Panel Discussion: Aquaman may be Aqua, but he's still a typical man

(Sorry for the poor scan--it's tough to scan these darned Showcase books without destroying the binding.)

Anyone want to volunteer to step up and tell Aquaman how WRONG his comment is?

Anyone? Green Arrow, you're a recent member, so maybe you don't want to rock the boat. Snapper Carr, you're a teen, and you probably don't know better, daddy-o. Martian Manhunter, you're Martian, so you're excused.

Flash? Green Lantern? Anyone?

This panel occurs in "Justice League of America #9." Spoiler Alert: No one tells Aquaman he could have phrased that a little better, or not at all. But in all fairness, at least everyone pitches in to help in the next panel:

The Wonderful World of TCM: Accidents Will Happen (1938)

In honor of TCM's selection of Ronald Reagan as Star of the Month for March, I asked another 1980s Geopolitical Icon to be our Special Guest Blogger and discuss the film "Accidents Will Happen." Ladies and comrades, I give you...Yakov Smirnoff!

Hello, America! I am very flattered Rick chose me to write about Ronald Reagan. He told me that other blogger and friend of Cultureshark Ivan of Thrilling Days of Yesteryear blogged about Mr. Reagan, too. Ivan is great name. I have about 20 close comrades named Ivan. Of course, 17 of them have been exiled to Siberia. But here I can write whatever I want! What a country!

I saw movie on TCM, which Rick assures me is not name of super missile pointed at Vladivostok, but wonderful TV channel that shows movies in black and white because it wants to. In Russia, channels show black and white because 5% of households and collective farms have color TV. Plus all but 5 colors are outlawed.

Name of movie I watched is "Accidents Will Happen." This remind me of great joke told by Russian TV personality, Carnacov the Magnificent. It go something like this:

Answer: Accidents will happen.

Got that? Accidents will happen.

Question: What did safety chief on duty at Chernobyl say when Politburo interrogated him?

Get the joke? Too soon? Is this thing on? In Russia, microphone shut off when electricity rationing happens every evening. In America, microphone on no matter how quiet people are or how loud they are. What a country!

Anyway, "Accidents Will Happen" is fascinating movie starring your President Reagan. In this film, Mr. Reagan is investigator, but he doesn't use wiretaps or truth serums. He has pretty American wife and another pretty American lady friend who likes him. This is the difference between my country and your country. Brezhnev's woman has face like relief map of Caucasus. Reagan has pretty woman all over him. What a country!

President Reagan is very young in this movie. In Russia, leaders are never young. They are born with receding hairline, ulcer, and slight touch of gout.

Anyway, in film, President Reagan investigates criminals who make phony car accidents to collect insurance money. In Russia, this would never happen. We don't have insurance, and "accidents" are what happen to people who criticize government in public. Their families don't get insurance, but they get 50 rubles and letter signed by secretary of Deputy Commissioner of Public Safety.

I liked this movie very much. It was fun, exciting, and it was much, much shorter than last movie I saw in Russia. That was 17-part documentary--"History of Grain."

Thank you very much for reading and for not reporting me. This will be largest audience I ever had for something I wrote, as Rick tells me as many as 5 citizens read this every day! What a country!

Brooks on Books: The Soul of Baseball by Joe Posnanski

Anyone not charmed by Buck O'Neil in Ken Burns' "Baseball" deserves 10 years in Leavenworth, or maybe 11 years in Twelveworth. The former Negro Leagues player and manager, major league coach, scout, and longtime ambassador for the game comes across even better in this amazing book.

I'm going to celebrate the new season with a series of posts about baseball books I've read over the last year or so, and there's no better way to kick it off than by talking about Joe Posnanski's account of a road trip he took with Buck O'Neil as the legend promoted the Negro League Baseball Museum in particular, but also the Negro Leagues and baseball itself in general. I'm not exaggerating when I say this one will not just excite you about the return of the game, it won't just make you happy to be a fan, but it will make you happy to be alive. If I phrase that in a corny manner, don't worry, the book is sincere and heartfelt but never corny.

In fact, Posnanski doesn't need to force sentiment or positivity into his text; merely by showcasing the words of Buck O'Neil and relating his stories--the ones he tells about his past as well as the new ones that are formed during the road trip--he produces an naturally engaging read. But don't let me give you the impression this is just a transcription job. No, Posnanski has a great eye for detail and an ear for dialogue. He knows when to inject himself into the narrative and acknowledge his presence and when to back off and let it be Buck's story. The one gimmick he utilizes is an effective one: Describing Buck's words as often lyrical, occasionally, he'll directly quote O'Neil by printing his words in italics, set off from the regular test like lines in a poem or song. Trust me, it works, partly because the author's unerring instincts keep him from overdoing it.

A lot happens in this book, and at the same time, not much happens. There are ballparks, radio shows, and other public places to visit, and it's interesting to read about how people react to Buck and how he conducts his informal goodwill tour. But the soul of the book, if you will, are the conversations that take place during those appearances, the discussions he has with fans, officials, and the author. It's got to be impossible to put down this book and not feel some admiration at an elderly man who was locked out of the major leagues (as a player) by racism and was not voted into the Hall of Fame while he was alive, yet refuses to show bitterness or to promote himself. His interest is promoting baseball, promoting the Negro Leagues, and treating his fans with respect and kindness.

Buck wasn't a saint, and Posnanski captures the rascal side of O'Neil as well. For example, he writes that in all their travels, the only time he regularly sees Buck act "old" is when it's time to board an airplane, and he takes full advantage of his age to get seating priority. The guy respected the game and the people around him, but he had fun, too. That's really what this book is about: Enjoying baseball and enjoying life. It's really an inspiration and a great read to get you pumped up for Opening Day.

Journey into DVD: Quick first impression of Room 222

There is nothing bad per se about Shout Factory's new "Room 222" set except maybe the disappointing video and audio quality. The bad thing for me is that I missed out on that super-cheap pre-order price Amazon offered for a while. I rented disc 1 from Netflix this week, not having seen the show in a looooong time and having few memories of the reruns. I look forward to reading the thoughts of more learned individuals, but so far, this one really impresses me.

By the end of the first episode, I cared for the characters, was into the story, and just generally felt good about life in general. Aspects of "Room 222" may seem dated today--the first episode has a lot of that well-meaning liberal (with a small "l") humor of white people awkwardly trying to prove to noble black people how tolerant of black people they are--but I find its charm and gentle humor refreshing. It lacks what just about any sitcom today must have to get on the air: Edge.

"Room 222" deals with issues, but it deals with them in a respectful, earnest manner. The jokes, even the ones that mock educational conventions and institutions, are more sincere than cutting, as everyone's heart is in the right place.

If this sounds boring, well, I guess you don't like a lot of old TV. There's a place for sarcasm, snark, and shock, but "Room 222" is a welcome throwback, and if anyone wants to complain that the show is a little high-minded or it doesn't reflect "reality," well, fine. All I know is I find this version of the late sixties a pleasant one to experience, and I hope Shout brings more seasons to video. I can live with the subpar prints as long as they're uncut episodes.

Why is Academy-Award-nominated Shirley Booth playing a zany, comic character on television?

Because she's having a ball doing it, that's why.

Don't believe me?


Today is Shirley Booth Friday. Thus sayeth Cultureshark. Enjoy!

Cultureshark Recommends (Stuff I Like)

My last several posts have been rather on the negative side, so today I'm going 100% positive and touting some things I like in the world of pop culture right now:

*Christian Slater in "He Was a Quiet Man": This little-seen film played in heavy rotation on the Showtime networks recently. It's an intriguing sleeper that takes you into the mind of a troubled loner (Slater) who harbors fantasies of slaughtering his co-workers. Then one day--well, even though it occurs early in the movie, I don't want to give it away.

