The Wonderful World of TCM: Accidents Will Happen (1938)

In honor of TCM's selection of Ronald Reagan as Star of the Month for March, I asked another 1980s Geopolitical Icon to be our Special Guest Blogger and discuss the film "Accidents Will Happen." Ladies and comrades, I give you...Yakov Smirnoff!

Hello, America! I am very flattered Rick chose me to write about Ronald Reagan. He told me that other blogger and friend of Cultureshark Ivan of Thrilling Days of Yesteryear blogged about Mr. Reagan, too. Ivan is great name. I have about 20 close comrades named Ivan. Of course, 17 of them have been exiled to Siberia. But here I can write whatever I want! What a country!

I saw movie on TCM, which Rick assures me is not name of super missile pointed at Vladivostok, but wonderful TV channel that shows movies in black and white because it wants to. In Russia, channels show black and white because 5% of households and collective farms have color TV. Plus all but 5 colors are outlawed.

Name of movie I watched is "Accidents Will Happen." This remind me of great joke told by Russian TV personality, Carnacov the Magnificent. It go something like this:

Answer: Accidents will happen.

Got that? Accidents will happen.

Question: What did safety chief on duty at Chernobyl say when Politburo interrogated him?

Get the joke? Too soon? Is this thing on? In Russia, microphone shut off when electricity rationing happens every evening. In America, microphone on no matter how quiet people are or how loud they are. What a country!

Anyway, "Accidents Will Happen" is fascinating movie starring your President Reagan. In this film, Mr. Reagan is investigator, but he doesn't use wiretaps or truth serums. He has pretty American wife and another pretty American lady friend who likes him. This is the difference between my country and your country. Brezhnev's woman has face like relief map of Caucasus. Reagan has pretty woman all over him. What a country!

President Reagan is very young in this movie. In Russia, leaders are never young. They are born with receding hairline, ulcer, and slight touch of gout.

Anyway, in film, President Reagan investigates criminals who make phony car accidents to collect insurance money. In Russia, this would never happen. We don't have insurance, and "accidents" are what happen to people who criticize government in public. Their families don't get insurance, but they get 50 rubles and letter signed by secretary of Deputy Commissioner of Public Safety.

I liked this movie very much. It was fun, exciting, and it was much, much shorter than last movie I saw in Russia. That was 17-part documentary--"History of Grain."

Thank you very much for reading and for not reporting me. This will be largest audience I ever had for something I wrote, as Rick tells me as many as 5 citizens read this every day! What a country!