Half-Assed Gourmet: Arby's Roast Burger

The other day, I was oot and aboot, as our Canadian friends might say (though I wasn't in Canada), and I needed some food, fast. So I went to Arby's for some fast food.

I wish I could say, "Been to one Arby's, you been to 'em all," but in my experience, there's a loooooot of variability in this chain. My last visit was disappointing, but I gave it another shot (at a different location) because 1) when Arby's is good, it's very good, and 2) I wanted to try the new Roast Burger.

I knew nothing about the Roast Burger except that it looked good in the sign on the window. I wanted to make sure there was no funky kind of Special Sauce on the sandwich, so I had this conversation with the woman behind the counter.

ME: "Is there any kind of sauce on that Roast Burger?"
HER: Yes.

At this point, I paused, expecting she would be a little more specific. Well, to be fair, I asked a Yes/No question, and that's the kind of answer I got.

ME: Uh...what KIND of sauce?
HER: Like on a burger. It's seasoning, like a burger.

Then she kind of glanced up at the big Roast Burger poster, like that photo would tell me everything I needed to know.

At THIS point, I felt I knew less than when I started. But she walked over towards the food area, and I thought she was going to get some packet of sauce or seasoning and show me what it was. Turned out, she was only getting a receipt from a previous order. She went back to the register and looked at me expectantly.

Well, Mama Shark didn't raise no coward, so I risked the presence of weirdo special sauce, bizarre seasoning, or worst of all mayonaisse, and ordered a bacon and cheddar Roast Burger.

It was OK, but not great. You know what it tasted like? A roast beef sandwich. It was a roast beef sandwich with a big bun, lettuce, some big tomatoes, and a few big onions. Since I picked the tomatoes and onions off, I might as well have just bought a roast beef sandwich...especially since that's basically what I got.

And by the way, the seasoning on that thing must have been real subtle, because I sure as heck didn't taste it. Nor did I taste any kind of sauce. So the Roast Burger remains a mystery to me, even after I asked about it, ordered it, and ate it.

What's not a mystery is that I should have just gone to McDonald's.