Slater is excellent here. It's not just the gimmick of the receding hair and the glasses, but a true performance as Slater inhabits this lonely, beaten-down soul. I was really impressed by his work in carrying this entertaining little film, which also features Elisha Cuthbert (who has probably never been better) and John "Project Greenlight" Gulager (who provides extra offbeat charm).

*The Fleet Foxes' self-titled album: If you like folkish hippie rock with rich, layered harmonies, give this one a shot. I don't claim to listen to even a fraction of what's out there in music today, but though this one certainly is reminiscent of older artists, it feels fresh _now_ and is different than anything I've heard lately. It's a good change-of-pace album, though I wouldn't want to listen it repeatedly in a short time span. And it sure isn't the most macho thing to listen to in your car with the top down.

*New season of "Breaking Bad": What a fool I was to dismiss Bryan Cranston just because I thought "Malcom in the Middle" was weak. He's turning out awesome performances each and every week on this gripping AMC show. It may be a virtue of the short cable series that it can afford to plow through plot quicker than a network effort with a larger run. One great thing about "Breaking Bad" is that when you think of a scenario that "must" happen sooner or later, it often happens sooner. The creative team doesn't draw it out. Yet the show doesn't neglect character even as it advances plot. I'd like to see "Breaking Bad" get a little more of the pub it deserves.

*"Incognito": Ed Brubaker's new comic about a super villain in the witness protection program is off to a great start. I think the only remotely negative thing I could say about it is he's taking a break from "Criminal" to do it...but this is like an alternate take on "Criminal" and just as cool. So I won't say it.

"Honeymooners Lost Episodes" on WGN: Sure, I'd love to see them uncut and with less commercials, but I love that these are on in prime time on a high-profile national cable outlet. It's rare to see black and white shows in that kind of slot, period, let alone rough-looking kinescopes like these. The channel is currently showing the longer episodes Sundays at 9:00 PM, and if you only watch the Classic 39, you're really missing out on some hilarious 'Mooners action.

*This Aqua Velva commercial featuring a singing Pete Rose and Vic Tayback:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eAs7DM6u_Q

On the Radio: A forgotten gem?

I grow increasingly disappointed each week with the True Oldies Channel's slow change from a heavy concentration on 1950s and 1960s music towards something that features a lot more classic rock staples. Oh, there are still the Dion hits and the Motown faves, but there's a lot more Eagles and Fleetwood Mac and that sort of thing now.

Still, I was excited to be listening to the radio during "drive time," when I'm normally working, and hear a "forgotten gem" segment. What would it be? The feature got a big build-up, complete with an ad/intro from Ronnie Mervis from the Mervis Importers commercials so ubiquitous in the DC area.

Then the jock took the microphone and continued the build, setting up the song with some info. It didn't take me long to realize this song would be neither forgotten nor much of a gem. I have no real problem with The James Gang's "Walk Away," but how can we forget it when radio never stops playing it?

I really should not have been surprised the segment turned out like that, but the fact is, during the morning/early afternoon hours, you DO hear some legitimate radio rarities. I thought I was in for a treat, but this bogus "forgotten gem" segment is another indication of the incredible shrinking playlist of all terrestrial radio,

Warner Archives

3 things I like about the new Warner Archives program that has the Internet buzzing:

1) Selection: If just about everything is going to available through this program eventually, that's obviously great news. The fact is, I'm happy just watching a lot of old movies on TCM. But many don't have DVD recorders or just like owning copies of their favorite films, and plus Turner Classic Movies, great as it is, doesn't show everything from the vaults--not by a long shot.

2) Emphasis on classics: A cool aspect of this story is it's giving classic movies (read: OLD movies) a nice wave of pub. News outlets are emphasizing the amount of stuff that isn't on video, which is a good reminder for people that groan that "EVERYTHING must be on DVD by NOW." At a time when places like Best Buy aren't expending much effort on showcasing vintage films, it's nice to see an effort made to provide the material and keep it alive.

3) Warners is doing it: If any big studio is gonna do this kind of DVD-on-demand thing and start a precedent or two, I'm sure glad it's WB. There are gonna be bumps in the road for a while, but the company, George Feltenstein in particular, have a lot of great ideas here: Not putting junky transfers out, giving consumers a chance to watch clips and preview the titles, etc. I believe this program will be carried out with class and respect for the fans. Many people might disagree when these movies start coming out on retail releases at a lower price point, but...

3 things I don't like about this:

1) The price point: 20 bucks is way too high for me, especially for movies I haven't seen. Call me spoiled, but I'm used to getting DVDs with bonuses, DVDs on pressed (not burned) discs, for much less money. I've already cut back on what I spend on movie DVDs (I prefer TV box sets and movie box sets that offer good overall value), and I can't afford shelling out bucks for even the cool old titles that will be on the way with this initiative.

2) Bye bye, box sets?: Speaking of those box sets, Warners claims this is not replacing its retail release programs. But in the first assortment of available titles, I see some Cary Grant movies. In a chat with HTF members last night, studio reps said there were no plans for another Gangsters set, and that we should look for Bogart, Robinson, Cagney, and Raft in the Archives. Well...yay. But I'd rather see those movies for less than 20 bucks a pop. I'd really rather see them in their own dedicated box sets.

The Warner Archives is a great idea if it supplements and expands on the conventional DVD releases, but not if it replaces. Yes, lots of discs are still planned for retail this year, including a fifth Noir set. But looking at that chat, I can't help but be discouraged by all the "Look for __ in the Archives" answers in response to questions about stars and titles. Hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised by announcements of upcoming retail releases.

What does this say about the hobby of collecting movies on DVD? Maybe I was a fool to even dream of an affordable mass-market Wallace Beery Collection. But at the risk of sounding pessimistic, if Warners can't make Humphrey Bogart or Cary Grant or even John Garfield (relegated to the Archives according to the chat) work on "regular" DVD, where are we with DVD?

3) No rentals?: OK, here's where my true cheapo nature comes out. I already complained about the 20 bucks a pop, but I must admit I really like to rent a lot of movies, not buy them. It doesn't seem that Netflix will be an outlet for these movies. It's been a nice luxury picking and choosing the WB titles I want to own while merely "borrowing" the others, sometimes using the rental process to sample things I might buy later (though I'll level with you; if there's a legit chance I might buy something, I usually won' t bother renting it at all).

Two really bad ideas

Bad Idea #1: Sci Fi Channel changes its name to SyFy.

--Need I explain why this is a bad idea? Brooks' Law: It's never a good idea to rebrand yourself with a spelling that, at first glance, just looks, well, stoopid.

I've read several justifications for this move, but when I first saw the headline announcing the rebranding, I thought, "Some idiot thinks this is gonna make them all KEWL or something."

Sure enough, check out this quote from the article I link to:

“When we tested this new name, the thing that we got back from our 18-to-34 techno-savvy crowd, which is quite a lot of our audience, is actually this is how you’d text it,” Mr. Howe said. “It made us feel much cooler, much more cutting-edge, much more hip, which was kind of bang-on what we wanted to achieve communication-wise.”

Brooks' Law: When you have to tell people you're gonna be cool and hip...you're not cool and hip.

Bad Idea #2: Sony repackages a bunch of season 1 DVD sets gathering dust in the warehouse and adds exclusive bonus content in a megaexpensive "Norman Lear Collection."

--Of course this screws everyone who bought the sets already and will presumably have to rebuy them to get the bonus content. In addition, I saw it suggested at the Home Theater Forum that the "Maude" extras were already made and just left off the Season 1 set--which, ohbytheway is the only one Sony bothered to release so far.

Besides that, this isn't even a good price. MSRP of 160 bucks for this? Outrageous. And don't bother telling me, "Nobody sells it for the MSRP; most places will sell it for a lot less." I hate that rationalization for overpriced merchandise. If the MSRP were lower, those places would sell it for even less.

