Hazel: The Early Years #4: A Matter of Principle

There are 3 big takeaways from this episode, and 2 of them are evident in the show's cold open (Is it just me, or does "cold open" feel like too modern a term to use with a 1960s sitcom?). First is whatever is going on with Don Defore's right hand. It's heavily bandaged the entire episode, and we are told that George Baxter injured it catching a line drive from Hazel.

Takeaway #2: Hazel continues to be the Babe Didrikson of her era. The series has already established her prowess at football and bowling, and now we  learn she is a whiz at baseball, too. That's not all, though! One of George's endless parade of pompous clients struggles with his golf swing in this episode until Hazel, eyeballing him for about 2 seconds, diagnoses his problem and gives him a tip that improves his game. She's an expert golfer as well!

Let's go back to George's hand, though. There are several references to the injury throughout the episode, and it seems an odd thing to just write into the story, so I believe Defore hurt himself in real life. The romantic in me likes to think he broke some dude's jaw in a bar fight.

The third big takeaway is that, while Hazel is an expert in matters of medicine, the culinary arts, and of course athletics, Mr. B really is a talented attorney. Even though the scenario that reinforces it in this episode is rather ridiculous, it's gratifying to see that Hazel does respect and appreciate Mr. Baxter's abilities. Plus he is the one who solves the big "mystery" at the heart of the story. Sometimes the show leans so far in the other direction that I love seeing some signs that George is capable of some things and Hazel does need him sometimes.

Hazel gets a parking ticket while shopping despite putting change in ("better safe than sorry") as soon as she and Harold get out of the car. She insists she is innocent, and when George sees how disturbed she is, he offers to take care of it. Only he means he'll pay for it, but she wants him to defend her in court.

So we go to court over a minor parking violation, and not only that, corporate attorney George defends Hazel before a judge against a district attorney who calls witnesses and everything. Amazingly, the judge even permits a field trip in the middle of the trial so that everyone can assemble at the scene of the "violation" for George to make his triumphant conclusions.

Why not? It's not like they have anything more important to do, I'm sure.

This is a fine episode packed with veteran actors like Vinton Hayworth as Mr. Sunderland, who would return several times in Hazel and go on to play General Schaeffer on I Dream of Jeannie;  and Lewis Martin as Judge Rosencrantz.

And, hey, is this a young Victor French telling the judge he can't do anything about the loud jackhammering outside the courtroom?

Larry Haddon (who also returned to the show in a different role years later) has a prominent role as the prosecutor determined to preserve the credibility of the local constabulary by proving Hazel deserves her citation.

Hazel's golf tips, Mr. B's acumen, and the mysterious hand injury make this a highlight of season 1!

'Mooners Monday #5: Honeymooners Books Part 1

I'm going to step back today from the episode-by-episode impressions and start a periodic review of Honeymooners books. (Classic TV fans, take note: Hazel: The Early Years returns Wednesday with a big look at another season 1 installment!)

In this series of posts, I refer often to The Official Honeymooners Treasury, a book published in 1985 and written by the co-founders of RALPH (Royal Association for the Longevity and Preservation of the Honeymooners). As far as I know, this remains the definitive book on the show, and it is 1000% recommended to any fan of the show. The guys received cooperation and blessings from the Great One himself and other writers, cast, and crew of the series, and the result is indeed a treasure trove.

The format is a general overview of the show, followed by chapters devoted to each of the 'Classic 38" episodes that lived on in syndication for decades. Each of those chapters contains a long list of trivia questions and excerpts from original scripts--many of which were drastically reworked or outright scrapped before air. As authors Peter Crescenti and Bob Columbe write in their introduction, reading all this material is the equivalent of finding a 40th episode (Of course, 1985 was just before the Lost Episodes resurfaced and gave fans scores of "new" episodes to devour).

Things that were commonly deleted from the scripts include Norton threatening to hit Trixie (obviously some of those survived), plus other recurring jokes the writers kept trying to include but Gleason kept crossing out.  The authors also note that Ralph is even more devious in the scripts than in the finished episodes.

I am not a big fan of trivia books, but in this case, the answers (presented in the back of the book) often come with little tidbits, so it is worth reading them even if you don't care to play along. Better yet are the stills, ephemera (like original TV Guide close-ups), and other info in each chapter. For example, last week I talked about Herb Norris, host of the fictional $99,000 Answer. That episode's chapter contains quotes from Jay Jackson, who played Norris and shared his thoughts on the experience. One of the highlights of the Treasury is the wealth of info on supporting players like Jackson or, say, recently deceased Freda Rosen, AKA Rita Wedermeyer in Alice and the Blonde.

