Not making this Flintstones Wednesday yet, but...

Boomerang, the $5/month streaming service that keeps adding new cartoons when really all the subscribers want, I presume, is more of the old stuff, did add a batch of vintage Flintstones episodes last week. I won't complain, but this whole series has been complete for years. It might be more exciting, if less, well, GOOD, if Boomerang added some of the various 1970s and 1980s spinoffs.

Any-Yabba-dabba-doo-hoo, I like how Boomerang describes the show in the email blast it sent describing this development:

Yabba Dabba Doo! More episodes of The Flintstones are now streaming on Boomerang! Join Fred and Barney as they race back to Bedrock for family time, friendly banter, and life's adventures.

Say you have a friend who has been living under a bedrock for the last 100 years and yet is still sentient and capable of listening to you and watching television.  Is that how you would describe The Flintstones to that friend?

"friendly banter"?
"life's adventures"?
"family time"? OK, actually that one isn't too bad.

My favorite is "friendly banter"--like Fred and Barney are hosting a morning chat show.

'Mooners Monday: I have never been prouder of Ralph Kramden

Call Ralph Kramden a hopeless dreamer; a sucker; a fool, even. Call him a lout. Call him a moax.  At times he is all those things and more. In "Trapped," though, Ralph has maybe his finest moment in Honeymooners history.

The bad guys--George Petrie and Frank Marth as two robbing, possibly murderous thugs--have tied up Alice and Ed, and Petrie instructs Marth to give Ralph the works. The criminal leads Ralph into the bedroom at gunpoint, and we get one of the most harrowing moments in series history.

Well, first, we get Ralph trying to turn the tables on Petrie, only to have the fact that he's wielding a water pistol revealed. This leads to one of the better bits of physical comedy the show ever did:

Eventually Norton gets trapped, too. You know slowing the video down and doing these screencaps really shows how awesome Art Carney is.

It becomes almost uncomfortable when we see Alice and Ed tied up, with Alice in particular suffering with anguish as she thinks her hubby is getting pummeled. I mean, was there ever a more disturbing moment in 'Mooners annals?

Yet the tables turn in that never-seen bedroom, and it's Ralph who does the working over. What a great moment this is for our hero, who saves the day and possibly a few lives.

I was amazed the first time I saw this but pleasantly surprised. I don't think I've ever been prouder of Ralphie Boy, He's not just a "sweet kid," but he can handle himself in a scrape, too! Way to go, Ralph! This probably earned him at least 4 or 5 more failed get-rich schemes.

I will say that each time Ralph gives Ed the gun and lets him lead the crooks to the authorities, no matter how times I have seen it, I still think Norton is gonna screw it up and let them get away. Fortunately, that becomes the episode's final surprise!

Overall, there is a lot to enjoy in "Trapped," and it is one of my favorites. I like the odd moments, the unusual sense of peril, and the fact that Ralph gets such a shining moment at the end.

Streaming Video Power Rankings #97

The previous week, I had a lot of time to watch streaming video, but this week, not so much. How will it affect the rankings? Well, I guess I should really know already since I am the one doing them, huh? Here goes:

1) Netflix: I think the worst thing I can say about Netflix this week is that I'm really ticked that The Toys That Made Us A) won't return with its second half of the season for a few weeks and B) hasn't yet been given a second season.

Otherwise, Netflix is doing just enough to justify its price increase, and that's saying something coming from me. It is proud of its Oscar nominations (though no Best Picture nod yet), and it seems to be getting good pub generally, though it's not thrilling to see the first umpteen seasons of Family Guy are leaving in February. Its latest subscriber numbers bested projections.

In the meantime, this week we got a well-regarded second season of One Day at a Time, an Alex Gibney miniseries called Dirty Money that is surely going to depress us all by proving yet again how the system is rigged agin' us, another season of Puss in Boots (we need to make this a thing), and A Futile and Stupid Gesture about the history of National Lampoon. Personally, I'm still getting caught up on a lot of the originals...but I will make time as soon as more The Toys That Made Us appear.

2) Hulu: I am assuming those Family Guy episodes migrate here, like everything else Netflix is ditching (or is it the other way around). Ever since my kids discovered Fabulous Thundermans and Teen Titans Go! on here, it's almost like they forgot all about Netflix.

I only saw a few odds and ends on Hulu this week, but despite a few embarrassing outages last week, Hulu continues to have real momentum that will only increase now that broadcast TV shows return with new episodes.

3) YouTube: The Museum of Classic Chicago Television has really been bringing it lately, though it's a shame that it apparently abandoned its Roku channel. There are a lot of cool old national ads here in addition to the great Chi-centric vintage material.

4) Warner Archive Instant: Several people asked me where I was watching Eight Is Enough, and I told them WAI. Yep, I am doing more to promote the service than its own Twitter account (still dormant since October 22).

5) Boomerang: There is just something really cool about calling Huckleberry Hound "Huck Hound," though I don't really understand what it is.

6) The CW: What's going to happen to all the DC Comics animated shows, like Vixen, when that DC streaming service starts? Those are actually on CW Seed right now, but I didn't watch anything on CW Seed, so I'm asking here.