Of course, the point is moot in this case because this is a lame way to clear out inventory. There is no reason for Sony, which has abandoned more series than I can count without taking off my shoes, to mess around with this unless Norman Lear marched into corporate HQ and demanded it. Now, a best-of set--that might make sense. But all first seasons? Lazy. And a really bad idea.

Brooks on Books: Richard Roeper's movie list book

Yesterday, I praised a list book about D.C. sports, a book that gives great value to its readers, a work that adds insight and analysis to its entries while packing enough lists into its pages to satisfy its readers.

Richard Roeper's "10 Sure Signs a Movie Character Is Doomed & Other Surprising Movie Lists," unfortunately, is not such a book. I have nothing against the guy, I didn't resent his landing the co-host chair with Roger Ebert on his TV show, and I even bought a previous Roeper book, "Hollywood Urban Legends." But, boy, does he phone this one in. I don't know if he rushed it out to fulfill a contract or just didn't put the effort in, but this slim book, while entertaining enough if you get it from the library (as I did), is a bit of a ripoff at full price.

Roeper's format is: Provide a full page with the name of a list in really big type. On the next page, present a list of, say, "10 documentaries that are better than most feature films," or "20 movie characters men just can't resist doing," usually no more than a few pages long. Insert a blank page after each list. Start over again with the name of the next list on its own page. There's a lot of BS here to pad the page count, and it makes this an even breezier read than it ought to be, especially considering it's not big enough to at least provide a ton of lists. After the list of male imitations, he presents a list women can't resist, but turn the page, and aha, women don't do imitations. So he uses up several pages on a gag that could have been combined with the previous list.

So the book falls short on quantity, but what about quality? Well, I believe that this kind of work should either pack the entries with fun facts or clever writing and analysis, or the lists themselves should be so inherently amusing or entertaining they don't require annotation. Roeper doesn't provide enough of either approach. Compiling a list of "Reasons I won't ever attend a Freddie Prinze Jr. film festival," then naming a bunch of his crappy movies, is funny. But that's all there is. You can't get away with too many of those unless the idea itself is a little sharper or you give some good smart-ass commentary for each movie.

Even the more conventional lists often lack analysis. Take Roeper's picks for great movies that should be on the AFI 100. OK, it's interesting to see your opinion, but why should they be on there? What makes them so great? They're not obscure films, but you're a movie critic, and you should be able (and willing) to say something about them. He gives no commentary for his "loved by me, panned by critics" and vice versa lists.

The most amusing lists in the book are perhaps the least original. There are a bunch of entries which poke fun at movie cliches, like, "5 things that will happen in a movie home at the start of the day" (Sample entry: "The newspaper never makes it to the front stoop. It usually gets tossed into the bushes, or on the lawn just as the automatic sprinkler goes on, or even onto the roof.").

I laughed out loud several times during these parts, but I felt some deja vu, as other sources (like Roger Ebert's Movie Answer Man) cover this ground. Still, at least Roeper is providing a point of view and some entertaining info here. Maybe expanding this sort of thing would make for a better book.

Richard Roeper's a sharp guy with opinions and a sense of humor, and regardless of what you think of him as a film critic, he's experienced enough to do better than this.

Vault of Coolness: C&W=Country and...Wrestling?

I love random or incongruous giveaways and premiums, and this offer(from the same 1971 "Wrestling Revue" I showed a few weekends ago) fits the bill. Take a closer look at option number two.

Buy two years of a rasslin' mag, get a country album. Actually, this seems like a pretty good deal, and I'm not one to complain about the likes of Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline. But especially considering the utter lack of any music-related content in the rest of this issue, I wonder if this offer is more about the assumptions of the publisher than any kind of organic link between C&W and professional wrestling.

Brooks on Books: The Great Book of Washington, D.C. Sports Lists

List books may look easy to write, but they don't always work. This is an example of a list book done right. D.C.-area radio personality Andy Pollin and print journalist Leonard Shapiro, along with contributions from fellow media and sports personalities, deliver a fun assortment of opinions and facts. Unlike some list books, including one I'll get in a separate post, this one delivers good value for the money.

Now, if you're not from the D.C. area, or if you don't follow its teams and athletes, this might not be worth it for you. It is a pretty specific focus, after all, and furthermore, there's a lot of Redskins stuff (no surprise given their dominance of the market) and a lot of Washington media stuff (no surprise given the authors' prominence in local media). Furthermore, if you don't like the idea of a collection of lists like, "Worst Redskins First-Round Draft Picks" or "10 Grand Old But Not-Forgotten Sports Venues," each no more than a few pages in length, with bite-sized annotations for each item and some trivia and other tidbits sprinkled throughout, well, then this ain't your thang.

Me, I've enjoyed list books ever since I was a wee lad and I read one called...oh, what was it? Oh, yeah, "The Book of Lists." I've lived in the D.C. area long enough (and followed its teams longer), to enjoy the narrow focus. And I enjoy sports media stuff in general, and since much of this book covers the time before I arrived, I learned a lot about guys like Glenn Brenner and Warner Wolf.

And while I would have liked to have seen more lists on, say, baseball, considering the market didn't have it for decades (not counting the Orioles), it's understandable. But you still get Tom Boswell's favorite Senators, for example. Hockey fans will be disappointed at the lack of Capitals material, but there are lists devoted to Maryland basketball, Georgetown basketball, the Wizards/Bullets, pro golf, high school sports, and even some out-there entries like radio personality Al Galdi's list of the best pro wrestling pay-per-view events held in the region.

The fun of a book like this isn't necessarily finding out what the authors think is the best Redskins comeback or who the most prominent D.C. tennis players are. It's in starting some arguments and enjoying the information presented with those lists. Pollin and Shapiro show enough reverence for the local institutions without taking them (or this book) too seriously. It's a book written for fans by guys who are able to project a sense of fandom themselves. "The Great Book of Washington, D.C. Sports Lists" is an addictive, fun book with a great blend of whimsical and informative entries.

This Week in DVD

Twilight: I couldn't avoid the hype for this one when it opened in theaters, and I can't avoid the hype accompanying its impending DVD release. After all, I did go to the mall two weekends in a row. But my daughter is about to turn 1, and I guess a "Twilight" invasion of my house is inevitable. I mean, I'm sure now that she's older, it's only a matter of time before she asks for a vampire theme party, to say nothing of the t-shirts, stickers, and notebooks. Ah, they grow up so fast.

Mr. Belvedere Season 1: In a perfect world, all the girls would be going wild for Christopher Hewett as the irrepressible Mr. Belvedere. Tragically, Hewett is no longer with us and unable to enjoy the hysteria surrounding his own DVD spotlight.

Barney Miller Season 3: This series resumes after Sony took several decades off. The hash brownies episode is probably the most famous one on here, if not the most famous of the entire run; WGN America chose it as one of the 4 it spotlighted in a retro week mini-marathon last year.
I remember an AP History class in high school. The last day, our teacher abandoned the lecture format and showed an episode of "Barney Miller." I was cool enough to appreciate that but not cool enough to not be in class on the last day of school.

The Punisher: War Zone: I've investigated it, and there's no truth to the rumor that Cannon Pictures tried in the eighties to get a Punisher movie made starring Christopher Hewett. With that out of the way, we can talk about this kind of sequel not to the 1989 Dolph Lundgren version, but the 2004 Thomas Jane installment.

Uh...you know what? I know very little about it. Amuse yourself with this memory of "Mr. Belvedere." Remember the annoying little kid that was Belvedere's foil? I think Belvy used to always say, "WESLEY, you insufferable little twit," or something like that. Anyway, the kid's name was Brice Beckham, and one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life--perhaps this exposes it for the uneventful life it's been--is when I saw a pin-up of him in one of my younger sisters' teen magazines. It was something like "Bop." Beckham was standing with his fists on his hips wearing--so help me--a wife beater and jeans. Even my sisters found this hilarious. Maybe ESPECIALLY my sisters found this hilarious. BRICE BECKHAM?