The authors pack all sorts of cool stuff into this format--pictures, illustrations, merchandising----it's all here. I just wish there were an updated edition, maybe something incorporating the Lost Episodes (though there IS a separate book for those--stay tuned for more on that). Until then, you'll have an easier time prying Jim McKeever's ring off Ralph's finger than getting this book from my hands. Plenty of copies are available on secondary markets and on Amazon.

If you don't believe me, take it from the two blurbs on the back of the book:

"It's an amazing book! It knows more than I do!"--Jackie Gleason
"As far as I'm concerned, the Honeymoon will never be over! I loved The Official Honeymooners Treasury!--Art Carney

Streaming Video Power Rankings Week 52 (Special, hey, that's a whole year! edition)

One year of power rankings, and this remains THE single most popular weekly feature on the Internet...on this blog. Thanks for your support, and may your streaming be fruitful in the year ahead.

1) Netflix: Not much competition, and nor should there be when Netflix is offering a new season of GRACE AND FRANKIE.

Kidding aside, I finally picked a telenovela to start watching, and I'm into it. One thing about Netflix: You usually get quality subtitles that are easy to read.

And, hey, an original movie with Melissa Leo as atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair, The Most Hated Woman in America, sounds interesting.

It's almost enough to make you forget that Netflix just extended its Adam Sandler deal.

2) Hulu: I already feel like I'm way behind on the shows I was watching on here again! Not Hulu's fault, though. It added a bunch of anime, if that's your bag, and "Doomed," a documentary about the infamous Roger Corman Fantastic Four movie. How funny is it that they have tried to revive the franchise twice since the Corman flick, and they still haven't gotten it right?

It's interesting that Fear the Walking Dead landed here this week, considering the mothership is on Netflix.  Also, Hulu announced another season for Shut Eye, indicating that, contrary to my unofficial metrics, there are people watching that series.

3) YouTube: Danny Dark tribute posts like the one I posted a few days ago wouldn't be possible with YouTube, folks!

4) Days of Dumont: The Dumont tribute channel did it again, adding a bunch of new shows this week! Expect this one to stay in the top 10 for a few weeks.

5) Shout! Factory TV: Come to The Goodtime Hour for Glen Campbell, stay for John Byner working Dean Martin and John Wayne impressions in whenever possible.

6) The CW: It might be a notch or two higher if I weren't so annoyed by seeing the same ad for Forever (now on CW Seed--yippee!) a dozen times during one episode of Legends of Tomorrow.

7) Warner Archive Instant: I need to dive back in here, but I did enjoy a Dr. Kildare with James Shibata, and, hey, more seasons of The FBI are available. This is still too expensive, but it has made some strides since last year at this time.

8) Pizza Flix: Still quietly adding new content each week, still free.

9) WWE Network: As we hit the peak of WrestleMania season, the subscription numbers should be going up, up, up! Of course, after the event and after people's months expire, they will go down, down, down, but that's later.

10) BritBox: A very quiet debut on Roku last week, but this BBC/ITV joint venture merits attention. $6.99/month for access to a decent catalog of back titles and an interesting assortment of shows that are airing in Britain right now. It might be worth a tryout soon, but make it count--these cheapskates offer a skimpy 7-day trial.

TV Promo Theatre #2: Danny Dark at NBC

We kicked off this feature with a look at the great Ernie Anderson. Today I want to give respect to his counterpart at NBC (CBS before that), Danny Dark, with two promos that show off his versatility as the network's #1 hype man.

(Thanks to the great uploader "Sean Mc" for these and so many more great promos)

Notice that this one starts with a bumper as Dark says we'll return to V after the following messages. Even this is not just a throwaway. There's real tension in his voice--not because we're afraid of the promos revealing the weakness of NBC's prime-time schedule, but because aliens are invading.

Then the Real People promo has Dark teasing Byron Allen's aerial adventures, complete with an "Up, up, and away!" serving as a playful nod to a character Dark had voiced: Howard the Duck. (I'm kidding; it's Superman, of course).

THEN...

Yes, the single word then offers a smooth transition to a Very Special Episode. Listen to how Dark downshifts effortlessly to tell us about this "emotion-filled" Facts of Life with hushed tones.

Next up, it's Remington Steele, and Dark calls him "the sexiest, smoooothest private eye around" as he goes into "I'm talking about looooove" mode.

He follows that line with, "Who but Remington Steele would dare to follow The A-Team?" and his jovial line reading is a perfect complement to a wacky stunt.

I love hearing Casey Kasem's voice on the NBC promos of the era, but Dark was the man. He was the smoooooothest voice-over guy around.