7) Roku Channel: I enjoyed A Very Brady Sequel here last week, and I must say the interface is decent. This channel should add watchlist and other features as it grows, and the commercial load is a bit obnoxious, but it's free, and Gary Cole is an unrecognized national treasure.

8) WWE Network: The Royal Rumble, an NXT Takeover and more this weekend, but the big deal for me is the story that is adding a ton of old-school Coliseum Video releases in a week and a half or so. I'm so happy about that, I'm not even going to complain about the fact that they announced that at launch but it has taken years to deliver it.

9) Amazon Prime: Not so much Oscar success as it had last year, and in fact, Amazon may be wishing Manchester by the Sea star Casey Affleck would just go away (as he is as it relates to this year's ceremony). Yet I still enjoy finding bizarre content on here, and the Shaw Brothers martial arts catalog looks pretty good on Prime.

10) Stadium: New free (though every time it loads, it asks me if I want to log in) sports channel with some odd content, like Frisbee (excuse me, Ultimate Disc) competitions and Mountain West conference volleyball. It's hard to see what this is all about, and I don't know what the paid site gets you, but it's sports, and it's free. I think. Note: The main Stadium channel is also available, more easily accessible in fact, on Pluto TV.

Half-Assed Gourmet: Little Caesar's has a cheap pizza that is slightly less cheap than its regular pizza

Can you imagine walking into your local Little Caesar's franchise, striding to the counter, and declaring, "I'd like your SECOND-CHEAPEST pizza, my good man"? Well, you may want to do that with pride if you are interested in the new More! More! More! $6 pizza, a pie 20% more expensive than its standard "Hot and Ready" pizza but...well, how much better IS it?

I can't tell you if it's 20% better or not because I haven't had the hot ready in so long. I had the extremely unhealthy deep dish pizzas, including that bacon-wrapped one, a monstrosity that took months off my life (I regret nothing, by the way), and usually avoided El Cheapo. My memory is that El Cheapo is actually Pretty Bueno, though, especially if you get one hot and ready.

They MUST want you to buy the $6 one, right? I guess the profit margin must be better on that even if there really IS more pepperoni and more cheese and more--Hey, what am I doing talking like an economist when the topic is a cheap-ass pizza?

I mean, cheap is cheap, but, man, I would feel like a SUCKER going in there and getting that $5 pizza now. At the least, I would feel like even more of a cheapskate than I know I am--and that they know I am by virtue of the fact that I am in Little Ceasar's. What am I gonna do with that extra buck? buy breadsticks? No. Buy wings? No. Buy Italian Cheesy bread? No. All that stuff costs way more than a dollar. I might as well SPLURGE and get the $6 pizza.

In fact, on my way out after buying it, I almost wished for some poor soul to walk out with a $5 pizza so I could feel superior. "I may not be living like a Rockefeller, but I was able to spare the extra buck and upgrade my pizza!"

So I guess I should give a review of the product, huh? Well, pizza is pizza. Pizza is good. This $6 pizza is good. I really don't know if it's 20% better than the regular one, but it does seem to have a lot more pepperoni and maybe even a little more OOMPH. I would recommend you buy the $6 one but also get the $5 one, and if you like the $6 one better, throw the rest of the $5 one at the next person who asks why you would want to get either instead of "buying REAL pizza."

We'll have a...Well, we'll have a time of it, I'll tell you that

I do not remember the incarnation of The Flintstones known as The Flintstone Funnies, but I am pretty sure I was watching it at least some Saturday mornings.

As The Flinstones "franchise" aged, it was like networks felt more obliged to remind everyone that it was funny. "The Flintstones Comedy Hour," "Flintstone Funnies..." What, did kids think it was a documentary?  To paraphrase Bono, "The Flintstone I believe in isn't short on laughs, mister."

What strikes me about this is the change in the lyrics. We will no longer have a GAY old time with the 'Stones. We'll have a GREAT old time.

Hmm...did Anita Bryant force the Flintstones to remove the "gay" reference? Was the possibility for titters and giggles so great in 1982 that--Wait, I was a kid in 1982. Yeah, it's probably for the best that they changed the theme song.

As we continue our look at "Trapped," Ralph has witnessed a couple of murderous bank robbers and is a little jittery:

"Now, look. When I tell you, I don't want you to get nervous, because there's nothing to get nervous about."

'There's a couple of guys out after me. They're gonna kill me." I love the way he says that.

They are after him, and sure enough, as Ralph tries to make his way to the police to tell them he's an eyewitness, the hoods enter the apartment. It's my two favorite Gleason Players, Frank Marth (with a sweet prosthetic nose) and George Petrie.

I never really noticed that nose before, and now I can't stop staring at it. I guess they wanted a way to distinguish Marth from all the times he played cops on the series.

The crooks hold the household hostage, but we also get a visit from one of Gotham's finest, played by stalwart TV lawman Ken Lynch. You gotta appreciate it when the cop talks and looks tougher than the criminals.

Next time, we'll look at what may be Ralph's finest moment ever as we conclude "Trapped."