That's a goofy anecdote, I grant you, but it's got to be better than "Punisher: War Zone."

The Three Stooges Volume 5: At this point, it's an insult to Sony to express shock that this series continues so quickly and with such good results. So I won't do it.

5Q Movie Review: Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Q: This has to be Kevin Smith's raunchiest movie yet, right? Just how "porno" is it?
A: Actually, though there is nudity, there isn't as much of it as you might expect, and the most important sex scene in the movie is "tastefully done." There is of course lots of hardcore dialogue, but nothing any more shocking than, say, what's in the "Clerks" flicks.

Q: Is there anything in this movie to appeal to someone who's not a fan of Kevin Smith movies?
A: In some ways, this is his tightest, most "mainstream" movie yet. As in "Jersey Girl," there's a strong sentimentality and a fairly conventional relationship story...except the couple makes a porno. There's a great concept in here: Best friends make an adult film and explore their own sexual feelings towards each other. What happens? How do they feel about it? Unfortunately, these issues are rushed and that story doesn't really go anywhere apart from the predictable conflict that puts them apart. So the relationship stuff that might appeal to non-Smith fans, though it has its moments, falls short.

Surprisingly, the humor isn't quite on the mark, either. It's as if the shock of making a porno is supposed to be enough to carry the comedy, but in 2008/2009, it's not such a big deal. An extended gag about coming up with adult titles of popular movies feels 15 years old. There is some funny stuff here, but not as much as you'd expect--OK, not as much as _I_ expected.

Overall, it's a solid movie, but if you don't like Kevin Smith, this won't win you over.

Q: How does the casting--a mix of new faces and familiar Smith players--work?
A: Quite well, actually. Stars Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks share a decent chemistry that isn't fully utilized, but Rogen is a natural for Smith's dialogue, and Banks plays her part well. The gals in Smith's films sometimes don't seem to fit, but this lead actress blends in without a hitch.

Jason Mewes and Jeff Anderson are reliable laugh getters and make the fans happy.

Q: What's the deal with Rogen getting all these hot chicks in his movies?
A: Haven't I mentioned enough times who wrote and directed this one? The guys that look like Brad Pitt don't write and direct because they're being Brad Pitt. And don't worry, you don't see full-on explicit Rogen or anything, though you do see a lot more of Jason Mewes than you've ever seen before, unless you travel in way different circles than I do.

Q: Why isn't there a commentary on the DVD?
A: A highlight of any Kevin Smith DVD is at least one raucous, fun-filled audio commentary track. That ain't here, as he stuns his fans by offering no commentary track at all. I read that he was too bummed out by the movie's disappointing opening to do one and that he explained it all in a podcast on his site. Well, the podcast consisted of vague references to being let down by The Powers That Be in the marketing and Smith getting high. Suffice to say a commentary track would be better, and though there are lots of extras in this 2-disc set (including a ton of deleted scenes that could well add depth to the story), you'll probably get one in an upgraded edition down the road.

Panel Discussion: Superman, you dope!

Submitted for your approval: A choice shot from "The Ghost of Lois Lane" (Superman #129, Jerry Coleman and Wayne Boring). First of all, there's that classic DC Comics convention of showing a character is all choked up by actually putting the word "choke" in the word/thought balloons. In this story, Superman, thinking he's killed Lois, *chokes* 4 times, or almost as much as Donovan McNabb in a playoff game.

Supes was trying to be helpful but wound up triggering an accident in a lab that made Lois go bye-bye. The dialogue in this panel kills me for some reason. It's a classic example of verbiage that looks OK in print but sounds terrible if you read it out loud. Hmm, actually, maybe it doesn't look so great in print, either.

Superman, you dope, you SHOULD have known x-ray vision would have acted unpredictably anywhere there were "unknown electric circuits." I mean, DUH! I tell you, for a guy with super intelligence, Kal-El just doesn't have all that much common sense sometimes.

Judge Shark Settles the Project Runway Dispute

Lifetime and Bravo (through its parent company NBC Universal) are waging a court battle with the Weinstein Company over the fate of "Project Runway," and the series is in limbo while the lawyers fight over which network gets to air it. Judge Shark graciously but authoritatively steps in now and settles this dispute himself. What follows is the text of his decision:

Although this dispute appears to concern two cable television entities and not the public airwaves, I feel that in my decision I must consider the good of the public at large, not just the interests of Lifetime and Bravo and of the show's producers.

Therefore, I declare full jurisdiction over this matter and decide as follows in the matter of who will air the latest season of "Project Runway":

NO ONE will air it.

This inane reality program has been on long enough to appease its followers for years to come. More importantly, those of us who do not follow the series are subjected to voluminous amounts of commercials, promos, and hype in all of the media when a season is running. Given Bravo's reliance on the show and constant rerunning, it feels like "Project Runway" is always running.

So it is in the best interests of America at large that the show remain off the airwaves, off cable, off satellite, off televisions everywhere, for at least another year or so.

Furthermore, the parties involved shall commit their resources and energies in more productive pursuits for the betterment of society:

*Bravo will add more variety to its schedule and stop replaying the same handful of tired reality programs ad nauseam.

*Lifetime will cease its pursuit of "Project Runway" and will buy back "Golden Girls" reruns from Hallmark. Lifetime should air "Golden Girls" reruns in perpetuity. At this point, the network is unthinkable without them.

*NBC Universal will try to develop new, original shows that entertain and enlighten. This may seem an impossible task, but perhaps by saving the legal fees that would be incurred in this case, the company can hire a few people who know what they're doing.

*The Weinstein Company will stay out of dumb reality television and concentrate on making "prestige" motion pictures and aggressively marketing them as Academy Awards contenders. With renewed focus and resources, it is this court's belief that the Weinsteins can do much better next year than "The Reader."

*Heidi Klum will continue to look hot and will seek out venues that show off her hotness.

This court's decision is final. Good luck to all those involved. Bravo is welcome to apply for a reinstatement of "Project Runway" next year at this time.

'Background to Danger" is NOT "Casablanca"

Let me assure you, "Background to Danger" (1943), directed by Raoul Walsh from a screenplay by W.R. Burnett, is NOT "Casablanca."

Even though it is a wartime Warner Brothers picture with strong pro-Allied sentiments, it is not "Casablanca."

It comments on the connection between American and European powers in the war, but it is not "Casablanca."

Though it boasts colorful turns from supporting players Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet, it is not "Casablanca."

Though it stars George Raft, a man whose career history will forever link with Humphrey Bogart, "Background to Danger" is not "Casablanca."

Though the opening shows us a map as a solemn narrator sets up the scenario for us and informs us that the locale (Turkey) is full of intrigue--and, hey, it's the same announcer (Lou Marcelle) who introduces "Casablanca"--this is NOT "Casablanca."

But back in 1943, I'll bet Warners sure wouldn't have minded if you, you know, kind of got confused on the issue and went to see it.

What IS "Background to Danger," then? Well, it's a pretty good wartime espionage pic, with the supporting performances making it worthwhile. There are some fun action sequences, and Raft has a role that doesn't embarrass him. He pretty much just has to look tough, confident, and American, and he pulls that off. I personally enjoy watching Raft in general, but this movie in particular must be one of his better roles.

Still, perhaps the best reason to see this is the presence of those two "Casablanca" vets Lorre and Greenstreet, who give you an entertaining scene whenever they appear. Watching this movie, you get the sense it's missing something, that more could be done with the theme of warring powers vying for influence in neutral Turkey. More Lorre and Greeny would be a step in the right direction. Maybe the romance angle should be stronger. Uh, not that I necessarily want Lorre and Greeny involved there.

It's a George Raft picture, though, and as such, it ain't a bad way to spend an hour and 20 minutes. Just don't expect "Casablanca."

Vault of Coolness: Richie Rich Fortune$

Am I the only one that finds this amusing in a way that was possibly not intended by the creators? I can't be the only person to read something into this cover.