'Mooners Monday #4: One of the best game show hosts ever: Herb Norris

Last week, we looked at The $99,000 Answer without covering one of the episode's best assets: Herb Norris, host of the titular game show, who was played by real-life emcee Jay Jackson. If what we see in this episode is indicative, Norris is one of the medium's all-time great hosts. He's witty, smooth, and quick on his feet, and he is great at keeping the show going.

At the beginning of this episode, we see the end of the show within a show. The guest is a bit dry. Here Norris is smooth and brings enough energy to balance the lackluster contestant.

Then Ralph comes out and is all "hamina hamina hamina" and nerves. He can barely stay upright, he's shaking so much. Norris instinctively sees this (OK, it doesn't take an empathy to pick up signals like bug-eyed panic and profuse sweating) and takes over, guiding Ralph through an entertaining bit of banter before the game begins. He even gets a big laugh by telling his story about the bus experience he had ("That was you?") and is a good sport about the resolution.

He even gets a big laugh by telling his story about the bus experience he had ("That was you?") and is a good sport about the resolution. I love his take:

Of course, the show runs out of time, and Ralph does his cramming so he can return next week, and now he is cocky. Norris adapts accordingly, indulging Ralph's boasts with good nature and steering the conversation appropriately. When Ralph bombs out and has to be dragged offstage, Norris maintains composure and never loses control of his stage.

Herb Norris is, simply put, an outstanding game show host.

Jackson told the authors of The Official Honeymooners Treasury that the experience was terrifying but also one he wouldn't trade for the world. He provides an amusing account of learning the series' rehearsal process, which consisted of a rudimentary session without Gleason to set up camera blocking, followed later by several minutes with the star in which he wouldn't even recite the actual dialogue!

Streaming Video Power Rankings: Week 51 (Special, hey, some of us had to work and didn't get to take advantage of the crummy weather edition)

1) PIX11: The 40th Anniversary Special was real, and it was spectacular. Tony Randall hosted a warm look back, focusing on the original programming of the New York station. Oh, yeah, and he did an embarrassing rap song near the end. Plus PIX posted an original newscast from the blizzard of 1993 (that was the good old days when they didn't name snowstorms). I'd love to see more of the big legacy stations from around the country make interesting Roku channels and use their archives like this.

2) Netflix: Just misses the top spot with an impressive list of things that interest me (and really, isn't that the bottom line): Lucha Underground, Mystery Science Theater, The BFG, Pete's Dragon, and Iron Fist. Plus, friends, I may have become a little misty-eyed when watching an episode of Friends this week. Even the disastrous reviews of the new Amy Schumer special (seriously, I think 5 sites ran articles just to point out how bad user reviews were) kind of make me curious about watching it.

But why is Netflix screwing around with its rating system? I don't recall anyone clamoring for this.

3) Hulu: It's been OJ and the Golden Girls this week for me. Hey, you don't suppose there could be a crossov--no, no. Forget I said anything. Also, Hulu got Everybody Wants Some, one of my most-wanted-to-see movies of last year. Now it becomes one of my most-want-to-see-but-keep-watching-old-sitcoms-instead movies of this year!

4) YouTube: True story: A spontaneous conversation about Conway Twitty breaks out (really, why shouldn't it?), I remember an old commercial of a duets album (with Loretta Lynn) I used to see all the time, BAM, it's on YouTube!

5) Warner Archive Instant: I didn't watch as much WAI as I intended this week, but the service added several seasons of The FBI this weekend.

6) Shout! Factory TV: I really enjoyed an awkward interview Dick Cavett conducted in the 90s with Ben "Hey Now" Kingsley. Cavett asks about a comment Kingsley had made about Gandhi years earlier when he was promoting the film, and Kingsley shuts him down, saying he ain't gonna talk about it now and the junket was years ago.

7) TuneIn: You know a good way to appreciate the stations on here? Try others. I just got DirectTV (formerly FIOS) and sampled some of the audio stations. For one thing, it's  irritating that many of them are part of some add-on package. More to the point, there just isn't the variety and depth you can find by looking around on Roku.

8) The CW: I'm tempted to include NBC, too, even though I didn't watch anything on it, just to spite CBS All Access for being such a ripoff (I may have also become a little misty-eyed when watching The Flash this week).

9) Pluto TV: This free, ad-supported aggregator of...free, ad-supported "channels" is making strides and adding new content, so it deserves a thumbs up this week. Sure, a lot of the content is ehhh, but it's a fun option if you're looking to just channel surf.

10) MLB.TV: Almost there! In the meantime, have you caught World Baseball Classic fever? Well, even if not, MLB.TV has the WBC, so that's some extra value this year.