James McAvoy as Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender as Magneto, and their relationship is credible and absorbing. On the villain side, well, January Jones as Emma Frost is a misfire, but Kevin Bacon at least seems to be having a great time as Sebastian Shaw.
I like how "First Class" sets up the X-Men while also combining elements of Cold War history. I really was kind of "eh" at the prospect of Bryan Singer bringing more of these movies to the big screen, but with Matthew Vaughn directing, I think they have hit on the right formula. Action, intrigue, and superheroes--I strongly recommend this one and look forward to May's "Days of Future Past."
Monday, February 17, 2014
Oscar-nominated movies I actually want to see
I'd give you a full Academy Awards preview, but I don't really know what's going on and I haven't seen any of the movies. What I can do, though, is tell you which ones I actually want to see. Why I will do that is...uh, never mind the why. I just will.
NOTE: I took all films nominated for one of the major categories, including best picture and the acting groups but also things like sound editing, and divided them all into various categories.
MUST SEE
American Hustle
Gravity
Frozen
Her
The Wolf of Wall Street
WANT TO SEE
All is Lost
Nebraska
Prisoners
ALREADY SAW--HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT!
Star Trek: Into Darkness
Iron Man 3
WILL SEE SOON BECAUSE IT'S ON NETFLIX AND I'LL WATCH IT WITH MY KIDS
The Croods
HAVE TO SEE THE FIRST ONE FIRST
Despicable Me 2
AM NOT DYING TO SEE BUT WILL TRY TO SEE EVENTUALLY BECAUSE OF THE PEDIGREE AND/OR THE REVIEWS
Before Midnight
Dallas Buyers Club
Philomena
Captain Phillips
Blue Jasmine
Inside Llewyn Davis
The Wind Rises
Saving Mr. Banks
AM NOT DYING TO SEE BECAUSE, FRANKLY, IT SOUNDS INTENSE AND I CAN'T SEE MYSELF JUST RENTING IT ON A WHIM AT THE REDBOX KIOSK BUT AM AFRAID TO PUT IT ANOTHER CATEGORY BECAUSE IT MIGHT MAKE ME SEEM LIKE A BAD PERSON
12 Years a Slave
MAYBE AFTER I RE-READ THE BOOK
The Great Gatsby
DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Ernest and Celestine
The Grandmaster
WHAT THE HELL? IF IT COMES TO NETFLIX, SURE
The Lone Ranger
DON'T NEED TO SEE ANYTIME SOON
August: Osage County
The Book Thief
Lone Survivor
NOPE
Jackass Presents: Bad Grampa
The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
NOTE: I took all films nominated for one of the major categories, including best picture and the acting groups but also things like sound editing, and divided them all into various categories.
MUST SEE
American Hustle
Gravity
Frozen
Her
The Wolf of Wall Street
WANT TO SEE
All is Lost
Nebraska
Prisoners
ALREADY SAW--HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT!
Star Trek: Into Darkness
Iron Man 3
WILL SEE SOON BECAUSE IT'S ON NETFLIX AND I'LL WATCH IT WITH MY KIDS
The Croods
HAVE TO SEE THE FIRST ONE FIRST
Despicable Me 2
AM NOT DYING TO SEE BUT WILL TRY TO SEE EVENTUALLY BECAUSE OF THE PEDIGREE AND/OR THE REVIEWS
Before Midnight
Dallas Buyers Club
Philomena
Captain Phillips
Blue Jasmine
Inside Llewyn Davis
The Wind Rises
Saving Mr. Banks
AM NOT DYING TO SEE BECAUSE, FRANKLY, IT SOUNDS INTENSE AND I CAN'T SEE MYSELF JUST RENTING IT ON A WHIM AT THE REDBOX KIOSK BUT AM AFRAID TO PUT IT ANOTHER CATEGORY BECAUSE IT MIGHT MAKE ME SEEM LIKE A BAD PERSON
12 Years a Slave
MAYBE AFTER I RE-READ THE BOOK
The Great Gatsby
DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Ernest and Celestine
The Grandmaster
WHAT THE HELL? IF IT COMES TO NETFLIX, SURE
The Lone Ranger
DON'T NEED TO SEE ANYTIME SOON
August: Osage County
The Book Thief
Lone Survivor
NOPE
Jackass Presents: Bad Grampa
The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
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