This particular item has been in storage for years (an ARCHIVE FIND!), and the cover amuses me. It's been a long time since I read Richie Rich, so forgive me if I'm ignoring basic concepts of the mythology, or if I'm bringing up old stuff, but this panel amuses me as well:
Richie and Kevin are chased by criminals because Kevin took a photograph that proves them guilty. Kevin already asked Richie how many rooms are in the Rich Mansion, and the answer was about 300...on THIS floor.

If you had a really, really big house, wouldn't it be cooler to have a bunch of really, really big rooms than a bunch of regular rooms? I don't know, maybe you could have more planetariums or gymnasiums or smokeatoriums instead of making the place essentially a giant inactive hotel.

But I'm not super-rich, and this is only one floor, so, hey, what do I know?

Who in the world cares about Matt Lauer?

The Associated Press ran a story yesterday detailing NBC's plans to change its traditional "Where in the world is Matt Lauer?" stunt, keeping Matty Boy at "affordable vacation spots" in the USA instead of shipping him off to far-flung locales all over the globe. NBC allegedly feels the old way would "send the wrong message" in these current economic times.

I call BS on this one. We're supposed to believe that the Nothing But Cheap network is sensitive to viewers' concerns all of a sudden? The network that brings us "Celebrity Apprentice" and "Kath and Kim" worries about sending the wrong message?

Considering the Peacock's sorry ratings and how much it is relying on promotional tie-ins, product placements, and other types of shills to raise revenue, I think it's reasonable to think NBC is just trying to save money. Personally, I don't care where Matt Lauer spends his vacation--if I'm up that early on a weekday, I'm usually way too grumpy to watch "Today"--but I resent NBC trotting out this excuse to cover up its own cutbacks.

The Outfield's "Your Love": I have a bone to pick with VH-1 Classic

Apart from the fact that the geniuses that run it took a beautiful concept and killed it a few years ago just as I got it on my cable system, that is. I get an assortment of music videos ON DEMAND through FIOS, and some of them are in their own precious little VH-1 Classic section, which is itself divided into several subfolders.

Incidentally, I'm already nostalgic for the day when it was hip to ask, "Remember when MTV used to show videos?" That gave way to, "Remember when VH-1 used to show videos?" Now it's, "Remember when VH-1 Classic used to show videos?" Ah, progress...

Here's my beef: While it's nice to watch The Outfield's "Your Love" with the click of a button, whoever programs VH-1 Classic's On Demand selection did the British pop rock band and its fans a disservice by putting this video in the "One-Hit Wonders" subfolder. Now, I'm not a crazed Outfield devotee obsessed with monitoring the group's "propers," but just a guy who got a good deal on one of their greatest hits collections years ago and enjoyed it.

That's right, greatest HITS. "Your Love"(#6 on the Billboard Hot 100 according to Wikipedia) is clearly the band's high point, but The Outfield charted with several other singles in the 1980s, most notably "All the Love," which peaked at #19 and received mucho play on the radio and on, yes, MTV.

Any group that boasts a second successful single on the same album as its most known hit should not be labeled a "one-hit wonder." We're not talking Musical Youth here. Just because many radio stations and outlets that celebrate the 1980s ignore the other songs does not mean they didn't make an impact. VH-1 Classic should put "Your Love"in its I Love the 80s section rather than give this mostly forgotten but pleasant band an unnecessary dis.

And, oh, yeah, it should start showing videos in the afternoons and evenings again, expand its playlist, and never show "The Jacksons: An American Dream" again. But fixing this thing with The Outfield would make a nice start.

This Week in DVD

Synecdoche, New York: This tops my "must-see" list this week. It's the latest head trip from Charlie Kaufman, this time with the acclaimed writer directing his own work. This movie didn't get universal praise, and it seemed to fall off the face of the earth quickly, but Roger Ebert called it one of the best of 2008. So there.

Cadillac Records: Intriguing flick about the Chess Records label. I didn't see this one, either, but my pal Mike enjoyed aspects of it, while telling me he thought it might have made a better HBO miniseries.

Hey, I like this whole "quoting other people" thing. Saves me lots of trouble. Let's try this some more.

Get Smart Season 2: I haven't watched this show regularly, but I'll report that my dad is excited about the retail release of this season (the whole series is available from Time-Life). He tells me he's enjoying season 1 and that it's still funny as hell even when you know exactly what's going to happen.

Milk: Well, a lot of people liked it, enough that it won several Oscars. I just kind of quoted the voters, didn't I?

Howard the Duck: A lot of people think this one stinks. But don't movies that stink deserve DVD releases, too?

Family Ties Season 5: This season features some Very Special Episodes, but don't let me tell you about it, as I'm disappointed each time I revisit this series. Let Amazon customer Adrienne Miller tell you that, "Andrew has started preschool, and the whole gang is funnier and wiser."

Pinocchio Platinum Edition: I'm sure this is a great package. I'm gonna quote myself here, though, from 3 days ago, when I said, "I'm telling you, I don't CARE about Blu-Ray right now! Just let me know about the regular DVD release!" Unfortunately, I said that to myself, and I couldn't really answer my own question, but I think it's still a pretty good quote.

Happy-Go-Lucky:Many critics and fans were charmed by the lead character in Mike Leigh's movie, a woman who certainly personifies the title description. Not so an IMDB commenter, who described her thus:

Poppy's message: Come on, be happy man, who cares what grief you might actually be feeling or in what way you might be distracted or maybe you are just at work and don't want to deal with my 3-year-old personality. Just be happy because I say so and if you aren't happy, well, you just aren't NICE.

Rachel Getting Married: Jonathan Demme's film provided a standout acting showcase for Anne Hathaway. I didn't see it, so let me instead another IMDB user, Dave 660, who asks...

"Where did her boobs go? she's still cute she but seemed a lot more curvier before. i hope she doesn't waste away on the red bull and cigarettes diet like every other young actress in Hollywood."

Role Models: Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd are no Will Farrell and John C. Reilly, and considering I think Rudd's pretty cool, you can figure what I think about Scott. But who cares what I think? Andrew L. Urban on Urban Cinefile said this:

Like so many of Hollywood's youth oriented comedies, this is like a mound of dog turd flavoured with honey; the crass vulgarities are sweetened by add-on humanity. But just like dog turd with honey on it, the mess is unappetising.

Commenting on crass vulgarity WITH crass vulgarity=better quote than anything I could write.

That's it for this week. I didn't see hardly any of these new releases, so I'd like to thank Roger Ebert, Michael Cowgill, my dad, the Academy, lots of people, Adrienne, the IMDB, and Andrew for contributing.

This I Believe

This I believe:

British and Australian people, the women in particular, are squandering one of the best accents in the world by using the word "bum" to refer to the posterior.

"Butt" or "ass" or maybe even--in rare cases--"bottom" sounds pretty cool. "Bum" sounds ridiculous, and its utterance demolishes the credibility of whoever says it.

This I believe.

A classic infomercial returns

Let this be an alert to all ye viewers of too much television that one of the best infomercials (a dubious honor, I'll grant you) has returned to regular rotation. That is, an old favorite of mine has returned with a new installment. I am talking about the half-hour pitch for "The Best of the Dean Martin Variety Shows." This commercial, loaded with clips, interviews, and, well, more clips, is more entertaining than a lot of actual programming on TV these days (again, perhaps that's a dubious honor).

I've been down this road before. The infomercial touting the Best of the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts was a riot. In fact, it was so good I was actually tempted to buy the video until I noted the fine print and realized it was kind of a club with (likely) outrageous prices. Besides, the collection of snippets from the roasts was so well executed in its assemblage, and so mesmerizing in its repetition on late-night TV, that I feared the actual product would pale in comparison.

