This Week in DVD and Instant Watching

Admission: There's supposed to be some business about Tina Fey meeting a student who may be the child she put up for adoption, but according to the commercials I saw, the real story is Tina Fey and Paul Rudd meet cute and (I assume) hook up, thereby making the head of every "Entertainment Weekly" staffer explode.

Dead Man Down: I can't keep them straight: Is this one of the Colin Farrell takes a character role in a cool indie movie movies or one of the Colin Farrell tries to be a movie star in a colossal failure movies?

Spring Breakers: 15 years ago, I might have wanted to rent this movie to be disappointed at the lack of nudity among the stars. Now I see this premise and this cast, and I have no desire to see it for any reason. And, folks, that makes me feel old.

Tyler Perry's Temptation: I have no desire to see this for any reason. And, folks, that makes me feel white.

The Host: Alien invaders take over humans' minds "while their bodies remain intact." Have the aliens been to a Wal-Mart lately? There aren't as many human bodies worth preserving intact as there used to be.

Would You Rather: What's next? "I Never"? "Beer Pong"? "Post Office"? (OK, it's been a while since I've played a non-board party game)

Unforgettable: Season 1: If CBS was going to release this, you'd think it would have done so by now. There are now as many full season sets of "Unforgettable" as there are of "Sgt. Bilko." Wait, I just remembered (notice how scrupulous I have been about avoiding a "forgettable" joke?) this is coming back this summer, hence this DVD release. Now, as to why "Unfiorgettable" is coming back...you got me. I guess CBS just wants to be in the Marilu Henner business.

Quincy: Season 6: More of the Q-man is always welcome. This season features the episode in which Quincy gets indignant and rails at the system. What? OK, more specifically, Quincy investigates a plane crash, goes on TV to rip a faddish diet book, and helps "unravel" a Nazi plot to smuggle loot inside an Egyptian mummy. Forget my pun and just enjoy the fact that there's a mummy episode.

Bonanza: Season 6: Now, finally, the episodes that have run thousands of times on TV Land can be yours.

How the West Was Won: Season 1: Expansionist aggression? Fractured native populations? Veteran leadership from Tim Duncan and Tony Parker? Regardless of how it was won, this is an interesting release for Western fans.

Dynasty: Season 7: "Conveniently" available in split season form for fans who would rather be gouged on the individual volumes at their leisure than be gouged all at once for the whole set.

And in Instant Watching....

Barry Levinson's The Bay is an ecological horror tale of residents of a Maryland town hosting deadly parasites (but do their bodies remain intact?) Worst of all, they lose all their knowledge of Baltimore Colts trivia.

The Expendables 2:  It's a good thing there's no PED testing in Hollywood.I'll check this cheesy all-star action extravaganza despite the franchise's continued inexplicable snubbing of Michael Dudikoff.

13 Going on 30 is not a terrible nor a great film, it's an innocuous rom-com with Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner that is nearly 10 years old. I highlight it because it's been listed as a "hot" queue add all week on instantwatcher , further proof of how eager Netflix customers are for mainstream theatrical movies.

And Chris O'Dowd's (The IT Crowd--which is available on Netflix and Hulu--Family Tree, which is on HBO, so fat chance of it arriving on Netflix and Hulu) Irish sitcom Moone Boy, in which he plays the imaginary friend of a young boy, debuts this week on Hulu.

Oh, and the latest Netflix Original, Orange is the New Black, is now available, and while "from the creator of Weeds" doesn't make me want to see it, the rapturous early reviews do ignite some interest in this prison dramedy. I might write more about this next week, but, jeez, I'm still working my way through the other Netflix Originals.