I felt much the same way when I saw Regis Philbin host a half-hour shill for The Best of the Dean Martin Variety Shows. Regis didn't need to give his "showbiz credibility" to the material; it sold itself with all the goofy footage of Dean singing, drinking, acting drunk, making drinking jokes with various celebrities. Or it would have sold itself had I been willing to pay for it. The infomercial was almost enough, and though I believed the DVDs would be a lot of fun, again I wondered if they could live up to the maximum per-minute fun ratio established by showing a series of brief tidbits.

Well, there's a new Regis-less version of this infomercial, with a new assortment of highlights shilling the same DVDs. The videos still offer music, dancing, comedy, and all sorts of good old-fashioned fun. I don't think the infomercial showed any clip longer than 60 seconds, but so what? What do you need with full segments when you have Ruth Buzzi and Dom DeLuise TELLING you how great the show was?

Last but not least, at one point we get a tantalizing glimpse of Dean Martin and Foster Brooks together! How does it happen? What transpires? I don't know, but they both appear sloshed, and really, that's probably all we need to know. The full sketch could very well disappoint.

So I'm not buying these DVDs, but if I catch the infomercial again, maybe I'll try to record IT.

UPDATE: As I went to press with this post (a fancy way of saying after I wrote it but before I published it) I saw the original Regis-hosted version of this infomercial. Each is recommended. I assumed the Reege one was pulled from circulation, but I may have missed the point. Maybe the goal is to keep producing the infomercials so that eventually a channel can program a whole night of Dean Martin Infomercials. And then, of course, there will be a Best of the Dean Martin Infomercials DVD Collection. And they'll need an infomercial to sell it...

5Q Movie Review: Vicky Christina Barcelona

Q: So, uh, Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson. They, uh...kiss, huh?
A: Settle down, Beavis. Yes, the brief sapphic smooching did draw all the attention (at least before the Academy Award nominations came out), but it is BRIEF smooching. I'm telling you right now, don't rent or buy "Vicky" just for this, or you'll be disappointed. The movie suggests sexiness without actually delivering much of it.

Not that I'm telling you from experience.

Q: Speaking of awards, did Penelope Cruz deserve her Best Supporting Actress Oscar?
A: I can only say she gives the movie much of its oomph. I'd even say most of its oomph. I'd break it down like this: 45% of the oomph: Javier Bardem. 55% of the oomph: Penelope Cruz. Cruz gives an entertaining, magnetic performance as Bardem's rather...volatile ex. However, she shows up later in the movie and appears less than you might expect.

Still, the Spanish characters drive this comedy-drama. I didn't find it all that exciting, partly because the American characters were so inert. They spend the movie deliberating and self-doubting while the Spaniards spend it living. That's kind of the point, but it makes the movie rather flat sometimes.

I found myself wanting more Cruz and Bardem and not as much of Scarlett Johansson and the main character played by Rebecca Hall.

Q: Rebecca Hall? Wait, she's the lead character? Wait, she's IN it?
A: Yes on both counts. If I were her, I'd be a little miffed about how things worked out. I don't know if she was even on the posters. But, yeah, she's ostensibly the lead. I found her much more appealing when I saw her recently as an entirely different character in "Starter for Ten," but, hey, it's Woody Allen's movie, and he did what he wanted to do.

Q: Does Barcelona look awesome in this movie?
A: It sure does. The story is thin, but you can't help but be charmed by watching attractive people in attractive locales.

Q: Do the extras on the DVD shed any light on what Woody is going for?
A: Surely you jest. One of the reasons I'll always make posts about Woody DVDs "5Q Movie Reviews" instead of "Journey Into DVD"s is that his discs never have any extras. The movie is pretty much it.

Vault of Coolness: Wrestling Revue

Welcome to "Vault of Coolness," the newest ongoing feature on the blog, in which I trot out material from the deep archives at Cultureshark Tower (probably mostly old comic books and magazines for now) and discuss it a bit.

I got this mag at a collectibles emporium in Massachusetts, literally stumbling on a box of old wrestling mags while navigating through the chaos of stacks, piles, and lumps of stuff that clutter the place.

This September 1971 issue of "Wrestling Revue" is well worth the two bucks or so I paid for it, though the "humor and tragedy in wrestling" piece contains precious little of either.

You may notice the words "BIRD BRAIN" scribbled over a picture of "Beautiful Bobby." Throughout the entire article on this wrestler, the original owner of this mag wrote those words. This is the only section that's at all defaced, but here it happens several times. Whoever read this really didn't like Beautiful Bobby, maybe even HATED the guy--enough to change the performer's alliterative moniker to "BIRD BRAIN." That'll show him! Maybe this person went to go see Beautiful Bobby live, and maybe that person got to call him "BIRD BRAIN" right then and there, and maybe the comment was heard and processed by the wrestling villain.

And maybe the heel shed a tear afterwards, reflecting on what a rough way it was to make a living when you had to go out there and endure being called "BIRD BRAIN."

This kind of thing fascinates me, but if it doesn't fascinate you, maybe this will: here's a cool picture from inside the mag, an old mug shot of a "Bobby" who is much more well known today: Bobby Heenan. Looking suave, Bobby!

Brooks on Books: The Best American Comics 2007

This cool hardcover anthology is part of the "Best American..." series published annually by Houghton Mifflin. The "Best" part of the title indicates, well, that you can expect to read the best, but in his introductory remarks, editor Chris Ware does his best to purge that expectation and claims only to have picked out a bunch of things he liked.

Turns out the things he liked don't include anything with superheroes, or anything published by DC or Marvel, but I don't know if this series could get reprint rights to that kind of "mainstream" stuff, anyway. What you get here, and in the 2006 volume edited by Harvey Pekar, is an assortment of independent comics, many crude-looking, others gorgeous; many autobiographical (Ware defensively addresses the tendency of so many indie comics, as well as the ones he selects here, to be autobiographical and risk "navel-gazing"), others more abstract.

It's a compact yet hefty package, a well-designed book that will look good on your shelf. I don't know how much re-readability it has, though. Many of the selections are excerpts of larger works, which is a little frustrating at times. "Best American Comics" is better as a sampler of what's going on in indie comics today than it is as an enduring, complete piece of work in itself.

It's an anthology, so you'll like some of it and maybe not like some of it. I personally found more affecting work overall in the 2006 volume, but that's probably just the luck of the draw. I'd rate highest, to name a few, the autobiographical story from Alison Bechdel and the faux-autobiographical work of Adrian Tomine. My favorite in here is the amazing "Won't Get Licked Again," Dan Zettwoch's tale from the 1937 flood of Louisville. A lot of the excerpts and pieces in here don't linger as much as I'd hope, though, possibly because of their incomplete nature. They might motivate you to seek out more of that creator,

There is indeed a certain sameness that sets in after reading a bunch of reflective autobiographical works with similar tones, but then something like the bizarre story by "Rad Print" comes along and shakes you up...and you may appreciate the autobios again.

Many of the artists represented here are familiar names that probably turn up in all these anthologies: Ivan Brunetti, Lynda Berry, the Crumbs, Jeffrey Brown...Ware feels he has to explain why Daniel Clowes is not in here (he didn't make any comics in the year covered), and it sort of makes me wonder if a lot of these artists would automatically pick each other for these kinds of collections. Is there only one type of comic that qualifies as "good" in the hip world? I suspect the hardcore comic audience knows a lot of this material already. But Ware acknowledges this whole sort of thing and stresses that he doesn't claim to have read everything or even close to it.

You might want to leaf through this one before buying it, but there is a lot of good reading material in "The Best American Comics 2007." Don't sweat the impossibly definitive title, but rather enjoy this as a chance to look at a bunch of lesser-known work (to a general audience) being done in the world of comics.

Box Office Preview

Our fearless box office predictions are the product of minutes of number-crunching and Dorito-crunching.

*"The Watchmen" will make a lot of money.

*Some will say it's not enough money.

*Others will say it's plenty.

*At least 10 different media outlets will feature some variant of the phrase "Who Watches the Watchmen" in their weekend box office reports on Monday.

*There will be people who can't get into some evening screenings of "The Watchmen." They will be asked if they'd like to see something else, like "He's Just Not That Into You." They will go home.

*Less people will see the Jonas Brothers movie than did the week before. This will lead to more "Are the Jonases done?" stories.

*If the Jonases go see "The Watchmen," they will be asked if they liked it. Their admissions will not count towards the box office numbers.

Half-Assed Gourmet: Arby's Roast Burger

The other day, I was oot and aboot, as our Canadian friends might say (though I wasn't in Canada), and I needed some food, fast. So I went to Arby's for some fast food.

I wish I could say, "Been to one Arby's, you been to 'em all," but in my experience, there's a loooooot of variability in this chain. My last visit was disappointing, but I gave it another shot (at a different location) because 1) when Arby's is good, it's very good, and 2) I wanted to try the new Roast Burger.

I knew nothing about the Roast Burger except that it looked good in the sign on the window. I wanted to make sure there was no funky kind of Special Sauce on the sandwich, so I had this conversation with the woman behind the counter.

ME: "Is there any kind of sauce on that Roast Burger?"
HER: Yes.

At this point, I paused, expecting she would be a little more specific. Well, to be fair, I asked a Yes/No question, and that's the kind of answer I got.

ME: Uh...what KIND of sauce?
HER: Like on a burger. It's seasoning, like a burger.

Then she kind of glanced up at the big Roast Burger poster, like that photo would tell me everything I needed to know.

At THIS point, I felt I knew less than when I started. But she walked over towards the food area, and I thought she was going to get some packet of sauce or seasoning and show me what it was. Turned out, she was only getting a receipt from a previous order. She went back to the register and looked at me expectantly.

Well, Mama Shark didn't raise no coward, so I risked the presence of weirdo special sauce, bizarre seasoning, or worst of all mayonaisse, and ordered a bacon and cheddar Roast Burger.

It was OK, but not great. You know what it tasted like? A roast beef sandwich. It was a roast beef sandwich with a big bun, lettuce, some big tomatoes, and a few big onions. Since I picked the tomatoes and onions off, I might as well have just bought a roast beef sandwich...especially since that's basically what I got.

And by the way, the seasoning on that thing must have been real subtle, because I sure as heck didn't taste it. Nor did I taste any kind of sauce. So the Roast Burger remains a mystery to me, even after I asked about it, ordered it, and ate it.

What's not a mystery is that I should have just gone to McDonald's.

Beery! Raft! "The Bowery!"

Some things that did not surprise me and did surprise me during a Cultureshark Tower screening of "The Bowery" on Fox Movie Channel:

NOT SURPRISING

*I loved the movie. DUH! Wallace Beery and George Raft, two of my favorite movie stars, headline. Plus there's plenty of broads, boozing, and even some boxing. How can it not be cool?

*Third-billed Jackie Cooper does a lot of blubbering.

*Cooper's blubbering inspires a lot of "Awwww..." faces from Beery. We expect nothing less from this pairing.

*Raft and Beery get into several brawls. The movie tells us right away how rough and tumble the Bowery was in the turn of the century, and since the film is set there, well, by Jove, we're gonna see some rough-housing!

*Guys walk around with cool derby hats and old-old-school mustaches.

*Raft does a little dancing. He got his start in entertainment as a dancer, you know.

*Fay Wray is charming.

SURPRISING

*One of the Raft-Beery brawls features a cast of dozens, as rival volunteer fire squads race to the scene of a blaze, each trying to be first, and wind up in an awesome melee that reportedly caused real injuries to the participants. I wouldn't be stunned if this scene was an inspiration for "Gangs of New York."

*Casual racism. I shouldn't be too taken aback to hear ethnic slurs tossed out with abandon in a 1930s depiction of 1890s New York, but the opening shot, for crying out loud, shows an establishment's name with the "N" word prominent in all its (un)glory. And the Chinese will find plenty to offend them in here, too. Well, we're all offended, but you know what I mean.

*Pert Kelton as a dance hall singer: I've seen her before in old movies and should know better, but it still catches me off guard to see her as anything but the more haggard, rougher-edged pre-Audrey Meadows Alice Kramden.

*"The Bowery" is actually based on real events. Raft's character, Steve Brodie, is a real figure who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, or at least said he did. The event is a big deal in this Raoul Walsh film.

*The League of Women Voters gets some action in this movie, and by "action," I mean it gets to break stuff. Some people just protest saloons, but these ladies bust them up.


"The Bowery" is a helluva movie, one worth catching the next time Fox Movie Channel runs it at, say, 8:00 in the morning. I can't think of a better way to wake up than with these lugs doing their thing. Hey, I just thought of something: "Breakfast with Beery." Feel free to use it, Fox (or TCM).

This Week in DVD

Australia: They say everything's bigger in Oz. Or maybe everything's more penal in Oz. Or maybe--eh, I don't know. But now, finally, the movie Hugh Jackman self-mockingly referenced at the Oscars can be YOURS on DVD!

Beverly Hills Chihuahua: I think Salma Hayek was somehow involved in producing this one. She has a child, marries an old French dude, and produces this...and is still one of the sexiest women ever. I think that deserves Hall of Fame status.

My Two Dads Season 1: Ooh, do we get to hear the Greg-Evigan-performed (and penned!) theme song in 5.1?

Ace Ventura Pet Detective Jr.: This belongs in the horror section as proof that Ace Ventura breeds?

Saturday Morning: A romantic comedy starring Joey Piscopo. This belongs in the horror section as proof that Joe Piscopo breeds.

Watchmen: The Motion Comic: If the movie intrigues you, but reading comics is too muchwork for you, well, help is on the way.

Wonder Woman: Keri Russell stars as the superheroine in this direct-to-video animated feature. These DC animated DVDs have been excellent, and let's hope this one is, too, because that long-planned live action Wonder Woman movie is an increasingly distant prospect. In the meantime, you'll just have to imagine Russell, or any of the dozens of actresses rumored to be up for the "real" flick, in that costume.

In the Electric Mist: Speaking of straight to video, how does a Tommy Lee Jones movie based on novelist James Lee Burke's possible Dave Robicheaux character get shut out of theaters? Is this the kind of country we live in, a nation which gives Tommy Lee Jones no respect? Is this what we have to look forward to in Barack Obama's America?

I've Loved You So Long: Had a few things broken differently for this one, we might have been snapping this one up this week to see Kristin Scott Thomas' Academy-Award-nominated performance as a woman reuniting with her sister. Instead, it got no recongition, so we're now free to ignore it.

First Impulse: The Jimmy Fallon Show...or Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

It's ridiculous to judge a daily entertainment show on one episode, let alone its first episode, but, hey, this is "First Impulse," not "Reasoned Analysis Following Painstaking Deliberation." Come to think of it, there ARE no tags on this blog for "Reasoned Analysis." Hmm...

Anyway, I never liked Jimmy Fallon on "Saturday Night Live." I didn't like him in "Fever Pitch," either, though I disliked him less. And I disliked him even LESS on his "Late Night" debut Monday night. I guess maybe he's a lot easier to take when he's not stifling giggles during the middle of a bit with Horatio Sanz two feet away.

Fallon's not gonna win me over anytime soon, but I was kind of hoping he'd calm down a little bit during his first episode--not because I was bothered as a viewer, but just for his own well-being. He didn't do anything embarrassing, and I kind of hoped he could just relax a bit. Something about him just seemed twittery (as opposed to Twitter-y) the whole night.

The monologue was OK, with the host providing some entertaining responses to audience shout-outs. Assuming this wasn't staged, it bodes well for Fallon's ability to think on his feet as host.

The "Slow Jamming the News" bit, with the significant aid of house band The Roots, wasn't bad. It's pretty much exactly what the title indicates. I don't know how often they can do that routine, but it's amusing. However, the "Lick it for 10" segment, with audience members encouraged to lick objects for 10 bucks, was embarrassing, and not just for the obvious reason. In different circumstances, I might give the benefit of the doubt and figure that having someone lick a lawnmower, and having the announcer give us a complete rundown of the specs and manufacturer and retail price of the lawnmower, is some kind of ironic commentary. But given what we know about how desperate and product-placement-happy NBC is, it's just embarrassing.

Then came the interviews. Remember a paragraph or two ago when I expressed optimism for Fallon's ability to think on his feet? The interview with Robert DeNiro punts that optimism into a capsule, sneaks it onto a Russian space flight, and jettisons it into outer space. Fallon didn't panic, exactly, but he seemed overeager to AVOID panic. Much of the interview played like a defensive struggle to ward off awkwardness...and that created, you guess it, awkwardness.

Then Justin Timberlake appeared on the program, and my finger appeared on the fast forward button.

Van Morrison performed, and I didn't watch that segment, either. But how much does Jimmy Fallon have to do with the quality of Van Morrison's performance? I do think it's cool that the show booked a Golden Oldie like Van the Man for its premiere instead of some teenage-chasing flavor of the month. Maybe they thought Timberlake would cover them demographically.

Overall, it was an unexceptional first hour. Jimmy Fallon looks eager to please, and if he works hard, he might make good at 12:37 A.M. Me, I'll be sitting this one out for a while unless he gets some amazing guests. I mean, I haven't watched Conan for years, and I used to check out his show frequently.

"Love is News" (1937) and the Newspaper Movie

Yesterday I whined about the decline of newspapers. Today, The greatest Cable channel known to Man is running a festival of print journalism movies. And last week I watched, via Fox Movie Channel, the 1937 Tyrone Power flick "Love is News." All of this has me thinking: The death of newspapers is terrible news for movies.

How will we replace all those great scenes of grizzled newsmen (and women) sitting around cracking wise and pounding out copy on their keyboards (typewriters or even better, of course)? Or the rush of reporters to a bank of phones so they can call in stories to "the desk" back at "the office"?

It's bad enough we lost fedoras and little cards that say "PRESS" and giant cameras that blind everyone in the scene with a supernova of a flash. It's bad enough we said good-bye years ago to the classic scene of a scrappy bigmouth yelling "Extry! Extry!" causing characters to stop in their tracks, wheel around, and grab a copy of that latest edition so they can confirm the shocking proclamation. "Yep...Mrs. Flanagan's cat DID find way back home."

Now we run the risk of losing all those other great newspaper movie cliches. What, you want to see a dramatic scene of a blogger rushing to his keyboard to upload a wise-ass review of a State of the Union speech. Of course not! Maybe so-called New Media and New Journalism can replace Old Newspapers in real life, but who cares about real life? In the movies, newspapers will never be replaced.

Fortunately we still have old flicks like "Love is News" to remind us of better days. This isn't a great one, even as screwball-ish newspaper romantic comedies, but the cast works hard. Reporter Tyrone Power tricks heiress Loretta Young to get a story, then she tricks him right back, which leads to all sorts of hijinks for the better part of an hour and a half as they fall in love, menace each other, and argue, not necessarily in that order. All the while, Power squabbles with his colleague Don Ameche, who gets to act exasperated a lot while Power gets to look dashing.

"Love is News" is hurt by a too-long sequence in which the leads are in a small-town jail. Despite Slim Summerville doing his thing as the judge in charge of the place, the story drags for a while. Plus it's tough to really get into the Power/Young pairing, and the movie just feels overall like one that is straining to be much more clever than it really is.

But it's entertaining enough, offering small roles for the likes of George Sanders, Jane Darwell, Stepin Fetchit, and a not-sleazy-as-usual Elisha Cook Jr. And it has plenty of Newspaper in it. We need to preserve films like this to remind the whippersnappers what journalism was like back in the day...or, more importantly, what Hollywood told us journalism was like back in the day.

What this country needs is a good 25-cent newspaper

Do you folks realize that "The Washington Post" costs 75 cents weekdays now, while a copy of "USA Today" is a full buck? This would be way too much even if the newspapers WEREN'T shrinking, both in quality (due to personnel attrition through buyouts of veteran talent and layoffs, as well as other cost-cutting measures) and in size (Thinner sections and even physically shrinking the dimensions of the newspaper, as the "Baltimore Sun" just did).

Whenever I visit my parents over the holidays, my mother--who is the best, by the way--often indulges my newspaper habit by picking me up a stack at the store. This past year, I was shocked at how much even the small locals were, let alone the national tabloids. My habit is becoming almost like smoking--increasingly expensive and decreasingly practiced.

It's a death spiral, with newspapers making themselves less appealing to loyal readers while somehow trying to capture the new or disloyal ones. I love newspapers and I've had a habit of looking at a daily rag or two for decades now (OK, I'm not that old, but "decades" is kind of dramatic, so I'm going with it because more than one decade=decades). When I moved down to the greater DC metro area, I thought one of the coolest things about living here was access to an affordable subscription to the "Post." What had been an expensive occasional Sunday treat back home was now a part of my daily routine.

Now, though, the paper I loved is no more. The end of the stand-alone "Book World" section on Sundays is just the latest in a line of moves that have decimated all the things that made the paper unique. I don't care if I can get similar (or the same) content on the Internet. I spend too much time on computers already; I want a newspaper I can hold in my hands, lay out on the floor or table, and throw in a pile until my wife yells at me for not recycling it quickly enough.

I want that newspaper every day, and I want SEVERAL on Fridays, for the movie reviews, and several more on Sundays for all the Sunday-only features, but not at the prices they're charging nowadays. Besides, those features are on the way out, leaving less and less to justify overpaying at the local grocery store. The "Post" is raising its subscription rates, and that's just another good reason to say good-bye when my current term expires.

That said, if I could pay a quarter a day, I'd be tempted to stick around. As long as there are the comic strips, the Sunday ads (although Circuit City is out of business and Best Buy has given up in my area, making it harder to hunt for DVD bargains), and the entertaining sports columnists, there will be content in a newspaper for me to enjoy. But not at these prices.

This Week in DVD

Be gone, February! May the Ides of March bring in some more exciting DVD releases!

Wait a minute, the Ides is the beginning, right?

*Gasoline Alley and Friends: I know nothing about these old movies based on the long-running comic strip (I guess it wasn't as long-running at the time the movies were made), but I can tell you this set, which features a few other comedies, is the official DVD of the Month at In the Balcony. And VCI sent me a 35% off coupon for it via email.

*Johnny Legend Presents Groucho! James Dean! and Marilyn!: It's hard to get info about these kinds of releases, but I found the details on this website. This DVD includes the 1949 pilot of "You Bet Your Life," the Jack Benny episode with Groucho, the Benny program with Marilyn Monroe, and an early James Dean TV appearance in 'The Campbell Soup Showcase"called "Something for an Empty Briefcase." The cover touts vintage commercials and other goodies, too. A lot of this is out there from other sources, but if you get a deal on it, this might be a good package.

*Breaking Bad Season 1: I still haven't seen more than the first episode of "Mad Men," but I did catch AMC's other breakout hit...and I enjoyed it, much more than I anticipated. I'm no fan of "Malcolm in the Middle," but Bryan Cranston is great in this.

*Summer Heights High Season 1: An Australian comic plays a bunch of different wacky characters in this high school comedy. I caught the first episode on an HBO free preview, and while I didn't think it was funny enough to make me want to resubscribe, I'd probably watch more. Hey, how's that for an incisive review?

*What Just Happened?: What's the only thing more commonplace in Hollywood than preposterous decisions being made? That's right: Hollywood making movies about preposterous decisions being made in Hollywood. Here's another one. Based on the memoirs of producer Art Linson, this features Bobby DeNiro and a host of other stars, and it sounds kind of funny, but the word on it is almost universally blah.